Chapter 14

FOURTEEN

Briar smiled when he walked into the office and saw me. He was beautiful. He was wearing jeans and a white knitted sweater. The sweater had baggy sleeves that looked like they'd been slashed or something—there was probably a fashion term for it—and lacy inserts stitched in the gaps. It made him appear pretty and soft, but that illusion didn't last.

When he saw Trey and Scout, Briar's smile faded, and his brow creased. He dropped his backpack on the floor. "What's going on?"

Archer closed the door behind them.

"You want to take a seat, bro?" Trey asked, gesturing at the couch.

Briar looked at the couch, and then glanced back at Trey. "No. Bro."

All the hostility that had been slowly evaporating from him the whole time he'd been living with us was suddenly back, and it was as sharp as ever.

I sat down on the couch, hoping it'd encourage him to do the same.

It didn't.

"What's going on?" he asked again, his voice low.

"We just want to talk to you about some stuff," Trey said.

Briar folded his arms over his chest. "What sort of stuff?"

Trey flipped open the file on his desk. "Why you're tanking your classes, for a start."

"What?" Briar's brow creased further, and then he rolled his eyes. "Fucking Knox, right? It's no big deal. I suck at pop quizzes, that's all. I can pull my grades up before exams."

"You have a GPA of 3.6 from Harvey," Scout said. "That's pretty impressive. I wouldn't expect someone with a GPA of 3.6 to have trouble with quizzes. And you got a—what was it? A 150 on your LSAT."

"A 160," I corrected, and Scout shot me a narrow look.

"Yeah," Briar said, a little wide-eyed suddenly. "160."

"Okay," Trey said. "So, you know we have an academic standard in Alpha Tau. Like, we're not gonna throw anyone out if they fail one class, but what we need is a commitment that you're going to work towards upping your grades. If you have to retake a class, that's fine."

"I don't," Briar said. "I haven't failed anything."

"And this is like early intervention," Archer said. He showed Briar an encouraging smile. "If you need help, or if you're struggling because you had to change schools, we can figure out some strategies and stuff with you. Hell, we did it for Marty last year."

"It's probably tempting not to worry about your grades, what with having such an amazing LSAT score," Scout said. "But you still gotta meet the requirements."

Fuck. He just wasn't going to leave that alone, was he?

Briar shot him a death glare. "I haven't even failed anything yet. This is bullshit."

"Okay," Trey said. "But a part of what got you into Alpha Tau was your academic record. So, what we need going forward is a copy of your transcript from Harvey."

Briar's eyes narrowed.

"You can't ask for that," I said. "You know you can't."

Trey shrugged. "This whole discussion can be over the second we have it. It's really that simple."

Briar clenched and unclenched his fists. "What the fuck is this, Casey?"

I jolted when he said my name. "They think you lied about your GPA."

His gaze didn't leave mine. "And what do you think?"

There was no fucking way to answer that, was there? He knew it, and so did I. Our relationship had hit the rocks the moment he walked into this room and saw I was a part of this because one thing I didn't doubt for a second about Briar Pendelton was that he could hold a fucking grudge.

Still, I had to say something. "Briar, can't you just let them see your transcript?"

"Or your LSAT," Scout said. "We'd accept that as a show of good faith."

I thought Briar would tell us all to get fucked. Instead, he stared at me while he dragged his hand through his hair. Stared at me but said, "I think we are all aware, Scout, that I have never taken the LSAT."

I heard him, clear as day, but it took a moment longer for the words to actually sink in. It was so ridiculous that I almost wanted to laugh. I wasn't aware he hadn't taken the LSAT. It had never even crossed my mind, which made me the dumbest guy in the room—in the world—because even when Scout had grabbed onto it like a dog with a fucking bone, the penny hadn't dropped for me.

"You lied," I said. "You lied to get into Alpha Tau, and you didn't even fucking like us. You lied to me."

I didn't even give a fuck about that shit. Well, that wasn't entirely true. I was proud of Alpha Tau and proud of my part in vetting new members. It was just that the sudden realization that everything else between us had also been a lie felt so much bigger. Who cared if some asshole pledge wrote some bullshit on his fraternity application? But Briar had lied to me about who he was. About who we were. I'd spent the last few weeks falling for this guy, and the whole time he'd just been playing me.

"Who even are you, Briar?" I asked. My voice cracked. "Because I don't think I can trust a single thing you've told me."

"Casey," Trey said sharply. "Not the time."

It was a stark reminder that this wasn't about me. Even though my world was falling apart, I was going to have to suck it up for now and deal with it later.

Note to self: schedule emotional meltdown for 8-8:30pm.

"So, what are our choices here?" Scout said.

Trey sat forward in his chair and set his elbows on the desk. "That's up to Briar. If he helps us out, tells us exactly what his deal is, we can see if we can figure anything out. But we have to know what we're dealing with here." He let out a breath. "Briar?"

"Is that a plea deal you're offering, counselor?" Briar's hands curled into fists at his sides. "Fuck, you really all do get off playing at lawyers, don't you?"

"We're trying to help you," Archer said, "but you gotta work with us."

"Well maybe I don't need your fucking help," Briar snapped. "And hey, maybe I never wanted to be part of your special fucking lawyer club in the first place! In fact, you know what? You can shove your fucking fraternity right up your asses. I'm out." His chest heaved, and his nostrils flared, and for a second there I thought he was going to start throwing punches. But he just turned on his heel and stormed out the door, leaving us staring after him.

After Briar left,I couldn't move. It felt like my bones were made of lead, and standing was impossible. My stomach was tied in knots, and I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or throw up.

Probably not that last one. Scout would kill me if I ruined the good rug in Trey's office. A weird hitching sound left me at the thought of it.

It was Archer who sank down onto the couch next to me. "Bro. You okay?"

I stared at him in disbelief. "Oh, yeah. I'm peachy, thanks. My boyfriend's been lying to me, and now he's leaving before I even get to speak to him properly, and I'm pretty sure we're going to break up, but other than that, I'm absolutely fucking stellar."

"Don't be so dramatic and get off your ass and follow him," Scout said, glaring at me. "Someone has to."

"What?"

Scout pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sure, he's a lying little fucker, but he's still a brother until we say he's not. So you need to see if you can talk some sense into his stubborn ass, because he sure as fuck isn't going to speak to anyone else right now."

"And you think he'll talk to me?"

"You've sucked his dick, Casey," Scout said. "Well, I presume. I don't need the details. My point is, he likes you more than he likes the rest of us."

God, I wanted that to still be true. I had my doubts though. "I don't know."

Scout rolled his eyes. "Just go and do"—he waved a hand vaguely—"the thing you do as pledge master where you're all understanding and shit. Pretend that Briar isn't your boyfriend right now. This is a new brother having a meltdown, and I know you know how to deal with those."

And the thing was, I did. Hell, Briar wasn't the first brother who'd needed talking down. And I was good at it. So I had to put on my big boy pants, ignore my hurt feelings, and see if I couldn't get Briar to at least talk to me.

"Fine." I pushed myself to my feet.

Archer stood and wrapped his arms around me, patting me on the back in a gesture of encouragement. "You got this, bro."

"Sure thing," I said and went to find Briar before I could change my mind.

He was upstairs in his room, grabbing clothes and stuffing them into two suitcases with frantic movements. I knocked on the frame of the open door, and his head whipped around at the sound. His face was a picture of hurt, and he tensed at the sight of me. "What do you want? Have you come to make sure I'm leaving? Or are you checking that I'm not stealing the silverware?" His tone was sharp.

"Silverware's in the kitchen," I said. "And I wanted to see if you'd stay."

He took two steps toward me, and I actually got my hopes up for a second there—right before he slammed the door in my face.

Okay then.

I looked up and down the hallway. James Two was looking out his door, and he gave me a thumbs-up and a grimace that I had no idea how to interpret. It probably meant something like "He's going to eviscerate you, Casey, but it was nice knowing you." Then he ducked back inside his room, presumably so he didn't have to be a witness to my upcoming humiliation. I appreciated that.

"Briar?" I knocked gently on the door. "Bri?"

Of course he didn't answer.

I turned around and leaned on the door for a moment. Talk to him, Scout had said, which was easier said than done with a door in my face. It wasn't impossible though.

I slid down the door and landed on my ass on the floor. I stretched my legs out, figuring I was going to be here for a while, and then leaned my head back against the door.

"Okay," I said. "Since you know we love playing at being lawyers, how about this? The facts in evidence. You're struggling in class. You told us you were on a 3.6 GPA from Harvey. That's hearsay though, right? So what we're trying to do, like the bunch of wannabe lawyers we are, is figure out the facts of the case. But also, like, your motive." I bumped my head against the back of the door. "I think this analogy is getting messy. Because real life lawyers aren't like Perry Mason. They don't solve the crime. Maybe I should go into tree law like Marty wants to."

I listened for a moment but only heard silence from inside Briar's room.

"I know you've lied about stuff," I said. "Not just school stuff. And I want to say I don't care about that, but I can't—not until I know the reason why. Like—here's another legal term—mitigating circumstances. That's a thing. And I get that you hate to share shit with people, but... but sometimes, that's the only way to get help. And you're probably in there right now making that scrunched up face of yours and telling yourself you don't need help, but I think you do, Briar." I had to clear my throat because it was stinging. "And even if you don't want my help, I think you need someone's help."

Silence. Then, "Keep talking."

"I really like you," I told the hallway. James Two's door snicked shut, and I closed my eyes as though that would stop me from thinking about how many guys could conceivably be listening in right now. Only one of them mattered. "You're the first guy I ever kissed. My first boyfriend. And maybe it's dumb, but I thought we really had something."

There was a soft thud on the other side of the door that sounded suspiciously like someone sitting their ass down to listen.

"I made stupid plans in my head," I said. "But I never mentioned them because I figured it'd freak you out. I wanted to take you home and introduce you to my sister. She's super cool. You can't tell her I said that though. Tell her I said she was a bitch. She'll believe that. Anyway, her name's Jamie, and she knows about you. She knows I had a huge crush on you before we even did anything." I let out a long breath. "My parents don't know but only because I didn't think it was a conversation to have over the phone. They'll be chill. My mom is bi, and my dad says he's not, but he has what he calls a man crush on Idris Elba, so I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree."

"Idris Elba's pretty hot, though." Briar said quietly. "Your dad can probably claim him as a mitigating circumstance."

"Case dismissed with all charges thrown out," I said, trying to keep my voice steady despite the way I wanted to yell and punch the air because Briar was actually talking to me. "Like, have you seen him with gray in his beard?" I let out a low whistle.

"You do realize how weird it is to be sitting in the hallway discussing your father's man crushes, right?"

"It's just the one crush," I said. "But yeah, I know. I would be inside your room talking about my father's man crushes, only there's this door."

"Maybe it's symbolic," Briar said. "Like, one door closes or something."

"Maybe. Or maybe you think that door's closed when it's really not."

Briar snorted. "You really suck at analogies, did you know that?"

"You started it with your metaphorical door. And your physical door."

Briar was silent for a moment. "I just… can't face you right now, okay?"

"I get it," I said quickly. "You're mad at me. At us. And for the record, I didn't hear about today's meeting until right before you did. It's not like I was keeping it a secret or anything."

"I walked in there, and you were on their side."

He was wrong about that, but I could see why it looked that way.

"Maybe there aren't any sides."

A faint snort. "Is this another metaphorical door?"

"No. I'm just saying, maybe it's just one side, your side, but you just don't know what that looks like." I screwed up my face, glad he couldn't see it because I was afraid what I was about to say might set him off all over again. "Because I don't think many people have been on your side before, right?"

Silence stretched out in the hallway.

Then, at last, there was movement, and the door creaked open an inch. I stared at it until Briar said, "Well? Are you coming in or not?"

"I'm coming in," I said quickly, before he could change his mind. I stood and slipped into his room, and as soon as I did, Briar pushed the door closed and shoved me against it and wrapped himself around me.

He buried his face against my collarbone and mumbled, "I wish I could stay mad at you."

"You can stay mad at me," I said. "But please don't shut any more doors in my face. Either physical or metaphorical."

"Don't be a dumbass, and it's a deal," he said. He lifted his head and grimaced. "I'm pretty sure we're not going to be sharing any doors from now on, though. I did tell the chapter executive to go fuck themselves."

"Point of order, you actually told them to shove their fucking fraternity up their asses. Completely different."

He gave a bitter laugh. "Because that's so much better, right? Either way, I'm out." He buried his face in my collarbone again. I pretended not to notice his breath hitching as I traced soothing circles on the back of his sweater.

I waited until he was still and quiet before I said, "I wasn't kidding. I came to see if you'd stay. There's a place for you here."

"They don't want me."

"Briar. It's like you didn't hear it right. Or maybe Trey said it wrong; I don't know. Like, you lied about some pretty big stuff, but if you tell us why, then it might be something we can fix. We do want you here. Hell, I wanted you in Alpha Tau even before you said anything about the LSAT."

"Cos I'm hot?" he mumbled against my shirt.

"Um. No? Well, maybe, but it wasn't a conscious thing. Also, that's a leading question, counselor."

"Casey, I don't want to be a lawyer, even. I never did."

"What? Oh, shit." Not that not being prelaw was a dealbreaker, but it was still a shock. "That's—that's not what I was expecting you to say."

"I know." He sniffed. "Why'd you want me in the fraternity?"

"Because you weren't Ethan. You are the anti-Ethan, and the world needs more anti-Ethans. And you were nice to Charlie, even when you were prickly as fuck to everyone else, and Squirrel likes you. You fit here. I know you think you don't, but you do."

He lifted his head. His eyeliner was smeared all to hell, and he looked like an angry raccoon, but he had the beginnings of a smile. "Are we sure Squirrel doesn't run this fraternity?"

"Jury's still out," I said.

Briar wrinkled his nose. "No more lawyer shit, please."

"That's fair."

"You say I fit, but I don't, do I? Because of the lawyer shit."

"Alpha Tau is prelaw," I said. "That's what we've always been, for over a century. But you're a good brother, Briar. You make us better."

He bit his lip. "Maybe."

"Definitely," I corrected.

He shook his head. "It's just such a mess."

"So we figure it out," I said. "Together."

He held my gaze. "Can we?"

I had no idea what I was promising because Briar still hadn't explained why he'd lied or even how far those lies went. But this was him asking for help, and it was huge. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I shot him down now.

"Yeah," I said, with a hell of a lot more conviction than I actually felt. "Of course we can."

He gave me a rueful smile. "It's gonna start with me apologizing to the chapter executive, isn't it? And then I guess I need to explain some shit."

I let out a long breath. At least Briar was willing to try to mend his fences instead of burning his bridges.

Wow. I really did suck at analogies, didn't I?

I rested my hand in the small of his back and held him, and he didn't pull away, his frame relaxing against me. "You know, it was Scout who sent me to get you," I said. "He said you're still a brother. So that's a good sign, right?"

Briar wrinkled his nose. "Maybe. Seems fake though, Scout being nice."

I snorted. "Yeah, he tries to hide it."

Briar stepped back, but he tangled his fingers in mine and drew me away from the wall. "Will you come with me and be my emotional support boyfriend?"

"I think the emotional support is implied with the boyfriend part," I said, while my heart tripped in my chest at Briar still calling me his boyfriend. Sure, this whole thing was a mess, but maybe it wasn't as hopeless as it looked.

We made our way downstairs hand in hand, and we stopped outside the door of the executive offices so Briar could take a deep breath.

"It'll be fine," he said, more to himself than me, and knocked.

Scout opened the door, his face impassive.

"Hey," Briar said.

Scout stared. Trey appeared at his shoulder and rolled his eyes, nudging Scout with his elbow. Scout cleared his throat and then said, "Hey, guys."

The doorbell rang.

I heard the squeak of the door opening, and someone said, "Hey. This Alpha Tau?"

Trey tilted his head, listening in as Knox answered, "Yeah? Can I help you?"

I was suddenly aware of Briar's sharp intake of breath and his sudden death grip on my hand as the gruff voice replied, "Yeah. I'm looking for my son, Brian."