Chapter 13

THIRTEEN

Briar and I didn't get too much shit for sneaking down to the basement that night, although I did wake up the next morning when Trey knocked on my door with a bucket, sponge, and a bottle of Clorox. I don't know what he thought had happened down there, but I saluted him, called him "prez" just to annoy him, and went and splashed some Clorox around in the basement to make him feel better.

Over the next few weeks, Briar and I got into a routine. Most importantly, so did Marty and me. We figured out a schedule of which nights he'd sleep over at Theta Phi with Dalton, and Briar could stay with me. It worked for the most part, just so long as I also sent Marty a text to remind him. He had about a million random tabs open in his brain at all times, so sometimes he missed stuff.

Archer started up an LSAT study group for anyone who was thinking of taking it in the next couple of months. We held it in the smaller of the downstairs living rooms. About a half dozen of us sat around with a bunch of practice tests, and Eli, Archer's boyfriend, rewarded correct answers with Twizzlers. Archer got kisses as well. Those two were cute as fuck. Briar said he wasn't interested in joining the study group, even though I pointed out that Eli came too—and Eli wasn't even prelaw. It wasn't really a huge deal. Hell, Briar had probably spent so long studying for it last year at his old school that he didn't ever want to look at it again. I felt the same way about Introduction to Applied Statistics. I'd somehow miraculously passed it in my first year, and now the plan was to avoid it for the rest of my college career. Possibly my life.

Briar hadn't joined any study groups that I knew of. But as Marty said when I mentioned it in passing, "Maybe he's study shy. Y'know, like pee shy, only with books. Can't perform if anyone's watching."

"I think that's just called ‘studies better alone.'"

Marty screwed his nose up. "That's exactly what I said."

I thought of how Briar liked to give me a show when he peeled down to his underwear, and the way he bossed me around in bed. Shy wasn't a word I'd use to describe him. But then again, when he'd first come to Alpha Tau, he'd barely had two words to say, and he'd been curled up like a porcupine under threat, all prickly and unapproachable. It was only recently he'd let me see his soft underbelly, but it was as though taking that first step in trusting me had loosened something in him. He smiled these days and talked to the other guys more, and one night in the living room when we were all watching a movie, he'd climbed over James Two and Archer just so he could plant himself on my lap. He wore pink-tinted lip gloss to a game of flag football and left a sticky kiss on my cheek when I scored a touchdown. Marty called him a cutie one time and lived to tell the tale.

I discovered that Briar's favorite comfort food was buttered noodles with garlic, and I learned how to make it the way he liked so it was ready for him every Thursday evening after his economics class—because he hated economics. We usually ate in the basement, away from the other guys and all the noise of a fraternity house at the end of the day.

"This is the first thing I learned to cook that wasn't a Hot Pocket," he said one evening, shoveling the noodles into his mouth. "I didn't have garlic on it back then though. Just noodles and butter."

"It 100 percent needs garlic though," I said. "And also possibly mushrooms. And tomatoes. And some sort of sauce."

"I think I was about ten," he said. "I didn't like garlic when I was ten."

"Wow, you learned to cook when you were ten? Such an overachiever!"

Briar snorted and twirled his fork in the bowl. "Shut up."

I leaned back in the old armchair. It was a squeeze to fit two of us when Briar wasn't on my lap, but we managed. "We should bring a TV down here, so we've got something to look at instead of these old photos."

He snorted again. "These old photos? When you were pledge master, you made us learn their names!" He put on a silly voice, which I think was supposed to be an impression of me. "‘This is your history now, pledges. To see where you're going, you have to know where you came from.'"

"I have no idea who that's supposed to be, but he sounds very wise."

"He's all right," Briar said around a mouthful of noodles. "He's a bit of a dick though."

"Lucky you like dicks."

That got a laugh out of him. "Lucky." He shoved his bowl aside. "Speaking of dicks, did I ever tell you about my old roommate from Harvey?"

"Nope," I said, keeping my voice soft.

Briar let out a breath, and it sounded as though he'd been holding it in for months. "His name was Gary. And he was okay at first. Like, I did the whole, ‘Hey, I'm Briar, and I'm gay, and I hope that's not an issue,' and he said he was cool with it. But it turned out I wasn't the right sort of gay or something. Because one day I wore this pink off-the-shoulder top to classes, and when I got back that afternoon, he'd gone through my stuff and tipped all my nail polishes onto my mattress and stamped my makeup into the rug." He shrugged. "It was like hundreds of dollars' worth of stuff. I'd had some of it since I was in junior high."

"What a fucking asshole," I said.

Briar darted a quick look at me and then glanced away again. "I'm just telling you because I guess you think, I don't know, that I had the shit kicked out of me in some hate crime. I didn't though."

"Just because it wasn't the worst thing that could happen, that doesn't mean it wasn't a bad thing." My chest hurt. "Is that when you moved?"

He laughed, but it wasn't a happy sound. "No. That was like a few months in. I had the rest of the year with him."

"What? As your roommate still?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't they move him?"

"I didn't have any proof it was him."

"Who the fuck else could it have been?"

He leaned against me and tucked his face into my side. "Yeah, that's what I said. But they just told me to make sure my stuff was secure in the future, like it was on me."

I couldn't imagine having to sleep in the same room, for months, with someone who'd done that. Not because of the makeup but because of what they might do next. Property damage one minute; a punch to the face the next.

"Did he do… anything else?" I asked.

Briar shrugged. "Annoying shit. A spilled drink on my pillow, my course notes mysteriously getting thrown in the trash, that kind of thing. Dumb little stuff that could be explained away as an accident, you know?"

A part of me wondered how many Garys there were at Harvey and how easy it might be to track him down. The other part of me reminded me I was going to be a lawyer, and revenge stalking would look bad on my record. "Well, I'm glad you moved to Lassiter."

"Me too."

This was why he hadn't trusted any of us at first, I guessed. Maybe Gary had seemed like a good guy in those early days too. It made me glad all over again that we'd gotten rid of Ethan and explained why Briar had been angry on Charlie's behalf—he'd probably expected history to repeat itself.

"Thanks for telling me," I said. Which when I said it out loud sounded lame, but Briar obviously knew what I meant—thanks for trusting me—because he lifted his head and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. He tasted of butter and garlic, and I could feel the curve of his smile against my lips.

I liked Briar's smile a lot more than his scowl, and I decided I was going to do everything I could to see it more often.

I wasin history when I got a text from Trey, but I didn't read it until I was out of class, because I wasn't enough of an idiot to look at my phone when Professor Stern was speaking. If he didn't spot you, his TA would. That guy had eyesight like the raptors in Jurassic Park, and he could smell fear.

"Hey, any thoughts on our next fundraiser?" Allison asked, almost knocking me out with her backpack when she swung it over her shoulder.

"Are you admitting defeat over the candy drive yet?"

"I'm admitting nothing," she said. "Besides, it was good for the children's hospital, and that's what counts."

"That's what I'd say if I'd lost too. Like, pretend to take the moral high road and all."

This time she did smack me with her backpack, and it wasn't an accident since she had to take it off to do it.

We were both laughing as we got outside, and then Allison left for her next class, and I stood in the breezeway and dug my phone out.

Hey. Can you come and see me about Briar? Fraternity business, so please don't mention it to him.

I didn't like the sound of that.

Sure. When?

I didn't like the sound of his answer much either.

As soon as you can.

My first thought was that someone had beef with me dating a guy who'd pledged under me and had put in a complaint to Trey, but I dismissed that almost immediately. We'd been dating for nearly a month, so if anyone had a problem with it, they were too late. Besides, I knew Trey would tell anyone who came to him with that bullshit to go fuck themselves. He'd tell them in very proper, presidential language, but they'd get the message. And then Scout would kneecap them in a dark alley when they were least expecting it, probably, just for bothering Trey. Well, that wasn't true. Scout would never do anything where he might get his clothes creased. He'd hire someone.

I hurried back to Alpha Tau, hands shoved into the pockets of my hoodie and the strings around my face pulled tight against the chill in the air. The hoodie smelled of Briar, since he'd been wearing it last night. Then, because he'd complained his hands were cold, he'd shoved them under my shirt and laughed when I yelped.

I had a knot in my gut as I climbed the porch steps at Alpha Tau. There was no way this was something good. Trey probably knew Briar still had classes for another hour. The fact he wanted to talk to me without Briar around wasn't a positive sign.

It wasn't just Trey waiting in the chapter executive office. It was Archer and Scout too.

"What's going on?" I asked uneasily, taking a seat as Scout closed and locked the door.

Trey leaned back against his desk. "Archer?"

Archer let out a breath. "So, did you know Briar's tanking his classes?"

"What?" That was impossible. "How the hell would you even know that?"

"Because Knox told me," Archer said. "He shares a bunch of classes with Briar, and he says Briar has flunked every pop quiz they've had so far. Knox tried to talk to him about it, but Briar was all, y'know, Briar about it."

"He told Knox to fuck off and leave him alone," Scout said.

Well, that sounded like Briar, except...

"Except that has to be bullshit," I said. "He's a good student. He had a 3.6 GPA from Harvey."

Trey opened the file on his desk, and I recognized it as Briar's application to join Alpha Tau. "Yeah, that's what he said."

"What does that mean?" I bristled.

Scout raised an eyebrow. "That means that Trey thinks he's full of shit. And so do I."

I shot a hard stare at Archer. He looked miserable. "And so do you?"

"I don't know," Archer said. "Casey, I like Briar. But he never gives a straight answer, you know?"

I wished I didn't.

"Maybe it's just taking him a while to settle in," I said. "Changing colleges is a lot to deal with. Why don't we wait and see how he does with midterms?"

You ever feel like you're standing up against a hurricane, and you're holding just an umbrella? And that motherfucker for sure is going to flatten you, but you try to stand your ground anyway? And it wasn't the other guys who were the hurricane. The hurricane was Briar and the lies he'd told me.

Trey settled against the edge of the desk, running one hand through his hair as he sighed. "I just want to talk to him about it. See if maybe he can straighten things out."

It was Trey's turn to lie. A little chat with a new member about slipping grades? Hell, I'd given a few of them before and had once been on the receiving end of one. But those little chats didn't take four of us in a locked office to set up. This was Trey laying the groundwork for some hard decision-making, something that went beyond the usual social probation and fines for typical fraternity infractions.

I almost felt sorry for him. It was his first year as president, and now he was having to balance his responsibility to the fraternity with his friendship with me as he considered the fate of my boyfriend. Add to that the inevitable accusations of discrimination he'd face if he kicked out someone as visibly different as Briar? No, I didn't envy him that at all.

"So, what do you want?" I asked. "You want him to log into his Harvey account while you're watching and download his transcript again?"

Trey didn't say anything.

Scout did. "Well, that would probably help us figure out if he's entirely full of shit or not, yes."

"You can't get him to do that," I said. "We have an academic standard, but we're a fraternity, not the fucking NSA. We don't have the right to demand a background check."

"We can't legally demand it," Trey agreed. "But we can ask."

I looked to Archer again. "And you're supporting this?"

Archer rubbed his face. "I think I am, yeah. Because nothing adds up about Briar."

"You don't know him like I do," I said, right before I realized I'd just quoted every seventeen-year-old girl who ever dated a boy in a leather jacket with a motorbike and an STD.

"We don't know him at all, Casey," Archer said gently. "That's why we're trying to figure out what the hell is going on here. I've tried to talk to him about his old college, and he shuts me down."

"Yeah, because he was treated like shit there."

"I've tried to talk to him about his family, and?—"

"Same fucking deal, Archer!" My shout echoed off the office walls as the three of them stared at me.

"So, who's paying his fraternity dues?" Scout asked. "This family that doesn't want him?"

"Maybe he's got student fucking loans, Scout," I snapped. "That's what people do when their parents aren't made out of money. You know, regular people. If you ever bothered to speak to one of them, you might learn something."

Scout just stared.

"Get the fuck out," Trey said. His voice didn't even change in tone. That made it scarier. "Get the fuck out, and don't come back until you're ready to apologize."

"Yeah. Y'all are acting real ugly right now, Casey," Archer said.

And I was. I knew I was, okay? Scout was super fucking generous, and he didn't flaunt his money or anything, not purposely. And he was plenty aware that college was expensive as hell. He'd secretly paid Charlie's fraternity dues, for fuck's sake. He'd only rubbed me up the wrong way because he wanted the same answers from Briar that I did, and it hurt to hear someone else saying out loud what I suspected already—that Briar was lying and had been all along.

And Scout didn't even know about the text from Alan.

"Scout, man, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." I stood and extended a hand toward him.

He didn't take it.

I might have been ready to apologize like Trey wanted, but he wasn't ready to hear it yet. And that was fair because I'd been a complete asshole to him just now.

Archer stood up quickly. "Casey, let's go grab a soda."

"Yeah," I said, still looking at Scout. "Okay, let's do that."

I don't think I even saw Scout blink as Archer and I left the room.

In the kitchen,Knox grabbed the sandwich he was eating and bolted, so I guessed he'd figured out what meeting I'd just been to. I wanted to be pissed at him for telling Archer that Briar was tanking his classes, but none of this was Knox's fault. Besides, I still believed that stuff I told the pledges about how brothers looked out for each other. I could hardly hate Knox for looking out for Briar, right?

Archer grabbed a Coke from the refrigerator, handing it to me. Then he took one for himself and cracked it open. "Are you okay?"

I rolled the cold can against my forehead. "Nope."

"It's not like you to lose your shit," Archer said.

"I felt like I was blindsided in there," I said, my stomach twisting. "But the worst part is, it's nothing I haven't thought of myself. He lies. I know he does. But—but I don't think he's a bad guy, Archer."

"I don't think he is either. But something's going on, and it's our job to figure it out, right?"

"Right," I said numbly.

Archer squeezed my shoulder and didn't say anything else. What was there to add?

I hated how I felt that everything between me and Briar was about to come crumbling down. How certain I was that whatever happened next was going to force me to look back and realize I'd built everything up in my head, when really there was just nothing. I didn't want to believe it—I didn't want it to be true—but I felt like I was that guy in that old horror movie who was driving behind the log truck. I was strapped in, and there was no fucking dodging it.

I finished my Coke and crushed the can in my hand. "I gotta apologize to Scout, bro."

"Yeah," Archer said. "You really do."

I left Archer finishing his Coke and went back to the chapter executive office.

Scout was leaning against the wall like he didn't give a shit about anything, all casual. I knew him well enough to see through his bullshit.

"Hey," I said, feeling like the biggest asshole in the world. "I'm sorry about before. It was a shitty thing to say."

He pressed his mouth into a thin line and arched a brow.

"You're a decent human being and a nice guy even if you try to hide it. I was the asshole, and I really am sorry."

Scout narrowed his eyes at me. There was a moment's silence, and then he muttered, "Okay. We're good, bro."

He extended his hand for an awkward fist bump, and I let out a relieved breath as our knuckles knocked together. Scout could hold a grudge like a world champion when he chose to, but it looked like he'd decided to let me off easy just this once.

There was a knock at the door, and Archer poked his head inside. "Briar's back from classes. You want me to bring him in?"

Trey rolled his shoulders, let out a long breath, and sat behind the desk. "Yeah," he said. "Let's get this over with." He sounded like a man about to order an execution.

And I felt like a man about to witness one.