Chapter 30

30

KILLIAN

I watch as Charlotte makes her way along the narrow winding path, still needing to make sure she gets back safely, before walking slowly around the side of the palace, enjoying the cold evening air.

I don't deserve her.

She thinks I'm a coward because I'm not staying here to help secure a better future for all of the packs under the crown's rule.

And maybe she's right.

I'm trying to do right by everybody, but when it comes to my mate, I'm caught between a rock and a hard place.

She doesn't understand that, though, and I admire her for being more concerned about the good of the people than about what's happening between us.

She's not interested in the lifestyle, but the duty, the public service... that may be a different story.

I know she doesn't want to live in this palace any more than I do. Or, not in its current guise, where it's nothing more than a beautifully decorated cage. But like she said, the blood flowing through my veins, and the power it gives me, is a privilege.

Charlotte has been given the opportunity to do good with the resources at our disposal, and she's willing to sacrifice what she wants in order to do that. It doesn't sound very romantic, but I can feel the pull between us, and how it strengthens every day.

Getting to live a blissfully happy life with your fated mate would be the cherry on top.

All I want is her. I'm making sacrifices too, giving up my happiness now, for a better shot at a future together, so I can return to Ireland and take care of my responsibilities there. But Charlotte doesn't see that, and how could she? We're not fully bonded, she can't read my mind, and I'm not in a position to tell her anything yet.

Being noble doesn't make me feel any better, though as I walk, the stillness of the night air is jarring in comparison to the chaos raging inside my head. My mind swims with what ifs, plans for what I should do next, and how I can fix things.

My shoulders slump.

Nothing I do is right, and everything I attempt just seems to drive more of a wedge between us.

Briefly, I consider going after her. Maybe if I just tell her why I need to go back to Ireland, she'll understand.

But then, she'll want to go with me, and I won't take that chance. And let's not forget, the palace has eyes and ears. Everyone will want to know why, and they'll at least suspect the real reason, and my ailing father will get dragged back into all of this craziness again.

He's been through enough. Home for him is Ireland now, close to his mate's grave, where he can live out his final days in peace. He's weak, and while the twins are taking good care of him at home, they're a feckless bunch, and prone to boredom. Who knows what they're up to with nobody to talk any sense into them.

Before he goes, I want to be able to assure him I fulfilled his promise, that his family is safe, and that his people are back in good hands.

I can't do that if I drag the circus that will inevitably follow the discovery that the king is still alive back to his doorstep.

No, that's something I need to keep to myself, at least for now. Keeping a secret like that is an unfair burden to put onto someone else.

With a weary sigh, I shove my hands deep into my pockets and kick the stones on the gravel path ahead of me.

They skitter across the concrete, the tiny noise breaking the vast silence of the empty grounds around me. This place is too big, it echoes with the memories and the ghosts of those who've gone before.

It's a weight I'm not sure I'm strong enough to carry.

Without realising it, I've made my way to the destroyed wing. I stare up at the blackened walls and empty windows. The fire must have been terrifying.

I can't even imagine what my relatives went through during that period, fearing for their lives, yet still bound by a duty to serve the people. Being picked off, one by one, by cowards too afraid to challenge them with honour.

My father stayed longer than he should have, and ultimately, he paid the price for that.

We all have, but I'm determined to make this place somewhere that belongs to the people again, instead of these rich elitist fools that think nobody knows what they're up to.

I'm the only one with the power to command them and the packs to put things right, and so I'll do what I must. If they can endure this, I can do more.

Feeling my resolve strengthen, I decide the pity parade is over. This is what I must do, and hopefully, the goddess will reward me with finding a way back to Charlotte, before she moves on with another.

Behind me, I hear a faint rustle and light footsteps. I'm about to ask who's there when a whisper of Charlotte's scent tickles my nose, barely distinguishable above the heavy, cloying smell of burnt wood and lingering smoke. It looks like I'm not the only one feeling bad about our argument.

"I don't want to fight with you. If we only have a short time together, I want to make it special." It's easier to speak to her when I don't have to look into those expressive green eyes. "I can't stay here, and I can't tell you why, but I'm asking that you trust me that I'll come back."

The last words have barely left my mouth when I hear the whip of something moving quickly through the air, and then I fall to my knees, confused momentarily, about how I got here.

A blinding pain sends stars dancing in front of my eyes as something heavy cracks down on the back of my skull. The gravel bites into my palms as the ground suddenly fills my vision. The stone is cold under my cheek, and I growl, as someone rolls me over roughly.

"What the fuck?"

Staring up into the darkness, I'm unable to twist away from their grip. I can't move. Above me, I see nothing but a black hooded shadow, framed by the pale silvery moonlight peeking through the clouds above.

"You're dead," I whisper, words slurred as my wolf rallies, and I manage to get an elbow underneath me.

But then another whistle, and I feel a sharp slice to the side of my face, whipping my head backward, hard. I feel the warmth of my blood dripping down my chin before the wound even starts to sting.

With narrowed eyes, I take another sniff, Charlotte's scent strong, as I stare at the black boots standing by my head.

That's all I remember before everything goes black.