Chapter 29

29

KILLIAN

C harlotte freezes as she realises she's given away just how much she really cares in front of her colleagues. It's one thing to act like we're a couple in front of everyone else, but my security detail all thinks this is an act.

"And I, for one, don't want to take the blame for you being taken out on my watch, sir," she adds, taking a step back and composing herself once more.

I'm so impressed with Charlotte. She really has excellent control of her physical reactions to me. The pull of the bond is hard to fight, and yet outwardly, she looks like she's at ease.

"This way, we kill two birds with one stone. We get to find out just how rotten the council is, and hopefully, get enough leverage to parcel out their control to newly established committees that the packs vote for, while at the same time, the most dangerous will come for me and reveal themselves." Blowing out a sign of relief, I add, "And then, I can get back to normal."

Charlotte looks at me strangely, and takes another step back, eyes wide.

I feel the distance like a slap in the face. When I look at her quizzically, she glances away, a far off look in her mesmerising eyes.

"Zane, can you reach out to the other head alpha's and get a steer on the suspected unethical behaviours I can expect to hear from the council members over the next week? It would be useful to get a heads up on exactly what they've been up to."

The alphas under their charge are not stupid. If the council has been abusing its position, the alphas will have something to say about it.

"And look for any cases where wolves have been punished for challenging them or speaking up against them."

I'm about to request Charlotte accompany me back to my room when she clears her throat and turns to Zane.

"Sir, permission to go for a run? I could do with letting off some steam after that encounter with my mother."

Zane grimaces sympathetically and nods. "Go. We have a day of pack visits planned, so you're going to need your beauty sleep." He points at me. "You, too. After kicking the hornet's nest like that, I don't think you'll be getting any peace for the rest of the week."

I expect not.

It might have been a rash decision, but all I could think of was needing to draw out any threat as fast as possible, and to get them to focus entirely on me.

Yet something I've said or done has Charlotte pulling away.

She nods stiffly at me before striding off down the corridor, her long, silk dress billowing behind her as she walks.

I can't tear my eyes away.

She's magnetic.

Theo clears his throat, and reluctantly, I drag my focus back to the three men standing in a semicircle around me.

"I think that, if we're assuming the palace walls have eyes and ears, and you're supposed to be dating Charlotte, it would be totally normal to join her. In fact, I think going your separate ways for the rest of the evening would be odd." Theo's eyes dance with mischief, but his deadpan expression gives nothing away. "Even if she does appear to have gone off on you."

He obviously thinks I've developed a crush on my bodyguard… little does he know it's a bit more than that.

"I agree." Zane's serious face would make you think we were talking about finding the people behind my father's attack, not how I can spend more time with the woman I'm pining for. "And maybe, if the rest of us were busy mapping out the security plans for the ball, we could be close by, but still give you some privacy."

Grateful for their support, I shake their hands and head to the rear entrance, where all I find of my mate is her dress hanging on a hook in the mudroom, and a pair of heels kicked into the corner.

As I strip off, Ryker, my near constant shadow, looks mildly appalled.

"You don't think I should follow her?" I ask, aware that this probably crosses many professional boundaries. If she weren't my mate, I'd agree.

"I think that there are any number of women delighted to be seen on your arm. Why pursue the one that isn't?"

It's a valid question, but he's already answered it himself.

"Because they only want a man like me for what I can give them: money, power, prestige." As I fold my clothes and feel my wolf brushing up against my skin from the inside, I relax, knowing this is exactly what we both need. Charlotte might try to hide her emotions from me, but her wolf won't. Can't. "Charlotte doesn't want any of those things. In fact, she actively rejects them. Which means, I know her feelings, whatever they might be, are genuine."

Ryker looks unconvinced. "Zane said to give you some privacy, but I'm not leaving you alone. It's just too risky. So, I'll be out there if you need me… not listening, or watching..."

Laughing, I give him my thanks before pushing the door open and stepping out into the crisp night air. My wolf takes control, and I allow the shift to happen, my bones rearranging and fur appearing before my front paws even hit the ground.

Sucking in a deep lungful of air, my wolf's mind goes still. All the fretting about where she is and why she's gone cold vanishes.

He's picked up her scent, and he's going to enjoy tracking her down.

Faster and faster, we travel across the damp earth. This feels so right, being out here in wolf form, with Charlotte close by. All of it apart from my mate being furious with me, that is. I'm almost enjoying myself as I leap over a downed tree and come face to face with a very angry she-wolf.

Slowing to a trot, I approach cautiously. The fur on the back of her neck is raised, and she's not one bit happy to see me out here.

My wolf is desperate to connect with her, but as he approaches, she starts to growl. That won't do at all.

While I understand that my position means nothing between the two of us, my wolf has other ideas. He's used to all the supernatural beings we encounter recognising his strength and submitting.

Charlotte's wolf is doing no such thing.

I go to nuzzle her neck, but she bares her teeth, and that's enough to set him off.

He spins around and grabs hold of the thick fur on her shoulders, toppling both of us over onto the ground. Pinned down beneath him, Charlotte continues to growl, though less aggressively than before.

I hate this.

As I climb off her wolf, I shift back, human again by the time Charlotte picks herself up and spins around.

"Shift, so we can talk," I order, despite knowing that as my mate, she's immune and doesn't have to listen to a word I say.

Her eyes flash in displeasure at my bossy tone, but I don't care right now. The seconds tick by, and at first, I think she's going to take off again. She's definitely considering it. But then, after she's made her point that it's by choice and not because of my command, she lets the magic happen. Her gorgeous wolf is replaced by my mate, naked and stunning, her long, dark hair hanging down in soft waves to cover her breasts.

I close my eyes, fighting the urge to rush at her and take her in my arms. We have things to sort out first.

Any hope I have that seeing me like this will soften her toward me evaporates when she steps forward, her curvy hips swaying in the most tantalising way, all creamy skin and toned limbs, and glares at me.

"What are you doing out here? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

I step closer, but she narrows her eyes.

"You're upset with me about something."

Charlotte's face goes bright red, and she balls her hands into fists. "Go back to the palace. It's not safe for you to be out here."

Shaking my head, I close the distance between us, ignoring the anger that's shooting across our fledgling bond toward me. If I was a lesser wolf, it would be enough to keep me away. My mate is strong and brave, perfect for me. And I'm not going to let her hide her feelings from me.

"Tell me what you're so pissed off about."

My confusion seems to make her even more furious, and she throws her hands up in the air.

"You! You're Mr. Duty and public service, here to uncover all the shit the council has been able to get away with for years. And because it's you, it'll work, and you'll be getting money back for the packs, building hospitals, and making sure the council can't abuse their power any more…"

She sighs and turns away, hands on her hips, giving me a devastating view of her backside that makes me want to fall to my knees and take a bite out of it.

Focus, Killian, focus.

"And that makes you hate me? What, Charlotte, what did I do? Just tell me!"

She spins around and pokes me in the chest, hard. "Because you're still leaving! After all that you just said, you're just going to hand it off to some committee and hope that the same thing doesn't happen again?"

I step back, stunned by the force of the hurt and disappointment that blasts down the bond toward me. Her pain cleaves me apart, and I can barely stand under the weight of it.

"You're going to do this amazing thing, proving that you're a good man, the best man I've ever met, and then you're going to toss all of us aside and disappear, like we mean nothing? Like, well, that's great, job done, I'm out of here?"

Her bottom lip quivers, but she's so stubborn, so she's not going to let herself cry. At least, not in front of me.

"Charlotte, it's not that simple." I need her to understand that it's not her I'm leaving. Fuck, if I could, I'd grab her right now and mark her as mine, tying her to me for the rest of our lives.

"It seems pretty simple to me." Her laugh is dark, and she hangs her head, all the fight evaporating from her now that she's admitted what's bothering her.

"I can't stay," I say firmly.

Charlotte shakes her head and looks at me sadly. "Then you're a fucking coward, Killian Kennedy."

My wolf doesn't like that. A low, warning growl starts to build in my chest, but Charlotte either doesn't hear or doesn't care.

She's not finished giving me a piece of her mind.

"You think showing up and using your royal blood to get rid of some bad eggs is the hard part? It isn't. It's the slog that comes after, the work it takes to make sure what replaces it is better. You're the best hope of rebuilding everyone's trust, but now you're going to, what, just run away?"

I go to speak, but she holds her hand up. Charlotte won't listen to me. She thinks I'm just leaving because I don't want the responsibility. If that were the case, I could have stayed in Ireland, continued living my quiet life, and ignored whatever was going on here. But I didn't. I came back.

But that doesn't mean I have nothing left in Ireland that I need to take care of.

"You said you don't want me. That you don't want this life. You were going to reject me! But now what? You're getting pissy with me because you've changed your mind?"

I'm getting defensive and nasty, because I feel so guilty for putting her through this in the first place. Finding your mate should be joyous. The first time you see each other naked shouldn't be during a fight.

Folding her arms over her chest to cover herself, she growls. "You changed my mind, you jackass! And getting to know you has changed my mind. I don't want a life that's all about dull parties, and who's got the biggest trust fund. But I see the good that you can do, and I can see… I can see myself at your side, helping you."

Completely floored, I stare at her, those green eyes glinting in the moonlight, before she looks down and hides them from me, embarrassed at her revealing outburst.

"It's a privilege, not a duty, to take on that role. And you're just going to walk away from it."

Her disappointment in me is crushing. Chin down, she whispers the words that break my heart into pieces.

"Is there someone else? A woman in Ireland. Is that why you need to go back?"

Fuck.

"There's no other woman." I keep my voice as calm and even as I can, when I feel like screaming.

She nods, relieved, but then shakes her head, shoving past me, her head down. "I can't do this." Charlotte looks so defeated as she begins the walk back to the palace. She would be my queen, except I can't ask her to do that.

Not yet.

"Charlotte, don't go. Not like this." My voice is barely a whisper, but I know she hears me, because she stops, for just a second, waiting for me to say something that's enough to make her want to stay.

But I can't.

All I can do is watch her leave.