Chapter 18: Aria

Chapter 18: Aria

There wasn’t much I could do that day besides rest. While Lucas tended to pack matters, I was made cozy in his bed, bundled up in the blankets saturated with his smell and sinking into his pillows, closing my eyes to sleep that took me all too quickly. The next time I woke, it was dark out, and Lucas was carefully climbing into the bed beside me. My body jolted with surprise at the thought of another person’s body heat against me.

“Go back to sleep,” he said softly behind my ear. “I won’t touch you or anything during the night. I’m only here to make sure you’re okay.”

Still hazy with sleep, I hummed and immediately drifted back into unconsciousness.

My first night sharing a bed with Lucas wasn’t thrilling or sexy or anything like that. It was exactly as he promised: a reassuring, quiet night in which I felt safer than I ever had sleeping alone.

In the morning, Lucas was already up. I sluggishly got dressed and joined him in the kitchen for breakfast, this time a large omelette overflowing with cheese, bell peppers, and spinach, and a side of bacon and hash browns. “You’ll join us in decorating the community hall for the Perseids Celebration, right?” he asked between bites.

The offer caught me off guard. “I didn’t know you wanted me to do that. Sorry. Yes. Just tell me how you’d like it done.”

Lucas laughed. “Don’t treat it like a job. I want you to have fun.”

It sounded a lot like he already had expectations of me to earn my keep. Not that I was part of his pack or anything, but while I was healing here, it made sense to put me to work. But this was only for fun? “Okay,” I said reluctantly.

When we got to the community hall—a large brick building with a clean little lobby, a cafeteria, and the massive gymnasium we would be decorating—twelve packmates of the Silent Shadows Pack were already there, including Esther. As soon as she saw me, she smiled and swept toward us, reaching for my arm. “Aria! I’m so glad you’re here! How are you feeling?”

“I’m… fine.”

Esther beamed at me. “I was hoping you’d join us. Come on; the tables are already set up. We need to put on the tablecloths and decorate them.”

As she tugged me away, I glanced back at Lucas with a flash of worry. He only nodded, encouraging me to join her.

So I worked alongside Esther, fitting the stretched tablecloths over the tables until they were sleek black shadows of themselves. I expected her packmates to snarl and criticize me, but they only smiled, praising Esther and me for how good the tables looked. “Thanks for helping us,” said someone. “You have a real eye for this!”

Their kindness was a huge difference from what I would have experienced with my own pack. A job like this would have been thankless. I still anticipated hearing a backhanded comment under somebody’s breath. But there was only positivity suffusing the gymnasium as everyone welcomed me alongside them, making decorating the hall less of a job and more of a group bonding activity. Laughter filled the air, and a lightness occupied my body that made me feel like I was enjoying this.

After stepping off a ladder from hanging up blue and yellow streamers, a clattering at the door brought my attention to Lucas and Scott hauling a tall metal arch into the gymnasium. They positioned it just outside of the door, and I noticed there was a matching one on the other side of the door. Gingerly gravitating toward the door, I waited until Lucas stepped back and caught his eye, my curiosity unspoken.

“Hey, you’re just the woman I need! We usually set up two balloon arches on either side of the doorway into the hall. I have a photo of exactly how it needs to look, and we have all the balloons,” said Lucas, gesturing to a row of plastic tubs overflowing with shiny, bulbous, and colourful balloons. “I just need someone to help me tie them onto the arches. So?”

Doubt made me hesitate.

“Don’t tell me balloon arches aren’t in your repertoire of event planning,” teased Lucas.

“They aren’t,” I admitted. “But… they can’t be that hard, can they?”

Lucas brightened up. “That’s what I like to hear. Come on.”

While everyone else remained in the gymnasium, Lucas and I got to work just outside. He kept a printout of the balloon arch taped to the wall for us to reference. I knelt down and tied each balloon as he handed it to me, gradually forgetting my miseries in place of attention to detail. It was easy to lose myself in the project, making sure that each balloon was perfectly positioned according to the photo. As we reached the top of the arch, I strained on my tippy toes and couldn’t reach the metal bar. “Here,” said Lucas. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me.

I couldn’t help the yelp of laughter as my feet left the floor. “Lucas—wait!”

“What’s wrong? Can’t you reach now?”

Losing my sense of balance, I wobbled in the air before realizing my hand was wrapped tight around his forearm. With a slow exhale, I let go of his arm and tied the balloon in place.

“Perfect.” His voice reverberated deeply just behind my back and pulsed all through me. I was glad I was up in the air and facing away from him, or else he’d see how flushed he made me. Then again, he probably knew by now the effect he had on me.

By late afternoon, the gymnasium was fully decorated. I stepped through it and admired all the work we had put into the room. The blue and yellow streamers were scrawled along the walls, and paper lanterns of the same colours hung from the ceiling. The tables were adorned with unlit candles, and a banner was strung between the walls, hand-painted in silver by the pack’s youngest members to read ‘PERSEIDS CELEBRATION. HOWL AT THE FALLING STARS!’ The balloon arches were adorned in blue, yellow, and silver, and special foil balloons of stars nestled among them. Star-shaped LED lamps comprised the vibrant centerpieces on the table, and a couple of photo stations were set up along the walls. Fairy lights were strung along the tables and walls too.

“It doesn’t look like much in the daylight, but in the late evening, when everybody comes here to start the celebration tomorrow, it’ll look beautiful,” said Esther. “Everything will be lit up. The little lights will glow like stars. I can’t wait for you to see it!”

It warmed my heart to imagine being part of their celebration. Everybody acted like I was already a part of it. Did they truly want me to be here with them?

I realized then that I never really knew what it felt like to be wanted by my packmates. Not in the way the Silent Shadows Pack wanted me to be with them.

Lucas put his hand on my shoulder. “I have to meet with the Alpha of the Crescent Moon Pack now, but I shouldn’t be long. Scott will take you back to my place.”

“Okay, sure.”

“I’ll bring home some moose for dinner. How’s that sound?”

My eyes widened. “I can’t even remember the last time I had moose.”

They were huge animals and produced a lot of meat, yes, but because of their value, it was agreed among the wolf shifters that we were only allowed to hunt one every month. And usually, the meat from that hunt had gone to Oswald and the higher-ranked shifter families. Even my parents and sisters dined on it, but I never got to.

Lucas grinned. “Better save your appetite, then.”

Everyone was eager to say goodbye to me, promising to see me or talk to me later before Scott and I set off back to Lucas’ home. We made easy conversation on the way, lulling me into a sense of comfort and security after a nice day with the Silent Shadows Pack.

“You seem to have a flair for decorating,” said Scott.

“Yeah. I was pretty heavily involved in the planning for my mating ceremony.”

“With Oswald?”

I gulped. “Yeah…”

“I bet it looked beautiful,” said Scott. “That asshole probably didn’t even appreciate it.”

A strange satisfaction flickered in me, but I didn’t say anything.

“Lucas usually takes charge of events on his own,” Scott continued. “But I saw the way he looked at you while you two were working on the balloon arches. He admires you, I think.”

My heart raced. “Really?”

“You bring a lot to the table! He likes that you’re willing to get involved.”

“I want to be involved,” I said. “Being productive and helpful… it feels like that’s my purpose.”

“Almost like you were always meant to be an Alpha Female,” joked Scott.

The notion nearly made me smile if not for the imminent sadness that struck me after. But he was right. I felt like I’d always been destined to serve my pack in that way, as their Alpha Female. I lived my entire life believing it. When it was ripped away from me, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Being useful to the Silent Shadows Pack reminded me of how it felt to do what I was destined to do.

When we arrived at Lucas’ house, Scott unlocked the door and didn’t follow me inside. “I have to patrol the borders now, but Lucas should be home soon.”

“Okay. Thanks for walking with me.”

Scott smiled. “Any time, Aria. See you!”

After he left, I spent the next hour reflecting on the day like I was walking through a dream. I showered, thinking over and over again about every interaction I had, searching for some subliminal nastiness I hadn’t detected before, trying to burst the happiness I’d made for myself to prove that I was just being foolish. I didn’t want to trick myself into thinking everything was perfect here, knowing I would inevitably fuck things up. But no matter how hard I tried to find the flaws in the Silent Shadows Pack, I couldn’t think of a single unpleasant experience. The day was perfect.

Then Lucas’ voice came drifting in through the open window of his bedroom. I was drying my hair with a towel when I heard him talking to someone. Anxiety pulled me toward the window, where I peeked out and saw him standing with Esther, holding a plastic bag in one hand and a small bouquet of flowers in the other.

“Of course, I think she’ll like it,” said Esther. “I’m just saying you need to temper your expectations.”

“But she’s showing clear signs of recovery,” argued Lucas.

“Yes, but even if she recovers physically, there’s a chance Aria will never be the same… emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. Wolf shifters who’ve been abused by their pack to the degree that she was often die, especially those as young as her. It causes such immense emotional damage that the grief can’t be overcome. She’ll live with the memories of her pack’s abuse forever, and… she may take drastic measures to relieve that pain. Even if she doesn’t, she might be miserable for the rest of her life.”

Lucas growled. “Haven’t I made it clear I’m willing to do whatever it takes to help her?”

“That may be so, but depression is a wound on the heart that not everyone can heal from. Not everyone’s heart is strong enough.”

“Hers is. I know it.”

Esther sighed, folding her arms. Her gaze traveled up to the window. I gasped and hid myself against the wall, my mind scrambling to comprehend what I was hearing.

“You said that only she can make the changes to heal herself fully. What if I can convince her to join our pack?”

“It would be a start. Replacing her memories of her abusive pack with memories of kinder, more loving packmates…”

“Then I’ll convince her after the meeting,” decided Lucas.

There was a pause, then Esther’s voice softened. “I hope you can.”

I didn’t hear the rest of their exchange before the front door opened. Quickly closing the window, I tossed the towel into the laundry basket and began brushing my hair, feigning ignorance despite the conversation burning in my mind. Lucas was willing to do whatever it took to help me recover. It should have made me feel happy, but it only weighed on me. What if I wasn’t strong enough to overcome this?

The bedroom door opened. “Hey,” greeted Lucas, smiling at me like the conversation with Esther had never happened. “So, there was a small change of plans. The other Alphas and I have called an impromptu strategy meeting about those Rogues. But because of your experience with them, I wanted you to be there to give your input. Is that okay?”

I blinked in surprise at him. “I’ll help in any way I can.”

“It shouldn’t take long. We’ll have dinner after,” said Lucas, leading me back downstairs. As we walked past the dining area, I noticed he had set the flowers in a vase between two plates. Lucas said nothing of it—maybe he was hoping I wouldn’t notice—but that lingered in my mind too. It almost looked like he’d been setting up a romantic evening for us.

We barely made it out the door before Scott appeared, panting. “Wait, Lucas! Sorry to interrupt, but uh…” He put his hands on his knees and caught his breath. “Sorry. I ran all the way here from the borders.”

Lucas chuckled behind his lips. “What is it? Aria and I were just going to meet with the other Alphas.”

“About that…” Scott wiped the sweat off his brow and straightened up. His usual smile was gone in place of serious worry. “Oswald has arrived, but… he’s not here for the meeting. He brought some of his pack.” Scott’s eyes shifted to me. “They want to talk to you, Aria.”

Oswald’s name plunged my heart into my chest with dread.

Of course, this day was too good to be true.

I should have known that my past would never be far behind me.