Chapter 16: Aria

Chapter 16: Aria

Death stalked me like a vulture, waiting for my willpower to fade away. But I couldn’t give up. Each step forward was one step closer to sanctuary.

For three days, I dragged myself through the forest, following the scent of the only person I could feel safe with. If not for my wounds, I would have gotten there by nightfall the day of the attack. But I was losing too much blood. I was too tired. It was too difficult to walk for very long, so I had to stop and rest every couple of hours, and my exhaustion was so intense that I couldn’t resist sleep. I would drift unconscious and then wake again with the sun halfway across the sky, as if my body protested the very act of travel, begging me to recover. I had no choice. Those three days, I held my breath at every sound, stared long into the darkness, and waited for the rogues to show their faces. They never did. It was a miracle I survived.

Finally, I hit the scent markers of the Silent Shadows Pack. Breathing in the hearty, comforting scent of Lucas Black, I collapsed in the grass and just relished it. I made it. All I had to do was get to the village, but it was so hard to keep my eyes open. Dried blood was packed into my wounds, which stung with the threat of infection, and my bones resonated with an ache I couldn’t resolve. My body was getting ready to give up, but I couldn’t. Not when I was so close…

My eyelids sunk shut. Sprawled out in the grass, I took a great breath in, Lucas’ smell lingering on the tip of my tongue. Then, as the breath hissed out of my lungs, I felt myself drift away.

If I never woke up again, it would be no great loss to anyone. I’d failed my family and my pack. I would only fail Lucas, too. Maybe it was better for everyone if I just gave up here.

A wet nose nudged against mine.

“Hello? Can you hear me?” A voice ebbed into my ears, sounding a million miles away like it had come from a dream. “Please get up. I can help you. I just need you to wake up.”

Despite my body screaming in protest, I urged myself back to life, groggily fluttering my eyelids open. The dark forest ahead of me inched back into focus, and with it, the body of a wolf crouched in front of me. Alarm bells went off, and a gasp stuck in my throat as I reeled away from the stranger. They could be a rogue trying to kill me. Or one of my packmates trying to sabotage me. My will to live might have weakened, but my instincts remained as strong as ever. Without thinking, my first reflex was to protect myself, and the stranger recognized that. Guilt crossed his face as he backed away, giving me space.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you!”

My ears pinned back, my body feeling heavier by the second. It was difficult to hold myself up. All the pain that bogged me down came filtering back in the longer I was conscious.

“You’re Aria Gunn, right?”

He knew my name and recognized me, but it was clear he wasn’t from my pack. I inhaled his scent and found it matched the Silent Shadows Pack. Even more, interestingly, it almost reminded me of Lucas. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded.

The wolf’s expression softened, pleased to have identified me, only to shift back into concern. “You’re hurt. What happened? Are you okay?”

My mouth hung open. My throat was so dry that the words struggled to escape. “We were attacked.”

“Attacked?” His eyes widened. “Who’s we? Who attacked you?”

“My pack. We were running together when a swarm of Rogues ambushed us from the trees,” I explained weakly. “They were relentless. There was so much blood…” My voice trailed off as I recalled a vision of the attack. Gnashing teeth and gleaming eyes. Sheer bloodlust. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced, even the few Rogue attacks I’d endured before. Something about this attack was far more violent, feral, and horrifying. Maybe it was the magnitude of the bloodshed. The rampage had shaken me to my very core.

“What happened to your pack?” The other wolf sought my gaze.

I snapped back to attention, heaving myself to my feet with a sigh. “They fled. I don’t know if they’re okay.”

“So, how did you end up here, then?”

“I…” Was I the coward for running away instead of going back to the villa? Guilt gnawed at my heart. “I was still fighting when they all ran.”

His eyes widened in a flash of anger. “And they just left you?!”

That was what happened, wasn’t it? Yet still, I felt like I was in the wrong. I nodded.

“Oh, Lucas is not going to be happy,” said the other wolf. He shook his head, snorted, and then seeing me falter, quickly came to my side. “I’m taking you back to him right now.”

I tensed at his touch, refusing to allow physical contact because of my touch starvation. The sensation became alien to me. The only person I wanted anywhere close to me was Lucas, and even then, I wasn’t sure it was responsible for me to want. “Wait. Just who are you?”

The wolf blinked at me, taken aback. “I’m Scott Black. Lucas’ younger brother.”

So that was why he shared Lucas’ scent. “Can I… trust you?”

Admittedly, it was kind of a stupid question to ask. A liar and an honest person would both say the same thing. All Scott did was smile reassuringly at me, offering his shoulder for me to lean on. “I’d never harm someone that Lucas holds dear.”

The words tightened my chest. Lucas must have made it pretty obvious to everyone around him that he was fond of me, but I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to live up to their expectations.

Accepting Scott’s gesture, I gingerly leaned against him, using his shoulder for support as we walked deeper into the Silent Shadows’ territory. The sun was already sinking into the horizon, sapping warmth from the humid air and leaving it with an icy chill instead. Long shadows stretched from the trees, reaching toward the village. I nearly winced when I escaped the darkness and hit the last beams of sunlight. As we took to the main road, I realized that everyone had stopped to stare at me, watching in concern and curiosity. At first, it reminded me that I was an outsider. I didn’t really belong here. But they didn’t gawk at me as my own pack would have. They murmured, but I caught whispers of their words:

“Oh my, I hope she’s alright.”

“I wonder what did that to her?”

“She looks tired. I hope she came here to rest.”

I avoided their eyes, but their judgment didn’t burn me like I expected it to. Historically, being the center of attention never ended well for me.

We’d barely reached the walkway up to Lucas’ house when the door flung open, and the Silent Shadows Alpha burst outside. “Aria, there you are!”

Still in my wolf form, I shrank and tucked my tail between my legs, unsure of what to expect. Lucas gave me no time to acclimate to his company. He scooped me up, carrying my body back to his house in his arms.

Once inside, he laid me on a blanket and whipped out his cell phone. “Esther, are you busy? I need you to come to my place right away. Bring some clothes.” Then he looked to Scott, who was already transforming. “Where did you find her?”

Scott was all too quickly on his hands and knees, sitting up and breathing hard in the aftermath of his transformation. “On the eastern borders. She was unconscious.”

Lucas handed him some clothes, then turned his attention back to me, lightly rubbing the spot between my hunched shoulders. “You came here,” he said softly, surprised that I’d seek refuge in his territory. “After I heard about the attack, I went to your pack’s territory to check on you, but you weren’t there. Your scent was lost in the carnage. I was so worried the Rogues had taken you.”

Listening to him talk was like a dream. I was so exhausted I wasn’t sure if I was even truly there or just hallucinating in my final hours before death. Lucas spoke so gently to me, the cadence of his voice tinged with worry that was so genuine, so tender, it should have been reserved for somebody more special than me. This was the tone of voice one would use with their own mate. We were barely more than acquaintances. And yet he doted on me, bending down to kiss my temple and hold me close while fatigue drained the life out of me. He comforted me while we waited for Esther.

I must have fallen asleep again because before I knew it, the healer was kneeling beside me, gently coaxing me awake. “Aria, are you strong enough to shift back to your human form?”

Raising my weary head, I rumbled in confirmation. I would try.

Pain blossomed through me as I urged the transformation to begin. A whimper crawled out of my throat as I lay limp on the ground, my body twitching and writhing. My wounds that had clotted and dried suddenly ripped open again, spilling blood onto Lucas’ floor, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was more concerned that I transformed completely. When I was human, I was cradled in his arms as he stroked my hair, hushing the agonized pants that left my lips.

In the few minutes I laid there, naked and vulnerable, I felt Lucas’ warmth against my bare skin and felt safer than I ever had. Unprecedented affection consumed me, and I was incredibly grateful to be there with him. But it didn’t last long.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he said against my ear.

It should have made me feel even warmer, but instead, it left me with a foreboding sense of shame.

Given everything I had lost I knew it was only a matter of time before I ruined this too. I couldn’t fall into the trap of having feelings for Lucas. He would realize how unworthy I was, and I didn’t think my soul could handle any more rejection. I was better off not feeling anything.

“Aria, tell me, why did you choose to come here instead of going back home?” asked Lucas.

I peered up at him but didn’t know what to say.

“Are they still mistreating you?”

My eyes fell.

“Did they hurt you?”

His question was a knife jabbing into my chest. I swallowed, unable to look back up at him. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Aria, I can tell you’re not fine,” insisted Lucas.

But when he reached for my arm, I pulled away. Bitterness plagued my tongue. He didn’t understand that just talking to me doomed him to suffer from my negligence and selfishness, like Oswald and Mara. I didn’t want him to suffer because of me.

Lucas sighed, relenting for now.

I numbed myself to the emotions that followed Lucas helping me get dressed. While Esther placed her hands on me and nurtured my wounds, I stared past her and Lucas and Scott, focusing on the texture of the wall. The ache in my heart resonated through me—it couldn’t be mended by Esther’s healing magic. It felt so heavy I thought that I would sink right into the couch and disappear. I wanted to. The last images I had of my pack kept flashing in my mind, reminding me of how little I meant to them and how little I would eventually mean to Lucas. Everybody abandoned me in the end because I was never good enough. I wasn’t sure what I had done to endear Lucas to me, but it felt like I’d deceived him, and eventually, he’d find out just how nefarious I was. I didn’t deserve his help. I didn’t deserve any of this.

Once the healing was finished, Lucas draped a blanket over me and stepped away. I lay there, simmering, while I overheard him talking to Esther in the other room.

“Do you know what could be wrong with her?” he asked quietly.

“She’s showing signs of depression,” said Esther. “That’s not surprising, considering how poorly her packmates are treating her. Being touch-starved has weakened her body, so fighting those rogues took a lot of energy, and her injuries aren’t healing as well as they could be.”

Lucas was silent for a moment, thinking. “What can I do to help?”

“At this point, I’m not sure if there’s anything you can do. Her pack has rejected her. Her bond with them is failing. If she loses her bond with her pack, her body may just give out.”

Lucas growled. “I won’t let that happen.”

“There is an alternative… but it would be up to her to make it work.”

Their voices blurred into an inaudible murmur. A small curiosity within me begged to know what they were saying, but my apathy overwhelmed any attempt I might have made to listen. Whatever Esther’s alternative was it was doomed to fail. So why bother?

I should just let my bond with my pack wilt away. They would be happier.

And in the end, it would be easier on Lucas.

I closed my eyes, wishing that I could hurry up and fade away to save everyone the trouble of having to deal with me.