Chapter 20 - Faye

Two weeks spent searching for a witch had me looking like an absolute mess. There wasn't a witch in the area that seemed to want to do anything for this pack. I was sure it had something to do with their reputation with traditions and the fact that demons were attracted to this place like moths to a porch light. The Silverfangs had a history of mistreating women among other things. Although things had gotten a lot better since Hector took the helm, I wasn't sure what other changes he would make to ensure equality.

But that was the last thing on my mind right now. At this point, I was subjected to an internet search that didn't really bring up a whole lot of helpful responses. Given that we were near Point Pleasant, everyone had an opinion on what was haunted and what was not.

Many people purported to be witches but weren't the least bit qualified. On top of that, I had been having the same predictive dream for the same time I had been searching for a witch. It made me nauseous. Shoot, even just staring at the laptop monitor was making me nauseous.

I sat at the kitchen table on a chilly October evening with my forehead in my hand and my right finger on the cursor pad. The laptop was the only light in the room. Other light sources had been extinguished because they were just giving me a headache. I had been getting so many more headaches lately. I had been craving lots of different types of food. Even when I was nauseous, I wanted a giant milkshake with French fries dipped inside of it.

They couldn't be just any French fries, either. They had to come from a local fast-food burger joint that was so obscure it didn't exist in any other state. This place could only be found in West Virginia, and it was one of the few things that was part of my childhood. It was one of the few things that my parents would allow me to have.

I clicked through another disappointing round of search results. I wanted to call Kylie about it and maybe even ask if I could borrow Regina, but I was worried about the reception. I hadn't exactly welcomed Kylie and Fred when they were here.

I didn't think I'd done a very good job at explaining things either. Kylie had sent me a few worrying texts, saying that she was concerned about me having a case of Stockholm Syndrome.

I stared at my phone as it lit up with a new text preview. I could tell that there was a bigger paragraph attached to that sentence. I think you have Stockholm Syndrome.

I loved that my best friend was direct, but I hated that she had said something like that. She was here with us. She saw how I interacted with Hector. Couldn't she say that things were a lot better than they seemed? She, of all people, knew what it was like hiding secrets. She, of all people, knew what it was like mating with a person that you weren't sure about.

The more I thought about it, the more nauseous I became. It became so intense that I bowed over the laptop in preparation to throw up on the keys. I covered my mouth with my left hand and held my stomach with my right as I ran out of the kitchen, down the hallway, and up the stairs to go to the bathroom.

Into the toilet went my entire dinner. Pretty much two entire steaks, a whole plate of bacon, and enough biscuits to make a country kitchen jealous. A giant slice of chocolate cake had gone in there as well. But the way everything came out was all mashed together. Nothing was distinguished. It felt so much like my feelings. I shuddered as I flushed the toilet and then went to rinse my mouth out. That was two weeks in a row that I was throwing up without a fever and without any sign of being sick in any other way.

I stared at my reflection.

A couple of weeks ago, I forgot to ask Kylie about my calendar. I didn't even have my original phone. I had a new phone, one that was full of apps that I didn't really use. I couldn't remember my password for my period app, so I was kind of in the dark about that. I bowed over the sink as another round of nausea hit me like a truck.

I'm so stupid. How could I forget about my period?

I guessed periods weren't worrisome when they weren't happening. Between the parental drama and the demon attacks, I hadn't had much time to think about anything else. But now that I knew for certain that I had missed my period, I needed to find out why.

Even though I had an idea.

As soon as my hands were dry, I knelt in front of the sink and checked underneath for anything I could use to help me figure out my current situation. In the back was a pink box. I recognized the design as one of the ones that used to be sold in the drugstore right next to the diner. They would usually run out at some point in the spring.

I snatched it up and tore it open, reading the directions as quickly and closely as possible. Forget why Hector had one of these things at all. I didn't know his previous circumstances. Shoot, I wasn't in the mood to think about that. The thought of another woman putting her hands on him made me livid .

My phone buzzed on the counter, and another text appeared. This one was from Hector, reminding me that we had supper with Adrian later. I shivered as I tried to respond in a way that was characteristic. I didn't even remember what I typed. I was too occupied by the directions on the box, too engulfed in the act of squatting over the toilet and peeing on this pink and white stick.

Once the stick was capped, I set a three-minute timer on my phone and watched the numbers tick down. What was I supposed to do if it was positive? If I was pregnant? Would that make him happy? If I was pregnant, that would make leaving a lot more complicated—never mind the fact that my feelings about staying and leaving were already complicated.

Fear made my heart race. Uncertainty made the blood rush through my veins. This time, a new headache was knocking at the back of my skull. A sense of regret came with it as I realized that my entire life was hinged on this moment.

Two minutes.

I watched the numbers continue to tick down. Excitement started to slide into place. I'd always wanted to be a mother, a good mother. One who was a lot better than my own. Hector would make a great father. He was attentive, kind, and instructive. And he was a strong leader. He defended the weak. That meant our children would be safe with him. That meant security. He wouldn't ditch his kid, no chance.

One minute.

My potential joy turned back into anxiety. Elders in every wolf pack told the rejected mate horror stories. It was one thing to play a prank on somebody, but it was entirely different to reject a person who was already marked. It was like signing a death certificate.

In this pack, rejected mates were sent out into the woods. Nobody wanted to be around that kind of unlucky being. To do that to a mother and a child would be gruesome—it would be torture. The terror of war couldn't compare to what might come of that situation.

Twenty seconds.

I sat stiffly on the toilet seat, tapping my finger rhythmically against my knee, switching which fingers were tapping, trying to create a new rhythm but utterly failing.

Ten seconds down.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. My throat got clogged up. My head felt like it was floating up while my body stayed stationary. My shoulders were up to my ears. My knees were tense.

Three seconds.

I heard the door open downstairs. My heart quivered as I listened to the familiar sound of Hector coming home.

I looked at the stick on the counter.

Positive .

It was all pink and pretty, two fine lines as clear as day, so clear that I knew exactly what was going to come next.

I couldn't breathe. I had a half notion that my fingers were rising to my lips in a state of shock, and at the same time, I was smiling. I heard the stairs creak.

Hector called out, "Where you at, Cherry Pie? Adrian's on the way."

I snatched the stick from the counter and shoved it back into the box, sticking it into the back of the cabinet where it was.

"I'm coming!" I flushed the toilet even though I hadn't used it and then washed my hands. "I'm just going to be another second. Don't wait for me."

I heard his boots pause in front of the door. "Are you feeling sick again? We can always cancel."

After I dried my hands, I opened the door. "Nonsense. It's Adrian. We should absolutely have him over."

Hector gazed down at me with a lazy smile. His face was rugged from not shaving for a few days. I liked the stubble a lot. I liked the way his hair fell into his eyes and how the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled at me. I liked, in particular, how he looked at me right now.

Like he was thinking about something very special to do to me.

He held out his hand to me. "Sorry, I missed you most of the day. I got stuck in town. Can you help me with the food?"

I smiled. "I can always help you with the food."

In the back of my mind, I thought about the news. I debated on telling him now or waiting until I had a way out if he rejected me.

Otherwise, I wasn't sure what I would do.

***

It was awkward sitting next to Adrian at the kitchen table. Hector had made a delicious feast—steak tips, potatoes, macaroni salad, an assortment of green beans, and other vegetables that were all seasoned to perfection. Everything tasted rich in my mouth while at the same time tasting like the worst thing in the world.

I hated being pregnant. Food was one of the few things that I truly loved without feeling too guilty. Since coming back, it was hard to have a good relationship with food, especially with my parents nearby. As much as it was awkward, it was nice to have Adrian to catch me up on the last several years.

He rested his hands on his stomach, gazing at the back door that led to the yard. "Lots of room for kids back there."

I hiccupped. Hector spared me a smile while handing me a cup of water. "Easy, Cherry Pie."

I grinned with enough heat in my cheeks to reheat the steak tips on the table. "Sorry about that."

Hector turned to his previous alpha. "Yeah, we've been working on kids."

Adrian chuckled knowingly. My entire face felt like a furnace. I just wanted to run away and forget all about how nice this feels right now. Maybe the pregnancy news won't be so bad.

But what if we're not mates?

I picked at my dessert, a couple of chocolate cookies that Hector had made from scratch.

Adrian gazed curiously at me like he was trying to read my mind. "I see you haven't found anyone for the ritual."

My stomach rolled. "I know. I'm sorry. It's a disappointment."

I bowed my head. Like most things are with me .

Adrian shook his head. "I'm not disappointed at all."

My head snapped up. I made eye contact with him. "Do you mean that?"

He nodded. "I think I have been too critical of my entire pack. I think, especially when it came to you, I was much too critical. It's not your fault you can't find a good witch for the ritual. In fact, I think that means we have the right witch sitting right here."

I frowned. "But won't it affect the outcome if I do it?"

He shrugged. "For all I know, it might improve the accuracy because you'll be the one doing it."

I glanced at Hector. "Is that okay with you?"

A smile slowly spread on his face. "That's more than okay with me."

I focused on Adrian, thinking for a while about what to say next. I was so tempted to blurt the news of my pregnancy. I wanted so much to celebrate it, to push the match ritual out of my mind, and move on with my life. It didn't matter if the magical world approved us mates.

Could we not just choose each other instead? I felt like I was choosing him every day that I woke up and stayed here.

That weird, scratchy voice came again. You should prepare to run .

I lowered my gaze, folding my hands together in my lap. Hector reached for my arm. "Are you okay?"

I waved off his concern. "I'm fine. I think I'm just trying to think of the logistics of what I would need to do."

Adrian held out his hand. "I can get the ritual sheet to you so you can study it."

I nodded. "That would be very helpful. Thank you, Alpha."

Adrian chuckled while Hector sputtered in irritated defiance. His opposition was written all over his face—in the redness of his cheeks and in the way his brows furrowed with agitation.

Adrian broke out into a great laugh that filled the entire room. This was something I didn't want to miss. This was something I didn't want to run from.

Please , I begged internally, just let this ritual work so that I don't have to run .