Chapter 12 - Kiara

It just wasn”t fair. I wanted to fight him and screw him at the same time. I just couldn”t resist him, and I couldn”t resist not resisting him. None of it made sense to me. Well, some of it made sense, but all of this was based on the fact that I had been wanting to mate for the longest time. I had thought about finding my match so many times throughout my life. It had been happening more often since Regina married my father. I hated it to admit it, but it was like they were rubbing it in my face. Disgust and contempt filled me up whenever I thought about my feelings about the situation.

How could I not have moved past that yet?

I knew they weren”t doing it on purpose. The jealousy was strange enough on its own, but having it be over my best friend and my father, I felt like I was betraying my own family. Even though we talked it out, there were still feelings inside of me that I hadn”t fully dealt with. Regardless, none of these things were going to be fixed overnight.

I kissed Harvey on the lips while standing on the tips of my toes, struggling against his biceps. I felt like everything in the world had culminated at this point. Every step I had taken had led to this moment when he was holding me tightly against his chest, a flat plane of muscle that I wanted so much to run my hands over. But I couldn”t do what I wanted because my arms were pinned to my sides. There was some secret part of me that truly loved the way that he held me down. Being with Harvey specifically satisfied a deep need to connect with another wolf.

If I was being honest with myself, that was hard to come by these days. My platonic friendships were great and made me feel supported. I had plenty of friends back in the pack. I knew so many people, and I spoke to them every single day. Not a moment of my life had been spent without company where I had to read social cues, tell jokes, and behave. With Harvey, though, it was different. I didn”t have to perform around him. I didn”t have to feel like what I said didn”t matter or that it was silly. He was someone I could make mistakes with, rather than someone who would chide my mistakes.

I knew this ritual was supposed to save his pack. I wasn”t sure how it was supposed to do so or why we hadn”t seen evidence of it yet, but I had hope in my heart that something was happening in the ether, that something was occurring in the background that would eventually let us know things would be okay.

The tip of his tongue slid over my bottom lip, prodding me to open my mouth. I welcomed him and suckled on his tongue for a moment, drawing a long groan from him that made my thighs twitch. We were both still naked from last night, yet the thought never occurred to me that we were exposed to each other. It just felt so natural. His warm body was against mine, and his arms tightened around me. The gesture told me that this was the exact spot I needed to be in. As much as I wanted to run, I wanted to stay, and that feeling never seemed to diminish.

He drifted back, just enough to give me room to breathe and just enough for me to want more of his lips pressed on mine. I tried to chase after his mouth, but he tilted away, snickering as if he were teasing me on purpose.

He squeezed me again. “You”ll have to do better than that, darling.”

I dug my nails into my hips, trying to bend my elbows or wiggle some more, but I couldn”t break out of his grip. It was like my body didn”t want to, even as my mind tried to get it to do what it wanted. Goddess, that didn”t make sense either, but I was enjoying the strict tautness of his grip, and that confused me as much as it aroused me. “You”re being mean.”

He nuzzled my nose with the tip of his nose and exhaled softly. “I”ll stop. If you want me to stop.”

“No.” The word burst from my lips with the ferocity of an untamed fire. “No, don”t stop.” Softer this time, yet so much more urgent than the first. “Please, don”t ever stop.”

When his mouth returned, it was like the edge of a puzzle finally connecting with the center. Not just two puzzle pieces fitting together but a whole collection of them dropping right down to the table one after the other, sliding into place like they”d never been parted. The satisfaction of seeing the full picture awakened something in me. My wolf began to dart around inside me, jumping from one thing to the next, almost like a cat that had gone right off the edge. Strange, all of it. Funny enough, the feeling was like being young again—young and adventurous—exploring secrets, dark caves, vast forests, and rich fields. All that from a kiss, and the promise of more sat behind his lips. It told me I would never have to do this alone.

Long before the kiss could end, shouts and screams broke through the air. He tensed and then released me as his head jolted up, sending me to grab my new clothes from the bed. I yanked the boots on without any socks and darted after him. He snatched a pair of jogging pants from the dresser, pulled them on, and snatched a pair of sneakers from the ground. We went through the small living room to the porch. I trailed after him to find a team of wolves outside facing down Clancy, Kirk, Demarcus, and Shiloh. A few members from the Grimpaw pack had gathered around the area to observe the strangers who had invaded their village.

I gasped. Those aren’t strangers. I covered my mouth while watching Harvey descend the stairs with a growl. That’s my family.

My father stood with a grim expression at the head of the group, with Jermaine, Fred, and Isaiah accompanying him. His brows were furrowed, and his jaw was set with a concerned frustration. He held up his big hands to Harvey, whose growls had intensified.

I raised my hands and waved. “Dad! Don”t worry. I”m fine.”

At ground level, I tried to side-step Harvey when he caught my arm. The snarl that escaped him was nothing like anything I’d ever heard in my life. The darkness behind it, the threat, the horrible nature of what I knew was a demonic force taking him over. It was then that I realized the gravity of how horrifying it was to be possessed.

“Who are you?” he bellowed. “What do you want with my mate?”

Dad’s eyes bulged. “What did you just call my daughter?” His eyes flickered to me, then back to Harvey. “You better let her go.”

“She’s mine now.”

As Harvey’s emotions went out of control, the demon took advantage of his vulnerability and struck. He was fighting two very different types of battles: protecting me from perceived danger and fighting against his inner demon.

I raised my hands once again. “Dad, please. Don”t agitate him. Everything”s fine. We just have to—”

Another growl cut me off. My father was already bowed over and breaking out of his clothes to become a wolf. The others did the same, although they took more care with their clothes and set them aside. I wondered what would happen next and how Harvey was going to handle this. For a second, he seemed to stand there as though he were stumped. I didn”t like watching him. I didn”t like not knowing what his face looked like. I couldn”t tell what the others were going to do either. Fight or die. Shoot, I had to do something. I had to jump in front of Harvey and stop my pack members from completely ruining everything we had been working to achieve.

I couldn’t let a week’s worth of work go down the drain that fast. Yet I continued to stand quietly and stare at the four regular wolves from my pack slowly advancing. The other onlookers weren”t particularly bothered, either, and that was frightening to see. It was like my family had walked right into a trap, and I was the bait. That meant I was the one who had made this whole mess so much worse than it was in the beginning.

Harvey turned to me, his eyes already completely black like glossy marbles getting ready to roll off of a desk. The smirk he wore was not his. A terrible and ancient amusement seemed to glow from him. He tapped the side of his nose twice, winked, and then turned back to my shifted father and his team. Within just a few seconds, Harvey had shifted into his wolf form: a dirty blonde wolf that smelled of bergamot. The snarl he released produced enough drool to puddle under his chin on the ground. Everything felt surreal. It was still morning, yet the brisk air made it feel like the sun would never come back from behind the clouds. My chest felt empty, and my legs were stuck to the ground. I couldn”t move.

I felt like I was back in the frigid waters of that pond, waiting for my skin to fall off from being scrubbed so hard. I even hugged myself for a second trying to understand what was going on. I searched the pack members’ faces to find Nora—someone reasonable, someone loving, caring, and knowledgeable. But she wasn”t around. I didn”t think Clancy or Kirk were going to listen to me, either. Neither of them seemed to be the logical type, and their eyes had turned black, too. Everyone”s eyes were black, and there wasn”t a regular wolf in sight within the entire Grimpaw pack. There wasn”t going to be anyone who would stop this fight from happening.

I had to do something.

Dad charged. That was unusual for him. Typically, he was the calculated type who would form a team, sneak into a place, and rescue whoever needed to be saved. He normally would have done that for me, but instead, he faced the alpha head-on. When Harvey lunged, terror gripped me. I clutched my chest and screamed for them to stop. No one heard me over the sound of sickening growls and thuds. Punches from paws that landed on heads or backs. Hard bone going brittle under the weight of various wolves. It was a smeared mess for a second of limbs and fur, glowing eyes, and sharpened teeth. Drool spattered the ground along with stripes of bright blood. Nausea swirled in my gut as I watched the scene unfold, biting into my thumbnail as I tried to think—tried to breathe through the freezing chill of fear.

Dad tackled Harvey to the ground and managed to pin my new mate underneath him. Harvey looked frenzied. His eyes rolled around, and his teeth gnashed. Blood seemed to pour from his gums like he was salivating it instead of drool. I saw that he actually had a cut in his gums from being bitten in the jaw. Dad snapped and snarled relentlessly. He tried to get Harvey to submit, but he refused. The other wolves were also locked in a heated battle, tossing each other around, snatching each other”s necks, and butting each other aside. Members of the Grimpaw pack stepped out of the way whenever a wolf launched in their direction. Then, when the wolf returned to the fight, they closed the circle, ensuring that the match didn”t leave the center of the village.

Something inside of me shifted. I ran forward and snarled; the sound that came out of my human mouth was so much more beastly than I had intended. I noticed my dad”s ears perk up, though he didn”t take his eyes off Harvey. The two were head-to-head, growling, snapping, and circling each other. One would advance, only to fake out on the attack, and the other did the same. I tried to find an opening, and when I saw one, I attempted to push myself between them. Dad snapped at me and bit my hand. Blood poured from the wound and dripped to the ground, turning Harvey into an even more crazed monster.

I yelled at him; I yelled at both of them. I couldn”t remember what I said. Everything became a haze as I tried to intervene. The more they fought, the more the others moved aside, and eventually, Dad bit down so hard on Harvey’s back that Harvey squealed. The sound seemed to break off into three different directions and echo all around us. It was like the demon itself had been wounded. Harvey weaved away, darting for the woods to retreat.

I hated this. I hated that I felt so split. My dad was trying to save me, but I was trying to tell him that I wasn”t in danger. I stared at the four wolves with anger and betrayal, feeling like I was being judged. I set my arms to my side, feeling my warm blood leaking out of the wounds in my hand. They would heal in a few minutes, but it wasn”t the wound itself that was really hurting me. It was the person who had bitten me.

“I can”t believe you would do this,” I yelled at him. But I was yelling at myself, too. I was yelling at everything and everyone. “Why don”t you just go back to the fucking ranch, and I’ll deal with you later!”

Dad looked hurt. I saw it in his eyes. But he took a step back, bowed his head, and then turned away with the others. As the four of them ran off, the members of the Grimpaw pack parted their circle and allowed them passage. Once they were out of sight, I turned to the woods where Harvey had disappeared and began to search for signs of blood on the ground to locate my ceremonial mate. I must have chased after him for several minutes on that frigid winter morning. Twigs and branches were bent and snapped in all directions.

Damn it. I couldn”t find him. Occasionally, I would catch the scent of bergamot and the metallic coppery smell of blood on the breeze, but he was hard to pinpoint—almost invisible to me. But not for very long. I heard a strange crackling, a horrible sound that made my skin crawl. It was something that I couldn”t exactly identify, and then that strange splitting vocalization that was almost like a chorus of voices rising and falling in a cathartic wave. That sound made me think of arching cathedrals void of people and faith. It was like a song bouncing off broken windows, a haunting tune that caught my attention as much as it made me want to turn tail.

I came upon a small clearing where the smell of bergamot was stronger. I found the person I had mated with, although I didn”t recognize him in this form. His long, scraggly legs with gigantic sharp claws and muddy fur made my skin feel like ice. My heart stuttered in my chest. As I stepped forward, the sound thundered in my ears and took over. The way he stood was almost like a jackal, but so much bigger and oozing black liquid from his long snout. Dark blood—black blood—dripped from his nose, coating the fur on his chest and trickling down to his paws, where his claws dug into the soft earth. A shadowy aura surrounded him, making his black eyes look completely void.

I realized then that he had been shifting all this time into something new and terrible—a demonic wolf with pointed ears and large black eyes that were round and lifeless. As he turned to face me, I realized his jaws were parting and that he was stepping toward me. My feet were stuck to the ground, and there was nothing I could do because I couldn”t move.

I had to face him, no matter the consequences.