Chapter 27 - Evan

I've spent the last week locked in my office, trying to find anything to keep myself busy. I've been reading books, answering emails, and going through the pack's ledgers, but I'm not really seeing any of it. Everything is a blur, and I can't concentrate. Nothing holds my attention. All I can think about is her.

Mia's been gone for a week. Every day, it gets worse. The separation is making me sick, literally. Every part of my body aches, and I'm starting to lose my strength. My wolf is getting weaker, and soon, I'm not going to be able to shift. If that happens, I'm as good as dead.

But this is what happens when a shifter is separated from his true mate. His body slowly gives up the fight and shuts down. He loses his appetite, loses his energy, and loses his will to live. It's not something I've ever witnessed firsthand, but I've heard the stories. When a shifter finds his mate, it's like he finds himself. And when the mate is lost, the shifter loses himself.

It's not as though I had any other choice. We're an isolated pack with no allies of which to speak. Looking back, the most reckless decision I ever made was marrying a shifter from Stardust Hollow. Ram was no doubt itching for a reason to get back at us, and I gave him one. He runs a powerful pack with more shifters than we can handle. He could've taken us out, and there wouldn't have been anything we could've done about it.

So, I did the only thing I could. I let Mia go. It was the best way to keep the pack safe.

My phone rings, and I don't even look at the caller ID before I answer it. "Hello?"

"I hope you're not getting any stupid ideas about coming after her." Ram's voice is unmistakable, and I instantly straighten my spine.

I've never hated the sound of someone's voice so much. If I could reach through the phone, I swear to God, I'd choke the life out of him.

"What do you want, Ram?" I snap.

"Just a little friendly reminder," he says, and I can hear the cockiness in his tone. "I saw one of your men outside my house, watching us."

Shit. So much for Guy being discreet.

"I'm only going to give you one warning, Woods," Ram continues. "Keep your shifters away, and there won't be a problem. Cross me again, and you're going to wish you never fucked with me in the first place. Understand?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a long, slow breath. "I just need to know she's okay. That's all. I don't want any trouble. No one does." The fact that I'm reduced to this, begging a fucking enemy for a single scrap of information about her, is humiliating. And yet, I'd do anything for her.

"She's fine. She's home. With her family. Where she belongs."

Come on, Ram. Give me something. Anything. I need to know that she isn't in the same pain I'm in.

"I'll keep my wolves away, but I need something from you, too," I say.

"You're not in a position to make demands," he sneers. "You're lucky I haven't torn your head off yet. You've caused nothing but problems for me and my family. Now, leave my pack the hell alone, or so help me God, I will─"

"I know, I know," I say, cutting him off. "I'll make sure my guys never go near your turf again, but please... is she happy? Do you think she'll be okay?"

He's quiet for a moment, and then he asks, "Why are you so concerned with her happiness? She was nothing more than a pawn in your game, right?"

I don't respond. He already knows the answer.

"Fine," he says, sighing. "She's out with her sister as we speak. They're shopping and having a good time. And she seems perfectly happy. Does that make you feel better?"

I close my eyes, the mental image of her smiling and laughing filling my head. It's bittersweet. Of course, I want her to be happy, but that means she's moving on. Without me. She's not sitting in her room, pining for me. She's not suffering the way I am. And even though that's the outcome I want, I'm surprised at how much it hurts.

"Yes," I say quietly. "That's what I needed to know."

"Good. Glad we could have this little chat. Oh, and Evan? If I see any of your shifters lurking around, we're going to have a big problem. Do you understand?"

"Yeah. Loud and clear."

"Good," he says again. "And you might want to find someone else to run your recon. I could smell these guys a mile away. It's pathetic."

"Right," I mutter. "Thanks for the tip. Won't happen again."

"Glad to hear it. See you around, Woods."

He ends the call, and I'm left sitting in silence, wondering how my life ended up this way. I was perfectly happy on my own, taking care of my pack and living my life. And then Mia came along. Now I'm weak, and my heart is broken. I've never felt like this before.

The door opens, and Rafe walks in, closing it behind him. I'm not in the mood for company, but he's due to report on the latest hunt. I lean back in my chair and gesture to the one on the other side of my desk.

"Have a seat."

He doesn't say anything. Instead, he sits down and stares at me. It's clear he has something to say, but he doesn't know how to say it. That's unlike Rafe. He's always been a man who speaks his mind.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

He shakes his head and then runs a hand through his hair. "Not wrong, no. But I think we should talk about something."

I sit up a little straighter, feeling on edge. Rafe doesn't beat around the bush, and whatever he has to say, he's not sure how I'm going to react. That's the only explanation for his hesitance.

"Is this about the pack's food supply?" I ask.

"No."

"Are we having some issues with the border?"

"No."

I throw my hands up. "Then what the fuck is it? Spit it out."

He doesn't flinch at my sharp tone. He just looks me in the eye and says, "We need to discuss your wife."

Fuck.

"No, we don't."

"Evan, you're a mess," he says. "You look like shit, and I can tell you're starving. What's the point of trying to live like this, huh? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I said no," I growl, standing up from my chair. I can feel the rage bubbling in my chest. He's crossing a line.

"Evan, you need to talk to someone," he says, pushing further.

"I said NO!" I slam my hands down on the desk and stare him down.

Rafe doesn't cower under my stare. If anything, he squares his shoulders and gives me a hard look. "She's not coming back," he says. "So, you need to accept that and move on. We need our alpha, Evan."

I can't help but feel a little insulted by his words. He makes it sound like I'm some sort of burden. But I guess, to a certain extent, I am right now.

"What do you want me to say?" I ask, letting out a long, slow breath.

"I want you to tell me how we're supposed to break the bond between the two of you. You obviously aren't willing to do it, so someone needs to step up."

"I can't just... break it," I admit. "It's not like it's something I can control. We're bound together. Forever. Even if I wanted to break it, which I don't, I don't know how. We're true mates."

Rafe nods slowly and then rubs his hands together. "So, what do we do? Because you can't continue on like this. And we also need to consider what this means for the curse. This is unprecedented. We've never had an alpha take a mate and then lose her. We don't know if the curse will stay broken or if it'll come back. It's something we have to think about."

"I've been thinking about nothing else since the second she left," I tell him.

"And have you come up with an answer? Are we safe or not?"

I shake my head. "I don't know."

Rafe curses under his breath and leans back in the chair, staring at the ceiling. He's worried. They all are.

"This isn't good, Evan," my brother says. "We need to get her back. For you, for the sake of the curse. The pack misses their luna. And frankly, they miss their alpha, too."

"Christ, Rafe, what the hell do you want me to say? That I'm in love with her? Fine, I am. I'm fucking in love with her, and it hurts like hell that she's not here. But she's not coming back. She's happy, and that's what matters."

Rafe looks surprised. His eyebrows shoot up, and he blinks a few times, processing what I've said. Then, he leans forward, his expression changing. "She's not the only one who matters, Evan."

That's it. I've had enough of this conversation. Enough of people telling me what I need to do.

"I'm done talking about this," I say. "I don't want to hear another word. Understood?"

"Evan, I don't─"

"I said we're done! And since you insist on being disobedient, I'm banning you from the office. You won't step foot in here again for a month. Actually, make that my entire fucking house. Send Glenn in for your reports from now on. Now, get the hell out!"

Rafe stares at me for a few seconds, then stands and leaves the room. He doesn't even slam the door or yell back. He just lets it close behind him.

How dare he tell me that she's not the only one who matters? Doesn't he think I realize that? If I didn't, then we would've fought to the death when Ram came knocking at our door. We would've gone down fighting. But the last thing I want is for the people I love most in this world to die. So, yes, I sacrificed Mia. I sacrificed our marriage and our bond. Isn't that enough? What the hell else am I supposed to do?

I collapse into the chair and close my eyes, trying to breathe through the anger. Rafe was out of line. I know the pack is suffering, and they're all worried, but he is my beta. He doesn't get to question my decisions, especially when it comes to my personal life. I won't stand for it.

But even as I tell myself this, there's a part of me that knows he's right. I can't keep going like this. I need her. My wolf needs her. He's barely hanging on, and if we don't get her back soon, I'll lose him, too.