Chapter 5

Sophia

"So you're really not going to mate him, then?"

Lily is sitting on the floor, the breakfast tray in her lap as she eats an omelet with her fingers. I don't have much of an appetite, and I stare out the window at the village.

"I don't know if I even have a choice."

"What?" Lily's head jerks up in alarm. "Are you saying he can force you?"

I want to say yes, but I can't seem to get the word out of my mouth. I don't think Alex will force me into anything.

"Being independent is a gift," I say softly. "I don't have that luxury."

"Sure you do." Lily picks up a cut piece of fruit and pops it into her mouth. "We all have a choice. If you don't want to be with Alex, you can leave this place. You don't always have to announce what you're doing. If you think he's going to stop you, just sneak out."

I glance at her. "He's a wolf shifter. He can track my scent. I won't be getting very far."

I stopped taking scent blockers when we fled Oakrest, and ever since, I haven't been able to hide my scent. The lack of reaction of Alex's companions took me aback. After all, the one time I forgot to take them, when I was sixteen, the boys of the orphanage tried to assault me. I ended up killing all of them except one. Even the smell of my blood is enough to whip any males around me into a frenzy. When Alex's friends didn't react the same way, it had me wondering what changed.

But this isn't the time to be thinking about that. I'm more concerned about what to do in my present conundrum.

"I can't sneak away in any case," I continue slowly. "I made a promise to Alex, and I need to keep it."

Lily casts me a dubious look. "You shouldn't be too nice, you know. It always comes back to bite you in the ass."

Maybe she's right, but this is a matter of young children. I can't leave them to this fate.

"You want to hear my opinion?" Lily rests her head back against the bed as she looks at me.

I shrug. "You're going to share it anyway."

She grins at me. "Yes, I am. I think you're reading too much into the situation. I don't think Alex's intentions are bad. You're kind of overreacting."

Her voice is calm, and her words grab my attention. "Do you really think so?"

"I've seen the way he gazes at you. He looks like a fool in love. In my opinion, he's an idiot. Most men are. But I don't think he has some ulterior motive in bringing you here. I mean, after all, you two are fated mates. That means something."

I consider her words, resisting the urge to argue with Lily. It's hard not to, considering Alex went off with that girl and didn't show up till two hours later, smelling like her. Her scent was all over him. And then he had the nerve to say she is like a sister to him.

"Relationships are complicated. You wouldn't understand."

"That's not true," Lily retorts. "I've been…I was involved with somebody once. So, it's not as if I lack experience. But honestly, this entire quandary reeks of idiocy, rather than Alex having villainous intentions toward you. I think you're being a little hard on him. Although, I can understand that you're upset. You should probably make him suffer a bit more."

My lips curve at the amusement in her voice.

"He was so worked up last night," she adds. "He spent the entire night outside the guest house."

That gets my attention. "Really?"

Lily nods. "I could see him from my window. I don't think he slept at all. Anyway, thanks for sharing your breakfast with me. I don't think anybody was going to feed me here."

"You can finish it," I tell her. "I'm not hungry."

She glances at me. "You sure? Don't mind if I do, then."

I let her eat in peace. Looking outside, I see that there's not a lot of activity going on. Some businesses are opening up. There's a bakery right across from my window, and a woman is setting up the sign board in front of it.

Maybe Lily is right. Maybe I did overreact. But it doesn't feel like it.

I can't forget the image of Alex talking to that girl, smiling down at her. If I close my eyes, I can replay the entire scene in my head. The inflection of his tone when he disregarded me completely. The way he leaned down and smiled at Hilda.

She must be a little older than Lily, in her early twenties. Not a child from any angle.

And the way she looked at him. No sister looks at her brother like that. She wants him, and even if Alex claims to be oblivious to the fact, it doesn't change reality.

"Sister," huh? I wonder how many more "sisters" will pop up during my stay here.

There's a knock on the door, and I call out, "It's open."

The door opens to reveal Patrick standing there, holding a small bag. "I thought you two would want a change of clothes. Lily, why don't you go get changed in your room?"

Lily's cheeks are stuffed with food; she looks like a little chipmunk. She gestures toward the tray and her mouth.

"You can bring breakfast with you," Patrick says impatiently.

Lily doesn't look very happy, but she grabs the clothes he tosses her from the bag and stands up, balancing the tray in her other hand. When the door closes behind her, Patrick looks at me.

"I heard you and Alex had some words this morning."

"You heard, or he went to you to complain?" I scoff.

"He wouldn't dare complain to me right now." Patrick grins. "I gave him an earful when he was coming to see you last night. And if it helps, I'm on your side."

"And what might my side be?"

Patrick's expression darkens. "Hilda is a grown woman now. Alex should have put a stop to her nonsense a long time ago."

I open my mouth, trying to say something, and then I snap it shut. After taking a couple of seconds to organize my thoughts, I stammer, "So…she and Alex aren't…"

"There's nothing romantic or physical between them," Patrick says seriously. "It's all one-sided. If you remember Julia and her obsession with Alex, Hilda is a softer version of that."

When I don't say anything, he walks over to me and gently guides me to sit down in a chair. He takes a seat on the bed across from me. "I think you have questions, Sophia. And the best person to ask right now is me. So, whatever is bothering you, fire away. You don't have to hold back."

I let out a shuddering breath. "He said he would stay away from Hilda."

That takes Patrick by surprise. "He did? Now, I did not expect that."

"What do you mean?"

"During the argument we had last night," Patrick explains, "I told Alex that if he wants you to stay with him, he's going to have to choose between you and Hilda. He kept telling me that he couldn't choose one or the other because Hilda is like family to him and you are his mate. You see, he doesn't look at her that way."

"But she looks at him that way," I reply grimly. "And she's not exactly hiding it."

Patrick looks away from me for a moment. "She wasn't always like this." A soft sadness crosses his face. "She's younger than us by quite a lot. Alex and I both started looking after her, but she always preferred Alex, so I stepped back. She was a sweet kid in the beginning, but as she grew up, she became more and more possessive where Alex was concerned. Once she reached puberty, and started dating around, Alex never paid any attention to it. Nobody would dare mess with Hilda because of him. But I guess…"

Patrick still has a sad look in his eyes as he falls silent once again. I wait for him to speak, and he does after a minute or two.

"Hilda wasn't happy with the situation, so she started flirting with me. I didn't know what her intentions were at the time, but she was quite persuasive. She can be a charming little thing, and it didn't take her long to have me eating out of her hand. We went out for a few weeks, and then I discovered that she was just using me to make Alex jealous. When that didn't work, and Alex actually gave us his blessing, she had a tantrum."

He has an incredulous look on his face. "When I found out what she was trying to do, I was disgusted, and I broke things off. I tried telling Alex, but he never believed me. We had a falling out because I broke it off with her. Hilda claimed that I'd been using her to have a good time when I had actually fallen for her pretty hard."

There must still be some feelings there, I can tell. But I keep my opinion to myself.

"Alex has a blind spot when it comes to her," Patrick says quietly. "To be fair, he should've warned you about her on our way here. He should have at least mentioned Hilda. But I guess there was so much else going on that he simply forgot. But that is not to say that Alex doesn't love you, Sophia. In his eyes, she is truly nothing more than a little sister. But yes, he needs to figure it out that you have to come first now. I don't know what you said to him this morning—"

"We had a fight," I interrupt, wetting my lips. "If you can call it that."

"Whatever happened has him devastated," Patrick replies cautiously. "I don't have any pity for Alex at the moment, though. He needs to get his priorities in order. What did you say to him?"

I don't want to get into too many details, but I tell Patrick the gist of the words that were spoken. By the end of it, Alex's childhood friend looks distressed.

"Of course he won't toss you aside, Sophia. Not for one minute should you believe he would do that."

I press the heels of my hands against my eyes and lean back in the chair. "You think I'm overreacting, too? Lily sure does."

Patrick doesn't respond immediately. When he does, his words are carefully chosen. "I can understand your feelings. And I'll be honest with you, not just because you're Alex's mate but because you agreed to help save the pups when you really didn't have to. You're hurt by Alex's actions, and I understand that. But he loves you. He cares deeply about you. And if you were to ask him to let you leave, he would. He wouldn't stop you." Patrick makes a sound of frustration. "He's being an idiot right now, that's all. He is not trying to use you, Sophia. And he's not trying to completely isolate you and corner you."

The anger and hurt inside me lessen upon hearing this.

"I think the exchange of words you had this morning has given him a wake-up call with regard to many things. Just because my friend can be a fool sometimes doesn't mean he's trying to manipulate you. But I guarantee that from now on, he's going to be much more careful." His voice is sincere and I look at him. He meets my gaze. "I know you have trust issues, Sophia. So does Alex. Both of you need to look past your problems and your issues and work as a team together. Once you wear his mating mark, you'll be partners in every sense of the word. You will feel what he's feeling, and you'll realize the depth of his love for you."

I rub my hands over my face before resting my elbows on my thighs.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I nod.

"And about him not letting the pack know who you are: it is a necessity at this point. I guess you two were too worked up to have a proper conversation about it this morning, but Karina still has her people in the village here. One slip of the tongue is all it's going to take. Once Alex gives you his mating mark, you become leverage for the Queen to use against him. All she has to do is imprison you, and Alex is her puppet. He will lose every ounce of autonomy he has sought to secure. You are Alex's biggest weakness right now, and he knows it."

I stare at him. "He'll never be able to declare me as his mate, then."

"That's not true." Patrick shakes his head. "This is one more reason why you have to grow stronger with your magic. Once the children are freed from the link, there will be a rebellion, Sophia. I don't think we'll be able to stay here any longer because I don't believe Alex has any intention of using you to go after Karina. He knows your aversion to bloodshed and violence, and he's not going to put you through that."

My head jerks back at his words.

Alex never told me that. My understanding all this time was that once the children were safe, he fully intended to take Karina down.

"He said that to you?" I ask Patrick, wanting confirmation.

"Like I said," Patrick shrugs, "he just wants to save our pack and leave this place. I don't know what his plan is, but it's no longer to seek revenge."

There is no accusation in Patrick's voice, no anger that Alex has changed their plans because of me.

"Do you blame me for that?"

Patrick laughs shortly. "Why would I blame you, Sophia? You are doing us a huge favor. Despite how we treated you initially, you've chosen to trust us. It's been a hell of a journey for all of us, but I think Alex is right. There's no need to traumatize you by putting you through the kind of war that will have too many casualties for you to bear."

I let out a long breath, feeling partially relieved and a little guilty.

"However, that is not what's important at the moment." Patrick runs a hand through his hair. "You and Alex are a unit. I know it's hard for you, but you have to trust him, Sophia. He is loyal and faithful to you. That's not going to change, no matter what."

He sounds so sure of what he's saying. But then, he is Alex's closest friend.

"I know you're angry, and I know you're upset. But if you let doubts seep into your relationship, it's going to fall apart before it even takes shape. I can understand that it's easier to close yourself off, but when you are with somebody, communication is important. You and Alex need to talk. What he did wasn't right. But he needs to know that. Lashing out at him or telling him that you don't trust him anymore isn't the way to go. He was willing to leave this pack for you, Sophia. Don't take that lightly. After everything we have been through together as a pack, saying that he's going to walk away from us is a very difficult decision for him. He has put you above his own people."

Everything that Patrick is saying sounds so reasonable that I feel like a child who has thrown a fit over nothing.

He gets to his feet. "Alex is going to come and try to talk to you again. This time, listen to what he has to say. Be angry if you want; it's your right. He shouldn't have been an idiot, but you need to hear him out."

When Patrick leaves, I move to the bed and sink into it.

Was I in the wrong this whole time?

Rolling over, I flex my fingers and stare at my hand.

I overreacted. That seems to be the essence of it. Everybody has the same opinion.

I still feel that my anger was justified, but maybe Patrick is right. I'm so accustomed to clamping shut when hurt that I did the same thing with Alex. The things I told him were borderline cruel. If he said them to me, I would be devastated.

I drop the back of my hand across my eyes and sigh.

It sucks being wrong.

***

It's early afternoon when there's a knock on the door. Lily and I have been lounging in my room all morning, working on my magic every hour. I've seen a few people trying to peer through the windows, which has been awkward. Almost like we are a spectacle to be gawked at.

When I open the door, Nathan walks in. He's carrying a young child who cannot be more than six months old.

Behind him is Alex. He doesn't meet my gaze but says stiffly, "This is one of the newborns who has been linked to the nannies and the soldiers. Do you want to see if you are able to break the link?"

"Now?" I blink, feeling anxious.

"You have to start somewhere," Alex replies. "At least this way you'll know what you're working with."

Nathan puts the child in my lap, and Lily sits across from me, studying what is probably a little girl, if the pink bow on her head is any indication. Her brows knit together after a few minutes of silence.

"It's a strong enchantment. Life for a life. Death for a death. Dark magic. It's not going to be easy to break. I don't think Sophia is at that level yet."

"Alex is right, though." I look down at the child. "I have to know what I'm working with. Why don't you guide me?"

Lily makes a face. "We can try. It's not going to be easy, though." She takes my hand and places it on the child's stomach. "Every living being has a core. Witches, shifters, humans, animals, all of us. When a spell is cast on someone, it's around their core, which is located here. You have to seek the core of this child, and sense the magic."

"How do I do that?" I feel like I'm being tasked with the impossible.

"You've already learned how to access your core. Now you have to feel for hers. Calm your mind. It will come to you very naturally."

I follow her instructions, and as I do, I begin to feel a strange sensation. It feels dirty and tainted, and my skin shudders in revulsion.

I can sense the dark magic around this child.

In the background, I hear somebody close the curtains.

If I keep my eyes closed, I can almost physically see the child's core. It's like a small, glowing rock. It's surrounded by thick, black threads, which are all tangled together. Slowly, I begin untangling the one closest to me. It's a tedious process, but my instincts warn me that one wrong move is going to hurt the glowing rock in the center. I've only managed to untangle a few threads before I'm jerked back against someone's chest and my eyes fly open.

"What happened?"

That's what I try to say, but my mouth is too dry, and my whole body is cold as ice.

"She's breathing!" Alex sighs in relief, and I realize that I'm leaning against him.

Lily looks pale. "What were you doing? We've been trying to wake you for hours!"

"What?" I stare at her, confused. What is she saying? "I just started."

"Four hours have passed, Sophia," Lily tells me, her voice shaking. "You went into a trance a couple of minutes after you closed your eyes. And then you started turning cold."

"The threads," I try to say, but my mouth is still dry. "Water, please."

Nathan quickly fetches me a glass before taking the child from me. The girl is sleeping peacefully.

He looks at Alex. "I'm going to give the baby back to the mother."

"If the nannies cause a problem, tell them the Alpha wanted to see the child."

Nathan nods and hurries out.

Lily turns her attention to me. "So, what happened?"

"I saw a glowing rock surrounded by thick, black threads. I was trying to untangle them."

Lily's eyes widen, and she breathes, "Fascinating. You were able to physically manifest the magic? I've never heard of that happening before."

"What does that mean?"

She shakes her head. "It's not important. What is important is that you'll be able to break the link, but you'll need enough time." She looks at Alex. "I don't think this is something she'll be able to do all at once. It's going to have to be one individual child at a time. You're going to have to come up with a way to give her access to the children without the nannies finding out."

Alex agrees.

I shiver, and he orders, "Get her a blanket."

As Lily hurries away, I look at him over my shoulder. "Why am I so chilly?"

"I don't know, but the bond between us was beginning to fade. It was very difficult to wake you up."

Alex is trying to sound calm, but I can hear the distraught tone of his voice. I try to turn around to face him, but he doesn't let me.

"I know you don't want to, but for now, you have to accept my body heat. You have no idea how cold you are, Sophia." His voice is fierce now.

"I want to talk to you."

"We can talk later."

"Alex."

"I nearly lost you!" he roars passionately. "Do you have any idea what I just went through trying to wake you up? You wouldn't move. Your eyes were open and completely white. And no matter how much I rubbed your hands, they wouldn't warm up! You can't do this to me again! We'll find another way for the children!"

"I can do it, Alex," I try to convince him. "I can see the threads. I can untangle them."

"Not at the cost of your life!" He raises his voice at me, and I see the fear in his eyes. It stuns me into silence. Lily enters the room, and when she sees the way we're looking at each other, she quietly puts the blanket on my shoulders and walks back out.

"We'll figure out another way." Alex looks scared. I don't think I've ever seen that look on his face before.

"I'm telling you that you don't need to do that. You guys have been searching for so long to save all these children. I can do it. I'll just be more careful."

"How?" Alex demands. "How are you going to be careful? Do you have a plan in mind? Can you control this trance?"

I open my mouth to reply, but I don't have an answer to his questions. "Not yet," I finally admit.

"Then that's it. End of discussion."

"Not end of discussion! I will figure out a way to wake up when my body is being overloaded," I seethe. "I'll discuss it with Lily, and we'll come up with something."

"For once in your life, can you not be reckless?" Alex growls at me. "What am I supposed to do if I lose you? You can call me a selfish bastard but would you just think of me for once!" His hands are shaking. "How do you expect me to live on if you're dead?"

My heart trembles. I manage to turn around and face him properly. He's sitting on the ground behind me, and I'm straddling him now, uncaring of how sexual our position would look to anybody entering the room.

"I am not going to die. And I'm not leaving you behind. You're stuck with me for life." It's my turn to offer reassurances, and I cup his face. "I'm sorry about our fight. I'm sorry for overreacting and saying all those horrible things to you. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He stares at me, and I see the way his eyes search mine.

"I can't lose you, Sophia." His voice is desperate. "Don't ask me to sacrifice you. Not now."

"I won't sacrifice myself," I promise. "I'm going to work with Lily, and we'll come up with a good, solid plan for the next time I sit with one of the pups."

Alex looks at me in silence, absorbing my words. Finally, he says, "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have gone off with Hilda. I should've told you about her before. She's not more important to me than you are. Nobody is more important than you. And I'll tell her not to get too physically close with me. I apologize for hurting you, as well."

My arms come to wrap around his neck, and he holds me by the waist. We're pressed against each other in the most intimate of ways, and I breathe in his scent. Relief fills me. I didn't like fighting with Alex. I didn't like this misunderstanding between us.

"Next time, I'll try to talk to you when I get upset," I whisper.

"Next time, I'll try to make sure there isn't a next time," he replies.

A watery laugh leaves my lips, and I bury my face in his neck.

I'm still feeling cold, but Alex's presence is enough to warm me for now.