Chapter 13

It feels like my mind is elsewhere all the time and I don't know what to do. My heart hammers in my chest as I head to the spaceship with Melzul. I... Maybe it is a bad idea to save him. I should have just left him to die in the forest.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. I guess, even though he annoys me, I shouldn't wish that on him and shouldn't do that. Even though he is annoying, and given everything that happened since he arrived, I'd still save him if I could go back in time, it's just...

A gentle breeze blows against us. I let out a breath as I stare at the grass and the animals out there. They look to be happy, with no worries at all. I'd love to be like them, except...

That's not going to happen until I die, or I figure out how to get us back home. I don't even know whether these beings still want to be here... Well, since I haven't told them, they probably didn't, even though I've lost contact with the home company and we... may be stuck here till who knows when?

Eventually, after five years, there is quite some time until then... They will find out, that's if I can even last until then. It is all I can do to—

"Irene, the spaceship is over there." Melzul points at the spaceship, which I walked past without realizing. He frowns and stares at me as if I'm dumb or something.

I resist the urge to smack him with my staff. "I'm going to check on the animals."

"Ah, okay." He follows me, and doesn't seem doubtful.

I hate him. Now I forget what I was thinking about. The animals are there munching on grass. There are different species out there, but all give milk. I stop at a brown one who's enjoying the day and the breeze. It brays when I get close. I pat it and sit on the grass with it.

Melzul stands there and stares at me. I sigh. "Find something to entertain yourself and leave me alone."

"But..."

I glare at him. Must he keep annoying me to no end?

He swallows and comes closer. Except talking to me isn't the thing for him to entertain himself until I'm ready to head back there. Maybe I should have dropped him off at the farming site before I tried to relax for a bit.

He ignores my glare and says, "Something is wrong here, except I don't know what that is. What are you hiding from everyone?"

What?

No way...

Even he knows about that?

Or...

Maybe he is new here and doesn't understand a lot, thus finding things weird.

I shake my head. "There's no such thing."

He leans even closer. "No way. I'm new, but I'm not dumb. You should know you can never hide everything from everyone all the time."

His gaze seemingly tears into me and... I fight to keep my gaze on him. The brown dude brays and leans on my lap. I pat him instead. He makes for a good reason to look away. "Melzul, you don't have to worry about that. Just settle into a working team and enjoy your new life here, seeing you said you didn't want to go back to your own planet, for whatever reason."

"No, look at me."

Except I ignore him. I don't want to look at him and it feels like he knows a bit too much and I hate it.

He continues, "There has to be something. Why were you crying last night? Over what?"

"I don't owe you an answer. Like I said, just forget about it."

"No, I can't. I worried about you."

I glance at him. What did he say?

He frowns. "Look... Maybe I'll tell you this. I used to lead a spaceship, and I know how hard that is, so..."

He used to what?

No way... Who is dumb enough to let him lead a spaceship?

I clear my throat. "Are you the only one surviving a spaceship crash where your driving skill was a bit too bad? And that's the spaceship you led?"

"No... That's not the case. I... Say... I decided to not lead a spaceship later."

That's... weird. "Why?"

"I don't owe you..." He stares at the ground, seemingly realizing how dumb he looks.

I shrug. "Well, I don't care about that. Just leave me alone."

"No."

"What do you want? You've far achieved your goal to annoy me. Happy?"

He sits on the grass with resolve in his eyes. "You can tell me. I won't tell anyone. You miss home, right?"

A load weighs on my chest again. "I told you not to mention that again."

"And when have I been good at following instructions?"

He is going to be the death of me.

I suck in a breath. "What do you want?"

"I just want to help. It feels like everyone here is trying to skirt away from a certain topic."

"I don't even know what you're talking about."

"You do. Why are you pretending to have no clue? If I can see that, even though I've only been here for a few days, those that have been here for a long time have to know about it."

"Nothing's wrong. We just miss home."

"Then why don't you visit there?"

I open my mouth, but decide to say nothing instead. He won't understand and I don't care to tell him.

He says, "If you aren't telling me, I'm going to ask every single being I run into. One of them has to know. Maybe I'll start with Hoge. He is right inside the factory."

He walks off and heads straight to the factory. I get up and hurry to chase after him. He has fucking long legs and that takes effort.

I block him off and aim my staff at his head, but he dodges me. He says, "You can't smack me every time you aren't happy. I'm going to fight back."

"Except we've proven that you can't win."

I expect him to be mad and fight me, then he'll forget about the stupid question and I'll get to smack him, but he is a bit too calm to my liking.

He folds his arms. "Why must you keep changing the topic? Just tell me and let me help."

"You can't even drive a spaceship straight, but you think that you can help?"

He glares at me and his folded arms twitch, but they remain folded. "Maybe I can help, you don't know about that."

"I don't need help."

"Maybe others do. I'm going to talk to them."

"No, don't."

"Why? Is there a new rule that I don't get to talk to anyone now?"

I want to slap him and cover his mouth, but...

I look away, when there's warmth and moisture on my face. It isn't raining, so...

He sighs. "So... is that so bad? Like... I don't mean to upset you."

I wipe the tears from my eyes. "I'm fine."

"You aren't and that's okay."

Except nothing is fine and nothing is okay. I try to stop, but more tears surge and flow through me. I hate it, but I can't stop. I've been keeping myself together well, until Melzul's ass barges into my life. I don't need this to happen, but...

He puts his fucking hand on my shoulder. "Do you want to sit instead? We can spend time together if you want. And... Well, I doubt you want me to hold you."

"I'll hate that."

He chuckles, but wryly. "Yeah, I figured. I'm sorry. It feels like I always make you cry."

"No, you don't have that kind of impact on me."

"I'm not here to argue with you."

I sit on the grass again. The cute brown guy comes over and rubs my side with his head. I pat him, enjoying his warmth.

Melzul sits near me. "You know I'm good at hugs too."

Ha-ha... Is this his attempt to flirt with me?

Except I'm not letting anyone see us cuddling together. Last night, at least the chance of others seeing was low, but now, no, not a chance.

He frowns. "Is it such a shame to be seen with me? I'm a uzain... I mean, yeah, that, I'm a decent male."

Uzain? I think I've heard of...

Oh fuck... Are these bandits that roam the universe?

Fuck... Did he crash on his way to scout here? And... given a chance, is he going to call the rest of his gang and destroy everything?

He blinks at me, seemingly catching onto something. "So... You know about uzains?"

I swallow with my hand too tense to do a thing. I can't even keep stroking the fluffy fur when I... "So... You are one of the bandits."

"I..." He looks away. "Maybe I was, not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Hey, I've never planned to tell you."

"But now I know. I've heard about uzains, but never seen one and don't know how they look, yet... I have to protect my beings and make sure they are safe."

"You can't treat me as if I'm going to be bad for everyone."

I pick up my staff. Even though I can win over him, I doubt I can kill him off, but if that's what it takes to protect the rest of us, I have to give that a try. "Be honest with me. Otherwise... I'm not allowing a potential hazard to be here."

He lifts his hands between us. "Wait a minute, I swear I'm not here to hurt anyone."

"Explain why you're here."

"My spaceship crashed! You saw that. And you saved me, for which I'm grateful."

"And? When you get a chance, you're going to tell the rest of your bandits to raid this place? To take what limited things we got established and kill everyone?"

"Whoa! No! I told you I don't command a battleship anymore. And when I did, we fought the Empire's minions. We—"

"Rob villages and cities when you get to it, too."

He lowers his gaze. "Well... I can't lie about that. I did that, too. I'm a uzain, uzains take what we want. But... I'm... I can't say I'm not a uzain, but I am... Let's say, compared to you, I don't want them to find me even more."

"What does that even mean?"

He sighs. "I... Do I really have to tell you?"

I tap his head with my staff. He doesn't move away and watches the staff as it taps him.

"Melzul, tell me about that."

"But you still won't tell me—"

I glare at him. I'm not joking with him. If anything sounds off... Even if he'll kill me instead, I have to give it my best shot.

He sighs. "Fine, fine. I suppose I can't hide that forever." He winks at me as if he is trying to say that... one day, I can't keep hiding everything from the rest of us either. I sneer at him, not paying attention to the rising tension in my body.

Is there a chance I can win a fight against him for real? Or... What's he going to say?

He says, "I... To be simple, I got into trouble and they are chasing after me. My spaceship was hit when I fled from the planet and I ended up crashing here. So... I'm not heading back and I'm not calling them to rob the village. I just want to stay in a place, in peace."

"What kind of trouble?"

"Is that important... Fine... I lied to them about stupid things and abandoned another uzain, deliberately. So... I was sentenced to work in a terrible place until I'm dead. And... I ran."

"What kind of lie is that?"

He flinches and his eyes widen. "But I'm not lying. I promise I mean every word and all of them are accurate. I swear with my horns."

That's not what I mean, but...

Maybe he means it...

"I'm asking, what did you lie about that got them sending you to work like a slave."

"Well... I lied that the uzain left on his own instead of me abandoning him."

"And that's why you no longer lead a battleship."

"Yes." His head hangs low. There should be no reason for him to lie to me. And what he said seemingly matches up.

I put my staff to the side. "I see."

"So... Are you going to tell me a bit more about what's happening here? I promise I'm not telling anyone."

Except...