Chapter 11

eleven

. . .

ALIL

We bathed with each other in the pond. Even with the hot sun above us, the water kept us cool.

Addy kept himself on the far edge of the pool, trying to impose some silly level of decency, but our eyes kept catching.

Didn't he understand that all decency had left us sometime last night when he'd first crawled into bed with me?

I dipped below the surface of the water, fully submerging and didn't come out again until I couldn't hold my breath for a moment longer.

When I broke the surface, I gulped down air, wading where I was, catching Addy glancing at me over his shoulder again. There was no point in pretending that my entire world hadn't changed with what we had done. Out here, life was full of different opportunities than I had ever allowed myself.

But I was also aware that Addy had been led astray by his friends. He was easily swayed, and I didn't want to be another person misleading him. I wanted him to want this as much as I did.

For a few minutes, before catching myself, I had been so sure that I had simply tried to kiss him. I still thought he wanted to bond with me, but if for whatever reason he chose not to, I would nurse my heartbreak quietly and the memories he had given me would stay with me forever.

Suddenly, Addy shook the water from his hair and climbed out of the pond.

I watched the water cascade off his broad shoulders. My gaze traced down his back, over the large spikes on his shoulders down to the trail of orange scales that led down to his tail.

It swished as he climbed from the pond, flicking water from its length and my mouth went completely dry.

I sank lower, hoping to hide my quickly forming erection.

His body, the fact that he had allowed me to enter it, made me feel things I had never felt before. A strange reverence toward him that I had already had was amplified now. I wanted to carry out his bidding. I wanted to do whatever he asked. Anything for another taste.

Goddess, I was insatiable.

He turned then, catching my eyes as he pulled one of the clean robes off of the shelf.

We had both cleaned the ones we had sullied, and they were draped over the tarp to dry.

All I could think watching the scene unfold was that I could get so used to this. Addy naked, still dripping wet from our shared bath, going about cooking us food.

He ruined the fantasy by pulling the robe over his shoulders and tying it around the waist.

I hid my disappointment by diving back under the water.

When I swam back to the edge, Addy was standing by the shore, waiting for me.

"I'll be at my lookout spot," he informed me.

I nodded.

"Alright."

I watched him walk away, biting my lip nervously.

Once he was gone, I sighed and climbed out.

Ever since I had brought up the bonding kiss—by brazenly trying to kiss him on the mouth repeatedly—things had felt awkward.

Or perhaps it was because neither of us knew how to act after what we had done.

Fully dressed, I sat under the tarp and wondered what to do with myself.

I wouldn't go after Addy. He needed time to think, or distance... I wasn't sure. I only hoped that he didn't regret what we had done.

Even thinking about it made my body flood with warmth and desire.

He had been so sweet. And what alpha would let an omega top them? It was a wonder. Addy may as well be a mystical being. That was how I felt about him right now.

If we bonded, he could do the same to me. I had been wanting that for so many years...

I shook myself.

I would have to stop thinking about sex or I would need another dip in the cold water soon.

What I shouldbe doing was practicing my meditation, stretching, exercising—all the ridiculous things that had never worked very well for me.

Even so, I shut my eyes and listened to my breathing, to the sound of the water and the trees above moving with the breeze.

At least while those alphas had been planning a kidnapping, they had chosen a lovely location for it.

For some time, I managed the quiet meditation, even clearing my mind for the first time in days which was nice.

But then the sound of Addy's approach brought me crashing right back to the present.

My eyes flew open, and I watched as he skirted around trees and bushes toward me.

My shoulders tensed at the way his jaw was set and his brows furrowed.

I was on my feet before he reached me, ready for an argument.

It was clear that after some thought, he was mad at me and the idea that had been in the back of my mind came to the forefront; he regretted what we had done.

I should not have convinced him to make love to me. But no, I couldn't regret it.

"Addy," I said, before he even came to a stop in front of me. "I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry! I liked what we did. In fact, I loved every moment of it, and I will never regret it even if you never want to talk to me again!"

He paused and blinked and then suddenly had to bite back a smile.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that you feel so strongly about it," he said. "Because I came over here to say that if you're sure, then I want to do it."

My eyes widened.

"What?"

He chuckled.

"Well, don't look so shocked now," he said. "I've thought about it and I want you Alil... more than just physically. I also want your heart and soul. I want to spend my life with you and honestly, I'll do whatever I need to for that to be a reality."

He licked his lips, looking suddenly uncertain as my heart galloped.

"My only reservation is that once we return back to the city, you may regret our rash actions out here."

I shook my head, going to him.

He held me at arm's length, searching my face.

"Addy. Do you think anyone would accept what we did, or want us to be together back home?" I asked.

As I expected, he shook his head.

"No," I whispered in agreement. "That is why we must do this here, where the choice is ours."

He took a shuddering breath, his eyes suddenly going wide.

"You sound like Latif," he said, as though just realizing it.

I bit back a smile.

"Well, he is my best friend and we do share a lot of opinions on things... and our opinion on omegas in our society is one of those things."

This time, I searched his face, wondering what he thought of that.

"A choice," I said, "is all we really want."

He shut his eyes and nodded.

"It seems that I owe my brother an apology," he said.

"You were cruel to him," I agreed.

"But I thought—I thought that you wanting freedom meant that you don't want alphas..."

I shook my head in wonder at just how misguided such a sweet alpha could be.

"It has nothing to do with that. Even Latif wanted an alpha mate when it was presented to him, and given the choice to be with you, I am taking it too... Although admittedly, I was planning to be a temple priest."

Addy's stared.

"I don't want you to lose your dreams over being with me."

"Don't be so silly," I chuckled. "I only wanted that because I thought I couldn't have you. I believe I said as much last night, remember?"

He smiled bashfully and nodded, swooping in.

For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me on the lips, but his lips landed on my cheek instead.

I stopped him from pulling all the way back.

"Do you want to kiss me now?" I asked breathlessly. "Right here?"

He shook his head.

"Not yet," he said gently. "Everything has to be perfect."

"Stand here," Addy said, positioning me.

I went wherever he wanted me to because even the gentle touch of his hands on my arms made butterflies erupt in my stomach.

He looked at where I was positioned and nodded, finally satisfied.

"There," he said. "You look perfect."

I bit back a smile, watching him, waiting.

I had adorned my fancy festival clothes again and Addy had worn his too. We were both clean, pretty and ready. If Addy could just stop nitpicking, of course.

I watched him adjust the branches he had tied together in a makeshift arch over us and shook my head.

"It looks beautiful, Addy," I told him for the third time. And it truly was.

He had laid fabric out on the ground at the edge of the pond so that there was a specific spot for the "ceremony" and decorated it with the petals of small purple flowers he had found around the oasis. Those same flowers were woven through the branches of the archway he had erected.

He made an anguished sound as he tried to adjust one of the flowers and I went to him, abandoning my carefully designated spot.

"Oh, no, you're supposed to stay right there," he said when I reached him.

"I know Addy, but?—"

He took me by the hands, leading me back to the spot.

"You know we don't have to do this if you don't want to," I reminded him, and his eyes widened in horror.

"What? No. That's—that's the opposite of what I want."

I raised a brow and he paused, still holding my hand to look into my eyes.

"I'm nervous," he finally admitted. "I'm about to do something wrong and illegal to get the life I've always wanted."

I looked down, suddenly unable to meet his fiery orange gaze.

"I'm putting my morals aside as well as the fear of what we will face later," he admitted. "Despite that, in the back of my mind, I know that none of it matters."

He touched my chin, gently tilting my face up to meet his gaze.

"I know I won't regret this. No matter how despicable it is to do."

"Do you really think it is that bad?" I asked.

He frowned and shook his head.

"That's the problem Alil. Suddenly, it doesn't seem bad to me at all. We should be able to choose who we spend the rest of our lives with... but that doesn't mean the rest of society will feel that way."

"You don't know that," I argued. "Things have been changing lately."

He shrugged loosely.

"Yes, and I was one of the ones pushing back on those changes. There will be others doing the same, I'm sure... but no matter what punishments I face for this, I know we will see our way through it together."

"I guess we will both have to be punished," I said. "After all, I was the one pushing you."

"You weren't?—"

"I was ? — "

"Wait, let's argue about this later," he said, cutting me off. "It's almost time."

My heart suddenly started racing as I followed Addy's gaze through the trees, toward the setting sun.

Then, as we watched, it slowly lowered, bathing us in an orange glow as it went down.

My breath caught as I turned and looked at Addy. All the purple flowers, bathed in orange light—it was just like us.

I shook my head, impressed and moved by the beauty of the moment.

"Addy," I breathed.

He shrugged bashfully.

"I couldn't take you to the top of Mount Ethos," he said. "I couldn't give you a ceremony guided by the alpha council, or a party with our friends and family." He smiled gently. "All I have to give you is my heart and my kiss, with the desert sun and stars as our witness."

I swallowed, suddenly choked with emotion.

"You've given me everything that matters," I whispered when I could finally speak.

His gaze clouded with emotions, and I knew he was feeling as overwhelmed as I was right now.

He shifted closer but then pulled back just as I swayed toward him. He had such lovely lips and I saw how his gaze was fixed on mine, but neither of us tried to close the distance for a moment.

One of us had to move forward, but it seemed we were both too scared to make the first move. Perhaps that was why the alpha council was usually present, to direct the new couple.

Our entire lives hung on this kiss, and it was not something to take lightly. But the alternative—a life without Addy, was too much to bear. So, I reached out, laced my fingers into the front of his robe and pulled him to meet me halfway.

Our lips met in a light brush for a split second that made me gasp and my entire body tingle before Addy suddenly pressed closer.

For a moment, I saw his dusky orange lashes and then my eyes fluttered shut and all that existed was his mouth.

He moved them gently against mine, feeling my lips with his, reminding me to move and I followed the gentle slide and brush until Addy pulled back.

He didn't go far. He couldn't, I was still clinging to the front of his robe, but we parted far enough for our gazes to meet.

It was strange. I had always thought Addy was gorgeous, but somehow, he had never been as beautiful as in this moment, watching me with his gaze filled with love.

"We did it," I whispered, and he nodded, looking as dazed as I felt.

"Can we do it again?" he asked.

I nodded eagerly as he swept me into his arms, his lips seeking mine once more.