16. Ozadus

It is around the sixth visit that I begin to realize that I am intruding on Lisa’s evenings. She usually looks some degree of tired, and she and Zhara seem to have a routine that I have not been following.

Determined tonight to not be a burden, I grab some food on the way over. When Lisa answers the door, there’s surprise on her face as she sees the bags of food. “What’s all this?”

I shrug. “I figure you don’t like cooking after a long day any more than I do. So I thought I could provide a bit of a reprieve.”

A small smile comes across her face. “That would be helpful, thank you.”

Zhara is on her playmat, and she immediately starts gurgling happily when she sees me. I set the food down on the table and then scoop my daughter up into my arms. “And how have you been, Little Miss?”

She babbles something incoherent and I chuckle. Everything about her is so incredible and I can’t believe I’ve missed out on even a moment of her life.

“Wow, you really brought a lot,” Lisa calls from the kitchen.

“I figured you could do with some leftovers too,” I say as I walk with Zhara into the kitchen.

Zhara babbles something enthusiastically and I swing her around in my arms, causing her to giggle.

“Ozadus, please don’t get her too riled up tonight. Yesterday it took me forever to get her to go to sleep,” Lisa says, the exhaustion apparent in her voice.

I clear my throat awkwardly. “I apologize. I’m still not too sure what it is I’m supposed to be doing I suppose.”

She lets out a sigh. “It’s not that what you’re doing is necessarily bad, it’s just not the right timing. Does that make sense?”

“I suppose.” I let out a small chuckle. “Bad timing, huh? That seems to be our story.”

She snorts. “Yeah, something like that.”

I drop the humor so she knows that I’m serious about what I have to say next. “Lisa, I am sorry for how we met. And for how I handled our situation aboard the Emery. I should have let you go when you asked and I should have treated you better.

“And I want to make it up to you. To both of you. I want to be a father to Zhara in whatever way you’ll let me.”

She looks stunned for a moment and then gives me a wary look. “Why? I understand wanting to be in Zhara’s life, but you really want to be a father to her? After only knowing her for a week?”

“The first time you laid eyes on Zhara, was there any question for you on whether or not you wanted to be her mother?” I counter.

Lisa’s adoring look at our daughter is all the answer I need. I nod. “That is the only way I know how to describe how much this child means to me. How I want to give her everything and be there for her and for you in whatever way I can be.”

She gives me a considerate look and then nods. “Okay, I can understand that. But if you’re going to be a father to her and not just someone who comes and plays with her every now and then, you need to step up.”

“Of course,” I answer automatically.

I lost Lisa once, and I have no intention of doing so again. And this time it would mean losing little Zhara as well. I don’t think I could bear being ousted from their lives.

It will be a lot more difficult to stay in Lisa’s favor this time too. This time, it isn’t just me and her messing around and flirting. It isn’t just me trying to win her love. This is something much more serious. This involves her child.

And I know with absolute certainty that Lisa isn’t going to take any shit when it comes to our daughter.

She’s right, it’s time I step it up.

“How can I help?” I ask.

A small smile briefly flickers across Lisa’s face. “That’s the right attitude. First of all, you’ve got to get on the routine. Second of all, you’ve got to help with it. That means diapers, feeding, changing, baths, naps, bedtime, you name it. Think you can handle all that?”

I take a seat at the table. “Tell me everything I need to know.”

The smile stays on Lisa’s face this time as she takes a seat across from me. We spend well over an hour going over every little detail as we eat. Then she takes me around the house and shows me where all of Zhara’s stuff is and what to use when.

By the time we put Zhara to sleep, I have the routine somewhat memorized.

“Still on board with all this?” Lisa asks as she walks me to the door. She says it jokingly, but I can see the conflict in her eyes.

“I am,” I tell her sincerely.

Her shoulders relax. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The next day I come a little earlier and help take care of Zhara while Lisa makes dinner. I play with her and help her get some of her energy out. And for such a small being, Zhara seems to have a lot of it.

“You’re going to be a menace when you can walk.” I chuckle as I watch my little daughter reach for another toy and hurl it at one of her stuffed animals before grabbing another toy to throw. She turns back to me and babbles happily as if to say she is very much aware of this fact.

She has her mother’s spunk alright. And a bit of my attitude, too. In the short time I’ve known her, I’ve come to know so much about her. I want to be there for it all.

Something heavy settles in my heart as I remember I have to leave for a job tomorrow. With any luck it won’t take too long. Except that now any time away feels like too much time. Not when I’ve missed so much already.

Lisa calls us to the kitchen for lunch and we eat together. It feels a little like our dinners on the Emery, only this time there isn’t the tension of mutually assured destruction between us. Everything feels lighter, almost like a real family. Especially with Zhara here now.

“I know, it’s a little burned.”

I turn to Lisa in confusion. “What?”

She gestures to the food. “I burned it a little. Sorry.”

I realize then that I’ve been lost in thought and haven’t been eating. “Oh no, it’s wonderful actually. Much better than anything I could make.”

Lisa laughs. “I don’t know, you did a pretty good job making food with what you had on a ship. Well, except for those smoothies.”

I grimace. “I think I still have some of that gunk floating around in my system somewhere.”

Her laugh turns into that giggle I adore, and her cheeks heat up in embarrassment at the noise. After finding out I had a daughter, I put my original goal of winning over Lisa on the back burner. But it’s moments like these when I remember just how much I want my fated mate in my life. My mate and my daughter.

Not that I’ve given up on the goal. No, I fully intend to prove myself a worthy mate. Part of that though I realize now is proving to Lisa that I can be a good father to Zhara first.

Lisa and I stare at each other for a long moment. I open my mouth to remark on how beautiful she still looks when Zhara apparently becomes bored with the silence. She lets out a loud squeal and slams her little fists into her bowl, splattering food all over her.

Lisa lets out a long, tired sigh and then smirks at me. “Ready to clean up your first food mess?”

I roll up my sleeves and meet her smirk with one of my own. “I think I can handle it.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Oh really? I think I’ll watch then.”

I take Zhara to the bathroom where I proceed to wash her under Lisa’s watchful gaze. After a little help from the girl’s mother, and a lot of splashing on Zhara’s part, our daughter is clean once more.

By that point, Zhara is yawning and Lisa changes her into her night clothes. Together we tuck our daughter in and then quietly tip-toe out of the room.

Once we’re back in the living room, Lisa gives me an approving grin. “Not bad. And she only got you half-soaked during bathtime.”

I look down to see that I am indeed still half-soaked from where I tried to wash Zhara. I chuckle. “I’m amazed at the skill she possesses to be so destructive so young.’

Lisa snickers. “I know. By the time she’s three, she may have made her way up to destroying buildings.”

I nod, pretending to take it seriously. “Cities are always in need of demolishing crews. She could start her career young and make a fortune.”

Lisa nods as if taking it seriously as well. “Hey, then I can retire and let her be the breadwinner.”

We break our serious facades and laugh at that, and then immediately laugh more quietly when we remember Zhara is sleeping.

My fated mate gives me a curious look. “Speaking of careers, when do you have to leave for your job?”

A shadow crosses my face. “Tomorrow.”

Her face falls. “Oh.”

“It won’t be for long,” I quickly reassure her. “I’ll be back soon. I promise.”

“Good. I mean, you know, it’s good for Zhara to have you around.” She averts her gaze, and her cheeks are tinted pink.

I smile. “Thank you again for letting me be a part of her life. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.”

She looks at me again and nods. “You’re welcome. Thank you for being so willing to be a part of hers.”

“Until next time then.”

And with that, I walk out the door, leaving a bit of me behind with them.