12. Valmore

12

Valmore

I pointed down at the chart on the mess hall table as I spoke to my crewmen. "This scan shows craters and swaths of forest leveled by explosions. Whatever is going on, the planet has definitely suffered some type of massive assault… and recently."

Dandini, a scrawny feline tactical officer, traced his finger down a ridge devoid of vegetation. "This peak shows evidence of a technological installation. The scans show traces of Gnaio circuitry. It's way beyond anything the Kavians had on Kavius." He looked up at me. "If you don't mind my saying so."

"I don't mind. What I want to know is what it's doing there."

"It's a high-powered cannon turret, and…" Dandini squinted at the chart. "Yes! See these scratches? They're ru nning down the mountain away from the turret. This gun has been fired. Recently, I'd say."

"So they're fighting back," Palu, a brawny grunt with gray skin and beady eyes, interjected. "What of it? The IPA won't fault them for that."

I grumbled, "What neither of you know is that the IPA has other plans. I've looked over the mission files, and at best, they're eyeing this planet for conquest, not to help."

A whisper went through the assembled crewmen, and Palu glanced over his shoulder. The group parted to reveal Hazel standing in the doorway. She stared at us with huge eyes. How much of that did she hear? Most or all of it, I'd say, from the shocked expression on her face.

Dandini grabbed the charts and hustled away. The rest of the group followed suit. Some sat down at the tables and pretended to eat. They all retreated well away, leaving me alone with Hazel.

She cleared her throat, threw back her shoulders, and barged over to the service counter. To my surprise, she served herself some of the meat I usually had. And she didn't just slice off a small piece for herself either; she grabbed an entire slab of it, along with a human-sized fork and knife.

She almost dropped the tray under its weight as she teetered to the nearest table and set it down. I allowed myself to sink onto the bench next to her. "You don't have to do this," I murmured in her ear. "Whatever it is you're trying to prove, it isn't necessary. Just eat your regular food."

"I like meat." She attempted to cut a piece off, succeeding in shaving off a sliver. She forked it into her mouth.

She glanced around the mess hall and immediately looked down when she noticed everyone watching her. She started cutting again. "When in Rome, as they say."

"Rome?"

"If we're headed to a Kavian home, I ought to get used to their cuisine. Not to mention I'm the mate of a Kavian."

I blinked. I wasn't sure what to say. Had she come to accept me that quickly?

She continued, "I'm an IPA officer, and helping those in need is what I do. Regardless of what I've been through the past few days, I can't just stay in my quarters for the rest of the mission. I want to see everything you've got on the planet and the evidence of conflict. If there are Kavian refugees under attack from the Ranxi or someone else, then I'll do everything in my power to make sure the IPA takes action."

I didn't want to believe her—not after our argument the other day. "Why are you doing this? You don't have to."

"I do have to. I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do. If the IPA left the Kavians hanging out to dry in the past, then we have an obligation to make sure that doesn't happen again."

"Well, as I was telling the crew, the IPA has other plans for this mission. While they had you under the impression that this was a simple recon mission with a little bit of assistance thrown in, there's much more to it."

"Like what?"

"The Academy of Sciences Research Division had sent the vessel Quest to study this planet. They assessed that it was a hospitable planet for humans, outside of a few violent species. Now that the IPA knows about it, they won't leave it alone. They'll put an end to any hostilities, sure, but then they'll force-relocate the Kavians to make room for a human colony."

She whipped around and gasped in shock. I waited for her to argue back, but she only wilted as she thought it over. "You're right. The IPA has done that many times before. They probably plan to do the same thing now. That explains why they sent me out to investigate in the first place. Well, I'm not going to let it happen."

I waited to see if she was joking. When her expression remained serious and determined, I blurted out, "You're serious!"

"Maybe the IPA won't listen, but my parents will. There's a reason they're so renowned in the organization. They have some pull, especially my father."

"How so?"

"My dad is Admiral Whitney Simmons. He's Emissary of Distinction to the High Court of Centauri. If he found out the Kavians were under threat and the IPA did nothing to help them—or worse, that the IPA actively worsened the Kavians' already precarious situation—he could file Articles of Impeachment against the entire IPA. He could haul the organization in front of the High Court for violating its charter. He could even shut down the organization and charge Command with Crimes against Civilians."

I stared at her with my mouth open. "You would do that?"

She nodded. Her clear eyes gazed back into mine without blinking. "Being the daughter of decorated IPA officials has its benefits. If Command won't play ball, we have other options."

Hazel picked up another thread of meat and put it in her mouth. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. Surely she couldn't… She wouldn't… She complained about her parents controlling her life, and yet …

She broke eye contact and tried again to cut off a piece of meat. I cleared my throat with difficulty. "Here. Let me cut that for you."

I pulled out my blade. Her cheeks colored again, and she smiled while I sliced off one section after another. I cut a pile that would feed her for a week, and I still didn't make a dent in the haunch.

I licked my blade clean and re-sheathed it. "Thank you," she murmured. She cut a slice into dainty pieces and put one in her mouth.

"Thank you ," I said. "I know it would be hard for you to contact your parents. I don't expect…"

"It wouldn't be near as hard as standing by and watching the Kavians suffer all over again. If contacting my parents helps at all, I'll do it. Anyway, we might not need to. We don't even know if the Kavians are really on the planet, and if you're right that they're defending themselves, they might not need our help at all."

She really wanted to help me—to help us. She would call in the big guns to protect the Kavians. My heart leaped at the thought. Could there possibly be some hope that she might…?

I pushed that thought out of my mind. She was doing this because it was the right thing to do, not because of me. She would never forgive me for lying to her, and I didn't blame her.

Hazel put down her knife and fork with elaborate care. "I think I got myself more than I can finish. Could you refrigerate it for me? I'll finish it later."

She got to her feet and crossed over to the door. Just before she walked out, she turned back and smiled at me from over her shoulder, then disappeared.

I looked around me in a stupor. Did that conversation really just happen?

I sprang to my feet and raced after her. "Hazel! Wait."

She stopped in the corridor and faced me. I began, "I just wanted to ask you if…" How could I get this out? "I was wondering if we could… start over. I know you probably can't put what happened behind you, but maybe we could try again. Just to get to know each other, without all that other stuff."

Her face went through a series of confused expressions before she settled on one. She examined me closely. "I'd like that too, but I could only do it if I knew for certain that you weren't hiding anything else from me. If you can give me your word of honor you aren't keeping any more secrets, then we can try it."

"I'm not." I corrected myself. "At least… not like before."

"What is it?" she demanded. "If there's something you aren't telling me, I have to know what it is. "

"It's just… You know… The whole mating bond thing." I tried to shrug it off like it meant nothing—as if. "It… makes it difficult for me to… How do I put it…?"

She waited for me to say something intelligible, but the words wouldn't come. "It makes it difficult for you to what? How am I supposed to understand where you're coming from if you don't communicate? What do you think starting over means?"

"Yeah, I know." I floundered to pull myself together. Why did she throw me so far off my game? "It makes it difficult for me to… detach."

Her eyes flew open. "Detach—from me?"

I nodded in stupid silence. If that didn't explain it, nothing would.

"I understand. If it makes any difference, what happened in the mess hall makes it difficult for me to detach too—from you."

I jolted. "Really?"

"I overreacted when you told me you were part of the plot. My instincts told me something was off when I first came on board. I thought maybe you took advantage of me in the mess hall, but I realize now that you didn't. I really did want you. I enjoyed it. I was just surprised when you told me the truth. We're okay now. I want you to understand that."

I nodded again. My voice failed me.

Hazel looked away. "Maybe we can work on all of this by working on the XVC3 situation. Maybe we can find a way to deal with each other without… that ."

"I'd like that."

She smiled and continued down the corridor to her quarters. I stumbled after her for lack of anything better to do. In fact, I had plenty to do, but the idea of walking away from her made me sick.

She entered her quarters and turned in my direction again. Her eyes widened, and she smiled. She looked happier and more… accessible than I remembered since she came on board.

"Is there anything else?" she asked.

I shook my head. What more could there be besides everything? I didn't want to leave. What the hell was I doing with my life? I shouldn't have been on my way back to the bridge to run this ship. I should've been going into her quarters to be with her. My destiny lived in that compartment.

One of these days, she would leave forever. She might have made up her mind to help the Kavians on XVC, but that would end too. Then she would go back to her boring old life in the IPA.

Thinking about that moment stabbed me in the gut. It made this gnawing ache in my stomach a thousand times worse. So this was what separating from one's mate felt like. I heard all the old stories about Kavians fated to madness and misery after losing their mates. I didn't understand it then, but I sure did now.

Hazel took hold of the door, getting ready to close it. "I guess I'll see you soon."

I nodded again. She hesitated, then shut the door. She didn't look through the porthole to see if I was still standing there.

I tore myself away, feeling more miserable than ever. Nowhere on this ship—or anywhere in the known universe, for that matter—offered any refuge from this hollow agony. Only one place could make it go away, and that was at her side.

I hadn't earned it yet, but I intended to soon.