Chapter 5

Annabel and William had made a hasty but courteous exit, leaving Louisa to face Julius alone. Across the table, he looked impassive, stoic, unreadable.

He was in his shirtsleeves, his snowy white silk cravat a study of precision beneath his shaved chin. His bronze waistcoat hugged his lean torso, and his tan breeches followed the sinewy line of his legs, tucking into tall, polished riding boots.

After casting through her mind for the first question, Louisa asked, "How do you take your coffee?"

A brow arched, "Pardon?"

"We'd agreed to get to know each other so, I believe I should start with the safest questions," Louisa smiled,

"Mostly black, one sugar and a splash of milk," he replied, his tone still guarded. "I know how you take your tea, Louisa, usually weak with two sugars and honey instead of milk. When you are perturbed, you take an abundance of milk instead."

Softly surprised, she asked, "You do?"

"I have an unnerving habit of noticing everything around me," Julius replied.

Her eyes dropped to the cup in her hand and the half-moon that were her nails. "What have you done this past year?"

"Nothing exciting, if that is what you mean," he replied, and his words still carried the guarded tone. "As for everything else, I have made sure the ducal estate is running how it should. You have nothing to worry about."

It took Louisa a hair longer than she normally would to deduce what he meant. "Are you insinuating that I was worried about money?"

"You weren't?"

"No," Louisa kept her tone calm. "I was asking about your personal affairs, Julius. Have you been well? Have you travelled? Was there an intriguing event that drew your attention? Have you picked up any pastimes? That was what I'd asked."

He shifted and stretched out a long leg. "For the most part no, but I have added pugilism to my interest. The matches help my restlessness."

"Why boxing?"

"It's an outlet for me," he replied. "Being in the war… I am used to being active."

His answer was perfectly reasonable, but the slight pause in his words made her question if he was telling her the full truth. It was not time to press him though, so she shelved that question to ask later down the road.

"What do you plan on doing today?" she asked.

"Honestly, trying to dissuade you from going to that event at Vauxhall," he said.

"Are you reneging on your agreement then?" she asked.

"No, I want you to renege on it," Julius scowled. "Vauxhall is not a safe place for women over the board but especially ladies of our class."

She smiled, "When we attend, you will see that there is nothing to be scared about. You'll enjoy it, Julius."

His eyes dropped to her plate. "Is that all you will be eating?"

"Yes, I must stick with the slimming plan Doctor Hammond prescribed. If not, I shall be wearing a circus tent for a ballgown very soon," Louisa replied. "The best compliment I have ever gotten was that my looks are tolerable, and various persons had made it clear that I was exceedingly plump for the current fashion?—"

Julius blinked. "Exceedingly plump? You?"

"Yes."

She felt his stark stare before Julius shook his head and snorted, "I cannot decide if you are jesting or if you are serious."

"The latter."

"Louisa, you are perfect as you are," he said, finding her eyes and holding it. "You are not too plump or exceedingly plump. Times are changing and men adore women with a voluptuous figure.

"As I explained how people would spread rumors to spoil a marriage, it is the same when someone or multiple others convince you to believe something that is completely irrational purely because of their spite and jealousy."

While his words were assuring, the conditioning she had gotten from years in Town, the many social cuts from other ladies all they back to the cruel voices finishing school, pinpointing her many shortcomings were so deeply ingrained, it felt impossible to suddenly dismiss them.

She changed the subject. "When you said you could either tell me of show me who you were, did you mean it?"

"Yes," he replied. "But which do you choose?"

"I'd like you to show me."

He wiped his mouth, "Are you dressed enough for travel?"

"I can get a coat and gloves," she replied, still mystified about what he meant.

Stepping away, Julius nodded. "Go fetch them and join me in the foyer. It will be a journey."

It was mid-afternoon when Louisa stepped down from the carriage and looked up at the resplendent manor before her; a sprawling faded grey great house that dated back to Henry the Eighth. The garden rolled seemed to wrap around the house from the left side of the manor, where a massive fountain stood tinkling.

It was quite a sight to behold, the walls arching, its windows polished to perfection and the grounds were immaculate. Grudgingly, Louisa could see why Julius favored the countryside. The idyllic charm, the long stretches of forestry and glens with windflower did have a certain lure to it.

A footman came to the door, but Julius waved him off, taking Louisa's gloved hand and took her down. The moment her half-boots met the ground, her gaze swept up to the towering spires and commanding crenellations.

It did not look like a simple Georgian home, rather, a castle torn out of medieval myth. She halfway expected to see a dragon's horned head lifted over the tallest tower.

"Is Rose home?" Louisa asked, excited to finally meet his sister.

"I believe so, but she is most likely in her rooms," Julius nodded to the grand staircase, floating up to the levels above. "If so, we will meet her later on. I need to show you part of my childhood you do not know about."

He ushered her up the stairs, Julius nodded an older man who bowed to them and said, "I'll introduce you to Simmonds later on. I know its rude, but time is of the essence."

His worrying words made pinpricks pepper the back of her neck as Julius rested a hand on the small of her back and they came to a door, it did not look neglected but when he slid a key out of his pocket and turned the lock, she stepped into a dark, musty room.

It was a man's study and while they were cobwebs in the corners and a layer of dust on the large mahogany desk, an open book still laid there, a pen was cocked on the blotter as if someone had dropped it there in haste.

The room looked preserved, like a fossil coated in amber, but seeing Julius' jaw stiffen, his mandible so pronounced she knew he was grinding his teeth.

"This was my father's study." He said.

"I assumed as much," Louisa nodded.

"He was inflexible man and had an antipathy toward any kind of weakness or failure," Julius said while rounding the table. "If I did not earn all high marks at Eton, when I came home from the holiday, all and every tiny pleasure from the sickroom. my windows were bolted shut, and every diversion removed.

"My meals were simple and tasteless, days on end and I had to prove myself in a series of home tests before I could go back to Eton," he said. "Back then, I was only a lowly Earl's son, I have no idea my family had ties to a dukedom."

"Not even when you went to war?"

"I only knew after I returned," he said. "That some second uncle had named me heir to his dukedom. By that time, I had…"

Garnered a distinct sexual appetite that might appall you.

"…decided that my fate would be a solitary one," he added calmly. "The war changed me; Louisa and I don't know if it was for the better of the worse."

First, when he'd discovered his sexual tastes ran to the darker side, he'd honed his skills of observation further, and this time, he turned, hoping to find anything by pity on her face. While her expression was dimmed, he didn't see any trace of pity or overbearing sympathy.

Louisa was pure, good, innocent and na?ve, and he wanted her to stay that way…but if they agreed to be husband and wife in everything and the name; he would have to find a way to tell her.

In sexual matters, as with everything else, he had to be in control, but he didn't know how she would take to—if their relationship grew deeper—knowing what he wanted, how he wanted her bound and begging for his touch.

That conversation is for another time.

"Julius—"

"Oh my!" a tender voice cut through the air, making Louisa and Julius's head to snap to the door where Rose stood, unsure. "I am so sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt."

He spun to the door, surprised to see Rose there. Normally, she preferred to be out of sight and notice, but there she was, in a gentle blue dress and eyes bright. It seemed that she was having a better day than others.

Reaching for her hands, she freely gave it to him. "I saw your carriage from my room and tried to find you. I was not aware you had company."

"Not any company, Rose," he shifted on his feet to reveal Louisa sitting there. "Louisa is here, you two can finally meet."

Rose beamed and circled around him to approach Louisa who was standing still in hesitation, but embraced Rose when she was in arm's length. "I am so glad to meet, dear."

"So am I," Rose replied. "After all our letters, I am so happy to see you in person. I feel as if I already know you."

"As do I," Louisa replied, her expression losing all the hesitation from before. She looked purely delighted at meeting her friend. "And do not feel sorrowful about not attending the party last night."

Rose's cheeks' tinged pink, "I did not feel well last night."

"I completely understand," Louisa nodded. "I imagine you are feeling better today, yes? Shall we have tea?"

"I'd love to, yes," Rose replied.

"I'll ring the maids for you," Julius said, discreetly exiting the room and heading down to the kitchens.

He knew he could have easily rung for the maids but he felt he needed some air and a moment to think how to approach revealing that secret to Louisa.

Or do I have to say anything at all?

He arranged for the two to get their tea and finger food and on the way back to the room, he decided to give them their privacy and diverted to his bedroom. In his closet, he crouched and lifted the lid of a trunk and gazed down at the assortment of silky ropes and blindfolds.

Years ago, when he'd realized his predictions, he had attended a club that was tailored to patrons of a certain nature, and there he had seen the varied stages of carnality.

It was the first time he had an array of odd implements on tables and walls and then, through the crenelations, he had seen a man, clad in full riding habit wield a paddle on a woman's backside or a woman dressed like Marie Antoinette employing a leather flail crop to a man's back, as he was bound face-down on a table.

"Your Grace," Simmonds said placidly from behind him. "Her Grace is asking for you."

Casually, Julius closed the lid and stood, "Thank you, Simmonds. How was Rose last evening?"

"She surprised us," he replied. "She joined my wife while she was knitting and asked to learn. Of course, my Isla obliged. I do believe that you will be asked to source yarn and needled soon."

"Knitting," Julius echoed in surprise.

"Surprised me too," Simmonds replied then bowed.

Casting a last look to the trunk, Julius left to rejoin the ladies and entered to see the two, their heads together and whispering like conspirators. Louisa looked at him and smiled, eyes glimmering secretly.

"Should I hide the family jewels?" he asked dryly.

"We want to go riding," Rose said, bouncing on her seat.

His gaze flickered to Louisa, "And where do you desire to go?"

"Just around the estate," his wife replied. "Where I imagine she is comfortable. Would you like to ride with us? Even though I don't have a riding habit with me, I think we shall be fine."

"I would," he replied. "I think the hounds would like to stretch their legs too."

"Hounds?" Louisa looked between him and Rose. "What hounds?"

"We have four Scottish deerhounds," Rose replied. "Sometimes, they keep my company but other times they are out in the barns with the horses of the groundmen keep them occupied."

Louisa bit a corner of her lip and Julius felt the odd urge to press his thumb on her chin and force her lip out. He was sure it would be slick and swollen.

Clearing his throat, and fighting the urge down, he said, "I think that is enough for today, Louisa and I need to get back to London."

Her face fell and while he hated disappointing her, especially when she was so delightful and happy, he felt it was time to cut the visit short. Her lips curved down for a moment, but she stood and hugged him anyway.

"We'll return, I promise." He held her shoulders and smiled. "Maybe then, we can take the hounds out."