Chapter 32- Jeremy

I was grateful I was in the office that afternoon and not in the garage. My hands shook after I left Lauren at her car, all the adrenaline having left my body. When Rachel told me Lauren stormed out of the café after seeing us, my stomach lurched. I was an idiot not to think about how I would feel if Lauren was at lunch with some guy friend I didn’t know.

Everything’s fine. You explained. This isn’t the same as before .

When I’d been with Kat, I’d flirted openly with other women when we were in a fight. I would pretend I had no idea what she was talking about when she called me on it, but I was well aware of my actions. She’d done the same to me—sitting on my friends’ laps, dancing with other guys, whatever, but it didn’t change the fact that I’d been a complete dick. Today wasn’t that, but it scared the shit out of me anyway. Lauren held my heart in her hand and squeezed when she called me an asshole. The fear that coursed through my body thinking she might be done with me before I even got a chance to test the waters as her... something.

We should probably put a label on that.

Thankfully, Rachel didn’t press me on what happened in front of Mike. She didn’t even press me on it when we returned to the shop. She’d come from a toxic relationship similar to mine and Kat’s, and now that she was dating someone decent, she understood that I’d do whatever I needed to make Lauren a priority. She did request that invite to happy hour, but I figured it was too soon to make that call.

By the time I got home to shower before heading to Lauren’s, I was spent, but there was no way I wasn’t going to her house, so it was an iced coffee on the way over to hopefully wake me up. To be safe, I got one for Lauren, too; although tacos and coffee did not sound like a great combination.

Even though we’d left things settled at the café, and she’d texted me twice saying she was sorry for overreacting, I still felt like there were weights tied to my ankles as I walked up to her door. I knocked and heard her yell to come in.

“Hey, I come bearing coffee, if you want it. I needed a jolt of something after work.”

I held out her cup.

“Coffee always, yes. But maybe after tacos because yuck together. Anyways, eat! Try an empanada; it will change your life.”

“You said that about the falafel before. How many times is take-out going to change my life?”

“Well, it depends on if you’re getting take-out from the right places, Jer. Hopefully, a lot.”

I shook my head and tried the food. It was good, but I couldn’t say my life felt different after. I didn’t want my life to feel different. It finally felt like I was on the upswing of all the shit I’d put myself through.

“So, tell me about the job. What’s the what?”

“Ah, well? I think everything is good. I did have to tell her about my misdemeanor charges before she ran the background check, but she seemed like she was willing to look past that if everything came back as it should.”

“I’m sorry, your what now?”

“Oh.” I cleared my throat. “I got arrested after a fight with my ex-manager when I was twenty-one. Misdemeanor assault and disturbing the peace.”

“Did you go to jail ?”

“I mean, for a few hours, yeah. Until my grandma came and got me. My parents had already washed their hands of me by then. This was kind of the bottom of my spiral before I decided I had to get my shit together.”

“I can’t believe you’re a felon . Do you have any prison tats?”

I laughed at her ridiculousness.

“I am not a felon because I was neither charged nor convicted of a felony. I got community service, and I picked up a lot of trash.”

“That story doesn’t make you sound hardcore at all.”

“I’ll try to come up with a better one, so I don’t embarrass you in the future. I don’t want anyone to think you’re dating an upstanding citizen or something equally as awful.”

“That’s very considerate, thank you.”

She grinned, and we cleaned up the remnants of dinner. She got happy all over again when she remembered her iced coffee was in the fridge, so that was a bonus.

I sank into her couch, which I had learned was velvet and not whatever other fabric I thought it might be, and willed myself to stay awake. We needed to have a conversation. Laur had other ideas. She immediately crawled into my lap, facing me—her body in this position was now familiar. Her legs were smooth under my thumbs until they broke out in goosebumps.

“Laur, can we talk about today?”

“I’m certain that we can. But do we have to?”

She wouldn’t meet my eyes, and this was a difficult feat, being that her face was a total of three inches from mine.

“I promise it’ll be painless.”

She sighed, but at least she looked at me then.

“You realize you’re very important to me, right?” I asked, my tone cautious.

“I... yeah, I think so.”

“Okay. Well, then, know so. I’m extremely into you.”

She squirmed in my lap, and I had to stop her before she distracted me.

“I just... I don’t want you to assume the worst when something happens. And maybe I don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt with my history, but I want you to know that I trust you, and I hope you can trust me. At least, eventually.”

Her expression softened, and she melted into me a little more.

“Jer, I do trust you. Today was... well, it was embarrassing. But I kept thinking that there was no way this thing between us could be this easy, and when I saw you with Rachel, my mind was like, ‘Aha! It isn’t that easy!’ And I let it dictate my actions. I’m so sorry.”

She rested her forehead against mine and wrapped her arms around my neck. It was easy to pull her tighter and breathe her in.

“For the record, getting here would not be classified as easy. We were both idiots. But I agree with you that it feels like we’ve been together this way for a long time, and it’s hard to remind myself that it’s still new.”

“Mhm,” she murmured, her mouth dangerously close to mine.

“And one last thing?” I asked as she pulled back to look at me again. “Can we stop saying ‘this thing’ when talking about us? Like, can I call you my girlfriend and be done with it?”

Her face slowly lit up.

“Are you asking me to go steady? Are you going to let me wear your letterman jacket?”

“I think it’s still in my closet. I’ll bring it over next time.”

She leaned in to kiss me, but I gripped her sides tightly.

“Is that a ‘ yes?’” I asked, poised to tickle her.

“I’m going to need to think about it, Jer. This is all very sudden.”

She couldn’t even pretend to hide her smile at this point because she had no poker face whatsoever. She was very amused with herself, though.

“Such a brat,” I said in her ear before I dug my fingers into the spot in her sides that I knew would make her lose her mind.

She squealed at a pitch previously unknown to the human ear before she gave in.

“Yes! Okay! You’re my boyfriend! I’ll order a shirt with your face on it tomorrow!” I stopped tickling and let her right herself in my lap and breathe. “Unfair. But I’ll allow it because, yes, I was being a brat.”

She stuck her tongue out at me and gasped when I closed the distance between us and sucked it into my mouth. I kissed her in earnest then, glad we were done with that conversation. The fatigue that had been weighing on me was nearly forgotten when she tugged lightly at my hair and kissed me back with the same intensity.