Chapter 31- Lauren

T rue to his word, Jer got my car back to me by Saturday evening, and he stopped short of making me sign in blood that I’d never miss an oil change and always bring my car to him if something stopped working. I was very happy to have my little yellow bug home. He’d baked at my house on Sunday morning to have some new things to take to his interview, plus he still had a few other items in my freezer.

Now, it was Sunday night, and I was spread out in my bed like a starfish, wondering how it was even big enough to fit both of us when he was here. His absence was tangible. I knew I was being dramatic, and I didn’t care. I slept better with him here; I hadn’t begun a project in the middle of the night in over a week. I sighed and tried to get comfortable regardless.

LAUR : I want to text you that I miss you in my bed.

JEREMY : Oh yeah? You should do it. I think I’d love it.

LAUR : Nah, it’s probably a little too intense. I better not.

JEREMY : Always the voice of reason.

LAUR : You’re going to do great tomorrow, you know.

JEREMY : I hope so. If not, I’ll rely on my exceptional good looks and wink at her or something.

LAUR : I’m pretty sure she’s, like, late forties with a husband and kids.

JEREMY : You say this like cougars don’t hit on me all.the.time.

LAUR : There are certain things I don’t need to be made aware of, Jer.

JEREMY : Noted. Thanks for the vote of confidence. I’ll see you tomorrow night? I can bring dinner over.

LAUR : Can’t wait.

JEREMY : Night, baby

LAUR : Goodnight

Sleep came easier after that.

JER HAD TEXTED THE next morning that he thought things had gone well. She had him fill out some paperwork for references and a background check, which, to me, sounded like the job was as good as his. I didn’t love that he’d have to go to work at some ungodly hour twice a week, but he was so excited it was hard to worry about it.

“You’re less chaotic. What are you doing? Meditating? Yoga? Getting laid on the reg?” Christian asked in an accusatory tone while we were both between clients. I hadn’t worked with him for any length of time since Jer and I were unofficially official. Or whatever we were. I shrugged.

“Getting laid, then. You finally did something about the lumberjack man.”

I almost snorted then.

“That’s a very personal and invasive question, Christian.”

“Says the woman who explained to me in detail her night with the man with the fetish for—”

“Okay! Please don’t make me revisit that! Yes, Jer and I are kind of together. Like he texts me and stays over and takes me out. It’s nice .”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s very nice. That man is solid like an oak tree.”

“You can’t have him. No matter how pretty you are.”

“Straight men that look like him are a tragedy.”

“ Jealous .”

He hummed in resignation and went to set up for his next appointment.

I offered to pick up lunch for both of us later to make up for my sassiness. When I walked into the café, my eyes landed on a couple sitting at a table off to the side of the order counter. Something acidic rose in my throat when I realized that half of that couple was supposed to be mine .

Jer’s back was to me, and he was sitting across from Rachel Turner, one of the prettiest girls to ever grace the halls of Emberwood High. She ran in the same circle as Jesse and Jer in school, but I didn’t know her well otherwise. She was laughing and rolling her eyes at him, her hand swatting his shoulder until her gaze landed on mine. Her mouth opened, and she looked like she was going to call out to me, but I turned on my heel and got the hell out of there.

What the fuck? What the actual fuck?!

I stopped once I made it to the alcove of the pharmacy entrance next door and tried to dislodge the lump in my throat, swallowing hard.

“Laur...” I jumped at his closeness, not having heard him approach.

“Do not ‘Laur’ me. You fucking asshole,” I hissed.

He stepped back like I’d physically hit him.

“Whoa, whoa. What is it that you think is happening?”

“You’re out with Rachel fucking Turner after telling me you wanted to ‘do this’ with me,” I got out, adding air quotes to express my disdain for his vague explanation of what we were even doing .

Maybe this wasn’t supposed to be exclusive to him. Tears suddenly overflowed from the corners of my eyes, and I frantically pushed them away with the heels of my hand.

“No no no no. No, I’m not. I am the third wheel on a lunch date between Rachel and her boyfriend , Mike Delgado. They both work at the shop, and we all decided to grab lunch together. He was in the bathroom when you came in, Laur. I will walk you back in there and introduce you to them both, I swear to god.”

He’d stepped back toward me, his fingers tentatively reaching for my hip. I turned slightly, out of his reach.

“You’re not there with her? Because that’s not what that looked like.” Embarrassment crept across my collarbone and up through my cheeks.

“Can you please come sit with me?” His voice was strained, and the look on his face only conveyed fear.

I nodded once and followed him to a bench in front of the pharmacy. I sat with at least a foot left between us.

“I... Lauren, look at me, please.”

Reluctantly, I took a deep breath and affixed my gaze to his.

“I would not, ever, do that to you. Okay? I get that I do not have a great track record as a boyfriend, but I’m not... I’m not that guy.”

The embarrassment had now fully settled in and made itself at home in the pit of my stomach. “

“I...You’re saying you guys have never...”

He cleared his throat and sighed.

“Rachel and I have known each other a long time, and we hooked up a grand total of once. Years ago. It was a non-event, but I’m not going to lie about it.”

The green flame of jealousy sparked but stayed under control.

“Oh. Well, I kind of hate that. But neither of us has exactly been saintly in our pasts, I guess.”

“I’m sorry. I truly didn’t think twice about hanging out with them because they’re just my work friends. We occasionally go to lunch or grab a drink after work, but it’s not often. I should have thought about it, but please—”

“Jer, just. Okay. It’s okay. I’m not going to tell you that you can’t hang out with your friends... I didn’t know she was a friend. And I’m sorry for calling you an asshole.” I swallowed hard. Those words didn’t want to come out.

“Hey...it obviously makes you uncomfortable, and if I’d thought about it, I would have realized that I’d be losing my mind if you were at lunch with a guy who had ever touched you. So, I won’t, going forward. Okay?”

“What? You can’t not go out with your friends. That’s...”

“Laur, it’s not like we’re talking about me never seeing my best friends again. If you want to get to know them, I can invite them to happy hour. You’re not making me choose because there’s not a choice to make. I told you I wanted to keep you, and I meant it.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

The fight left my body as he spoke, though. I wouldn’t have asked him to choose, but thinking about him ever being with Rachel Turner, with her perfect warm, bronzed skin and wild curly hair, conjured images in my brain that were unkind.

“Oh, absolutely. There’s this girl who makes me completely insane. Now, will you please scoot over so I can touch you?”

I scooted down the bench a few inches, and he met me in the middle.

“I’m doing the thing, Jer. And I don’t want to do the thing.”

“What thing?”

“The thing we talked about. How we bring out the worst in ourselves in relationships.”

“But look at us, communicating openly about it.”

“Yeah. Maybe. I’m still sorry.”

“Everything is fine. Let’s get you the food you came in for, and I’ll walk you to your car, yeah? How’s it running, by the way?”

“Fine. Show off .”

He wove his fingers through mine and pulled me off the bench back toward the café. Thankfully, Rachel and Mike politely ignored our existence while I ordered food to go, and Jer kissed me at least twelve times before he let me leave.

“I’ll get tacos for dinner tonight, okay?” he said after finally letting me sit down in my driver’s seat.

“How about I’ll get tacos. It’s far past my turn, anyway. I’ll see you later.”

“I’ll see you then.”

I watched him walk back to the café, his hands in his pockets, and I cursed my temper for making me look like such a jealous monster.