Chapter 9

Winnie

B efore I can respond, Axel goes on, “The rest of us didn’t even have a chance to toss our hats into the ring.”

My mouth drops open slightly as I try to process his words.

What hats? What ring?

And why the actual hell does he sound sad?

I want to go to him, hug him, comfort him, because that’s what my boys have always done for me when I need it, and that’s what I do for them.

Max’s eyes are on me, and his expression stops me. He’s expectant, like he’s waiting for me to fix everything but I don’t know what to do. My mind is boggled.

I glance down at my hands, twisting my fingers. Bad time to realize I didn’t bother putting on a bra and it’s chilly in the house. My nipples are standing at attention .

Not now, girls.

I turn my attention back to Axel. Max. Axel. Max.

“ Have you chosen Max, baby?” Jack’s voice is low.

“Um,” I hesitate.

Max’s hands are fisted in his lap. My eyes flit to Axel. His jaw is clenched.

“Max and I have… an arrangement,” I stammer. “It… I mean. We didn’t tell anyone because…” I remember the reasoning Max gave me last night and use it. “It would have been incredibly awkward. I mean, people, as a rule, don’t announce ‘Hey, your brother and I are… something! But we haven’t defined the relationship or anything!’ “ Shit. I said relationship . I shoot a furtive look at Max and his hands have relaxed. I begin again, “People don’t just shout out their personal business. Especially not to the siblings of the guy they kiss. Right?”

“I don’t mean to sound crass,” Leo says. “But the thing between you and Max has been just kissing?”

“Are you asking how far we’ve gone?” I wrinkle my nose trying to stave off the thought of Max Hammer’s head buried between my thighs. “Because that is kind of crass, Leo.”

He has the decency to look a little ashamed. But just a little.

I wait for Max to back me up on this. But it’s Mason who speaks from where he sits on the arm of Gunnar’s armchair. “Was it your idea to keep it a secret or was it Max’s?”

“Hey…” Max cuts in, the word sounding an awful lot like a warning .

I glance around the room at all my boys. The way they look at me, the hurt I can see they’re barely holding in… it’s all so confusing. I don’t know what to do, to say. Why are they this upset about me kissing Max? What the hell is this all about?

I shrug helplessly at Mason. “Initially? It was Max who wanted to keep it between the two of us. And he was right. It is the sort of thing you keep private. I agree with him on that one hundred percent, especially now that I see how you’re all reacting to us having this tiny little–”

Mason draws in a deep breath, then lets it out in a huff. “Max wanted to keep it private,” he spits out private like it’s a swear, “because we all have… or had , I guess…” he shoots a blistering glare at Max before returning his gaze to me, his eyes softening. “Because we all had a pact.”

“A pact?” I echo, confused.

From the armchair, Gunnar nods. “We all agreed to the terms before 1 Girl, 10 Hammers started filming. It was not a decision any of us made lightly.”

“A pact,” I repeat, flatly this time. “I don’t understand what the hell you mean. A pact to do what?”

Leo pushes off the wall, his eyes gentle as he strides to my side, tucking a strand of his tousled beach blond hair behind his ear.

“A pact to never get involved with you in a romantic way.” His hands are on my shoulders, sliding gently down my arms. “That’s why we said no to the spin-off. Not because none of us wanted to pursue you as a love interest. But because we all wanted to.”

“It’s why we made the pact in the first place. If all of us can’t have you, none of us can have you,” Diesel mutters with a delicate strum of his guitar, his fingers rippling expertly across the strings. He shoots daggers at Max. “Apparently someone didn’t understand the assignment.”

I’m flabbergasted, like… one part of my brain is screaming at me to say something because I hate it when the boys argue, but the other part of my brain is like What the fresh hell are words and how do I make any come out of my mouth ?

Pulling away from Leo, I jam my eyes shut. My head is whirling and I need to breathe. In, out, you can do it, girl. In, out.

As my eyes reopen, Mason stands up from his perch on the arm of the chair, and our eyes lock. There’s a subtle arch to his brow, as slight but as fully captivating as his smile. I’m struck by the look he gives me. There isn’t a speck of denial in his expression, only playful tenderness. Leo’s words, Diesel’s words, nothing is being refuted.

Instead, Mason stands straighter and his smile slides into something a lot more secretive as his gaze drops to my mouth. Suddenly, his tantalizing lips are the most interesting puzzle I didn’t even know I was waiting to solve.

Gunnar snags my attention next as he rises from the chair and stands beside Mason. His hypnotic blue eyes catch mine, momentarily stealing my breath. Fortune favors the bold. His favorite quote by Virgil is tattooed on his left forearm, and the way he looks at me now, with bold determination in his gaze, is almost like I’m the fortune to be won.

What in the world is happening right now?

Leo steals my attention back when he takes a few steps forward, moving to Mason’s other side, tucking that stubborn gold strand behind his ear again .

It’s not because none of us wanted to pursue you as a love interest, but because we all wanted to.

The memory of his deep voice and his earnest eyes as Leo said those words will forever have their own place in heart and head, something I’ll be drawing on for my own pleasure-time inspiration long after my boys have come to their senses or I wake up from this because it has to be a dream. Has. To. Be.

The way Leo smiles at me now is almost too much and I have to tear my gaze away to keep my eyes from welling up.

But the line is growing longer. Gavin no longer reclines on the love seat, but is next to Gunnar. His intense expression makes my insides melt. Not to mention his body is a work of art. His jeans are slung low, showing his deeply cut v-lines. His shirt is off, and I forget to not stare at the barbells in his nipples. They’re like shiny toys I want to play with, and I can already feel them against my tongue.

As if he can read my mind, Gavin’s smile turns wicked. He holds my gaze and licks his lips, and his tongue ring teases me as it glints and then is hidden again behind his smirk. I shiver, imagining what he could do to me with his mouth.

Theo is next to Gavin, and his green eyes light up when our eyes connect. The sudden pull I have toward him is magnetic. He looks at me with an alluring grin, as if he sees all of this as an adventure. I grin back at him. How can I help myself, baffled as I might be by this entire situation?

If all of us can’t have you, none of us can have you.

I turn to Jack, the voice of reason, because surely he doesn’t feel this way. He doesn’t want me. He’s holding back laughter at the very idea. What about his hot models and socialites, like Cynthia Sinclair?

But when I see Jack standing tall beside Leo, there isn’t laughter in his eyes, only stark desire.

I squeeze my thighs together as warmth floods through me, something I have to do a hell of a lot with the Hammers around.

And it really doesn’t help that Cruz is looking at me with a sly smile on his sexy mouth. He’s in pajamas, and his brown hair is rumpled, slightly, but all that does is make him look like he’s had a long and wild night in bed. And the way he bites his lip and shakes his head at me, his eyes sliding over my body, lingering on what are clearly his two favorite parts, I get the feeling back to bed is exactly where he wants to go.

I must have died and ended up in the sweetest heaven. There’s no other explanation that makes sense.

Certainly none to explain the way Axel looks at me from behind his glasses, serious and fascinated, like I’m one of his rare rose bushes that he grafts himself and cherishes.

Or how Diesel, without his guitar now, so I can easily see the tattoo on his arm, in the pattern of his favorite constellation, looks as if I’m the star he’s been waiting to find.

I can hardly bear it, any of it.

My gaze slides to Max. Somewhere deep down, I register that I should be furious with him for never telling me about this fucking ridiculous pact. On one hand, what are they, twelve? But on the other hand, if they made a pact, then Max was betraying all of his brothers every single time we …

I shake my head.

Then I burst out laughing. I laugh so hard I think I’m going to pee myself.

Every single set of their gorgeous eyes are on me now.

Every single set of their gorgeous eyes are alarmed.

“Win…?” Cruz asks. “Are you… alright?”

Tears stream down my face. I’m laughing that hard. I can’t stop laughing.

“Okay. Okay,” I say, trying to calm myself down, but another giggle escapes. “Come on. It’s hilarious. I’m actually supposed to believe that if it wasn’t for this pact… You all would’ve wanted to go on national television and compete for my love?”

“It would’ve had to be unanimous, like 1 Girl, 10 Hammers was,” Axel says. “We would have all had to… be very, very open and honest with each other and agree that no matter what the outcome… there would be no hard feelings.” And the corner of his mouth tips up. “But hell yeah.”

My knees actually go weak.

“We’d all love to be your favorite Hammer,” Jack says, his gruff voice rougher than usual. He swallows, like he has a lump in his throat and I’m overwhelmed by his emotion.

My eyes swim with tears. “Is that true? You would all want to date me, if given the chance?”

“No,” Jack says and once again, I’m thrown for a loop. “We don’t all want to date you, Win. We all want to be your man.”

Max presses his lips together, silent, but every single one of the others responds, agreeing with Jack .

Yep, I’ve definitely died and gone to heaven.

“Would you have done the show?” asks Mason. Probably because he never wanted to quit with 1 Girl, 10 Hammers. He loved being on television. Relished the low-key fame, and the perks of being a semi-celebrity.

I shake my head. “No. For starters, what we all have is way too special. I would never want to exploit our friendships like that. But… also… I’d never be able to eliminate any of you. Are you kidding me? I don’t have a favorite Hammer. I never have. Never will.”

I stare at Max until he meets my gaze.

“I love you all. All of you. As individuals, of course, but also as a whole.” I speak my truth to them in a way I’d never ever dream of in a room filled with anyone else. They make me brave. “I’d never do anything to damage the relationship we have. Obviously, Max is very special to me. But you all are.”

“Let’s say it wasn’t going to be televised,” Jack says suddenly. “Winnie’s Favorite Hammer.”

And then he blows away the last of my mind when he adds. “Is it an experiment you’d be interested in participating in if we kept it private?”