Chapter 10

Winnie

I s it an experiment you’d be interested in…

Is it…?

My mind needs a moment to recover but my ladyparts urge me to scream hell yeah, I would! An opportunity to be pounded for real by all the Hammers?

Thankfully, my heart and gut both respond with a resounding and unanimous NO, and that’s what stops me from running to Jack, jumping into his arms, wrapping my entire body around him until the tune from a phone alarm goes off, and then Leo says, Time’s up, Jackie boy, it’s my turn …

Oh my God, I want it, all of it. All of them, but I can’t imagine the havoc that would wreak on our friendships. I mean, if this morning has taught me anything, it was that Max and I have been playing with fire and it burned us all.

Dearest Virginity, my old friend, I suppose I won’t be losing you anytime soon after all , I think .

What a colossal bummer to realize I’ll be living in Dildo City, Population 1 for the foreseeable future after getting so damn close.

I shake my head. “No,” I say, though I might’ve whimpered just a little when I said it.

“No,” I add, more forcefully. “Like Axel said, it’s a stupid idea. Each and every one of you knows that. I mean, the network wasn’t motivated to do Winnie’s Favorite Hammer ,” I scoff at the ridiculous title, “just so America could root for me to find true love with one of you .”

My chest starts to tighten even though I’ve spent plenty of time thickening my skin against the judgments of people who don’t even know me.

I laugh, trying to clear away my emotion, “They wanted everyone in America to root for their favorite Hammer brother to be eliminated, not chosen. Save their favorite for themselves, of course. But then PLOT TWIST! The brother I choose will turn me down in the end, leaving me brokenhearted and humiliated!”

Even as I laugh, I’m crossing my arms over my chest defensively again.

“Win, with all due respect, what the actual fucking fuck are you talking about?” Gavin cuts in.

The semicircle of brothers around me has lost some of its order as I rant. They’re all wearing matching expressions of disbelief, as though they truly have no clue what the fucking fuck I’m talking about.

“Come on, guys. They were looking for trash TV and ratings, not for me to have a happily ever after with one of you , because no one—least of all me—would buy that. ”

“Buy what?” Cruz genuinely looks confused.

They are the smartest guys I know, my boys, and yet they still need me to spell it out for them?

“That not one, but all of the Hammer brothers were genuinely competing for my love.”

They’re all staring at me like I’ve just sprouted wings and told them I’m a fairy princess.

“WHAT?” I demand.

Theo breaks away from the row of brothers, and comes over to me. I probably shouldn’t let him get too close. His green eyes are a trap I fall into all too often. They make me forget what I’m doing. How to think rationally.

“First,” Theo says. “Do you seriously not know how much everyone who has ever had anything to do with 1 Girl, 10 Hammers adores you?” He touches my cheek. “Angel.” His eyes ensnare mine and I fall. “Trust me, they absolutely want to see you get your happily ever after. You’ve helped so many people get theirs.”

I shake my head, still not buying it.

His hand drops from my cheeks but he’s not defeated yet. “You were the soul of our show, Win. Yeah, it was about us showing off our bodies, but it was so much more than that. Because of you.”

I can’t deny that what he is saying is true. Yeah, the original idea for the show was all about them making America drool as they renovated houses. But once I was brought on board and the concept morphed from 10 Hammers into 1 Girl, 10 Hammers, it became so much more. I handpicked every family whose house we renovated. Those I chose were kindred spirits, people like myself, who’d never had a home that was truly a sanctuary. I wanted to give them not only safe spaces, but beautiful spaces. So, yeah, the show had a lot of skin, but it had a lot of heart.

“Still,” I say. “Look at yourselves. You each put so much time and work into keeping your bodies perfect. Why would you possibly want someone who looks like me?”

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think I’m some kind of Sasquatch or anything like that. It’s not like I don’t take care of myself. I make sure to exercise. I try to eat right. I care about being healthy. But I am never going to have visible abs. I was built with big boobs and thick thighs. My ass has always filled my jeans, and I’m never going to have the type of physique you’d expect a lady on any Hammer brother’s arm to have.

“At the risk of being unoriginal, what the fucking fuck are you talking about?” Diesel asks. “We would want someone who looks like you because each and every one of us think you’re hot as hell.”

“And,” Axel adds, “we’d never compete for anything else with the same intensity and determination that we’d compete with if the prize was your love.”

Gram used to watch old episodes of the Twilight Zone like that show held the secret to world peace and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised at, if this moment, Rod Serling rose from the dead and walked in to narrate.

What the fucking fuck indeed.

I laugh. “Sorry. I just… What you’re asking me to believe is… kind of… farfetched. ”

“Then let us help make it a bit more realistic.” Jack says it with a flirty smile, but I know behind his teasing, a part of him is very, very serious.

I swallow hard. “What do you mean?”

“You aren’t interested in Winnie’s Favorite Hammer–televised or not–and we all respect that,” he says. “But I can’t let you leave this room until you believe, with your whole heart, that if you were in, every damn one of us would be in.”

“You can all talk ‘til you’re blue in the face, Jack Hammer, but you’re never going to–”

“Oh, none of us will be talking, baby, because I firmly believe that actions speak louder than words,” he says, his piercing blue eyes pinning me in place. “Give us each five minutes to persuade you?”

My heart hammers–no pun intended–in my chest.

“What about your pact?” I stammer.

“Well, Big Max obviously made that null and void,” Mason says. “If you give us the same opportunity he had, we’ll show you just how much we all want you.”

“Five minutes each…?” The idea was enough to make me faint. That’s almost an hour of kissing. I’d need a whole pot of lip balm to recover. “There’s no way that–”

“One minute,” Cruz rushes in. “I won’t need more than that to convince you.” He shoots Jack a smirk. “Unlike Jack, apparently.”

Everyone laughs, even Jack .

Everyone except for Max, who stands apart from the rest of us. He watches his brothers solemnly, and when our eyes connect, hurt quickly flashes across his face and I want to run to him, comfort him.

But then Jack walks toward me, wrapping his large, callused hands over mine and squeezing reassuringly. His eyes alight on mine playfully. I wonder how his beard will feel against my skin…

Uh oh, I’m a goner already.

He tugs me gently toward him, unintentionally blocking Max from my view, but before I can do anything about that, my senses are flooded with Jack’s zesty, woodsy scent. Something with ginger in it, and so delicious I want to lick him.

With a soft sigh, I melt against him, and that’s when I feel how hard he is for me through his jeans. Shyness overtakes me even as I want to rub myself against him.

My cheeks burn and I’m aware of everyone else in the room. Some are watching, some trying excruciatingly hard not to.

“Win, relax,” Jack whispers. He bends his head down toward me and my heartbeat ratchets up ten notches.

He’s going to kiss me. Oh my God, Jack Hammer is going to kiss me!

I’ve wanted this my entire life, so why am I suddenly terrified?

“Relax, Winifred,” he whispers again. “I don’t bite. Not unless you want me to.” He says it with a joking wink, and when he bends toward me, the tip of his nose touches mine and he rubs our noses together like we’re bunnies .

I’m so startled I smile, and that’s when he brings his lips to mine.

Jack’s hand skims my side with a touch that is gentle for only a moment, just long enough for me to brush the silk of his beard with my fingertips and return his kiss with soft kisses of my own. The next thing I know, his mouth is ravenous, our kiss is devouring, and he’s lifting me up as if I weigh nothing. He settles me against his solid abs, so I can wrap my legs around his waist. His hands slide under me, squeezing as he pushes me closer to him. The world around us is long gone as his mouth possesses mine, and then–

Jack pulls away so abruptly I lean forward and try to claim him again, but he shakes his head. “Times up,” he says.

My gaze flies to Leo, who’d been beside Jack, but there are hands circling my waist from behind me, and in one swift movement, I’m shifted around in Diesel’s arms.

“My turn, now,” he says, settling my legs around his waist. “I’ve been the next-to-last choice in just about everything for twenty-eight years.” He touches my lips, tracing them gently with his thumb. “I’m not waiting around to be the penultimate kiss.”

I don’t want him to wait even a second. I lean forward to close the space between us and Diesel makes the sexiest growl of approval as he grips the underside of my thighs. My hands go to his shirt, bunching the soft cotton fabric in my fists.

Pleasure sweeps through me when his lips close over mine. His kisses are long and lingering, and the pulse between my legs begins to ache.

Diesel presses into me. Oh my . Our bodies rock together, like we’re dancing to our own secret music, and –

I need more of him but he’s sliding me to the ground, suddenly. I can barely stand, because my legs have softened to jelly, and I want to protest.

Until Gavin pulls me back against his chest and drops a gentle peck on my cheek.

“You’re my girl, now,” he says.

His sensual amber and musk scent is so familiar, I can’t help my automatic response to breathe him in long and slow. But I want to look at him, not waste our precious minute with my back to him.

I spin around, taking him off guard for a second as I link my arms around his neck. He smiles warmly as his hands rove along my back.

“Hey, Pooh Bear.”

I smile as he tucks my boingy curl behind my ear. My eyes move to his mouth. I get to kiss his lips.

With his lip ring–!

“Hey, Gav,” I whisper back. My voice is thick with desire. I lick my lips. He grins.

“What are you thinking?” His hands slide around my sides again, his fingers feathering across my skin, making me tremble.

He’s torturing me. It isn’t fair.

“I’m thinking you better kiss me right freaking now.”

The predatory look he gives me is enough to send shivers along my spine. My arousal has fully soaked my panties, and when his mouth crashes over mine, another wave gushes between my thighs. I press my palms against his pecs, my fingers twitching to play with his nipple rings. I’m desperate to feel his hard body against mine. He smiles against my mouth when I whimper.

“Is this what you want?” He hooks one of my legs up over his hip and swivels his body, grinding into me.

I’m seeing stars. I try to answer, but I can’t make a sound, not even to moan my approval. He doesn’t mind. He parts my lips, deepening our kiss. My tongue slides over his, finding that tantalizing metal stud. His tongue twists, caressing mine as his hips roll.

Oh! Ohhh. I could spend entire days doing this, not just a single minute that ends much too soon–

But suddenly it’s Theo’s turn, and he grins mischievously as he pulls me away from Gav, his lips finding mine without hesitation. His tongue is teasing and inviting, so different from my last kiss, but so delicious he pulls small hums of desire out of me instantly. He tastes like mint, and smells like citrus, and his kisses are sensual and sweet.

But I need his hands on me.

More , I want to beg.

With a smirk, he touches my face, then his hands move to my ribs, skimming the underside of my breasts with his thumbs. Another pair of hands on my waist causes me to jerk back in surprise, but I relax into his touch when I breathe in all of the familiarity of Leo.

“If we share, that means our time with you is twice as long, right?” Leo’s lips dance across my shoulder.

Theo claims my mouth again before I can answer Leo, but I don’t need to even say a word. Leo slots himself behind me and Theo takes the front, and their bodies and mouths move over and around me like yin and yang, nipping here and tasting there, until I’m writhing in ecstasy.

More , I want to cry. I want all of it. All of them. Everything my boys have to give me–

Too abruptly, they pull apart, and I feel bereft for a split second until I realize it’s Axel’s hard body that my backside now presses against.

“I was hoping you’d want to go for five minutes,” he says as his lips drop to the crook of my neck. He pauses just before touching my skin, leaving me wanting. One of his hands is in my hair, tightening his fist around a handful of curls.

I lean my head back against his shoulder, giving him access to my mouth.

But he doesn’t kiss me yet. His free hand touches my belly, his fingers splaying. He isn’t gentle with his touch; it isn’t tickly. His hand is strong, possessive , just like the one in my hair.

He turns my head for better access to my throat in this position and drops a hot kiss, accompanied by a tiny lick, on my neck.

“I guess I better wow you,” he says, and then he smiles against my neck as his hand creeps lower.

My eyes jam closed as every nerve in my body springs to attention, following his touch, and a fresh cascade of warmth releases between my legs.

“I mean, that’s a tough act to follow.” Axel’s mouth vibrates my skin. “Not sure I’ll be able to compete–”

“Shut up,” I pant. “I don’t want this to be a competition. ”

“Oh?” he says. “Isn’t that exactly what this is?”

“Not right now. I just want a kiss.”

“Ah. So that’s all you want, sweetheart.” He says it in a voice that sounds resigned to a sad fate, sad like he was a short while ago, but this time his sadness is just a ruse. As his hand slips lower down my belly, his fingertips deliberately stroke the front of my pajama shorts exactly where I want them, and his smile against my neck becomes a grin as my eyes fly wide open. “Or do you want more?”

I squeeze my thighs together. His grip on my hair releases and his hand slides down my body, his firm fingers landing on my hip.

“Spread your legs,” he commands quietly in my ear. “Let me touch you.”

I can’t believe how bold he’s being right now. I’ve seen the bossy side of Axel here and there during our years on the show, when we were in a time crunch and his gardens and planters needed attending one way or another before a big reveal. That’s why, in my How I Lose My Virginity to Axel fantasy, as he instructs me on how repot his favorite roses (his glasses giving me Hot For Teacher vibes, naturally), my fantasy-Axel is bossy and bold. And when fantasy-Axel demands that I unbuckle his belt, slide down his jeans, and take him in my mouth, get him lubed up before he fucks me, I’m more than willing. I love this side of Axel, just as much as his gentle, sensitive side.

The real Axel is even bolder than in my fantasy, and I do as he commands, widening my stance, and gasping when his fingers find me again, this time passing under my waistband and touching me without the barrier of my sleep shorts .

“Is this okay, sweetheart?”

As I nod, he traces a line across the drenched fabric of my panties, feeling all of my desire. My face heats, and I’m glad for a second that my back is to him so he can’t see my embarrassment. My face is on fire. Hell, my entire body is on fire. Then his body rolls into mine and he groans softly, a sound sexy and filled with pleasure as he presses me against him, that it causes me to melt once more.

“Fuck, Win. You want this as much as we do, don’t you?” he growls. “Are you wet for me or is this all for my brothers?”

“Not a competition,” I push through gritted teeth.

Again he traces the line between my thighs, but this time, he hooks my panties aside, enough for the tips of his fingers to stroke through my folds without a barrier.

I moan so loudly I have to bite my lip to control myself.

“Damn it, Ax, are you going to kiss her or what?” Mason calls, and thank God none of them can see what he’s doing to me, because the next thing I know, Axel is on his knees before me, both of his hands on my thighs.

How the hell I manage to stand on my own is a mystery, especially when he looks up at me, his glasses slightly steamed up from the heat coming off of us, and says, “Do you have any boundaries regarding where I kiss you, sweetheart?”

Oh, God, he wants to–

His thumb creeps closer to my horny little love button, starting his agonizing tease all over again. But this time he only uses his thumb to draw my shorts to the side. As he licks his lips and draws closer, he raises a brow at me, his chestnut hair flopping across his forehead.

Too breathless to speak, I shake my head. No boundaries. None. Not for my boys.

My eyes glaze over as Axel’s mouth hits the exact spot over my panties, so expertly its like he can see through the cotton–

“ Time , you fucker,” Mason growls.

Axel stands, and I’m miraculously put back together before Mason closes in on us. Sleep shorts in order, curls swept back behind my ears.

Inside, however, I’m fully shattered.

When Mason takes me in his arms, he has to lower me to the ground so I can regain control. My breath is coming rapidly, my chest rising and falling so hard it’s like I’ve been running laps around the house, not standing still.

“Do you need to cool down for a minute, cupcake?” he says, dropping a kiss on my forehead.

I’m sure I do, but Mason’s brushing the tops of my thighs with his fingers and as I dig into his hard, hard pecs, he presses closer to me and I feel other things are very hard, too…

God, so very hard.

I wasn’t too wrong when I mistook Mason for Big Max , either. He really is just as huge as...

And with that thought, Max’s beautiful face flashes through my mind, and a coil of guilt twists in my heart, sharp enough to reverberate through my body. My ecstasy and joy fizzles away as I’m snapped back to reality, and I scan the living room for him.

But Max is gone. I shouldn’t be so bothered but I am.

I look at Mason and he smiles gently. “You okay, Win?”

I start to nod, but end up shaking my head.

“I need to talk to Max,” I say, stumbling as I jump to my feet. I feel terrible, amazing , rotten, absolutely glorious , too many things all at the same time. “I’m sorry.”

And I am sorry. God, I am SO damn sorry. As I back away from them and rush off to find Max, I’m so sorry I’m not finishing what they started. But I’m more sorry for not pulling Max aside and making sure he was okay with any of this before we started.