8. Ayla

Chapter 8

Ayla

I wanted to dive in and ask so many questions, and it killed me to stay silent. Sadly, it felt like that was what Declan needed. We sat on the park bench in silence for about thirty minutes. Clearly, he didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

“Hey, why don’t we head back to my place and watch the fireworks there?” I suggested.

Declan sighed, which sounded like he was relieved. He turned to me and smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“That sounds good,” he said as he stood and waited for me to lead the way.

The walk back to my house wasn’t awkward, but it was still quiet, to say the least. Declan’s tormented look indicated that the phone call had upset him. I just wish I knew how far I could go with asking him about it. I didn’t want to push him for answers, but I also wanted to get to know him and maybe be a friend he could confide in. Unfortunately, he wasn’t making it easy.

When we arrived at my house, I opened the front door into the main living room. Declan went straight to the fireplace mantel, where I had several framed pictures lined up in a row, all intermingled with my Fourth of July decorations. I had an addiction to decorating for every single holiday.

I watched Declan’s focus stop on a picture of Kat and me, arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders, sitting on the back porch of her parents’ cabin in North Carolina.

“Who is that?” he asked, nodding at the photo.

I stared at the picture and smiled. “That’s my best friend, Katherine, but I call her Kat. We graduated dental school together.” I shifted my focus to him. “She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, so I don’t get to see her much. But I am planning on going out there sometime soon to visit. She doesn’t know that yet.”

Declan chuckled lightly. “I’m sure she’d love that. ”

He moved on from that picture to the ones with my parents and grandparents, who were no longer with us. When he reached the end, his lips pursed curiously.

“What is it?” I asked.

He shrugged and placed a hand on the mantel. “I’m surprised there aren’t any pictures of you and a significant other up here.”

Turning on my heel, I headed into the kitchen and scoffed. “Oh, there was at one point,” I called out as I grabbed two hard apple ciders from the refrigerator.

I walked back into the living room and handed one to Declan.

He opened his up and took a swig. “What happened?”

“It didn’t work out,” I answered with a shrug. He lifted his brows, clearly wanting to know more. Hopefully, that meant he was going to open up to me. “Andrew and I were together for five years,” I continued, “He proposed and lived here for a while, but he didn’t like the small-town life. He wanted bigger and better things.”

Declan shook his head. “What a jackass. I’m sorry.”

I waved a hand dismissively in the air. “There’s no need to say sorry. His leaving was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I just hate that I wasted five years of my life on him.”

“Yeah,” he said, turning back to the pictures, “that’s a lot of years to end up with nothing.”

Now was the time.

“What about you?” I asked, feeling my pulse race. “Anyone special in your life?”

He kept his focus on the pictures when he answered. “No.”

“Ever?” I added.

Declan chuckled, and there was a hint of regret in the sound. “There have been women in my life,” he admitted, “but nothing serious. It never got to that point.”

I had to keep pushing. “Why not?”

He glanced over at me, his eyes narrowed curiously. “Are you going to keep asking these types of questions?”

“Yes,” I said, not backing down. “It’d be much easier if you’d just answer them. It’s not fair that I answer all your questions and you give me nothing in return.”

Declan tilted up his beer bottle, guzzling over half. Once he was done, he looked at me and sighed. “Fair enough. What do you want to know? ”

I couldn’t stop smiling even if I tried. “Everything. I’ll take whatever you give me.”

He hesitated for a split second as if contemplating what he should do. But then, he nodded toward the back door. “Fine. I’ll tell you some things about my life, but I can’t tell you everything. There are just some things I can’t talk about.”

“Hey,” I said, holding my hands up, “I’m good with that. I like you, Declan. You seem like a great person. All I want is to get to know you.”

His shoulders relaxed and his lips tilted up in a small smile. “Come on, then. Let’s go outside so you don’t miss your fireworks.”

We headed outside and I kicked off my sandals so I could sit at the edge of the pool and soak my feet in the cool water. Declan took off his shoes and did the same, which surprised me. His arm brushed against mine and I smiled, loving how my skin broke out in goose bumps.

“The phone call I got earlier was from my parents,” he revealed as he peered out at the lake.

“Why didn’t you answer?”

His jaw muscles clenched and he closed his eyes. “It’s hard to talk to them right now.”

My pulse raced even more.

“Why?” I asked, my voice just above a whisper .

Declan finally turned to me, his eyes conveying so many emotions that it made my heart hurt. “Because they know today is not easy for me. But I also know it’s not easy for them, either.” He shifted his focus back to the lake. “I lost my brother six months ago, Ayla. He was killed.”

My chest tightened and I sucked in a breath. That wasn’t what I was expecting to hear.

“What happened?”

Declan hung his head, sighed, and then met my eyes again. “He was shot while on one of our undercover FBI missions.”

“I am so sorry,” I murmured, mouth dropping in shock. “I’m an only child so I can’t imagine what that must feel like.”

He reached a hand into the water and glided his fingers through it. “Elijah was only thirty-four years old.”

I placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping to offer some semblance of comfort; it was clear he needed it.

“Were you there when it happened?”

Declan tensed and I could feel the walls start to build up around him again. “Yes. It’s a night I’ll never forget.”

When he didn’t elaborate, I just sat there and stared at him. I didn’t know what it was like to lose a sibling, so there was no way I could relate to that. I was close to all my grandparents when I lost them over the years, but I had to imagine it would be worse to lose a brother or sister. Judging by the despair on Declan’s face, he must have been close to his brother.

What do you say after something like that? Declan was there when his brother died. He was shot, which meant it had to have been horrific.

“It’s strange to know you’re an FBI agent,” I said softly. “I’ve never known anyone like you.”

Declan shook his head. “I’m not anymore. I resigned after what happened to Elijah.”

I rubbed my hand soothingly down his arm. “Then you moved down here.”

“Yes,” he replied with a nod. “I was hoping to have an escape from it all.”

Slowly, I let my hand slide off his arm. “And here I am asking you to talk about it. I’m sorry for meddling. I just wanted to get to know you.”

Declan glanced down at my hand and gently wrapped his fingers around mine. They were warm and strong, and felt very protective. I could see him being an FBI agent and trying to save the world from the bad guys.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I want to let you in, but there are things I can’t tell you about myself. ”

“Can’t or won’t?” I questioned.

He met my gaze, his eyes searching mine. “Both. I don’t want to scare you.”

I made sure he could see the truth in my face, but I also didn’t want to push him too far.

“Maybe one day you’ll see I’m not easily terrified.”

It was as if time stood still as we stared at each other. I could sense him inching closer, but then a boom echoed around us, and fireworks exploded in the sky. There were bursts of color, all in various shapes and sizes.

“I must say, the fireworks of Magnolia Grove are quite impressive.”

Declan chuckled and it was such a nice sound. “Yes, they are. Every July Fourth, I would go to Elijah’s cabin on Otsego Lake. It was a tradition we kept for over ten years, ever since he bought the place. We’d grill hamburgers and hotdogs and go fishing. We thought it’d go on forever.”

“What happened to the cabin?” I asked.

Declan released a long sigh. “It’s mine now. Elijah left it to me. I just haven’t been able to go back there.”

I squeezed his hand. “I’m sure you will one day. ”

He moved closer and shook his head. “No, I can’t.”

There was so much pain in his eyes that it broke my heart. The fireworks blasted in the sky, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than him. He leaned in close, his eyes boring into mine. When his lips touched mine, I melted against him. His hands clasped my face, and I brought mine up to his; I didn’t want to let go.

As the fireworks continued to light up the night sky, I felt a rush of emotions swirling inside me. The kiss only intensified those feelings, leaving me breathless and wanting more. His touch was electrifying, sending shivers down my spine as I lost myself in the warmth of his embrace. I knew right then and there that something was beginning between us, but I still had to break down his walls.

Declan pulled away first and pressed his forehead to mine. “I should go. But I want you to know I had a great night.”

His words sent trembles through my body. “Does that mean we’ll be spending more nights together?”

He smirked and tucked a sprig of my hair that had come loose from my ponytail behind my ear. “I’m sure we can make that happen. ”

“Good. You can come over tomorrow night, and I’ll cook you dinner,” I suggested.

Declan leaned in and kissed me again. “I’ll be here.” He slid his feet out of the water and stood. “See you tomorrow.”

My heart began to race ninety miles an hour. All I could do was nod and watch him walk away. I was way past ready for tomorrow night.