Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

D ani never came back to the office. When I look at the clock, it’s almost six p.m. I must have lost myself in work. I pack up my things, turn off the lights, pull up her number on my phone, and hit dial.

The call rings out. That’s odd, seeing as she’s always attached to her phone. I can’t recall what errand she said she was running. I don’t think I even asked. I was swamped with a stack of files when she messaged me earlier.

As soon as I’m in the car, I hit dial again. It rings for what seems like an eternity before the call finally connects.

“Alistair?” Her voice is quiet. Off. Something’s wrong.

“Dani, where are you?” I ask her.

“I’m so sorry. I’ve ruined everything. I’m sorry,” she sobs into the phone.

“What are you talking about? Where are you?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I’m really so sorry,” she repeats over and over again, and I have no idea what she’s apologising for.

“What happened? Dani, tell me what happened. I’ll fix it, whatever it is.”

“You can’t fix this,” she says.

“I can. Just tell me what’s wrong,” I beg her. I point the car in the direction of her apartment while praying that she’s actually there.

“I’m sorry.” Her sobs tear at my fucking heart. I can’t stand hearing her cry.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m on my way.”

“Don’t come over. Not yet. Let me pretend that we’re still okay for a little bit. Just… give me a few days. Please…” She’s not making any sense. I have no idea what she’s talking about. We are fucking okay.

“Sure, I’ll give you a few days,” I lie, because I have no intention of giving her space. Ever. The call cuts out and my heart pounds in my chest while beads of sweat run down my forehead. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I have no idea what’s happened. I just know I need to fix it.

What the fuck could she have done?

My mind goes straight to the one thing I can’t fucking fix. She fucked up. She cheated. Just like my mother did to my dad. I don’t want to think it. I don’t want to lose her. I can’t lose her. But that… If that’s what she’s done, I can’t forgive that. Can I?

I shake my head. I can forgive her for just about anything if it means keeping her, but not that.

I park in front of her apartment and run up the stairs. I pull out the key I might have had cut without her knowledge and let myself in. “Dani? Where are you?” I yell for her before I make it two steps inside.

She doesn’t answer but I hear her crying. My heart rips in half when I find her curled up in bed.

“Dani, babe. I’m here. It’s okay. Whatever it is, whatever you did, it’s okay.” I scoop her up and sit on the bed, pulling her onto my lap.

She buries her head in my chest. “It’s not. I ruined it. I ruined us,” she says, and I freeze.

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it, I chant over and over in my head.

“I’m pregnant,” she says, looking up at me, her eyes already blinking away the next wave of tears. My body relaxes. Thank fuck she didn’t say what I was dreading.

“You’re… pregnant?” I ask.

She nods her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I don’t know… well, I do know how it happened but I didn’t do this on purpose. I swear I didn’t,” she rambles on.

I bring a finger up to her cheek and wipe her tears away. “You didn’t do this alone, Dani. Pretty sure we were both fucking careless,” I tell her.

“Why aren’t you freaking out?”

“It could be worse.” I shrug.

“What could possibly be worse? I’m pregnant, as in I’m going to be a mother and you’re going to be a father. We didn’t plan this, Alistair. We don’t want this,” she says.

She doesn’t want this?

“You don’t want to have a child with me?” I ask her, doing my best to keep my tone calm. Even.

“I don’t want to have a child period. I’m not ready. And I don’t want to lose you. I know you don’t want forever, a lifelong commitment, and I don’t want to lose you,” she repeats.

“Little girl, you are not going to lose me. I’m not going to leave you alone through this. We made this kid together. We will do this together.” I kiss the top of her head. “Marry me,” I blurt out before I know what I’m saying, freezing when the words I never thought would ever come out of my mouth somehow do .

“What? No.” She shakes her head.

“What do you mean no ? Why the fuck not?” My eyebrows draw together in confusion.

“You don’t mean it. You don’t want to marry me, Alistair. You’re only saying that because you think you have to. I won’t force someone to marry me just because I’m knocked up with their kid. I don’t want that,” she says.

“I don’t say things I don’t mean. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t mean it. I want you to marry me, Dani, and not because you’re knocked up, but because I want you.”

“You have me without getting married. We’re not getting married and I’m not accepting a proposal when we’ve just been hit with a life-altering thing like a baby.”

“I don’t even know what to say.” I sigh. “I guess I’ll just keep asking until you say yes.”

“How about you ask again when you really, really mean it and want it. Until then, please don’t. I don’t need it and you don’t want it.”

“I love you,” I tell her.

Her eyes widen. “Please don’t say that just because I’m pregnant. It’s not fair,” she whispers, her bottom lip trembling as she continues to fight her tears.

“I’ve said it before, Dani. It’s the truth.”

She shakes her head. “No, you have never said those words to me before.”

“Surely, I have. I’m certain I have…” I tell her, trying to recall an exact date, time, or incident, only to come up empty. “It’s the truth,” I say again. “I love you. I can’t imagine not waking up next to you every day.”

“I love you too, more than I ever thought possible,” she says.

My hand cups the back of her head and I pull her face towards mine. “I love you,” I whisper against her mouth, right before my lips claim hers.

“Mmm, fuck me, Alistair. Make me forget everything but you for a little while,” she pleads.

“Gladly.” I roll her over and settle myself between her legs. Reaching for the hem of her dress, I lift it up while Dani props herself on her elbows so I can pull the material over her head. She’s not wearing a bra, or panties. She’s completely bare before me. My eyes focus on her flat stomach and my arm moves to cover it. “I can’t believe we have a whole person in there,” I tell her. “A mini you.”

“I know. It’s weird,” she says.

“It’s beautiful.”

“You know, we don’t have to decide what to do right now. We have time,” she tells me.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there are options, Alistair. We should discuss them…”

Is she considering not keeping the baby? It’s not like I have a lot of say here. It’s her body and all. But, fuck, why do I feel so fucking helpless right now?

“We don’t need to discuss anything, Dani. We’re having a baby. I’m not going to disappear on you. I’m not going anywhere. We are going to do this together, just you and me. And her.” I run a finger along her abdomen.

“Her?” Dani raises an eyebrow.

“Well, hopefully. Because a mini you is way more appealing than a mini version of me.” I laugh.

“Are you sure?”

“I am. Are you?”

“I don’t know. I’m scared,” she admits.

“We can be scared together,” I tell her honestly.

“Can we do that fucking thing now?”

“Always.” Undoing my pants, I free my cock before leaning down and capturing her lips. I slip my tongue into her mouth and am about to push inside her when I stop. “Wait. Is this okay? Should we even be doing this? What if I hurt you? Or the baby?” I ask her as a million more questions run through my mind. I have no idea what I’m doing here.

Dani laughs. “You’re big, Alistair, but nobody is that big. If you don’t want to fuck me, fine… I’ll do it myself,” she says, trying to wiggle out from underneath me.

“Hold up.” I pin her arms in place and watch as she stares up at me with lust-filled eyes. “I never, ever said I didn’t want to. Nor would I ever say that. I want to. Trust me, I fucking want to. I just want to make sure that we can do this.”

“Pregnant people have sex, Alistair. It’s fine,” she tries to assure me.

“You’re right.”

“Besides, you should get as much of it as you can before I’m fat and ugly and don’t get you hard anymore.”

“Seriously? You could never be ugly, and I can’t wait to fuck you while you’re heavily pregnant. I’ll be fucking you so much you’ll get pregnant again, and we’ll end up with our own football team.”

“Did you skip biology class? Because that’s not how it works.” She laughs.

“I know. But I’ll still be fucking you right up until I take my last breath.”

“Prove it,” she says.

“Little girl, you’re asking for trouble.” I push my cock into her dripping pussy. “I’ll never understand how it gets better every time I sink into you,” I tell her.

“Mmhmm. So good.” Her hips buck up, meeting me thrust for thrust.

I’m trying not to go as hard as I usually would. I really am afraid of hurting her. Dani growls before her hands land on my chest and she pushes me over.

“What the hell?” I ask, landing on my back.

Dani climbs on top of me. Grabbing my cock, she lines it up with her entrance before sinking down on me. “If you’re not going to fuck me, then I’m going to fuck you,” she says, moving her hips in a circular motion.

My palms cup her breasts as I pinch and roll her nipples between my fingertips. “Please do,” I say.

She starts bouncing herself up and down my shaft. “So good,” she moans.

“Better than good,” I correct as I lower one of my hands, find her clit, and press my thumb against it. I’m going to come any minute now, and I refuse to come before she does. “You need to come for me, little girl,” I grit out.

She increases her speed, rolling her hips and grinding her clit onto my thumb harder with each downward motion. “Oh shit.” Her hands land on my chest. She uses them as leverage as she continues to fuck me.

“That’s it. Come for me. Show me that beautiful orgasmic face of yours,” I tell her, and she does. Her body shakes as the orgasm rips through her and her pussy gushes all over my cock. Gripping me. Milking me. I come right along with her, emptying myself inside her. “I fucking love you,” I tell her.

“Mmm, I love you too,” she says before collapsing on top of me.