5. i want to know you more

i want to know you more

Lily

Lily's eyes rolled back in her head as Fisk pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Her legs were like gelatin as he turned them to sit on the bench seat, and she was grateful they were in water, without the need to walk. When she had told him to fuck her like he couldn't break her, like he had always dreamed of doing...

She had more gotten what she asked for. Anything she could have guessed he was capable of, he had far surpassed it. He had fucked her like he meant it, like he wanted her to remember it, remember him. As though it was possible to forget him? Never. He had promised he could satisfy her in ways no one ever could, but that was talk. He had proven himself tenfold. Never, in any of her numerous hookups, had anyone ever made her feel like that, like she was a goddess being worshipped, like she was made to be fucked by one man and one man alone.

Because he was right: no one could ever compare. No one else could ever fuck her like that, like they had something to prove, to win, to earn. If he was trying to show her he wanted her...

He was going to have a hard time getting rid of her after that.

Partially because her legs no longer worked, of course, but mostly because if this was what he could do when he barely knew anything about her, she was desperate to know what he could do once he learned all the little ways to make her scream.

"You haven't said anything yet," he murmured against her temple, his voice gentle and soothing as he rubbed his hands up and down her back. "Thinking about something?"

"There's no oxygen left in my brain to think with," she answered with a giggle. She wanted to clap her hand over her mouth, but her arms couldn't move from where they were wrapped around him, clinging tight to his back. "I'm... That was..."

"No need to force yourself to find words if I've fucked them out of you," he mused, sounding far too pleased with himself. "You asked to be fucked like I couldn't break you, but I seemed to have done just that. You've never been one to struggle to find the answer. In fact, you've always had something to say."

"Because normally, everyone around me is wrong," she answered, still giggling. "And that was...very right."

He chuckled but said nothing more as his hands moved lower, over her hips and down to the outside of her legs. The rubbing felt good after how tense she was, trying to brace herself for each of his thrusts, but what she really needed now was to soak in some warm water and maybe find something to eat. Skipping breakfast had been a bad idea, and now, she was running low on both energy and brain power.

"Want to move to the jacuzzi before we head in to make dinner?" he asked, as though he could somehow read her very thoughts.

"That sounds amazing, but I'm not sure I can walk."

Fisk only chuckled again, his hands moving to under her knees before lifting her up out of his lap and wrapping her legs around his waist. He moved easily, effortlessly, and in seconds, he had them out of the water and was setting her on the side of the pool. "You say that like I didn't promise you wouldn't need to walk while you were here. I've proven myself time and again, but still you doubt I can keep my word?"

She could barely remember half of what he had promised in those messages, despite reading them multiple times on her journey there that morning. Had it truly only been that morning? She had no idea how long she had even been there, having taken off her watch before her shower the night before, her cell phone somewhere inside in her bag.

"Oh, no. If you say you can do it, I believe you, but you fucked all the oxygen out of my brain, remember? I can barely even remember my own name at this point, let alone all the promises you made me."

"You're Lily," he answered casually as he hoisted himself out of the pool before bending down to scoop her up bridal style, easily lifting all her weight into his arms before heading towards the jacuzzi. "I'm Fisk. According to the app we matched on, we are a perfect match."

Lily didn't even try to hide her laughter as her hands settled behind his neck—not that she needed to hold on at all. She just liked touching him. "I think that app might be onto something."

"You think?" he asked, looking down at her for a brief moment with an odd look in his eye. It was half questioning, half curious, like he wanted to be sure she meant what she was saying.

"I guess we'll have to see where this leads us," she teased, although somehow, deep down, she was thinking about the app's promise more and more.

Because what was happening here, between her and Fisk? It was so much more than she had been expecting or even hoped for. A lifelong perfect match was never something she had expected in the cards for her, but a good hookup? That was something she was always chasing after, particularly when work was no longer interrupting her social schedule.

She wanted to know more, to know where the weekend would lead them. Would he tolerate her workaholic tendencies? Would he grow bored with her? Would she grow tired of having someone else in her space?

Only time would tell if he even wanted to continue past their previously agreed upon weekend.

Fisk began stepping down, and that was the only warning Lily had before warmth enveloped first her butt, then her feet, and finally, the rest of her up to her shoulders. She let out a sigh as her body immediately began to relax, releasing her hold on Fisk to let her hands settle in her lap. She had half expected him to set her down to sit beside him, but instead, he held her in his lap and guided her head to his shoulder before moving his free hand to interlock his fingers with hers.

She knew she should say something, but she was far too relaxed to come up with anything. She was still a little dazed from the orgasms, but with the warmth of the jacuzzi around her, she could feel her heart slowly beginning to settle to a normal speed.

"What is it you want to know about me?" Fisk asked, his question reminding her of their discussion from before their dip in the pool.

"What is it I should know?" she retorted, raising her eyebrow slightly, even though she knew he couldn't see.

Fisk was silent for a long moment, although he wasn't still. His thumb brushed the back of her knuckles, his other hand moving up her back, stroking along her spine. She knew he was considering her question, considering what it was she should know about him.

His silence should have worried her, should have made her fear what he was thinking, what he would say, but instead, she appreciated his quiet consideration, knowing that whatever he did say wouldn't scare her.

She knew it was crazy to have just agreed to spend a weekend with a man she had done no research about, to just agree without a thought or a care, but something inside her was telling her she was meant to be here, with him. Whether it was her gut instinct or something else, she was no longer sure, but from the moment his face popped up on the screen, she had wanted to be with him, and the longer she spent with him, the less she doubted the app's promise.

It was crazy that the app had been free, because they must have spent a fortune on whatever data they used to find her a man who could give her everything she had never even spoken out loud.

Almost as crazy as he seemed to be about her…unless he was crazy.

Or maybe she was the crazy one. Deep down, Lily knew she was already starting to think long term about being with Fisk. Everything about him made her want something more , something different . It made her want to wake up every morning beside him, fall asleep every night wrapped up in his arms.

She had been with him for only a few hours, half of a day at most, and yet...

He had promised her everything, promised she could set the pace and the destination.

She had time to figure out what she wanted with him, and even more important, how she felt about him.

Because if there was one thing she knew for sure, it was that she wasn't in love with him. It was impossible for people to fall in love that fast.

Falling in love after just a few hours simply wasn't reality...

It was a good thing that Fisk was a dream, then. A dream come true, all her desires wrapped up into one, and he seemed to desire her just as much.

It was crazy to even consider the word love , but maybe after getting to know him better, she could keep him...and enjoy the stubble he had promised her.

She really did want the stubble burn.

"I know you're waiting for an answer, but the more I try to think about what to tell you, I keep thinking I should make a confession first."

She sat up slightly in his lap, her nerves suddenly building, but as she turned to look at him, she saw his cheeks were turning red. She doubted it was from the warmth surrounding them. Whatever his confession was, it was clearly something embarrassing rather than scary.

"If you tell me you were a virgin before I arrived, I'm going to call bullshit," she teased, knowing that wasn't his confession.

There was no fucking way.

"No, I'm not a virgin," Fisk chuckled, shaking his head slightly. "I mean, I was when you and I first met, but that was fifteen years ago. I was a boy when I first saw you."

"Fifteen?" she questioned, raising her brow slightly as she shifted on his lap. "Wait, when did we graduate? I thought we just passed ten, no, eleven—"

"You think I didn't know who you were before we shared upper-level classes?" he laughed, shaking his head slightly. "I mean, I wasn't worth remembering, so that's not surprising, but we shared a few 100-level classes. You were always beautiful, always looking like you were ready to walk a runway no matter the time. I always thought you were going to go pre-law, and I would never see you again after we finished our general courses, but then there you were, sitting a few rows back my first day junior year, looking effortlessly cool and composed. I knew right then and there that you would take the business world by storm."

"I..." She was a little embarrassed, trying to remember if she had ever noticed him in any of her earlier classes. She was drawing a complete blank. "Maybe it's the lack of oxygen, but I can't even remember most of those classes."

"Like I said, I don't expect you to remember me, but you're unforgettable, Lily Durham. I've had a crush on you since the first time I saw you, but I never expected to end up here with you."

"What, naked in your lap after you just fucked me until I couldn't walk?" she teased, trying to ignore the blush now growing on her own cheeks. None of it was anything she didn't already know, but something about hearing him say it made it feel like more .

He started laughing and shaking his head slightly, needing a few moments before he could respond. "That was never even in the realm of possibilities. Sure, I realized if I ever wanted a woman like you, I couldn't be scared of my own shadow, but I never thought the woman who might end up in my lap was you."

Lily could feel her cheeks burning even more, and she rested her head back on his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't comment on the blush she could no longer ignore. "You had a real crush, hmm? While the confidence looks good on you now, if you had fucked me like that our final year, I would have definitely gone out with you."

"No," Fisk said as his stroking stilled, his voice going eerily calm. "No, I was too awkward back then. I was always stumbling and hadn't grown into my body yet. I didn't know how to talk to a woman, let alone touch one. I wasn't worthy of a queen like you back then."

"And you think you're worthy of me now?" she asked without thought, although now that the question was asked, she wanted to know the truth of it. Not because she thought herself better than him, but she was curious how deep his new confidence went.

"I don't think there's a man, alive or dead, who is worthy of you," he answered idly, as though he had already thought it through before she ever asked the question. "But I'll gladly worship you for as long as you'll let me."

Her cheeks were definitely red, but there was a new burning she couldn't ignore, although not from the place she would have expected. With all this talk of touching a woman, of worshipping her, it would be no surprise if she suddenly felt the need to have him do just that all over again, but instead, the burning was coming from her chest, with a new need she couldn't describe.

Couldn't? More like she didn't want to.

Because that burning was coming from her heart. She felt a deep need to tell him he was more than worthy of her, that she was the lucky one to be with him, that she wanted him now and for as long as he would have her. It felt too close to the idea of love, and that was already something she had decided to ignore.

It would be so easy to fall in love with Fisk.

"But that's what I needed to confess," he continued, his voice sounding very far away all of a sudden. "I've had a crush on you for longer than you've known of my existence, and a part of me never let it go."

"I was always the girl of your dreams, even after a decade," she whispered, realizing then that she wasn't just a model for his fantasies but the actual one he was fantasizing about. All this time, he still had a crush. "No one else ever..."

"There were other girls, but none of them were like you, Lily. None of them could ever compare."

Lifting her head from his shoulder, Lily sat upright in his lap and turned so she was now facing him, or at least facing him as best she could while still sitting sideways on his lap. He turned his head to look at her, a casual smile on his lips, but she could see it didn't reach his eyes.

He was nervous. Very nervous.

Lily pulled her hand away before raising it out of the water to gently touch his jaw. She could feel the start of a little stubble there, a hint that it was later in the day than she had originally guessed. Her fingers brushed over the slight prickle until her palm was pressed against his jaw and the wrinkles on his forehead began to soften.

"Your feelings aren't one sided," she whispered, smiling with her words. "This, whatever this is... I want to know more. I want to know you more."

He let out a breath she was pretty sure he had been holding, and then he leaned forward, his eyes closing. She was certain he would kiss her, but instead, his forehead pressed against hers. She closed her eyes as well, rubbing her nose against his as she did so, soaking in the feeling of him against her, and not in a sexual way. He was warm, solid, stable, and the longer they sat there like that, the more relaxed he became.

Eventually, though, she had to pull back slightly, opening her eyes as she did so. Fisk did as well, but before he could say anything else, she was shifting on his lap, sitting on his knees and pressing both hands against his face. His hands moved to her lower back, and she leaned in to kiss him but hesitated just before she did.

He closed the distance, kissing her gently, almost like he was scared she would pull away. She leaned into him, though, her body shifting up his legs until she was comfortably in his lap, his hands relaxed so he could wrap his arms around her back. When they pulled away for air, neither went far, and then she was kissing him again, deeper this time, parting her lips slowly, tentatively.

It was like a first kiss, a first kiss they would have had if not for the app, if not for her having already confessed her need and him promising to pleasure her better than anyone else she could find on a dating app. There was no need to push forward, no urgency to their movements. They were kissing to kiss, to connect, to feel one another, and it made the burning in her heart settle, as though she had fed whatever need there was within her.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured against her lips, and she smiled before kissing him again. Her fingers ran into his hair then down to the back of his neck while her breasts pushed against his chest. His hands were still respectful as they moved down her back again, to the back of her thighs to pull her closer to him. She could feel his cock against her slit, half hard and ready to go, but he made no movement to even try.

She wouldn't push it either.

Because this wasn't about sex. This wasn't about getting off or finding release. This was far more intimate, far more connected, and somehow, having sex as they had earlier would ruin the moment.

And when she finally pulled away to take a breath, she didn't move back in for more, instead smiling at him. He smiled back immediately, all the nervous tension gone from his face. He was relaxed again, happy, even, just the way she liked him.

"I think you said something about dinner?" she prompted, licking her lips. "I don't even know what time it is, but—"

"It's late afternoon, but after the workout we've had..."

He hardened slightly against her, making her want to moan from both that and the memory of what they had done, but the wince on his face had her giggling as she ran her fingers into the short strands of his hair again.

"Come on. We can use the shower out here to wash off the saltwater, and then we can figure out something to eat while we talk."

Oh, she liked the sound of that.

Sitting on a barstool with a fluffy robe wrapped around her and a glass of wine in hand, Lily hummed to herself as she continued scrolling on Fisk's laptop. He had offered it to her after they had entered the kitchen, telling her to search him online so she would have a better idea of who he was since she last saw him a decade earlier. She had agreed simply out of curiosity, but as she read the results, she now had more questions than answers.

Headline after headline, her eyes flicked from the picture to the first few words of the article, only to scroll down to the next one. There was nothing salacious, nothing to raise any red flags, not even anything very exciting . He was good with money, good with his company, a good boss. There were no incidents at sea, no ships lost, no lawsuits, not even a disgruntled complaint sent in about him, as far as she could see. Either he had a very good person scrubbing the internet of anything bad about himself and his company, or he was a good, solid, boring businessman.

A businessman who apparently enjoyed traveling on his own freighters. That was the confusing part. Most companies, the cargos, the crews, they were all different parts and pieces, but not Fisk's. His ships, his crew, his cargo, he personally guaranteed. The company had been in his family for some time, which explained why he was so successful at a young age, but after a few more searches, she could find nothing bad about his family either.

He had been groomed to take the position, and he had more than risen to the challenge.

It explained how he had more money than he apparently knew what to do with, but other than the large, apparently custom-built house on a private beach, nothing else about him screamed wealth . He was using pans she was pretty sure she owned a few of, the wine in her glass was good but nothing spectacular, and the plates sitting on the drying rack were simple.

He was a solid, practical, good man.

And here she was, sitting at his counter, watching him pull items from the fridge to make her dinner.

"You like seafood, right?" Fisk asked over his shoulder as he walked towards a closed door, opening it to reveal a well-stocked pantry. She only had a glimpse, but every item was in the original container, the canned goods looked like the same brand she purchased at the grocery store, and she even spotted an apron hanging up on a hook.

He was so... normal , and that was the most surprising thing of all.

"Yes, I do," she answered quickly after remembering his question. She had been staring at him, lost in thought, while he stood at the now-closed pantry door, waiting for her answer.

He was so patient with her, never rushing her. Not for answers, nor when she was close to an orgasm. She liked his patience. It was a good contrast to her own impatience .

"Good. It's just about the only thing I eat, so if you want a meal that is more substantial than a peanut butter sandwich, it's going to be seafood."

A peanut butter sandwich? So very normal.

And not boring. Not at all. A decade ago, she would have considered a sandwich utterly dull and childish, but now that he mentioned it, she almost had a craving for a peanut butter and jelly with a glass of milk.

Not that she was going to mention that right now, not when he seemed very determined as he spread ingredients on the counter with a chef knife to begin chopping vegetables.

"Planning to win me over with a good meal?" she teased, now ignoring the laptop.

The answers to her questions wouldn't be found from a Google search.

"Would that work?" he asked, not looking up from his cutting board.

Lily laughed as she picked her wine glass up again, not even certain how to answer his question. She took a sip as she mulled over how to respond, knowing the truth would likely be too far. The truth was, he could burn the food, and she would still end up fucking him until dawn.

There was no need for all the extras, but she wouldn't mind being wined and dined.

"I'm actually a pretty good cook," Fisk began without waiting for her answer. "I know you would probably expect a personal chef after looking me up, but I like my privacy and my solitude. Having staff in the house doing the cooking and cleaning would take away from that. Plus, I like what I like and don't need anything too fancy or exquisite to be satisfied. I enjoy cooking and experimenting with flavors. Not everything turns out perfectly the first time, but I have my favorite meals locked down."

"Good, because I am not a good cook. I'll go ahead and ban myself from cooking any meals for us in the future." The words were past her lips before she could think them through.

A future. A future where he would cook and she would be banned from the kitchen, and... and...

The smile on his face widened, and he set the knife down as he looked up at her. She could tell what he wanted to do, knew he was considering forgetting the meal altogether as he took a step towards her, but she shook her head, grinning back at him.

"No. If you walk over here to kiss me, then we really will end up eating peanut butter sandwiches tonight. Keep chopping."

His laugh warmed her even more than the jacuzzi had, but he did as instructed, picking up the knife again to resume his prep work, though his eyes continued to flick up to her.

Fuck, if he kept looking at her like he wanted to eat her more than whatever he was cooking, she would end up asking for those sandwiches now.

"So you own a shipping company?" she asked as her eyes passed over the still-open laptop. "And run it as well?"

"I do," he agreed with a nod of his head. "Well, I guess, technically, I'm co-owner with my father and grandfather, but their shares will all be mine one day, and I'll eventually split my shares with any future children."

His ears suddenly began turning red, and she noted he was no longer looking up at her, almost as though he was forcing himself to stare at the cutting board. It took her a second to realize he was embarrassed and what the cause of it was.

Children.

Oh... That was...

Lily's mouth was suddenly very dry, and she picked up her glass. She quickly drained it, needing both whatever hydration wine could provide and the alcohol to relax her brain. He wanted children. That was something important to know, something she should consider if she was considering a future beyond this weekend.

In truth, children had never really been something she thought about. Having a child typically required having a partner, and she had never thought to find someone she would want to keep around long term. Raising a child alone was a daunting idea, and so she could have used a sperm donor or adopted, she had pushed down any maternal desires with the mental reminder that there was no way she would raise a child alone . At least, not by choice.

But now, there was a beautiful man standing just feet from her, making her dinner after fucking her brains out, and she wanted to keep him, wanted to know what made him her perfect match, and he wanted children, and...

Peanut butter sandwiches sounded really good now.

"I think I'm going to have a glass of water," Lily announced, knowing if she reached for the bottle of wine on the counter, it would be a mistake. She needed to hydrate after the workout he had put her through, not get herself intoxicated to where she said something stupid, like he should put babies in her so she could keep him around to keep fucking her like she wanted, or something worse, like she hoped love was a real thing so she could fall in love with him.

Great. Now she was blushing as well.

"Do you want more wine?" he asked as he finally looked up at her, looking concerned. "I can get you water, of course, but—"

"No, no more wine," she laughed, shaking her head. "That would be—"

"What, scared you'll drink too much and forget a moment with me?" His confident smirk was back, but she could still see the redness in his cheeks.

Redness she was certain was burning all over her face.

"I like it when you're cool and confident like this," she teased. "And please. I don't think it would be possible to forget what you do to me even if I tried."

He shook his head with a grin before grabbing them both a glass of water then returning to his prep work. He was almost through with the vegetables on the counter, and she watched quietly as he turned towards the stovetop, setting a pan on a burner and turning it on. She couldn't see everything he was doing, but in a few seconds, he was turning back towards her and resuming his earlier work on the cutting board, now with a piece of fish.

"Anything else you want to ask me?" he asked, thankfully giving them a new topic of conversation that was not about children. "Or is it my turn to ask questions about you?"

"Did you already do research on me?" she questioned, raising her brow slightly while she reached over to close the laptop. She was done with it, preferring to watch him work instead of staring at a screen.

"I should probably say no, but yes, I looked you up," he admitted, his cheeks growing pink once more. "I couldn't believe it was you when your pictures popped up. Spent the whole night thinking about you, in fact, and when I woke up this morning... Well, I figured you were going to do the same. Guess I was wrong."

Lily laughed, amazed at how they had seemingly reversed roles. She had always been one to do the research while he had always seemed so unprepared back in school.

Perhaps they really were a perfect match.

"I thought about it, but to be honest, what I wanted to know, I wouldn't have found online."

"And what did you want to know?" he asked, raising a brow at her slightly.

"Nope, it's not your turn yet. I'm the one asking the questions," she teased, shaking her head. There was no way she would admit that all she had cared about that morning was whether he could fuck her as well as he had promised. Besides, those questions were already answered. What she wanted to know now was so much deeper . "What did you find when you looked me up?"

"Should have been a lawyer," he muttered, chuckling to himself. "I found your job and a few pictures of you. It only confirmed what I already knew—that you were somehow even more beautiful now than you had been a decade ago."

She was going to ignore the second half of his statement, at least for the moment. "Ahh, yes, my job. The very thing I am currently on vacation from."

"Yes, but do you enjoy it?" He sounded genuinely curious with his question, making her smile.

"I do. I do enjoy my job, but sometimes, it's too demanding on my time. I seem to spend half my time trying to politely tell people they're stupid, the other half fixing whatever they've fucked up because they never listened to me in the first place."

"Brains and beauty, two things I already knew about you."

Oh, she could live off peanut butter sandwiches if she had to.

"But thankfully, since most of the clients don't actually walk into the office and I work alone, I can work from home most days. It's nice to both not be working and not be looking at the walls of my apartment."

"Oh, so you can work from anywhere?" he asked, smirking slightly. "Like, even from a beach house?"

She could tell as soon as the words were out of his mouth that he hadn't meant to say that, but there was no way she was going to let him squirm as she pretended to think about an answer. "So long as the view is good, I think I could work from anywhere."

He grinned again, but before he could say anything else, she let the little wine in her system do the talking for them—or at least, that was what she would claim later, if she swung and it didn't land.

"I hope you're as good at cooking as you think you are, because between the comfortable bed, the giant bath tub, and the view I have right now, I think the only thing missing from me finding a new work space is good food. I'm a harsh judge when it comes to food, though. You have a challenge on your hands."

He sucked in a breath, and she could tell, as he slowly looked up at her, that not only had she made a hit, but it was flying straight out of the park.

"Lily Durham, you're a challenge worth putting in all the work for."

She smiled at his answer, amazed at how warm she felt all over, like something inside her was healing, something she hadn't even realized was broken.

If love was real and possible for her, she was pretty sure she was currently feeling it.

"You are so beautiful when you smile at me like that," he breathed out then shook his head slightly. "But if you really are as bad at cooking as you say, please stay on that barstool while I finish making dinner. If I want to keep you here, I'm pulling out all the stops. One more look at you, and we'll be eating peanut butter."