5. Chapter 5

"All right, spill," a certain tiny blonde orders as he unceremoniously plops himself onto my lap, his intent not remotely sexual, only—I'm certain—to keep me from running.

"Afternoon, Alex," I reply, reaching around him for my water. At least I'm done eating.

"Don't afternoon me, Teddy Bear. You're in trouble."

Alex's crossed arms and frown have me biting back a laugh. The man is a sprite, not nearly as threatening as he pretends to be.

"Am I?" I ask.

He huffs. "Don't play coy with me."

"All right. Well, this was fun, but I should get going," I say, standing up and tossing Alex over my shoulder. He yelps.

"Put me down, you big, furry—" Alex's hand comes down hard on my ass, and he goes still. "Ow, fuck. My hand. What are you smuggling in here, a boulder?" He gives my ass a softer pat, yelping again when I deposit him onto a couch. He hops up to his knees in an instant. "Theodore!"

I raise a brow, but as soon as I register the genuine concern on Alex's face, I sigh and drop into a seat next to him. "What do you want to know?"

He huffs, but the sound has lost its ire. "You and Kipp. What the fuck, Teddy?"

"We were drunk. We got married. It doesn't mean anything. End of story."

"But you like him," he says quietly.

I don't bother asking Alex how he knows. He's observant. He must have noticed the way I look at Kipp, even though the man himself seemed oblivious before this past weekend.

"Doesn't matter," I say. "You know I'm not looking for a relationship."

"Which is exactly why you went and got married," Alex says with all the sass of a porn star twink.

"I honestly don't know how it happened," I admit, even though there's not a single part of me that's surprised. I can't remember what led us to that chapel, no, but I was clearly too inebriated to fight the pull that's been anchored on one side to Kipp ever since I met the man. "Regardless, we'll file for an annulment at some point, and then Kipp will move out. Simple as that."

Alex cocks his head. "Move out?"

The arrival of Dixon in the break room saves me from Alex's questioning.

Dixon stops, crossing his arms. "You and Kipp."

I hold back my groan. "Apparently."

"Niko is concerned," Dixon says, arching an eyebrow.

I understand why Kipp's best friend would be worried about him, but surely he and Dixon know I didn't go out of my way to impulsively marry the man? I mean, for fuck's sake, I've been doing everything in my power to be good around him.

But I'm only human. Slip-ups happen.

Even ones as big as this.

"There's nothing to be concerned about," I assure Dixon, knowing my message will be relayed if he sees Niko before I do. "We're handling it."

Dixon grunts, heading over to the fridge to grab a drink. Our break room at Elite 8 Studios is always stocked, both with beverages and snacks for the performers and crew. Porn is hungry work.

"Grumpy Bear," Alex muses, eyeing Dixon in a way that has my guard going up. "When you first met Niko, didn't you adamantly deny your attraction to him?"

Oh, here we go.

"Pretty sure you know the full story, you meddlesome pixie," Dixon answers.

We all do. Dixon and Niko fucked on set long before they started dating. In Dixon's case, it was annoyance-at-first-sight when it came to our Greek costar.

Alex, undeterred, says, "Yeah, but you were so determined to hate him, remember? Until you realized how nice it is to have someone there for you. Someone who has your best interest at heart."

Dixon pops his drink open, raising a brow.

"And now," Alex goes on, "you're in love and all happy, and everything's just great, right?"

"Sure?" Dixon says slowly.

Alex's grin turns my way.

"I see what you're doing," I inform him. "It's not going to work."

Alex pouts so dramatically, it's a miracle I don't laugh. "Teddy. But you like him. I know you do."

I shrug, getting up.

"Why are you fighting this?" he asks softly. "What happened?"

I gather my trash from the table, dumping it on my way to the door. "I found out hearts can be broken."

Alex doesn't say anything to that as I leave the room, but I can feel his frown following me out the door. I shake it off as I stroll down the hallways of Elite 8 Studios. Lights are on outside Studio 2 and 3, indicating filming is underway. A few crewmen pass, Raylin waves from inside her small cosmetology den of horrors, and Nathaniel, the assistant producer, gives a nod as he talks on the phone. I swear the man owns more argyle sweaters than any one person should. But hey, I'm not one to judge.

Since I'm done filming for the day, I head out the door with the intent of going home. I'm halfway to my car when my phone rings. I don't recognize the number, but it's local.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Were you going to tell me?"

I stop still, letting my phone drop down to my side as I look heavenward and sigh. This. This is why I don't talk about it. One word to Alex, and it's like I breathed the man into existence. I bring my phone back to my ear, not bothering with niceties. "You changed your number."

"Because you blocked me."

"For a reason."

Antoni doesn't care. "He's pretty."

I heave a breath I can feel throughout my entire body. "What are you doing?"

"Catching up," my ex responds. "I'm hurt. You didn't invite me to the wedding."

"Why would I possibly do that?" I ask, unlocking my car with the key fob.

He makes a short sound. "Well, that's rude. We used to be close once upon a time. Daddy."

"Don't," I grit out. "Don't you fucking dare."

He sighs, the sound quiet beside the pounding of my pulse.

"Why are you calling, Antoni?" I ask, my voice surprisingly controlled considering how I feel inside. "Truly, for what reason? Are you not happy with my brother anymore?"

"I love him very much," he answers.

"Then why are you calling me?"

He's quiet for a moment, and I have half a mind to hang up. I blocked Antoni's number for a reason. It's been over five years since we broke up. Over two since I last talked to either him or Cameron. Neither has a place in my life anymore.

"I miss you, Theo," he finally answers. "We could be friends, you know. All of us."

"Yeah, no, not happening. Bye, Antoni."

"Wait," he says, his tone making me pause. "You could sell your shares. Then I'll stop calling."

I huff a bitter laugh. Of course, it always comes down to money with Antoni. More money, more prestige, more power.

"I helped build that company," I reply, tone clipped. "I'm not selling."

With that, I hang up, not giving Antoni a chance to respond. I block his new number, and then I get into my car, gripping the steering wheel so tight my knuckles ache. I breathe in and out slowly, forcing my heart rate to calm.

It's fine. They can't hurt me anymore.

So why does it still ache so fucking badly?

I expect the apartment to be empty when I get home, but it's not. The door is cracked open, and Kipp is standing just inside, a couple of boxes on the floor in front of him.

He looks over at me with a soft smile that instantly has my tension dropping. "Hey."

"Hey," I reply, closing the door and stepping out of my shoes. "Why aren't you at work?"

Kipp brushes his hair back, the strands disheveled. "I was, but Carly insisted I take the afternoon off to finish moving, so I've been doing that. My coworkers, uh… They sent me home with a cake."

He waves his hand toward the kitchen, where what can only be described as a miniature wedding cake sits. The three-tiered structure is covered in white frosting and pink flowers, and Kipp's face blooms just about the same rosy hue.

"I told them no gifts," he says. "That would have been too much, considering—you know." He motions between us. Considering our marriage is fake.

"I understand," I assure him before pointing at the boxes near his feet. "Need any help with those?"

"I'm on the last one," he says. "Question. Do you wanna keep separate sex toy drawers or consolidate?"

I bark a laugh, unable not to. "You want your toys in with the Dildo of Death?"

"I mean, sure," he says with a grin. "It's not like it'll rub off on them." He pauses, considering his words. "You know what I mean."

"Put your stuff wherever you want," I tell him, shaking my head in bemusement. "I'm not picky."

Kipp's head tilts to the side. "There you go again, being decidedly laissez-faire about your space. Don't you, I don't know, like to be in charge of your possessions?"

I still, my entire body prickling with awareness before I shove the feeling away. Far away.

"With certain things," I admit, heading past Kipp toward the bedroom. He follows, watching as I clear a drawer in my dresser. I go to the closet next, pushing everything to one side. "Better?"

"Yeah, thanks," he says with a sheepish smile.

I nod, and Kipp walks with me back toward the kitchen.

"Do you ever do your software development from home?" I ask, pulling a few things from the fridge to make a smoothie.

He looks at me curiously. "You know about my job?"

"I do." I've heard him talk to Niko about it.

"Well, no, it's rare for me to work remotely," he says, poking through one of his boxes. "In fact, I don't do the coding side of things much anymore. I mostly deal with clients and coordinate projects amongst the staff."

"So you're in charge," I note, popping some berries into the blender.

Kipp chuckles. "I mean, no. I'm not the boss. That's Carly."

"But it sounds like you keep everyone organized. I don't think you're nearly as much of a mess as you think you are, Kipp."

He looks at me with a crinkled sort of smile. "Heh. Not sure about that."

I shrug, powering on the blender. The yogurt and fruit mixes, the sound of it temporarily blocking out conversation. Once done, I dump the contents into two glasses, setting a reusable straw in one. I offer it to Kipp. "Here."

"Oh. Thanks," he says, accepting the drink. He takes a sip as I start cleaning out the blender. "Holy shit. Teddy. That's good."

I chuckle, although the sound he makes as he sucks down more of the smoothie has me feeling things I'd rather not think about. "Glad you like it."

"Love it," he says, tucking the cup in the crook of his arm as he brings some clothes down the hall.

I shake my head. "Stop it. He's not yours."

Kipp saunters back into the room, straw in his mouth. His cheeks hollow as he drinks.

Not. Yours.

"Should we cut the cake?" he asks.

I still. "What?"

Kipp motions to the white mini-monstrosity on the counter. "Our cake."

I clear my throat and grab a knife, handing it over. "Have at it."

"No. Teddy, you have to do it with me," he pleads, apparently not caring that he's systemically chipping away at every single wall I've so carefully erected. Hell, I'm pretty sure he knocked his way clean through the other night.

"Do I, though?" I ask weakly.

"Yes," he says, tone firm. "I mean, shit, this might be the only time I ever get married. I want to do it right, you know?"

This man… He's dangerous.

Blowing out a breath, I concede with a nod. "Fine. Let's cut the cake."

Kipp grins.

When I step up beside him, I curl my hand over his own on the handle of the knife. I dutifully ignore the rapid thudding of my heart.

"Okay, so how do we do this?" Kipp asks. "Do we cut through all layers at once or only the top?"

"I vote top."

He nods, and with more care than the occasion warrants, we cut a line through the center of the top tier of cake. Then we make a second cut, creating a small wedge. I let go, and Kipp uses the knife to pry the piece free. He plucks off a crumbling corner with his fingers and turns to me.

"Here. Open up," he says before his eyes light. "Hey, it's like Friday night!"

I huff a breath, shaking my head. Against my better judgment, I open my mouth.

Kipp's fingers drag lightly across my bottom lip as he sets the bite of cake on my tongue. His gaze is focused, serious, even, as he watches me chew. Then, with a glimmer of mischievousness, he rubs the rest of the piece down my nose and chin.

We both freeze at the exact same time, and Kipp blinks at me, his face drawn in shock. "I, uh," he stammers. And then he takes off, running out of the room before I can stop him.

"Kipp!"

"I'm sorry!" he yells from down the hall. "Shit, I didn't mean to."

I wipe the cake off my face, huffing a laugh. "Kipling! Get your ass back here."

"Or what?" he calls back, sounding very far away. "You'll spank me?"

Oh, if only he knew…

"I'm not ready to die, Teddy!" he shouts. "I haven't even been divorced yet."

My laughter falls from me like dominoes, one leading to another and another, until I'm all but toppled. Despite being supposedly terrified, I can hear Kipp laughing from down the hall, too.

Fucking hell.

No good can come from having feelings for my husband.