Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Kendell

KELSEY, GIDEON, AND I moved into Hawk's house almost a week ago. I've been there for my sister every single second. I make sure Kelsey and Gideon get to the warehouses for the counseling sessions and anything else they have to do there. We're always followed by a group of guys so we're never alone. Kelsey reverted back to herself, not wanting to get out of bed, barely speaking, and hardly watching Gideon. I've picked up the slack because my sister is truly afraid of Martin. She's afraid for her life and whatever threats he's used against her son. I don't even want to know what Martin said about an innocent little boy because I'll more than likely find the fucker and kill him. Martin's days are numbered and I will make sure he pays for everything he's done to my sister one way or another.

I share Hawk's bed with him every single night. We haven't had sex again, but two days after we were together, a vibrator showed up in the bedroom. I found it in the drawer with my underwear. Hawk was at the clubhouse and my sister was sleeping with Gideon. So, I got in bed and tried it out. The entire time I almost stopped so many times because the words of my father kept replaying in my head. But then Hawk's words overtook them and I let myself go. For the first time in my life, I didn't care if I was sinning or not. I let myself feel every sensation flowing through me and experimented to see what I liked and didn't like. Hawk hasn't said anything about the vibrator, but maybe he's waiting for me to say something to him. I don't know that I could honestly say something to him.

When he told me to talk to him when we were having sex, I thought I was gonna die. He didn't let me hide from him or just let him call all the shots. Hawk truly wanted me right there in the moment with him. To figure out what I like and don't like. The talking was nothing compared to when he slid my hand down my body, making me touch myself. At first, I honestly thought he'd guide me on what to do. But not Hawk. He removed his hand and let me figure it out for myself. Hawk won't always be with me so there was no reason for him to direct and guide me in that part of sex. Eventually whatever we have going on will come to an end and I'll walk away. Or he'll walk away. I'll be left alone to find someone else who will be with me. Hopefully someone who will know what the hell they're doing and won't let me down. I mean that's if I'm not pregnant.

When Hawk told me the condom broke, I honestly didn't know how I was feeling. I've never let myself think about having kids or anything like that. A part of me always figured that I'd end up like my mom and I didn't want to bring kids into a relationship like that. I don't want to bring kids up in a broken home where we all have to walk on eggshells because the man I chose to be with can't keep his hands to himself. So, kids and all that shit was a dream I never allowed myself to have. Kelsey had dreams about that big enough for the both of us. She always wanted a large family with a ton of kids. Her wedding was the things you see in those wedding magazines. Kelsey wanted the big, puffy dress with a hundred bridesmaids and her husband and his groomsmen in tuxedos. Instead, she got brought in front of a judge and the ceremony was over in a matter of minutes. There wasn't a dress, flowers, bridesmaid, or Martin in a tuxedo. He didn't even wear a suit. The fucker wore a pair of dirty jeans, a tee-shirt that was stained and had holes in it, and he was still drunk from the night before. I watched on as my sister's heart broke and could do nothing to stop it from happening.

That was the day I shut down completely and told myself I'd never let myself get put in a situation where I didn't have a choice in what was gonna happen in my life. There was no way a man would control every aspect of my life. That's what Martin did to my sister. He controlled every single thing she did, every word that came out of her mouth, and how she acted when he actually took her out in public. Martin slowly took everything away from Kelsey until there was nothing left of her but a shell. Now, she's working so hard to put the pieces back together and I won't let that fucker get close enough to her again to rip away all of that hard work she's been doing. I'm so fucking proud of her and that's something I have to tell her more of.

Now I find myself in the exact situation I didn't ever want to find myself in. Hawk and I might be having a baby together because a condom broke. I don't believe he'd ever try to control me or anything like that. What I do know is I feel as if I'm trapping him and there's nothing I can do to change it. What's done is done and we just have to wait to see if I get my period or not. It should be a few weeks and then I'll know one way or the other. Hawk will be the first to know and then we'll go from there. I'm not getting my thoughts up either way because there's nothing I can do to change what happened now. Neither one of us can.

Getting off the couch, I have to get out of the house. I've been in the house since we moved in because Hawk doesn't trust Martin not to try and get on the compound despite all of the security measures he has in place. After putting on a pair of flip flops I left just inside the door with Hawk's other shoes that aren't kept in his room, I head outside and make my way to the clubhouse. No one's outside any of the houses as I walk past them. When I get to the back door of the clubhouse, I find it unlocked as I make my way inside and head for the kitchen. Maybe I can make everyone dinner or something.

When I get in the kitchen, I find it empty and completely trashed. There's stacks of dirty dishes, garbage overflowing in the cans, and food has been left out. It smells like shit and I can't believe no one's said anything about the state of this kitchen. Alex would be losing her mind right now if she were here. Unfortunately, it doesn't look as if anyone's around. So, I take a deep breath, pull out my phone to select a playlist and get busy cleaning. I can't even think about cooking everyone a meal in this mess. Starting with the garbage, I tie up the bags and carry them out the back door of the kitchen to the dumpster that sits around the side of the clubhouse. Once I've removed the overflowing bags, started new ones, and collected the rest of the garbage from all over the place, I get working on the dishes. The dishwasher is full and I know they're clean as I look them over before removing them all and acquainting myself with the kitchen as I put the dishes away.

After loading up the dishwasher again, I start it and then finish the rest of the dishes by hand. Don't get me wrong, I love a dishwasher when it comes to cleaning up after this many people. However, there's something soothing about washing dishes by hand. The second I fill the dish drainer, I grab a towel and dry them off to get the first load put away before starting the rest of the dishes. It takes me forever to get just the garbage and dishes done before I move on to wiping everything else down. I clean the oven and then sweep and mop the floor.

By the time I get finished cleaning up the room, I'm covered in grime and sweat. I want to go take a shower before I do anything else, but if I leave now, I won't come back and finish what I started. So, I wash my hands and take a few paper towels to wipe down my face so I can cool down a little bit. There's no fan in the kitchen and even with the backdoor left open, there's no cooling it down in here. If I'd known it was gonna be like this, I would've planned on cooking at Hawk's house before bringing everything down for the men and women to eat.

Looking through everything, I find everything I need to make stuffed shells, garlic bread with cheese, a huge salad, and a few different things for dessert. I'm going to make chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, brownies, cheesecake, and some cake with homemade frosting. I don't want to make a trip to the store for anything because I'll have to take a bunch of guys there with me and it's just not worth it. Pulling out the ingredients I need for the stuffed shells, I start browning several pounds of hamburger. I'm gonna have to make a triple batch of this to feed everyone that's currently here. So, I get to work on browning the burger before finding the largest pot the club has so I can start cooking the shells at the same time.

While I work, I don't pay attention to anything around me. For the first time since I walked in on Martin beating my sister, I truly let go and don't think about a damn thing. Not my sister, Gideon, Hawk, or anything else going on in my life. I simply focus on cooking so I can move onto baking. This is my happy place. A place I know I'll always be able to lose myself when everything spins out of control and I can't focus on anything around me. For so long I've put the focus on my sister and nephew and now I don't have to do that. I'll still support her until she's truly ready to move on with her life and get rid of Martin for good. But, she doesn't need me as much right now. She's focusing on herself and maybe it's time for me to do the same thing.

I've been working for hours just cooking. The shells are in the oven and I've got the garlic bread ready to put in the oven just before I have to pull out the shells to add the cheese. I'm mixing the cookie dough up when the tapping of heels enters the kitchen. I look up to find one of the Fallen girls striding in as if she doesn't have a care in the world. She glares at me and steps up to the island where I'm currently working.

"Can I help you?" I ask her, not letting her intimidate me because I know I can definitely kick her ass.

"Yeah. You can get the fuck away from my man. Hawk doesn't belong fuckin' with a bitch like you. You're nothing more than a common whore. He belongs to me and even though we're on a break right now, he'll be back. He always comes back to me. We're the ones who are meant to be together and you're nothing more than a fucking distraction he doesn't need in his life," the woman says, her voice like nails against a chalkboard.

"I don't know what the fuck you think you're talking about. Hawk told me he's never had a girlfriend and never dated. So, whatever thoughts you have about the two of you are only in your fucked-up mind. Whatever is happening between Hawk and I is between the two of us and no one else. Hawk is a grown ass man and the way you're stomping in here trying to make some sort of claim on him tells me all I need to know. If Hawk wanted to ‘come back' to you or be with you in any sense, he'd tell you to your face. I'm here to support my sister who was in a horrible situation. While she heals, I'm healing from my own shit. I don't give a fuck about you or anything you have to say. So, why don't you kindly take your ass out of the kitchen since you clearly have no clue what happens in this room," I tell her, letting all of my anger, confusion, and pain bubble to the surface in a way I never have before.

"You bitch!" she screeches out, her voice grating on my damn nerves.

She goes to smack me over the island and I easily duck out of her reach before punching her directly in the jaw. Yeah, I know how to throw a fucking punch. Years of self-defense have taught me what I need to know.

"If you don't back the fuck off, I'll have you on the ground in a matter of seconds. I don't play fucking games like you. I know how to fight and I will defend myself. If that means I have to leave with my family, then I'm more than willing to do that because you're the fucking whore. Fucking every member of this club whenever they tell you to fucking spread. If you've been here long enough, I'm sure they aren't even fucking you any longer. They only come to you for blowjobs now because you're pussy is fucking used up. Either fucking help, or get the fuck out of here. Because it's not my job to fucking clean, cook, and bake this shit. Yet, I've been in here for fucking hours because no one's cleaned this kitchen in days. The mess I walked into is atrocious and I'm sure Alex would love to know what the fuck is going on down here," I state the facts as the bitch glares at me because she fucking knows I'm not wrong.

Instead of saying anything else, the bitch turns around. I think she's going to leave, but instead, she starts lashing out. Everything is knocked off the island and crashes to the floor. Including the cookie dough I was just mixing together. Every ingredient flies all over the place. Especially the flour that I had open because I was just about to use it. This skank isn't done though. She knocks over all the chairs before turning to the garbage cans that I already have to empty again after cooking, baking, and cleaning up after myself as I go. I stand back and watch in complete astonishment as she destroys everything I've just cleaned and done. There's no more ingredients to make dessert for the club members now unless I go to the store. All I want to do is find a corner and cry. But, I'm a fucking adult and I'm not about to let this bitch win because she's a petty fucking skank.

"What the fuck is goin' on in here?" Reaper asks, his voice echoing in the kitchen as I look at him while jumping because he just scared the hell out of me.

"This bitch tried to attack me, Reaper. I don't know why she would do something so horrible like that," she cries, pretending to be the victim in all of this instead of the instigator. "I just wanted to make a nice dinner for everyone and then bake something for dessert. Reaper, why is she even here? I've never seen her before in my life."

"Really?" I say, cocking my hip out and placing a hand on it. "What's in the oven right now then?"

"It's, um, it's a roasted chicken in the oven with some homemade biscuits, and I'm gonna make mashed potatoes to go with it and roasted vegetables," she says, still letting her fake as fuck tears roll down her face.

"She's fuckin' lyin'," Hawk speaks up. "Kendell is makin' stuffed shells, garlic bread with cheese, and was gonna bake all sorts of shit based on the ingredients she had spread out on the island. That's after she cleaned the entire kitchen from top to bottom because it was fuckin' trashed. I don't know what the fuck has been goin' on down here, but we've never allowed this shit to happen. When I say it was trashed, I mean completely fuckin' disgustin'. I wouldn't let a fuckin' dog eat in here before Kendell came in and cleaned it up. This bitch has now gone and destroyed all the hard work Kendell did. That shit took her hours and she never once asked for help or went in search to find someone to help her clean and cook."

"I see. So, Kori, you've just stood here and lied to the President of the club along with a few officers. All to get an innocent woman in trouble for doing the shit you're supposed to be doing. Not only did you lie to them, you destroyed club property and could have seriously hurt Kendell all because you decided that you wanted to throw a bitch fit. I've been telling all you fucking girls to keep yourself in check and make sure you're doing the shit you're supposed to be doing. The reason we all know you're lying is because we all watched and heard you on the security footage. We just happened to stop in to see Hawk and he was going through the cameras. Kori, you're fucking done here. You don't get to gather your shit or anything else. I'm tired of you skanks thinking you can come in here and demand shit. If Hawk, or anyone else, wanted to fucking be with you, then they'd be with you. What you girls don't fucking get is that none of these guys are gonna claim you as an ol' lady when every single one of their brothers has fucked you. Titan, get rid of the fucking trash," Alex says as a man I haven't met yet walks through the crowd and straight up to the woman I now know as Kori.

"You can't do this shit!" she screams out, looking at Hawk as if he's gonna save her.

Hawk steps away from her and heads straight for me where I lean up against the island. He stands behind me and places a hand on either side of my body and pressing his front against my back. Everyone in the kitchen stops and looks at us. Including Kori who only starts screeching even more. She's bitching about him choosing me when I'm nothing compared to her and how they can't get rid of her because the guys will miss having her around. Most of them start laughing their asses off when she starts spewing that shit. Titan finally gets her out of here and we listen to her screaming and screeching the entire time he's leaving with her.

"You okay, Sparky?" Hawk asks me, his breath brushing against my skin and moving a few smaller stands of my hair making a chill run through me.

"I'm okay. I just wanted to do something nice for everyone here. And now I don't have what I need to make the desserts. I'm so sorry guys," I tell everyone as I look around at the mess and want to cry at all of my hard work wasted.

"You did do something very nice for everyone in this club, Kendell," Reaper says, stepping up and standing across the island from me with Alex at his side. "Your dinner smells amazin'. You cleaned up a mess you didn't make, stayed with Alex the night Zoey went into labor when you didn't have to, and were goin' above what anyone here expected of you. So, Alex is gonna ream the girls a new ass. Again. They'll clean up the mess and you can finish makin' dinner. The Prospects will go to the store and buy all the ingredients you need so the next time you can bake whatever you want. For tonight, they'll grab a ton of desserts for us to enjoy. Tell them your favorite and I'll make sure they get it for you."

"Thank you," I say, lowering my eyes as Hawk remains at my back for some reason.

Everyone leaves the kitchen except for Hawk. He finally pulls away from me and makes his way toward a table. After righting the chairs, he takes a seat in one and watches as I start to clean up the mess Kori made. I know they said the girls would clean it up, but if I didn't run my mouth to the girl, none of this might have happened. So, I'm not gonna let them clean it up on their own. By the time they all file into the kitchen and apologize for not doing their work over the last few days, I'm pulling out the stuffed shells and garlic bread with Hawk's help. He won't let me lift anything heavy and I can admit the pans of shells do have some weight to them. Once everything is ready to go, he calls the club in for dinner after making me a plate and sitting me down at one of the tables that have been cleaned once again. I thank him and get to eating. Today has been a long day and I'm ready to head to Hawk's house and go to bed.