Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

Kendell

IT'S BEEN A week since we laid Kelsey to rest. Every single day, I want to remain in bed and forget the world around us exists. However, I can't do that. I need to get out of bed and live my life because I know that's what my baby sister would want. She'd want me to live my life to the fullest and ensure her son always does the same thing. So, that's what I'm going to do. Each morning, I get up, take my shower, and get Gideon ready for the day. He's still not back to himself, but he's starting to open up more and is talking once again. Hawk and Cash are spending as much time with him as they can. I honestly don't know where we'd be if it weren't for those two men. When Hawk isn't around, Cash is. When Hawk isn't doing something for the club, Cash is still with us. It's as if they've both named themselves our protectors and they're doing everything in their power to ensure we get out of bed each day and take a few baby steps forward.

Honestly, the entire club has been there for us. They make sure we've got plenty of food to eat, all the drinks we can handle, that we go outside and enjoy the fresh air and sunshine, and that Gideon gets through each counseling session the best he can. Everyone is rallying around us and it goes to show me how much of a family these men and women truly are. It's not just about what someone else can do for them, but what they can do to help one another through the most difficult times in their lives. I've honestly never witnessed, or been a part of, anything like this before in my life. I'm so glad I made the call that day and got my sister away from Martin so she could live a few weeks knowing she had the power to overcome the demons he filled her with. Now, she can find the peace that escaped her in life and I will have to find my own sense of peace as I get through each day while also making sure my nephew finds his own sense of peace in the aftermath of this tragedy.

Today is going to be another hard day though. Zoey and Savage are going to keep Gideon with them at the clubhouse for a while so I can go see Kelsey's lawyer. He'll go through her will with me and I'll sign off on anything that needs my signature. I honestly have no clue what I'm going to hear today. All I know is that my sister did draw up a will shortly after she had Gideon. She told me it was in with the other important papers she'd hidden away from Martin. I've never had the urge to go in search of it because it meant that she wasn't here with me. Now, I don't have a choice in the matter. I'll have to hear what decisions she made regarding her son's future and make sure every stipulation is followed in her honor. Hawk and Cash are going with me because Hawk knows I won't get through this on my own.

"I'm ready to go now," I say, walking out of the bathroom to find Hawk and Cash sitting in our room at the clubhouse with Gideon as he watches his favorite cartoon.

"Okay. Savage and Zoey are waitin' in the common room for G. Savage is gonna take him out to the garage to look at the bike he's workin' on. I'm sure Gideon will love that. Then Zoey will make sure he has lunch and put him down for a nap with the twins," Hawk informs me as he grabs the remote to turn the TV off and grab my hand before we all head out of the room and toward the common room.

Cash and Gideon are talking about something behind us and I don't have the first clue what they're talking about. For the first time since Kelsey was taken from us, he's excited about something and my heart soars hearing his little voice so happy and the small laugh he lets escape when Cash says something to him. When we get to the bottom of the stairs, Gideon takes off at a run toward where Zoey and Savage are sitting. Savage stands and catches him in his arms, tossing him in the air before catching him. Gideon's laughter echoes off the walls and I smile at them.

"We'll take good care of him," Zoey promises me as we pause by their table. "I'm here if you need me."

"Thank you. It's gonna be a long day for sure," I respond, not knowing what else to say.

"I know."

The three of us head outside and get in Hawk's truck. Instead of Cash sitting in the backseat where he'll have no room to stretch his long legs out, Hawk pushes up the middle console and pats the seat directly next to him. Sliding in, Cash climbs in behind me and we set off for the town I never thought I'd step foot in again. We're going back home where all of this started and now it's going to end. It's kind of poetic and ironic in a way if you ask me.

When we were younger, Kelsey always talked about leaving our hometown behind. She wanted to explore the world and experience as many things as possible before settling down and having kids. She never got to live out her dreams in that regard because she met Martin and he swept her off her feet. Then, he tied her to our town and never let her leave. Yes, I got her away from it, but not where she truly got to live her life and experience everything she could. Kelsey's time in Clinton City was spent healing herself and working on becoming so much stronger than she already was for herself and her son. Now, that's where she'll live out the afterlife and I'm glad that we didn't bury her next to our mom in a place she loathed.

"Sparky, where's your head at?" Hawk asks me, his voice breaking through my thoughts as he rests his hand on my thigh and holds me while driving.

"Just thinking about how it's kind of poetic to think we're headin' back to the town where this all started and how Kelsey wanted to leave it behind and explore the world. She never got the chance to do that. Martin truly took every single one of her dreams away from her in the harshest way possible," I answer him honestly as I look straight ahead.

"She'll get to explore the world as much as she wants now. But, I have a feelin' Kelsey's version of what the world was changed the second she learned she was pregnant with Gideon. That little boy was her entire world and he's always been yours. She got three tremendous years surrounded by those she loved and experiencing every single one of her son's firsts. His first steps, laugh, smile, the first time he slept through the night, and so many other things. So, maybe in a way, she did get to experience the world," Hawk says, making tears fill my eyes as I turn to look at him with a small smile.

"I never thought of it that way. Maybe you"re right."

Hawk drives straight to the lawyer's office and parks in front of the large building. There's a ton of people walking up and down the street as they hustle from one location to the next, lost in their own world and not thinking about anything but what they're about to do. After shutting off the engine of his truck, he gets out and walks around to the passenger side. Cash gets out and steps out of his way so he can help me down before placing a hand on my back and giving me the nudge and comfort I need right now. He's not going to let me avoid this appointment because he knows it's gonna be hard for me. Instead, he'll help me face it head on and be there to pick up the pieces as they fall apart once again.

"Can I help you?" a younger woman asks as she keeps her attention on Cash and Hawk, completely ignoring me.

"Yes. I have an appointment with Mrs. Devlin. She's expecting me," I answer as she doesn't offer me a response or do anything to let my sister's lawyer know I'm here."

I wait a few minutes as she flirts with the two men surrounding me until I snap.

"If you're done eye fucking the men with me, can you please let Mrs. Devlin know I'm here for our appointment?" I bark out, my voice echoing in the lobby of the lawyer's office.

"Excuse me?" she returns, finally bringing her full attention on me.

"I've been here for almost five minutes in which you've done nothing but stare at the two men with me. First of all, it's disrespectful because you have no clue if either one of them are taken. Secondly, you're in a lawyer's office and the first person every single client sees. I'd expect you to be a little more professional than what you're currently being. Yes, they're sexy men wearing leather because they're bikers. It's every woman's fantasy. Maybe eye fuck other men who you know are single on your own personal time instead of being on the clock at your job. Now, please let Mrs. Devlin know I'm here before I just head back to her office and make sure she knows why she wasn't alerted to my arrival," I state, my voice hard and cold as I let every single feeling that"s been overwhelming me become numb and void.

"You have no business talking to me like that," the woman says as Hawk steps up and wraps his arms around my stomach and Cash steps even closer to us.

Cash doesn't touch me at all, but he makes it very clear that he doesn't appreciate what's just taken place with this woman. And that's saying something because I did notice his interest in her when we walked into the lobby. I guess it really is her loss and she has no clue.

"My girl can talk to you however she pleases," Hawk says, his voice a low growl as we start attracting an audience. "Do your job and let Mrs. Devlin know Kendell's here to see her. Then, we'll still make sure to tell the lawyer what you've done so you get some sort of punishment. Nothin' you'll enjoy I'm sure because it's not sexual. If either one of us wanted you, we'd let you know. Since we didn't, I suggest you do your job and don't look at us again."

"I've done nothing wrong," the receptionist says, sitting up straighter in her chair and forcing her chest out even further to entice the men with me. She just doesn't give up and I'm ready to reach over the counter and punch her as she still doesn't announce my arrival to the lawyer.

"Actually, you are in the wrong, Stella. You can pack up your belongings and remove yourself from the building. You've got five minutes. I'll be letting security know so they can ensure you remove yourself. If you don't, they'll be sure to remove you without your things. Kendell, I'm Mrs. Devlin. If you'd follow me please," the lawyer my sister hired says as she turns toward us and waits for us to get to her side before leading us to her office.

I can hear the receptionist bitching and moaning behind us as Hawk steps to my side and laces our fingers together. We walk down the long, ornate hallway until we get to a corner office. Mrs. Devlin's office has double doors that are thick and wooden with a golden name plate next to them. Her office has thick black carpeting down on the floor and the walls of her office are painted a light beige. There's a couch against one wall and her walls are covered in pictures of all kinds. Including those showcasing her family. She takes a seat behind her large desk and motions for us to sit in the chairs across from her. Cash remains standing behind us as if he's our guard and I want to laugh out loud at the thought of Hawk needing a guard of his own.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Kendell. I met with your sister a few times as we worked through her will. She was such a brave young woman and loved you and her son so much. The two of you were all she talked about when we would meet. I know all about her situation and all I can say is that I hope he gets what's coming to him," Mrs. Devlin begins as she grabs a folder from the large stack off to the side of her desk and opens it before pulling out the papers and setting them down in front of her.

"Thank you. She fought until she had nothing left in her. We'll keep her memory alive for her son. Um, did she stipulate what she wanted done with him?" I ask, nerves filling me because that's the scariest part of this whole thing; I truly don't know where she wants Gideon to go or who he'll be with moving forward.

"She did. That was the very first thing she wanted to put in the will. Kendell, you are now Gideon's sole guardian. She doesn't want his father to have any contact with him at all. There's a restraining order that we got in case her death did take place. It's in effect as of now. The restraining order protects not just Gideon, but you as well. Martin is not to come within five hundred feet of either one of you. He can't show up at Gideon's school, the house you inhabit, or be in the same store, restaurant, or anything else. His family is not to have any visitation and if they try to take you to court, I have all the evidence to prove to a judge why they should not be allowed in Gideon's life. They won't win against me no matter how much money they have or how many judges they try to pay off to get their way.

"I've gotten the custody paperwork here and it's already been signed off by a judge so it's all legal and ready for you to take home with you. Kelsey had an inheritance the same as you with the same stipulations. However, we did find a clause in the paperwork that in the event of Kelsey's death, any of her children were to get a monthly allowance of ten thousand dollars to go toward whatever they wanted. That will go into effect immediately and I've got the money locked in my safe as we speak. Moving forward, the money will be deposited in an account with you as his representative payee. You can open that account at any bank of your choosing. I've got the paperwork you'll need to start the account and be listed as the payee for him until he reaches the age of twenty-one.

"The house cannot be sold. Kelsey wanted it to be there for Gideon when he gets older. Once he reaches twenty-five, he can decide what to do with the house. It's his decision to make though and no one can interfere. I've got a ton of papers for you to sign and even more to go through," Mrs. Devlin says as she continues to rattle off all the stipulations of my sister's will while I sit there in shock.

Kelsey truly did look out for her son and is going to take care of him from beyond the grave. I have no clue what the hell he'd ever need ten thousand dollars a month for, but I'll make sure it's all spent on him no matter what he wants to do in life as he gets older and starts developing his independence and trying different things like sports and all of that. For now, I know exactly what I want to do with his first monthly allowance. He needs all new things so we can burn what little we had at Hawk's house. I won't let him have a single reminder of what we lost from this day forward. I mean, other than pictures. We're going to plaster my sister's picture all over the house so she's always part of our lives.

We remain in the lawyer's office for almost two hours. She goes over everything and answers any questions we have. Hawk asks a lot of them. Like what we have to do to ensure Gideon remains ours and if we can adopt him or not. Mrs. Devlin's answer was that she would suggest waiting until I'm married or years have gone by with him in my custody before I attempt to adopt him. Only because if we start an adoption case, it will open the door for Martin or any of his family members to come and stop it from happening. They won't be able to take my guardianship away, but an adoption is a different story. So, I know we won't even think about doing that until several years pass and my nephew has a say in if he even wants me to adopt him. I don't see myself getting married anytime soon.

Don't take that to mean I haven't thought about what life would be like with Hawk. I have more often than I'll ever admit to. However, we're not ready to get married. At least I don't think we are. And I don't want to stand up in front of the club or whoever else to marry him. I don't want to be the center of attention for hours on end to have my ‘special' day. That's never been who I am and I'm not about to change that now. So, maybe down the road Hawk and I will talk about getting married, but I don't believe we're ready for that step. Maybe he feels differently, I don't even know.

When we're finally done getting everything taken care of with Mrs. Devlin, we leave her office with the cash from her safe in hand. Hawk and Cash take me to the local mall where I go crazy and buy Gideon an entire new wardrobe, new toys, a new bed we have nowhere to set up, and everything he could want. Cash and Hawk even talk me into getting him one of those motorized trucks for little kids. They promise me he'll only be allowed to ride it when they're with him and it's the only reason I gave in. But, we're gonna hold that back until his birthday which is in a few weeks. The day will be hard because it's the first of many that Kelsey will miss. It won't ever be the same again and that's something we'll have to work on each year when it happens.

By the time we make it back to the clubhouse, I'm exhausted and more than ready to go to bed. Hawk stopped at a fast food restaurant on the way back to the clubhouse and we all got something to eat so I don't have to stop and do that when we get back. I can go up and shower the day off before sliding into bed and curling up with Gideon. He can get all of his new stuff tomorrow after I've had a chance to clean it all. Tonight, it can remain in the truck as far as I'm concerned. I don't even want to think about it at all. Hawk and Cash have other ideas though as they bring everything in and unload it in our room so I don't have to get it tomorrow. Hawk disappears for a while once Gideon and I are in bed and that's okay. I don't have the energy to talk to him about everything we learned today.