Chapter Fourteen

Tanner

I've spent the entire day thinking about Zara. My mind has been full of memories… of how she looked sprawled naked on her bed this morning, of the taste of her, the feeling of her skin against mine, and the look in her eyes when she said she loved me. Which could be why I haven't stopped smiling all day, and why everyone who's come in here has remarked on my good humor.

"Shouldn't you be leaving?" Katie comes over, a couple of romance novels in her hand, her eyes fixed on her watch. She knows about my visit to Sabrina. She even knows why I'm going. I told her first thing this morning, when I was trying to put a call through to my ex-wife… and failing dismally. She didn't seem at all surprised that I wanted to tell Sabrina about Zara, and although she didn't say so in as many words, I got the feeling she thought it was a good idea. Naturally, I didn't tell her I'd spent the night at Zara's place, but I think she might have guessed. She had a certain sparkle in her eyes, and it's still there now, as she taps her foot impatiently. "You know, if you're five minutes late, Sabrina will find some way to hold it against you."

"I'm sure she will." I grab my keys from behind the cash desk. "Are you gonna be okay by yourself?"

"Of course I am. It's been quiet today." She waves the books at me. "Which is why I'm reorganizing the romance section."

"You mean that's not just because you enjoy looking at all the bare-chested men on the covers?"

"That's just a bonus. Now shoo."

I do as I'm told, making my way out back, and climbing into my car. I start the engine and drive out on to Maple Street, turning on to Main Street at the end. There's not much traffic, so I know it won't take long to get to Sabrina's place. I just hope she's in a good mood. She didn't carp about seeing me, so I can but dream…

The only advantage is that, as I explained to Zara, Dean won't be there. He'll be collecting Nash from school, and while I'd normally object to that, on this occasion, I think it's for the best. If Dean was in the house when I was trying to speak with Sabrina about something so personal, I don't think I'd feel very comfortable. Not that I expect to feel comfortable at any time during this conversation, but I think it'll be better if we can keep it between the two of us.

I have to decide how much I want to tell Sabrina… how much she's entitled to know. I'm not about to mention that Zara and I have slept together, or that I'm thinking of proposing. Because I am. Not even Zara knows about that yet, though, so there's no way I'm gonna tell Sabrina. Even so, I guess I have to find some way of getting across how serious I am about Zara, so Sabrina understands why this matters so much.

I park outside her house and walk up the footpath, knocking on the door, surprised when Sabrina answers almost immediately. She usually delights in making me wait, but today she must have been watching for me. There was a time when that thought would have filled me with joy, but those days are long gone, and now it makes me feel uneasy, although I manage a smile as I step over the threshold.

"I thought we'd sit in the sunroom," she says, turning away and leaving me to close the door.

I follow her, noting her tight business suit. It's dark gray and clings to every contour of her body, although she won't have worn it for my benefit. She never dressed like this when we were together, unless she was going to see a client… or a lover. Or both.

We leave the hall, entering a very modern kitchen, and I take a moment to glance around at the shiny countertop and white cabinets. I've never been in here before, and I have to say, even if this isn't the biggest house in the world, it reeks of money.

"It's good to know where my alimony payments are going," I murmur, and she turns, glaring at me over her shoulder before she walks out into a sunroom at the back of the house.

Again, there's been no expense spared in here, a comfortable couch taking up space at one end, and a long table at the other. It's clear this is where Sabrina works, her laptop open in front of one of the chairs, and she closes it, indicating a seat at the end of the table, before sitting down herself.

I notice she doesn't offer me anything to drink. This isn't a social call – for either of us – and she leans forward, tilting her head, giving me a moment to observe how much makeup she's wearing. That's not unusual for her, but I'd forgotten how false it looked. Or maybe being with Zara has made me realize I prefer women who look more natural.

"What was so urgent that it couldn't wait until the weekend?" Sabrina asks, raising her eyebrows.

I decide I might as well come straight to the point. She's clearly in a hurry, and I've got no desire to stay here any longer than necessary. I lean back in my seat and let out a sigh. "I've met someone."

She frowns, and I half expect her to ask me to repeat myself, but then a smile forms on her bright red lips.

"How strange that you should tell me this just days after you found out Dean had moved in here."

"That has nothing to do with it."

"So you expect me to believe you've suddenly started seeing someone? Just like that?"

"Yes. Her name's Zara Howell, and I wanted to tell you about her before I tell Nash, so you're informed about what's going on."

Her smile fades, her eyes darkening as she sits forward, resting her hands flat on the table in front of her.

"You mean you're serious?"

"Yes."

"And you haven't told Nash yet?"

"No."

"Good. Don't."

It's my turn to sit forward. "Excuse me?"

"I don't want you to tell Nash," she says, her voice firm. "I'm sure it won't last between you and this woman, and I don't want him getting upset."

"Are you kidding? I can't even keep track of the number of boyfriends you've had since we split up. Nash lives with you most of the time. Are you telling me he's been ignorant of them all?"

"Some of them," she says, shifting in her seat and looking a little uneasy. For a second I wonder how many of them have lived under her roof without my knowledge, but that's history… and not the point.

"He's sure as hell not ignorant of Dean, is he?" I raise my voice and she squares her shoulders.

"That's different."

"Does that mean you're in love this time?" I ask, and she looks down at her hands. "I didn't think so," I say, filling the silence.

"Even so, I don't want…"

I get to my feet and lean over. "I don't care what you want. Do you honestly think you have the right to dictate what I do with my personal life when your latest boyfriend is living here? The guy is collecting our son from school every afternoon, and…"

"What makes you say that?" she says, standing herself.

I straighten up, looking down at her. "First-hand evidence."

She smirks. "Just because Dean's there today doesn't mean he's there every day. You asked for this meeting. Remember? Someone has to collect Nash while we're talking."

"So that wasn't him I saw in the schoolyard on Wednesday?"

"Wednesday? What were you doing there on a Wednesday?"

"I went to see Zara."

She frowns and steps up to me. "Are you saying you're dating one of the moms at our son's school?"

"No. I'm dating one of the teachers."

She gasps. "You're kidding."

"No, I'm not. There's no law against it. But there ought to be a law against what Dean did."

"What are you talking about?"

"When I was at the school, I watched Dean leave Nash to cross the street by himself."

"What of it? Nash is eight, not three."

"Maybe. But at the end of the school day, that area gets real busy. There are cars everywhere, and the people driving them aren't always paying attention. They're talking to their kids, or checking their phones."

"And that's my fault?"

"It is when you let your boyfriend loose without explaining how to take proper care of our son."

She huffs out a sigh, turning away from me. "Okay. But that still doesn't mean Dean's there every day, does it? You collected Nash on Tuesday and Friday, and saw Dean on Wednesday, but that still leaves Thursday unaccounted for. Or are you telling me you were hanging around the schoolyard again…that you can't keep away from this Tara woman?"

"Her name's Zara, and on Thursday, she had to help Nash across the street because Dean had abandoned him again."

She spins around, a fake smile plastered on her lips. "My… you have found yourself a goody-two-shoes, haven't you? I'll bet she's great fun in bed."

I open my mouth to tell her exactly how much fun Zara is, and that she's so much better than Sabrina ever was, but decide against it. It'll only sound like sour grapes, and anything that happens between Zara and me is private, and certainly not something I want to share with my ex.

Instead, I take a step back, sucking air into my lungs to calm down. "If you can't collect Nash yourself, you know you only have to ask, and I'll do it."

"Yeah… and I'll bet you'd like nothing better than an excuse to see Cara."

"It's Zara, and you damn well know it. I don't need an excuse to see her, either. But I'd rather collect Nash and drive him back here than have your irresponsible boyfriend doing the job for me."

She shrugs her shoulders. "Dean's got nothing else to do, and I thought you were busy running your little store."

I ignore her jibe about the bookstore. "Why doesn't Dean have anything else to do? Doesn't he have a job?"

"Not right now. He was working as a fitness trainer at a hotel in Portland, but they fired him."

This doesn't sound good. "Why?" I ask.

"That's got nothing to do with you."

"It has if he's living here with my son."

She rests her hip against the table, tilting her head. "Okay… if you must know, I met him when I went there for that long weekend with Anita. Do you remember?"

It wasn't that long ago. I'm hardly likely to forget.

"Yeah. You asked me to have Nash for an extra couple of nights. What of it? I'm not interested in what you did when you met, but in why he was fired."

"I'm getting to that," she says. "Dean and I got talking while I was working out."

"You? You were working out?"

"Yes," she says, glaring at me. "He was very helpful, showing me how the equipment worked, and…"

"Don't tell me, one thing led to another, and he ended up in your bed."

"Something like that. The problem was, someone from their management team caught him leaving my room in the early hours of the morning, and they fired him."

I step back, leaning against the wall beside the door. "That's all well and good, but it doesn't explain why he's living here."

"He came back with me."

"Wait a second. Are you saying you moved him in straight away?"

"He had nowhere else to go, and I felt kinda responsible." She tilts her head and glares at me, daring me to argue, which I don't. Even so, she seems to be spoiling for a fight, and after a couple of seconds, she rounds on me. "What's your problem, Tanner?" she snaps. "I can do what I like with my life. We're not married anymore… remember?"

"Yeah. I remember."

"Then stop interfering."

"I'm not," I yell, and she jumps. "Like I said, I couldn't care less what you do, just so long as it doesn't affect Nash. What I can't believe is that you've moved your boyfriend in here when you knew nothing about him. I don't understand how you can do that, and then kick up a fuss over me telling him about Zara."

"Why do you need to?" she says. "I don't tell Nash what I do with Dean."

"Thank fuck for that. Although you're missing the point. I've got no intention of telling Nash what I do with Zara. I just wanna tell him we're together, and what she means to me. It's about love, not sex."

"Y—You love her?" she says, her face paling, despite the makeup.

"Of course I fucking love her, and no matter what you say, I'm gonna tell Nash about her at the weekend."

"No, Tanner." She reaches out for me, but I side-step her, backing through the doorway into the kitchen to put some space between us.

"Yes. I've done the decent thing by coming to tell you, but you can't stop me informing our son that I've met the woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with."

"You said that about me once."

"Yeah, I did. I was wrong about that."

"And you think you're right this time?"

"I know I am."

"That just goes to show what you know."

I wave my hands in the air. "I can't talk to you when you're like this, Sabrina. Accept it. I'm telling Nash and there's not a damn thing you can do about it."

Without another word, I turn and stride to the front of the house, pulling open the door and making it to my car before she's even reached the threshold.

"Don't be too sure about that," she yells as I slam my car door and start the engine, my tires screeching as I pull away.

I don't think that could have gone any worse, and I drive along the street, pulling over so I can calm down.

I'm too wound up to even think straight, let alone drive, and I pull out my phone, going straight to my message app. My last text was from Zara and simply says ‘Love you, too' followed by four kisses. She'd also told me I could collect on her kisses later, and right now, there's nothing I need more.

— Have you finished work yet? xxx

I press send, hoping I won't have to wait too long for her reply, and smile when she comes back to me within moments.

— Yes. How did it go? xxx

— Not great. I know I said to come to my place later, but can I see you now? xxx

— Of course. I'll be home in about ten minutes. xxx

— It'll take me that long to drive back to Hart's Creek. I'm still in Willmont Vale. xxx

— In that case, come straight over. xxx

— Thanks, babe. I love you. xxxx

— I love you more. xxxxx

She has no idea how much I needed that, and I smile, going to my contacts list and connecting a call to Katie.

She takes a few rings to answer, and when she does, she sounds a little out of breath.

"Sorry. Did I interrupt something?"

"No. I was just helping a customer choose a recipe book, and I'd left my phone by the counter."

"Oh, I see." I glance out the window at a woman pushing a stroller, like she doesn't have a care in the world, and I wonder what that must feel like. "I have a favor to ask, Katie?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah. My meeting with Sabrina didn't go very well, and I've just arranged to go over to Zara's place to talk it through with her. Can you…?"

"I'll look after the store and close up at the usual time," she says, interrupting me.

"Thanks. I owe you."

"You don't. I'm just sorry things didn't go very well. Not surprised… just sorry."

I know how she feels, and we end our call. I wait for the woman with the stroller to cross the street, then set off for Zara's place.

"Are you okay?" She pulls me into her arms and inside her house, closing the door.

"No." I hold her close, breathing her in, and she lets me, without a word, even though she must be full of questions. I know I would be in her shoes. Eventually, I lean back and look down at her upturned face. "Can we sit?"

"Sure."

She leads me into the living room, sitting on the couch and waiting until I've joined her before she twists, turning to face me.

"It was awful, Zara."

She nods, leaning closer. "In what way?"

"In every way. She told me not to tell Nash about us."

"Why? Did she have a reason?"

"Not a logical one. She seemed to think it would upset him… like her moving her so-called boyfriend into her house wouldn't."

"What do you mean ‘so-called boyfriend'? I thought they were together."

"They are. But when she first moved him in, it was a whole different story."

"Do you want to tell me?" I love that she's giving me the choice to keep it from her, but I've got no intention of holding anything back.

"Would that be okay?"

"Of course."

I pull her onto my lap, straddling me, and I kiss her, taking my time, until eventually she leans back, staring down at me, waiting… "Earlier in the summer," I say, resting my hands on her ass, "Sabrina went to stay at a hotel in Portland with Anita Knox. There was a gym there, and although Sabrina's never shown much interest in working out before, she clearly decided to break the habit of a lifetime."

"Was there a reason for that?"

"I imagine Dean had something to do with it. He was the fitness instructor, and I'm guessing she took a shine to him."

"I see."

"He must have felt the same, because he ended up in her bed, and although I'm sure that kind of thing happens all the time, he had the misfortune to get caught sneaking out of her room."

"Caught by whom?" she asks.

"Someone on the management team, evidently."

"I take it they didn't approve."

"No. They fired him."

"And he looked Sabrina up?"

"No," I say. "She brought him home with her."

Zara's eyes widen. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"She moved him into her home on the basis of one night together?"

"I think so. It sounded that way."

We both sigh, resting our foreheads together. "It's really getting to you, isn't it?" she says, after a few moments.

"Only from the perspective that Nash is living under the same roof as her and a comparative stranger."

"He's here every weekend, though, so you can keep a close eye on him, to make sure he's okay."

"Yes. We can."

She sits back, looking at me. "But I thought you said Sabrina didn't want you to tell Nash about me."

"She doesn't, but…"

She shakes her head, and I stop talking. "We'll survive if we have to spend our weekends apart. Nash is more important, and I don't want to do anything that's gonna cause problems between you and Sabrina."

"Whatever I did would be a problem for her. I've done the right thing by telling her my plans, and she's just gonna have to live with it. I'm gonna tell Nash about us at the weekend, whether she likes it or not. Apart from anything else, I don't like keeping secrets from him."

"Even so, you don't have to tell him."

"Yes, I do. Don't you see? I have to. How can I keep you from him when I… when I love you so damn m—much?" My voice cracks, surprising both of us, and Zara captures my face between her hands, kissing me deeply.

Our tongues collide and within seconds, something changes. It's like a spark ignites, and I reach between us, unfastening the top button on her blouse, then growl in frustration, and yank it open, the rest of the buttons pinging around the room. She pulls at my t-shirt, breaking the kiss to raise it over my head, and then latches her lips to mine again, while I undo her bra, tweaking her hardening nipples between my thumbs and forefingers. She groans, grinding her hips into mine, and reaches for my belt, pulling it off, then unfastens my button and zipper, shimmying backwards slightly to release my cock into her hands, her fingers surrounding me. I break the kiss, tipping my head back as she strokes my dick, and then I go to work on her pants, undoing them and waiting for her to kneel up so I can push them down over her hips, along with her panties.

I'm about to lift her onto my cock, when she slides downward, kneeling between my legs, her hands still wrapped around the base of my dick as she looks up at me, then licks the length of my shaft, from base to tip.

"Fuck…" I whisper, then gasp as she leans over and takes me in her mouth.

I know she's never done this before. She told me she'd never done anything and seemed surprised last night when I suggested she could taste me, but I can only assume the books she's read were fairly descriptive when it came to oral sex, because she knows what she's doing, and swirls her tongue around the head of my cock, before swallowing me down until I hit the back of her throat. I gather her hair behind her head and she moans, taking me even deeper.

"Keep your head still, babe. I wanna fuck your mouth." She looks up, her eyes meeting mine with a sexy sparkle, and I pull back, then raise my hips, taking her mouth, real deep. She's good at this, but I feel there's something missing. It can't all be about me…

"Finger your pussy," I say, and she hesitates for a second, but then lowers her right hand. I can't see what she's doing, but I can sense the movement, and see the rapture in her eyes. "Are you wet?" She nods her head. "Dripping wet and aching for my cock?" She nods again, moaning slightly as I take her mouth just a little deeper. I'm hitting the back of her throat with every thrust, but she doesn't gag. "You're so fucking hot, babe." She looks up at me and I sense the urgency in her movements. "Come for me, Zara…" I murmur and she lets out a squeal, incapable of speech as I fuck her mouth, her orgasm claiming her, while I hang on, trying not to come down her throat, watching her climax spectacularly, her body calming as she releases my cock.

"That was so good," she breathes, able to speak at last.

"I know," I say, leaning over and caressing her cheek with my fingertips. "After seeing that, you've got me more turned on than I can ever remember. Watching you take my cock in your mouth was… was something else."

"You want more?" she says, with a grin.

"I wanna move this to the bedroom, if that's what you're asking."

She nods her head with beguiling enthusiasm, and takes my offered hand as I stand and pull her to her feet, both of us kicking off the remainder of our clothes, although as she turns away, I pull her back.

"I thought we were going to the bedroom?" she says, looking up at me.

"We are."

I lift her into my arms, hooking her legs over my bent arms, and she yelps in surprise, grabbing my shoulders.

"You don't have to carry me."

"I'm not going to. I'm gonna fuck you."

She gasps, and I reach around beneath her, palming my dick and impaling her in one swift movement.

"Oh, yes…" she moans, and I kick my jeans aside, lifting her up and down a few times before I step forward toward her bedroom. The door's closed and I'm just reaching for the handle when her breathing changes and she grinds into me.

"Are you coming again? Already?"

She nods, clutching at my shoulders, her body spiraling out of control. I turn and slam her up against the wall, using it for support so I can hammer into her. I need this more than ever, and as she detonates around me, I pour out my love for her, knowing I can't lose her. Ever.