20. Jared

20

JARED

J ared was already up when the sun rose the next day.

He had paced the floors of his room all night, trying to figure out what he had done wrong. He was finally sure about a woman, sure about a commitment, sure about a child, sure about everything.

And after all the time he had spent showing her he could be trusted, she had looked at him like he was a stranger again, and dismissed him without a word of explanation.

It was just one afternoon, he tried to tell himself. Everyone has a bad day sometimes. Tomorrow, everything will be back to normal.

But he had a terrible feeling in his gut that things had changed forever. Cora Davies was a woman in complete control of herself. If she had shown him her anger, then she meant it.

He only wished he knew why …

Did she know somehow that I had my grandmother's engagement ring in my pocket?

But that was impossible. The only person that knew was his dad, and it wasn't like his dad was going to tell anyone. Something had happened since the weekend that changed her mind about him. And he wondered if she would ever give him a chance to change it back a second time.

He had grown since meeting her—slowly, in small ways, but to his core. He liked being dependable for Cora, he liked reading with Sylvester, and he liked doing simple, homely, indoor things with both of them.

And he truly believed that he'd seen the fierce-on-the-outside and scared-on-the-inside young woman he'd come to care for let her hair down a little and start having more fun. Being around each other was good for both of them.

"Jared," his mother called to him from the other side of the door. "Can you run a quick errand for me?"

"Sure, Ma," he said, opening up for her.

"Morning, darling," she said.

He could feel her eyeing his rumpled clothing and the bruised-looking circles that were surely under his eyes.

"Is that for someone?" he asked, pointing to the tin in her hands before she could ask why it looked like he'd been up all night.

"It's for Kellan and Daisy," she said. "If you're not feeling well, I'm sure Derek can run it over."

"No, no," Jared said quickly. "I'm just a little tired. But I need to do something in town anyway. "

She frowned at him, but handed the tin over anyway.

"I'll go right away," he told her.

"Maybe shower first?" she suggested, wrinkling her nose.

He couldn't help laughing at that, and it made him feel a little better.

"Sure, Ma," he told her. "I'll do that."

"Is everything okay?" she asked with uncharacteristic gentleness.

"Yeah," he said, scratching the back of his neck. "I think I messed things up with Cora, but I don't know how."

"Have you tried asking her?" his mother asked.

He opened his mouth and closed it again.

"I suggest you do," she said. "Very politely."

"Thanks, Ma," he said. "Great advice."

She smiled and nodded, before heading back downstairs, presumably to spread her wisdom and cookies far and wide.

He glanced at his watch. Cora would be up by now, and there was no time like the present. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and pulled up their texts, thinking for a moment about exactly what he wanted to say.

If I did something to hurt you, I'm very sorry. Can we talk about it?

He hit send before he could change his mind.

A moment later, he could see that she had read it. He waited anxiously to see what she would say.

But after five full minutes of staring at his screen without even seeing the little dots pop up to show she was typing, he put the phone down and got into the shower.

As the hot water pounded, he began to second-guess his message, thinking of all the things he could have tried to tell her—like how much he cared about her and how important she and Sylvester were to him.

But instinct told him it was better to wait for her reply before pouring his heart out. And that wasn't the kind of thing you said in a text anyway. He had said he was sorry without even knowing what he had done. She was a good person. She would respond and he'd get a chance to tell her everything else.

But even after he got out of the shower and dressed the phone still showed no new messages.

He headed out with the tin of cookies, hoping not to run into any family on the way out. He wasn't really in the mood to field any questions right now.

By some miracle, he made it outside without incident. The frigid air felt good to his heated skin and the view of the snowy fields with the expanse of steely sky above settled his heart. Some things never changed. They had been here before he was born, and would be here long after his time had come.

He jogged down the porch steps to his truck and hopped in, letting it run a minute or so before pulling out. Snow flurries were drifting down again, reminding him that Christmas was coming up quickly.

Now that he was an adult, he mainly looked forward to being with family on Christmas. He loved seeing how all his nieces and nephews reacted to the presents he gave them and then taking them outside to play so they would be nice and hungry for the big lunch his parents always prepared.

But this year, he had been hoping to invite Cora, and to have Sylvester's voice join the happy chorus of kids playing and enjoying the day.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and fix it , he told himself, shaking his head, as if that might shake the sorrowful thoughts free. You still have a couple of days until Christmas.

Before he knew it, the countryside was melting into the woods and the community college campus. Then the little village came into sight.

Jared had always thought Trinity Falls was as perfect as the town in the train set his father had built for him and his brothers. But at Christmastime it was even more so. He had no idea how they kept the candy cane decorations that hung from the lampposts looking brand new when they had been hung every year for as long as he could remember.

With a little snow leftover from last week, twinkling holiday lights reflected everywhere. As he drove past the tiny downtown he couldn't help admiring the displays in each window. All the shop owners took such pride in making their displays unique.

And even at this time of day, plenty of people were out on their morning walks. Jonah and Martha Kahn waved to him as he passed. The older couple seemed almost ageless. He swore they had been a retired couple when he was a little kid. Their daily adventures around town must be keeping them fit.

He headed down Columbia and drove until he reached the colonial with the little Doctor's Office sign out front.

Kellan had inherited the house and the business from Dr. Wilkinson, and now he took care of everyone in Trinity Falls and the surrounding area who didn't want to go up to the clinic on Route One.

As Jared was grabbing the tin of cookies, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Praying inwardly for something encouraging, he pulled it out and unlocked the screen.

Cora

I appreciate everything you've done for us, but I need a little space.

Jared slammed his hand down on the steering wheel in fury at himself. What had he done that was so awful she didn't even want to talk about it?

His fingers itched to text back to her begging for an explanation. How was he supposed to learn from this if she wouldn't even tell him what was wrong?

His mind played back the events at the Hometown Holiday celebration for the thousandth time since yesterday and still he couldn't find the break. He'd been incredibly respectful, hadn't tried to kiss her or even held her hand, though he'd badly wanted to.

He had wrapped an arm around her on the firetruck, but she was clearly feeling motion sick and needed something to anchor her. She had leaned into him, and hadn't pulled away, even when it was clear her friend from the school was noticing them together like that.

He obviously wasn't going to figure this out on his own. And if he cared about her, then he knew he should give her the time she needed.

With a heavy heart, he picked up the phone again.

I want you to have what you need. When you're ready to talk to me let me know. I'll be ready to listen.

It hurt to write those words, but he knew it was the right thing.

He slid the phone back into his pocket and grabbed the cookies, feeling grateful to his mother for giving him something positive and not too difficult to do. Hopefully, she had a few other tasks she could put him on today and the time would pass somehow.

He headed on the little path to the back of the house where a glassy addition formed Kellan's office.

This time of day, Benny would be at school and Daisy would be in the office with baby Hope, ready to answer phones. And Kellan would be preparing for the day's patients.

When he reached the door, Daisy spotted him and gave him a big friendly wave with the arm that wasn't holding the baby. He headed inside, admiring the pretty potted evergreens with twinkling lights that flanked the walls of the office.

Kellan was leaned over the counter, making funny faces for little Hope, who looked like she was laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

"Hey guys," Jared said. "Special delivery."

Daisy stood up and came around the corner to hug him with Hope in her arms .

He was always amazed at how tiny Daisy was. When he first met her, she'd been pregnant with Hope, but still seemed like she might blow away in a strong wind.

He hugged her back, gently, and turned to his brother.

"More cookies?" Kellan asked.

Kellan was kind of a health nut, which Jared supposed made sense given that he was a doctor and spent so much time trying to keep his patients healthy. But Daisy's eyes lit up and she snatched the tin right out of Jared's outstretched hand.

"Benny and I will make these disappear, honey, don't you worry," she said, pulling it close like it was a treasure.

Kellan chuckled and shook his head, and Jared smiled too. Kellan teased Daisy about her sweet tooth once in a while, but it was a fond sort of teasing, a thin veil over the naked adoration that was always in his eyes when he looked at his wife.

Jared might have found it pathetic if Daisy didn't look at him in the exact same way, like she couldn't believe he was real. The two of them had really been lucky to find each other. And it was clear they both knew it.

There was a light tap at the glass doors and they turned to see a lady with a young girl, both of them bundled up.

"Come on in," Daisy said brightly, heading for the door.

"Thank you so much," the lady said nervously. "I know you're not open yet and we probably need an appointment, but her throat's been keeping her up all night and she has such a fever. "

"That's exactly what we're here for," Kellan said. "And you know you can call us day or night, Maureen. No need to wait like you did. Come on back, young lady. Let's help you feel better."

He swept them both back to the room behind reception where he saw patients as Jared and Daisy watched after him.

" Da ," Hope said emphatically.

"Daddy is going to help the little girl," Daisy told her daughter firmly. "He'll be back soon, okay?"

" Ma, " Hope crooned, grabbing a hunk of Daisy's hair.

Daisy smiled and kissed her little forehead.

"So," she said, looking up, her eyes dancing, "I hear you're courting the new schoolteacher. She always seems so serious, but I noticed she was laughing when you helped her down from the firetruck."

He couldn't help reflecting Daisy's smile back at her. It was nice to hear that he wasn't the only one that thought he might be doing Cora some good. But the thought only broke his heart again, now that she had called things off before they even started.

It must have shown on his face.

"Oh no," Daisy said. "Things aren't going well?"

"I did something wrong," he heard himself admit. "I don't even know what. And now she says she wants space."

"Oh dear," Daisy said. "That's kind of promising though, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" he asked her, wondering if he hadn't explained well enough.

"If things were casual for her, then she would just call it off, right?" Daisy mused. "She would say, You're a great guy, Jared, but I don't think it's going to work out. Let's stay friends."

"Oh," Jared said, blinking back his surprise.

"But if she actually said she wants space it must mean you were getting awfully close," Daisy told him eagerly.

"She did say she needs space," he said, thinking it over.

"So give her some," Daisy said. "Sometimes things don't work out on the first try. I'm living proof of that."

He glanced down at his sister-in-law and she winked at him.

And even though he was feeling as low as he ever had, he couldn't help chuckling.

"He's lucky to have you," he told her quietly.

"He was a grump before I came along, huh?" she teased, glancing at the back office where they could hear Kellan talking quietly with the lady and her daughter. "He just needed someone to loosen him up a little bit. Cora needs the same thing. She'll come around."

"How do you know?" he couldn't help asking.

"Because no woman alive can resist a Webb boy forever," she said, waggling her eyebrows and then laughing so hard that baby Hope laughed too.

Jared bent to kiss her cheek and said his goodbyes.

And even though he was no more certain than before that Cora would let him into her heart again, he left feeling determined to be ready for her if she did.