61. Reese

I lean up against the weathered picnic table, watching a compact car bounce down the lake’s uneven lane. We used to come here all the time as kids. And then as teenagers. Not a lot of choices in a small town, but the lake is pretty. I’ll give it that much.

Jonah pulls up next to my car. He climbs out, long body unfolding in front of me. Dark jeans, plain tee. He’s wearing a worn, leather bomber jacket that probably won’t do shit to keep the chilly November air at bay.

At least he’s got his shirt on.

Shoving his hands deep in his pocket, he stops in front of me. “You always did love your walks. Neither rain, nor snow...”

I give him a wry smile and push off the picnic table. “Shall we?”

It’s a short loop around the lake and despite the bite of cold in the air, the trees have held onto their pretty leaves.

“Sorry about the short notice. We fly out in the morning.”

I glance at him. “Where to?”

“Atlanta. That’s where our record company is headquartered.”

“When’s the tour start?”

His lips curve into a tentative smile. “You heard about that?”

“I saw Leah at a Halloween party. She caught me up to date.”

I didn’t mean for the second part of that statement to sound like an indictment, but the sting of him airing our dirty laundry in front of all our friends is still pretty fresh.

I take a breath, trying to lighten my tone. “Are you excited about the tour?”

“Very. And a little terrified, to be honest.”

His shoulder brushes mine as we round the corner of the lake. “It’s mostly in the US, but we have a few stops in Europe. London. Paris.”

I try to picture what his life is going to look like. The blur of cities. Looking at the starry sky from airplane windows. “Sounds like a dream.”

A weak pulse of affection throbs in my heart, a reminder that we were friends, once. “I’m proud of you.”

It occurs to me that it wasn’t until after we broke up that either of us started to really go after our dreams. It’s almost like we were holding each other back.

“Yeah. It’s everything I ever wanted. And I should be over the moon. But I’m not.”

He tugs at my sleeve, pulling me to a stop. “Everything seems so empty without you.”

A hollow feeling opens in the pit of my stomach. I force myself to meet his gaze and the passion there makes me take a small step back. It’s overwhelming. And uncomfortable. Because I don’t feel the same way. I glance across the lake at our cars. “Jonah…”

“Please, just let me finish.”

His voice is heavy. “I made a mistake. I should never have let you go.”

He takes my hand; his fingers are warm against my frozen skin. “I love you, Reese. Always have. None of this matters if you aren’t a part of it.”

“Jonah…”

There is no script for how to hand someone’s heart back after they’ve just laid it in front of you. “Are you really in love with me? Or is it just the idea of me?”

“I know what’s in my heart.”

I thought I loved him, too. But that was before I realized what love could feel like. How it can sweep you up and destroy you.

I always thought the next natural step after falling in love was to dance off into the sunset together.

I know better now.

Love and happily ever afters don’t always go hand in hand.

I take a steadying breath. “I waited for you.”

He winces.

I want to hold on to my pride, act like he didn’t blast my world apart. But I owe it to myself to be honest. “I thought the move to Clark was just going to be a temporary thing because, of course, my boyfriend would come back for me. Realize he’d made a mistake. That was six months ago, Jonah. Why did you wait so long?”

“It was too long. I know. I’m sorry. It took me a while to sort out my thoughts.”

“You got lonely.”

“Yes, I’m lonely. I miss you. I miss my best friend.”

He squeezes my hand. “We could make it work. We’re good together. Come with me.”

To Paris? London?

Despite the warning bells, the idea sends a thrill of excitement through me.

“I just took a new job in Boulder. I already put a down payment on a condo. It’s a cute little place right over a bookstore. I’m excited about it. About the job.”

“Keep the job. And the condo. We’d need a home base, anyway.”

His hands are warm. Familiar.

Those eyes, the ones that used to get me in so much trouble, implore me. Gray and hopeful. “Most of my shows are on the weekends. I’ll fly you out for them and you can work during the week. It’ll work. Trust me.”