8. Chapter 8

RAPHAEL

Those precious moments with Atlas have relieved some tension from last night. When Heather let slip that Atlas wasn’t eating, the true reality of my lover began to unfold. In my desire to fall in love with the beautiful human being in front of me, I somehow missed all the little clues that would have forced me to see the disparity between our social statuses. I poked Heather for more information but she wouldn’t tell me, just told me that I needed to speak with Atlas.

Maybe I’m reading into things but this could be the reason why he’s been pulling away. Money solves a lot of things but conversations do it better.

I meander past the security station, Lance catching my eye as he steps into the main area away from his guys. “Hey, that car last night?” I step closer to him so that he can continue. “Caught him sleeping in it and told me some bullshit about a tow. I let him sleep in the lounge which he was more than happy to do. Fell onto the floor a few times but at least he was warm.”

We’ve never slept beside each other but I can imagine how cute Atlas is. I wonder if he snores or if he’ll wrap himself around me like a koala. Neither of which Lance needs to know that I’m thinking about. “Thanks. I’ll have it taken care of this evening. He okay, though?” Lance’s nonanswer is answer enough as I make it upstairs, waving off Karla’s concerned words. How everyone seems to know about Atlas’ mental and physical status is beyond me.

Well, not everyone but how come I haven’t been able to see it until it was pointed out to me?

Rose-colored glasses are bullshit.

The day passes uneventfully, mostly in the quiet of my own office with the occasional call. Needing some fresh air, I find myself wandering the halls and checking in on the progress of several different groups. They offer me information willingly, proud of their advancements and creations that I know will only strengthen this company long-term. Unfortunately, my attention is snagged on a certain individual passed out in the lounge.

His thick lips are parted as light snores permeate the room, Atlas sprawled out on a few cushions and covered by a blanket that must be his own. I frown when I realize that it’s just past noon, a time when most people are eating. I debate on whether or not to approach him, unsure of what he wants from me, what he needs from me. He doesn’t want favoritism but my heart hurts when he hurts and seeing this?

A heavy sigh falls from my lips as I approach and crouch beside him before moving to caress one of his cheeks. He startles and then realizes it’s me, cuddling a little closer to my chest. “Little One, what’s going on?”

“Just tired,” he mumbles, “Needed a nap before my classes.”

I don’t believe that for a second—that he’s just tired. Atlas has been pushing himself really hard these last few weeks between school and work. I can’t imagine he’s found much sleep in between all that especially if he’s been sleeping in his car. “Is your shift over?” He nods. “Then come with me. I think I can find somewhere a little more private than the lounge.” I can see the fight building in his eyes as he sits up but he’s just too tired and I thank the heavens for small blessings.

Atlas allows me to tuck him into my side as we take the elevator up to my office, a quick nod to Karla letting her know to clear my schedule. Irresponsible? Sure. Necessary? Yes. I lead my lover to a room attached to my office that I rarely use. There’s a small space there that my father used to use when he owned the company, spending several nights here as he built the little empire that is mine today. I would have traded all of those nights for family dinners so I make sure to leave every night and sleep at home.

There’s no use in building bad habits.

However, today? This room is a godsend.

Atlas moans as he catches sight of the bed, flinging himself onto the mattress and burying himself into the pillows. “It’s been a fucking long time since I had one of these.” I’m not sure I was supposed to hear those words but just the thought worries me. What is he talking about? Pillows? Blankets? A bed? I approach and slip off Atlas’ shoes to make him more comfortable, watching as he relaxes and those little snores start up again.

I shouldn’t but I can’t help myself as I slip out of my jacket and roll up my sleeves a few times before sliding onto the mattress beside him. I need to hold him, to feel him up against me. Atlas mumbles some gibberish before curling into my chest, the snores vibrating through me. God, he’s so adorable. “One hour, Raphael. Class is at two.”

Nodding, I pull him tighter and kiss the motley bunch of curls on his forehead. This feels right, perfect and I hope that this isn’t the last time I get to hold him in my arms like this.

The starstruck look plastered on my face is the highlight of Karlas day. She would look like that too if she had someone like Atlas pressed against her for an entire hour. Running my fingers through his curls as my other hand wrapped around his waist wasn’t just relaxing for him. I’ve needed moments like those for months, a moment where it’s just us and we can drink the warmth from each other’s embrace.

Focusing on work becomes difficult as the anxiety of taking Atlas to the wharf tonight builds. I stuff a few more hours into my day so that by 8:30 pm, I’m nearly vibrating with anticipation. By the time I make it to the parking lot, I’m holding my breath, waiting for the inevitable text where Atlas cancels. I feel like a schoolboy right before his first prom all over again until I hear muttered curses and the sound of a shoe against rubber. I search the parking lot for the culprit, my heart dropping into my stomach when I see Atlas slapping the roof of his car and kicking the tire.

As I approach, I catch the tear-stained cheeks of my lover as he tells his car how stupid it is.

“Atlas?” He shrieks and whirls around, slapping at his cheeks to cover his sorrow. “Little One, what’s wrong?” I’m not sure whether to offer a hug or stay where I am so I just twist my hands awkwardly in front of me.

He sags against the metal, whining his next words. “Why do you always show up during my most embarrassing moments?”

“You seem to have a lot of them. What’s going on with the car?”

“It won’t start.”

“And that tow you mentioned to the guard last night?”

“I don’t have the money for that shit. I’m sorry. I just need a few more days and-” Atlas cuts himself off. “I really wanted to go to the wharf, okay? I’m not canceling but I just…”

I understand overstimulation just as well as anyone else and today has been a lot for him. On days like this, I know that I just want to be alone but I’m hoping that one day I’m the safe place he needs. For now, I’ll be the silent protector. “It’s alright, Atlas. Let me give you a lift.”

Utter shame floods his face as his cheeks turn a bright shade of red. Even in the darkness, I can see that my offer is the absolute last thing he wants. I just don’t know why. Atlas’ breathing picks up as he wars over the decision before opening the door and grabbing his bag to follow me. The moment he slips into the front seat, he snuggles up to the heaters.

How long had he been out there?

I wait for a few moments, watching as he avoids my eyes. Most people when they sit in my car for the first time, they explore, tinker, and play with all the buttons. Atlas touches none of them. His head is hung in shame and when I ask for an address, I barely catch it. I plug it into the GPS and then frown as the name pops up on my screen. A shelter?

“Atlas…”

“Just drive.”