Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Ivy

" H ow did this even happen?" Lennix asked as she stared out my back window, watching as Connor hauled a duffle bag stuffed so full it looked like it was about to split at the seams out of the bed of his truck, hooking the strap over his shoulder before heading for the carriage house-turned apartment at the back of my property.

"This was the compromise we came up with," I muttered around the rim of my teacup. I'd discovered recently that peppermint tea helped settle my stomach, so I made sure to always keep some on hand. "It was the carriage house or I kill him in his sleep. I went with the option that didn't come with jail time."

Lennix's laugh brought a smile to my face. I might grumble and put on a show that I wasn't okay with Connor moving into my carriage house, but the truth was, knowing he'd be close put me at ease. As excited as I was for this little chickpea, I was also scared. I made the mistake of googling pregnancy and had fallen down a rabbit hole of all the things that could possibly go wrong. The pregnancy had started to feel a little isolating after that, especially since I hadn't told my parents yet, but now that Connor was here I didn't feel so alone.

I drew the line at him living in the main house with me, however. That would have been like dumping a bag of candy on the floor in front of a group of kids and telling them they could look, but they couldn't touch or eat any.

It had only been two days since Connor and I had talked, and in that short amount of time it felt like a switch had been flipped inside of me. All of a sudden the exhaustion that had been plaguing me let up. My energy started to return, which I was excited for, but another change that had occurred recently that was more... problematic.

All of a sudden I couldn't stop thinking about sex.

It started the other night when I was curled up on the couch, watching a movie on Netflix. At one point the couple on the screen started to kiss, and as the scene got steamier, my body got hotter. In the past two days, I'd given my vibrator a workout like it hadn't seen in months. I felt like a teenage boy, for Christ's sake. A stiff wind would perk my nipples right up. It was ridiculous.

Connor and I had agreed we would co-parent this baby as friends once it finally arrived, and the last thing I wanted to do was put that in jeopardy because my stupid hormones made me want to latch onto him like a freaking koala.

It certainly didn't help matters that my new sort-of-roomie had a face and body that looked like they'd been chiseled out of granite. I blamed him. It was his fault he was so freaking gorgeous.

"Well, this is an improvement, right? I mean, at least you guys are getting along, and you aren't sad or rage-y anymore."

No, I was stupidly horny. But she didn't need to know that.

"Right. Exactly. If we can keep getting along for the sake of the baby, maybe this will all work out."

Lennix moved away from the window and came to sit across from me at the kitchen table. It was another Aunt Sylvia piece I'd kept because it was absolutely beautiful. She'd used broken stoneware and vases to create a colorful mosaic that was as much a work of art as it was a sturdy piece of furniture.

On that thought I realized I was going to be raising the next generation of the Young family in this very house that had seen so much love. It had started with Sylvia, then my mom, then me, and now my little chickpea. I was sure Sylvia was looking down on me, smiling and happy to know the house she had filled with love was going to get a new member soon enough.

My mom would be happy too. Just as soon as I found the guts to tell her. Micah was going to be a different story. He would be happy... eventually. And he would love this baby because he loved me. But I couldn't be certain that Connor wouldn't go missing one day and end up as a Dateline special or the focus of a true crime podcast.

He'd always had my back growing up, no matter the kind of scrapes I got myself in, and there was a tiny part of me that worried this might be the scrape he couldn't bring himself to look past.

"Have you scheduled an appointment with an obstetrician yet?"

I nodded and sipped more tea, the sweet, minty flavor warming me from the inside. "Yeah. I got in with one here in town. We go see her on Monday."

Lennix hiked her eyebrows high on her forehead. " We ?"

I gave her a flat look. "Yes, we . I told you, Connor said he wanted to be a part of this. I told him about the appointment and he insisted on being there."

She reached across the table and took my hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. "Are you excited?"

"I am." I blew out a sigh and admitted, "But I'm nervous too. I was really sick for a while. What if that hurt the baby somehow?"

She smiled reassuringly. "Everything's going to be perfect. You'll see. You and that little tadpole are doing just fine. And in a matter of months, you're going to have a little baby," she finished on a squeak of excitement. "A tiny little wild child bull rider. Honestly, Ivy, this baby might end up being the hottest baby to ever be born in this town."

I let out a bubble of laughter. "I don't think you can refer to a baby as hot."

She waved me off and blew out a raspberry. " Pfft , whatever. You know I'm right. You're freaking gorgeous, and Connor's hotter than the flames in hell. It's like, a scientific fact your baby is going to be beautiful."

I pointed a finger in her direction. "Or it could go the opposite way," I said in warning. "You know, like all those beautiful celebrities who have babies that look less like them and more like their third cousin twice removed who got kicked in the head by a mule and has the unfortunate hairline that goes all the way to their unibrow."

Lennix burst out laughing, and I quickly joined in. "Nah. That won't happen to you. That's karma because all those celebrities are secretly terrible people. You're a good person, so your baby won't be punished."

That might have been one of the most ridiculous conversations I'd had in my life, but the laughter was just what I needed, and by the time Lennix left later that evening, I felt a sense of peace that had been missing for a while.

It was amazing what good friends were capable of.

I fidgeted in the passenger seat of Connor's truck as he guided us through town toward the doctor's office. I caught him glance my way every couple minutes like he was trying to gage my mood as I stared out the windshield chewing on my thumbnail.

"You know this is all going to be good, right?" He finally spoke up after parking at the clinic and coming around my side of the truck to help me out. "I know you're nervous, but it's all going to work out."

I dropped my hand and wiped my sweaty palms on the thighs of my jeans. "I know," I said on a gust of air. "I know, you're right. But I don't think I'm going to be settled until I see it with my own eyes, you know?"

He smiled down at me. It wasn't his charming smile or the one he used on camera for interviews or in that one underwear campaign he did that I might have printed out and kept stashed in the drawer of my bedside table.

"I've got you." Three simple words, yet the surety in his voice when he said them as he reached up and caressed my arms in soothing, gentle strokes, worked wonders in grounding me. "You aren't alone, okay? I'm right here, and I'm going to make sure everything is okay."

I took my first full breath that day and returned his smile. "Thanks."

"Don't have to thank me for doin' my job, sweetheart. Now, you ready?" He held his hand out and waited for me to place my palm in his.

I gave him a single sharp nod once his fingers wrapped around mine securely and together.

"Hi. I'm Ivy Young, I'm here for my appointment with Dr. Shaundry."

The woman behind the front desk lifted her head, and her eyes went wide with recognition. "Oh, hi."

My smile shook a little as I looked back at Blythe. "Hi." I hadn't seen her since that time at Muffin Top a few months back, despite my attempts to call and connect. She was always incredibly polite, just stressed that she was busy with work and the kids. I understood. She was a single mom of three now, since her husband passed. I hoped she wasn't closing herself off from everything else.

She looked a lot better than she had when she'd first gotten back into town, but I could still see the haunting sadness in her eyes, and it broke my heart for her. "I didn't realize you were working here."

"Yeah. For about a month and a half now."

"And you like it?" As far as small talk went, it wasn't my finest attempt, but I'd already locked in, so I was determined to see it through.

"Oh, yeah. It's good. And Dr. Shaundry is great," she added quickly, as though it were an afterthought. "You're in good hands."

I swallowed. "Thanks. Um..." I looked around the seating area, thankful it was empty, aside from Connor and me. Leaning in, I lowered my voice so only she could hear me. "Um, no one else knows about..." I waved my hand in front of my midsection awkwardly. "If you wouldn't mind not mentioning you saw me here? I'm telling my parents tonight. I just... I wanted to make sure everything is okay first."

"Of course!" she insisted. "I wouldn't say anything. But, um..." She cast a look over my shoulder to where Connor was sitting in one of the chairs that was too small for his frame. "Congratulations." Her smile grew a bit warmer. "You're going to be a great mom, Ivy."

I returned her smile and reached over the desk to give her hand a squeeze. "Thanks." With that done, I turned and headed toward Connor, taking the empty seat beside him. He looked up from the magazine he was thumbing through with a furrowed brow. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. It's good." I cast my eyes at the magazine and back up to him. "Interesting reading?"

He shrugged and went back to reading, the picture of confidence holding a magazine on breastfeeding. "I'm reading whatever I can get my hands on. I want to make sure I'm prepared by the time chickpea gets here."

Two things hit me at once. The first was that I loved how he heard me refer to the baby as chickpea and had adopted the moniker as well. The second was the knowledge that he'd been studying up on all things baby so he could be prepared. It was a blow so hard to that protective wall around my heart it damaged the structural integrity. I wasn't sure how many more hits like that I could withstand.

"You're studying?"

"I wouldn't call it studying. It's not like I'm preparing for a test. I think every new father should know as much as humanly possible in order to help the mom in any way she might need."

Bam ! Hit number two.

And, son of a bitch, but every word out of his mouth only made him sexier. I wasn't sure my vibrator was strong enough to survive the workout it was going to get later tonight.

Fortunately, I was saved from my naughty gutter thoughts when a nurse opened the door to the back and popped her head out, calling my name.

Blythe had been right. Dr. Shaundry was great. I'd told her my concerns—thanks a lot, Google and WebMd —and she hadn't looked at me like I was crazy once. She patiently explained away every one of my fears, putting me at ease so I could finally focus on my excitement. I hadn't expected it but Connor had some questions too, and they were surprisingly astute, and things I wouldn't have thought to ask. Thanks to him, I now knew I wasn't allowed to go near a charcuterie board or sushi for the foreseeable future. I wasn't sure if I appreciated him looking out for me or pissed off that, because of him, I had to avoid two of my favorite things for the next several months. At the moment I was leaning toward pissed.

"What do you say, guys? You ready to see your baby?" Dr. Shaundry asked, interrupting my mourning for my beloved spicy tuna roll.

"We get to see it now?" Connor asked, his voice full of awe. "It's not too soon?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Not too soon. We won't be able to tell the gender yet, but I can take measurements, and if your little one cooperates, we should be able to see the heartbeat."

She instructed me to place my feet in the stirrups on the bed and squirted jelly on a long, weird-looking wand before inserting it. Definitely not the most comfortable situation I'd ever been in, but the discomfort only lasted as long as it took for her to point at a little white speck on the monitor beside her.

"Ah, there it is."

"Where?" Connor and I asked at the same time.

She drew a circle with her finger. "Right here. That's your baby."

"Wow." At the wonder in Connor's voice, I turned my head to look up at him. His gaze was glued to the screen, his lips partially separated, and I could have sworn his eyes grew damp. "That's our baby," he whispered softly.

Bam ! Hit number three.

"And that flutter right there is the heartbeat."

My head whipped back around to the screen to see where she was pointing. "You can see the heartbeat?"

The doctor smiled. "Yep. And you can hear it too if you want."

"Please," I answered quickly.

She pushed a few buttons, and a second later the room filled with a sound similar to rushing water. It was a soft whom, whom, whom that was, hands down, the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.

"Oh my God," I breathed as I looked back up at Connor with a watery laugh. "That's our baby's heartbeat."

"Sure is, and it sounds strong. Everything with your little one is absolutely perfect."

Connor closed his eyes and pulled in a breath before taking my hand in his and leaning in to press his forehead against mine. "Absolutely perfect," he repeated in a hushed voice full of relief.

Bam . Hit number four.