Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Connor

A nxiety made it impossible for me to sit still. The waiting room of the emergency room was only half full and surprisingly silent, making the click of my boot heel on the cold, hard floor that much louder as my knee jiggled uncontrollably.

I let out a huff as I recalled Ivy going down for the second time, falling backward onto the bed after her laughing fit, and being kicked out of the room by the doctor. I'd tried refusing at first, but he said I could either leave on my own and sit in the waiting room or be escorted out by security. The old man might have looked like Santa's less jolly brother, but when he hit me with a cold, steely look that said he wasn't fucking around, he reminded me more of Clint Eastwood holding a rifle on the kids who dared to step on his lawn.

I let Lennix and Rae guide me from the curtained space without issue, knowing it was the only way to stay close to Ivy... and my child she was carrying.

Christ! She was pregnant with my child. And I didn't have the first fucking clue how to feel about it.

Leaning forward, I braced my elbows on my knees and clasped my hands together in front of my mouth as I tried to wrap my head around everything. One moment I was pissed off that she hadn't been taking care of herself and worried that it was something worse than a stomach virus, and the next I was finding out I was going to be a father.

A father !

I wasn't against having kids or anything. In fact, there had been a point in my life where I believed I'd have at least one. But I thought that ship had sailed. After Amber and I split and I told myself I was never going down that road again, I just figured that meant kids weren't in the cards.

My knee picked up the pace as Rae and Lennix's eyes bored into the side of my face, and one quick glance told me they were both aware I was losing my shit and felt bad for me.

"Jesus," I grunted, pushing to my feet and scrubbing my clammy palms against my jeans as I began to pace. "How long is this doctor gonna take?"

"Connor, I'm sure she's fine," Rae offered in a soothing voice.

A shot her a quick look before rubbing a hand over my face. "Then why'd he kick us out when she went down, huh?"

"Uh... because you started freaking out, and he couldn't deal with your shit and check on her at the same time," Lennix said like the answer was obvious. And, damn it, she might have been right. I hadn't exactly been in the best frame of mind.

"Do you think...?" A sudden ache in my chest had me rubbing at my sternum. "Do you think there's something wrong with the baby?"

Lennix stood up and walked over to me, placing a comforting hand on my forearm. "I'm sure everything is perfectly fine. You heard what he said. She's super dehydrated. I'm sure they'll take care of her and she'll be feeling better in no time."

I blew a slow stream of air past my pursed lips and nodded. "Yeah. Okay." I nodded, grabbing onto what she said and treating it as fact. "You're right. She'll be fine. Everything will be fine."

The doors to the emergency bays swung open and the doctor who'd been treating Ivy came out. I immediately shot in his direction. "Is she okay? Has she woken up yet? Are you sure it's not more than dehydration?"

He held up his hands to halt my frantic line of questioning. "Ms. Young is perfectly fine," he answered with certainty. "I have an IV hooked up to her as we speak, giving her fluids her body has needed. Dehydration on her level can lead to dizzy spells, and it's not uncommon for the person to faint since their body is diverting all the necessary nutrition to the baby. That, coupled with stress, set off a panic attack. Her body needed a little break. She and the baby are fine. In fact, as soon as the IV bag is empty, I feel confident releasing her."

The man's eyes darted between the three of us gathered around him. "I assume there is someone who can look after her at home?"

"Yes." I blurted the word out before he'd finished his sentence, making it clear that I would be the one looking after Ivy, no one else. "I will. I'll take care of her."

"Great. I'll get started on the discharge paperwork. I'll also include a prescription for anti-nausea medication that is safe for both mother and baby, as well as things that can be done to alleviate it naturally. It's best to stick with bland foods for a few days until we're certain she can keep it down. A brAT diet would be best. And I've also instructed her to make an appointment with an obstetrician at her earliest convenience. In the meantime, she needs plenty of rest."

I was nodding so much by the time he finished rattling off his instructions, I felt like a bobble head. I didn't have the first clue what the hell a brAT diet was, but I was sure I could figure it out. "brAT. Obstetrician. Got it."

I didn't have it. Not at all. I felt seconds away from a panic attack myself, but I knew I needed to suck it the hell up and take care of this for her. She'd been dealing with everything alone for the past several weeks, now it was time for me to step up and carry the weight so she could get better.

I could do this. I had to do this.

"She's resting right now, so you can come on back and sit with her while she finishes with her IV fluids."

I took a step, intent on following after the doctor, when I felt a tug on my arm. I stopped and looked back over my shoulder at Rae and Lennix.

"We're going to let you handle this," Rae informed me with a resolute nod. "I think there's a lot the two of you need to talk about, and it's probably best if you guys don't have an audience."

I gave her a small chin dip. "Appreciate that. You guys have a ride home?"

One corner of Lennix's mouth hooked up. "Zach's on his way to pick us up. Don't worry. We'll keep him from storming in here and kicking your ass."

"You aren't?—"

Rae elbowed Lennix in the ribs and shook her head. "Don't worry. We aren't going to tell anyone. This isn't our news to share. It needs to come from you guys."

I gave them one last nod then spun around and booked it through the double doors, needing to be close to Ivy.

Her color had already improved after one bag of IV fluids. When I'd returned to her room earlier, I could tell she was still feeling as shellshocked as I was, so neither of us spoke as we waited for the bag to drain.

That had been an hour ago. She'd been discharged from the hospital and I'd driven her back home in complete silence. I understood she had a lot to process. Hell, we both did. But the silence was starting to drive me out of my goddamn mind. I needed to know what she was thinking. How she was feeling. If she knew what she wanted to do, because I felt like I couldn't move, couldn't take that first step, until I knew what direction she wanted to go in.

I made the drive from the hospital to her house with a whole new awareness. I didn't think I'd been this cautious of a driver since I was sixteen and wanted to prove to my folks that I was a responsible driver so they'd get me my own car. I now knew the meaning of the phrase, precious cargo, because I was petrified of doing something that could possibly hurt Ivy or the baby she was carrying. There was no way in hell I would put either of them at risk, so I was slow with the gas pedal and eased to a roll before braking so I didn't jerk her around and cause the seatbelt to cut into her middle. Was that even a thing ?

I didn't know, but I wasn't taking any risks. I didn't miss the way her eyes kept cutting over to the speedometer, but I refused to go any faster than I was going, which happened to be about five miles below the speed limit.

When we finally pulled up outside her house, I felt like I was coming out of my skin.

"Thanks for the ride," she muttered as she grabbed the door handle.

"No problem," I replied as I shifted into park and push the ignition button, killing the engine.

Her brows rose high as she stared at me. "What are you doing?"

I felt my forehead pinch with confusion as I looked across the cab at her. "I'm coming around so I can help you down."

The frustrated huff she let out would have probably been cute if I didn't feel like we'd both been put through the wringer. "That's really not necessary, Connor. I'm not an invalid. I'm just p-pregnant." She stuttered out the last word.

"I'm aware, butterfly. But you've also passed out twice today and had to have a hospital administer fluids because you weren't able to do it yourself."

Her eyelids narrowed into a glare, and I couldn't help but wonder if there was something wrong with me, because seeing that fire return to her eyes for the first time today sent a wave of relief through me and turned me on at the same damn time. "I'm more than capable of taking care of myself. You don't need to stick around. I'm fine on my own."

I hit the locking button before she could throw the door open, keeping her from escaping. "Ivy, I'm not leavin'. You heard what the doctor told you. You shouldn't be alone right now. I'm stayin' to make sure you're all right."

The fight drained out of her as quickly as it appeared. One moment she was sitting across from me, glaring daggers, and the next she was heaving out a sigh so heavy it made her shoulders droop and massaging her temples. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen her look so tired.

"Connor, I really can't do this right now, okay? I'm exhausted and... stressed, and I only want to lie down and go to sleep for the next two days. I appreciate you wanting to look after me, but I need some space right now, okay? I need some time to think."

I swallowed to try and ease the desert-like conditions in my throat. I wanted to push, to ask her what she needed to think about. Did she need to think about us? About me? About whether or not she wanted to keep the baby? I wanted to crack her head open and find out what was going on inside. But this hill I had to climb to get back to her was already steep enough, and the events of today only made it more treacherous.

"Okay," I finally relented on a whisper, every single molecule in my body rebelling at the thought of leaving her alone. "I get it. But can you just promise me one thing?"

"What's that?"

"Once you're feeling better, promise you'll talk to me? You aren't alone in this, Ivy." I wanted so badly to reach across the center console and touch her; skim my knuckles over her cheek or brush her hair back. Anything to feel connected. "We're in this together, okay? Just... promise you won't cut me out. Not with this."

She sniffled, her blue eyes growing glassy as she gave me a single nod. Then she climbed out of my truck.

I gave myself a few moments to collect my thoughts before throwing the driver side door open and climbing out just to climb back into the back seat. I was a pro when it came to sleeping in my truck. Lord knows I'd done it enough while traveling from rodeo to rodeo—I even kept a pillow and blanket back there to make things more comfortable. I stretched out as best I could and shifted around to make myself more comfortable.

I promised her I would give her some space, but I also said I'd look after her, and if I had to do that by sleeping in my truck outside her house, so be it. I was taking care of that woman if it was the last thing I did.