Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

ADIRA

T he university wasn’t too bad to navigate earlier today, and everyone was too preoccupied doing their own thing to notice me. That’s how I prefer it. Aisling kept my bags in the vehicle to put in my room when she dropped me off, so I wouldn’t have to haul it everywhere.

I bought my books with the scholarship spend card I picked up from the enrollment office, bought some school supplies for cheap from the bookstore, and checked out the student fair they had.

I’m unfortunately too busy for all of the clubs they have, but they seem fun. Now, I’m getting off the bus to go to work. I need to get used to the longer days, because they’re about to become my norm.

The buses don’t typically run late, which is why I walk back to the shelter. I also need to get my steps in, and walking won’t kill me. The shelter isn’t that far from the bar, it’s who I may run into that’s an issue.

Aisling mentioned self defense classes, but they tend to happen when I’m working. If there’s one when I’m off work, since my schedule is going to change soon, then I’m definitely attending a class.

Walking up the steps to the bar, I walk inside to place my things in the back room.

“Hey, Adira,” Caleb says easily from his office as I pass by it.

Stopping, I pop my head in to talk for a second. I have to ask him about changing my hours anyway. I hope it’s not going to be a problem. His office is filled with paperwork, which amuses me. He’s always very meticulous, but his office is a mess.

“Hey,” I say. “Can I talk to you about adjusting my schedule? I found out that I got into college, and all of my classes are in the morning. Aisling said I shouldn’t work every night so I don’t burn out.”

“She’s right,” Caleb says. “I wish she’d take her own advice sometimes. What days do you want to work?”

“Can I do Monday, Tuesday, Friday, and then the weekend?” I ask. “That’ll give me five solid days of work, and I’ll be able to take a break Wednesday and Thursday.”

“That’s still a lot of hours,” he grumbles. “Let’s call this a test run. If you find yourself dragging ass, we’ll adjust. You’re making great money, make sure you get to live long enough to spend it.”

“I know,” I sigh. “Everything feels too good right now.”

“No doom and gloom, Adira. Trust the process,” he says. “I’m glad you’re starting to feel secure. This job will be here for you, and the regulars love you.”

Nodding, I pull back. “When do you want to start the new schedule?” I ask.

“Let’s start it tomorrow,” he says. “That’ll mean it’s your day off, since it’s Wednesday. Enjoy the day to yourself.”

I feel as if I missed something. Lips parting, a squeak comes out, and Caleb merely smirks. “Go get ready. They’ll be coming in soon, and thirsty as ever.”

“Thank you,” I whisper. I don’t know what I’ll do with an entire day off. The idea feels odd after keeping busy every moment.

Turning, I walk to the back room and pull off my coat, mittens, and ear muffs. There’s a locker for my purse and outerwear, which is where I put my things. I don’t typically use my alpha blocker gel outside of work, because I don’t like how it feels to cut a part of myself off.

It’s necessary for this job though, so I rub a small amount under my nose before walking back out into the main bar to set up with Orla.

Tuesdays are always busy for some reason. You’d think there would be more women at the bar, and while there are some alphas here, they’re typically here to shoot the shit and play pool.

I guess this isn’t somewhere people go to hook up then. That’s probably why I don’t have many issues with the patrons who come in, outside of a little flirting. Caleb also glowers at people until they move on. It explains why no one minds my resting bitch face given who the owner of the bar is.

The first hour flies by, and I forget that Duncan said he was coming in until he and Callum step into my vision.

“Oh!” I say, eyes wide. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself. How is your night going?” Duncan asks, leaning forward.

“It’s good,” I admit. “It’s busy, but I prefer it that way.”

“Can I get you boys something?” Caleb asks. I think he may have seen them before I did, because he was out talking to people at one of the pool tables earlier.

“Just talking with Adira,” Callum says with a smirk. “We’re old friends.”

“I think that’s a little bit of a stretch,” I remind them. The auction feels too close when they’re near, reminding me of everything I’ve lost. It’s not their fault.

“We just wanted to check on you,” Callum says quickly. “Duncan and I want to get to know you better. I know things are complicated with how we met, but it doesn’t feel right not to be friendly because of it.”

“That feels like a lot of convoluted hog wash,” Caleb growls.

“It’s code,” I mutter.

Someone comes around them for a drink, and I ignore the brothers and Caleb in favor of doing my job.

“Hey, what can I get you?” I ask, leaning forward to hear him. I still need to go shopping for better bras, and decide to do that with my new day off.

I may cry spending the money, but a wardrobe malfunction may be worse.

“Whiskey sour, please, lovely,” he says.

Nodding, I don’t think anything of his words, though I can feel the brothers seethe. People call me all kinds of things while I sling drinks, and it doesn’t bother me. I’m the new bartender. What else are they supposed to call me?

“Here you go,” I tell the man, taking the money he hands me to make change.

“Keep it,” he says with a smirk. Taking a sip, he sighs happily. “You make a decent whiskey sour. I’ll come back when I need a refill.”

Turning back to the Kelly brothers, I roll my eyes at the way they glare at the other alpha.

“Please stop peeing on me,” I tell them, ignoring the way Caleb chokes on his saliva. “You’re going to give my boss the wrong idea.”

“I don’t want to pee on you,” Duncan gasps, looking affronted. “That’s not my kink, thank you. I don’t know how you can work here when there are so many alpha scents. It’s tickling my nose as it is.”

“Blockers,” I tell him, shrugging. “I can’t smell anything. I only wear them at work, so I can concentrate.”

“Huh,” Callum says. “I forget those exist. What else are you doing besides bartending?”

“I start school next week,” I tell them. “I’m staying busy.”

“Are you overworking her?” Callum asks, glancing at Caleb.

“So protective,” my boss says. “Are you part of this pack she won’t tell me about?”

“Nah,” Callum says. “I’m not a big enough asshole for that. I need to know she’s safe, which means inserting myself into her life.”

“I’m right here!” I exclaim, shaking my head. “I don’t know if it really works if I know your evil plans.”

“A bit nefarious, but not evil,” Duncan chuckles.

They sit at the bar while I take other people’s orders, and keep me company. Caleb makes sure they aren’t making me uncomfortable before he goes about his night, which I appreciate. The Kelly brothers are doing more than enough omega sitting.

It’s almost comfortable, and I almost smile a few times. Would it really be terrible to be friends with them?

“Are you going to drink or are you holding up a corner of the bar all night?” I ask, taking a moment to clean the bar.

“I’ll take a beer,” Callum says with a shrug. “I do still plan to hold up the bar, though. It may crash without me here, and then whatever would we do?”

Grinning, I surprise myself with a small huff of laughter before blinking wildly. It’s as if emotions that I’ve been stopping up are now bubbling up, and tears are threatening to spill over.

“Woah,” Duncan says. “What the fuck just happened?”

“Nothing, it doesn’t make much sense if you’re not me,” I mutter, quickly brushing away tears.

“It’s not nothing,” Callum grunts. “You just smiled. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that. Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know!” I wail, turning to face the wall and fix my life. God, I’m going to get fired for crying into people’s drinks.

A solid body is next to me, tugging me into a hug before I can track that one of the brothers jumped over the bar.

“There’s nothing wrong with crying,” Duncan murmurs, holding me tightly. “We just want to make sure we didn’t fuck up. You’re working your ass off and need friends. Even if you don’t think you do.”

“I mean, I have Aisling and Wren,” I mumble against his chest.

“Yeah, but you need us too,” he says. “People tend not to fuck with us. While they have powerful packs, you need people who you don’t have to explain things to. You need to cry? Do it. The only reason I’ll ask questions is to make sure I’m not the fucking problem. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I mutter. “I’ve felt really numb since I left your house. Emotions outside of sadness aren’t really processing well. It makes me feel broken.”

“You’re not,” he says. “Hey, look at me.”

Sighing, I look up as he brushes away my tears. “You’re perfect. Remember that. The things that happened to you do not have to define you,” Duncan says. “Callum and I have been going crazy looking for you. Our instincts are driving us insane. We know you have a pack, but they’re assholes.”

“Yeah, they are,” I agree.

“I’m a big believer that men and women can be friends, I just haven’t ever done it,” he says.

“That makes zero sense,” I tell him, shaking my head.

“It doesn’t need to,” he says. “Callum and I work too much, and we need something else to do.”

“I’m not a project,” I remind him. “There are a lot of other things to do.”

“I’m doing a shit job of explaining this,” Duncan growls, looking over his shoulder. “Fuck, boss man is coming back over here. Adira, my brother and I feel drawn to you. We know you’re not a project, but we are very serious about being in your life. We know where you work, we’ll keep coming in until we get you to agree.”

“Are you going to make her cry too, numb knot?” Caleb asks, coming around the bar. “If you’re not ordering a drink, get out. People will think I’m a shitty boss.”

“You’re a great boss,” I say, taking a deep breath. “I had an avalanche of emotions. I guess that’s what happens when you’re emotionally stunted.”

“Eh, you’re not that either,” Duncan says, stepping back. There’s only so much room here, though, so he almost knocks over a crate of glasses. “Fuck. Be good to yourself, Adira. It’s nice to see you smile.”

“I missed that,” Caleb grunts, looking disappointed. “She started crying right after?”

“I’m right here,” I complain.

“Go wash your face, Adira. I’ll be here until you’re back,” Caleb says, shooing Duncan and I out from behind the bar.

I walk to the bathroom to wash my face, because I hate how sticky my skin feels after I’ve cried. Gazing in the mirror, I find that my eyes are only slightly red as I cup cool water in my palms to wash my face. It feels good, and I take a few practice breaths, making sure they don’t feel shaky.

I don’t want to cry again. Duncan and Callum took me by surprise. I like how easy it is to talk to them, and being friends with them wouldn’t be difficult. They’re gentle in the questions they ask, actually caring what I have to say.

Breathing deeply reminds me that I need to reapply my alpha pheromone blocking gel. I am already being bombarded with scents from beyond these walls. Patting my skin dry with a paper towel, I also dry my hands before throwing it out and walking back to where my things are so I can reapply my gel.

I always wash it off at the end of night once I’m back at the shelter, a way to leave the bar behind me. Stretching my neck to release the last of my pent up emotions, I walk back out into the fray.

There aren’t any more incidents as I take my place back behind the bar, and the guys hang out with me for a while before going to play pool.

“Who are they?” Orla asks, leaning toward me as we wash cups during a small break.

“New friends,” I tell her. “They came to say hello.”

“They also must be pretty powerful alphas for Caleb not to have lost his mind about one of them being behind his bar,” she says. “Be careful. Most alphas just want to fuck omegas like you. If that’s what you’re looking for, let your freak flag fly. You seem really standoffish though.”

“I have good reason to be,” I say, turning to find something else to do. Orla sees too much, and it makes me uncomfortable for some reason.

She could just be making conversation, but I’m not great at small talk either way.

Before I know it, it’s two in the morning, and Duncan and Callum are walking back up to me.

“Can we offer you a ride home?” Callum asks.

“I shouldn’t accept it,” I tell them as I finalize people’s tabs. “I appreciate it though.”

“Are you really going to walk home at this hour?” Duncan asks. “Fuck, you do this every night, don’t you?”

“I have a shadow, but yeah,” I tell him.

“You and I both know that’s not safe,” he says. “I called Aisling because breaking into where you’re staying would get me marked for death by her alphas. I also respect the fuck out of you, and would prefer to not completely force my sparkling personality on you.”

Callum snorts as I roll my eyes. “You have a very high opinion of yourself,” I tell him. “I appreciate that you understand that where I’m staying is an alpha free zone. I don’t want to break any rules by accepting a ride.”

“What if I drop you a block away?” Duncan asks hopefully. “Are you hungry?”

“Trying to feed me again?” I tease him before turning to an alpha to hand him his tab. “I hope you have a great night, Sir.”

“Sir my ass, lass. Albert works just fine,” the alpha says with a slight chuckle as he signs the paper and adds a tip. “Are these boys bothering you?”

The Kelly brothers are in their mid-thirties, and hardly boys, but the Irish are an interesting group.

“No, Albert, they’re not at all,” I tell him. “Thank you for checking on me.”

“Any time, lass,” he says, pushing the paper back to me and leaving.

“People seem to like that you’re working here,” Duncan observes. “You do your job and don’t pepper people with questions. The alphas here come to unwind after a long day or to continue to work, depending.”

Lalala. I don’t need to know. Caleb’s blatant disregard for rules clues me into the fact that he’s connected to the mafia. He hired Aisling at sixteen, for goodness sake. I don’t need to get pulled into mafia shit.

All I want to do is stay outside of it, get my life together.

“So, are you hungry?” Callum asks, pulling me back to his brother’s earlier question.

“Not really,” I say. “All I can smell is alcohol. I’ve been working on my appetite, but it’s been a slow process.”

“Understandable,” Callum says, pulling off several bills to hand me.

“I can already tell that’s too much,” I admonish him.

“You take tips from everyone else,” he whines. Good luck, buddy.

“Settle up your tabs,” Caleb yells from somewhere behind us. “We’re closing up, friends.”

“He’s going to kick us out,” Callum grunts. “Can we please drive you home? I want to hear all about this shadow of yours.”

“You heard me say that, huh?” I mutter, picking up the money he tried to hand me and taking the exact amount for the drinks they had. “I believe this is yours.”

“Adira, you’re going to drive me crazy,” he sighs, putting it away.

“Good, you’re all paid up. Get out of my bar. We have to close up,” Caleb says, walking up. “Stop taking up all of my employee’s time and energy.”

“I’m waiting outside for you,” Duncan says.

“Why?” Caleb asks, confused.

“I don’t want her walking home,” Duncan explains.

“Why aren’t you taking the bus?” Caleb asks before he pales. “Fuck, they don’t run right now. I didn’t think about that. Why didn’t Aisling tell me this when she worked for me?”

“We don’t want you to worry,” Orla chimes in. “We all walk home after work. It’s usually not a big deal.”

“I’m not a fan of what lives outside of the ‘usually’, Orla,” Caleb growls.

“I know,” Orla says with a shrug, watching as people begin to clear out. “I’m going to start wiping down tables, Adira.”

“Thanks,” I say, glancing at Caleb. I decide that I’m not going to mention that Morris is following me home every night to him, nor the dead alphas. “I thought that’s why you gave me the stun gun, Caleb.”

“No, but I feel like an idiot now. I got you something better. It’s more powerful,” he says, eyes glittering dangerously.

“You still have my favorite pocket knife?” Callum asks.

Huh, that’s who gave me the clothes.

“I do,” I tell him.

“That’s why I gave her the stun gun. Your pocket knife wouldn’t hurt anyone,” Caleb complains.

“There’s officially too much dick measuring happening!” I yell, hands up to call a timeout. “Duncan and Callum, I can walk home just fine, thank you. Caleb, I really am fine. I need to start closing.”

Their faces tell me exactly how much they dislike being told what to do, but they leave me alone.

Growly alphas and their good intentions. I can mostly take care of myself just fine.

I’m sitting across from one of Wren’s alphas at lunch, eyes wide wondering what he wants. Aisling told me that he wanted to meet with me before giving me the hormone suppressants.

“Adira Firestone,” Shaw says, leaning forward. “Aisling came to see me yesterday and told me you need a suppressant that’ll keep your heat away. Is that correct?”

“Yes, Sir,” I murmur, taking a nervous sip of water. There’s no way I’ll be able to eat anything, since my anxiety is twisting my insides. His caramel eyes seem to be assessing me, and I’m worried about what he’ll see.

“Want to tell me more about that?” he asks.

“Would you want to be dependent on someone who sold you at an auction?” I ask. I don’t usually speak so blatantly or at all about that night, but I need these suppressants.

I’m terrified of how terrible it’ll be if Laurell is somehow wrong. I haven’t felt even a twinge or the need to nest, but my heat hit me like a freight train before. I don’t trust it.

“No,” he says, blinking. “Aisling and Wren haven’t told me anything about your story and I want you to know that they won’t. I don’t even know who your pack is.”

“They’re not my pack,” I mutter. “What else do you want to know?”

If he asks directly, I’ll tell him, but I’m still trying to find emotional distance from what happened. The walk home last night helped a little to find my equilibrium, and then I meditated before bed.

I can absolutely go toe-to toe-with an alpha and annoy them today.

Aisling smirks as she watches us, content not to intervene.

“What do you want to tell me?” Shaw asks. “Hormone suppressants are easy to get addicted to, because of how used to skipping heats omegas get. Missing a dose will fuck the entire thing up, though what I’m giving you is one very strong dose, because from what I can see your body isn’t strong enough to withstand a heat.”

“I’m working on getting stronger, but food and I still aren’t friends,” I say.

“Are you not eating because you don’t feel like it or because of some sort of eating disorder?” he asks.

“That’s not a fair question,” Aisling says. “Try again.”

“Being mated to a lawyer is making you impossible to deal with,” Shaw grunts. “Okay, can you tell me why you don’t want to eat?”

“It varies,” I tell him. “I was kidnapped on Christmas Eve, and after some pretty shitty things, I was shot in the snow like a dog. The alphas performed surgery without anesthesia, and then kept me under sedation for three weeks. I ate intermittently, but not anywhere near what’s considered healthy. Now, I have to be careful of what I eat because my stomach gets easily upset. Other times, anxiety twists my stomach up into knots and I can’t eat anything.”

“Fuck me,” Shaw mutters. “No wonder Aisling tried to tell me I was being a dick. I definitely feel like one now.”

“I don’t think it’s very common to run into someone with my experience,” I tell him. I don’t want him to feel bad, since he’s offering to help me.

“Not your particular story,” Shaw says. “What happened after the three weeks?”

“They sold me,” I whisper. “It’s really complicated now. I don’t like to think about them.”

“Okay,” Shaw says, pulling out a pill bottle and setting it in front of me. “Do you really think they’re going to just let you go? I don’t know what their motivation was, but once a scent match becomes active, it’s really difficult to be a dick to them.”

“I’m only matched to one of them,” I tell him. “Damon says he didn’t know their plans. We’re bonded. It hurts too much to think about them, and I have a very permanent reminder that I’m bonded to Damon forever.”

“I’m starting to get the feeling that I know what pack this is,” he growls. I gaze at him dispassionately because it has no effect on me. “You’re not afraid of me, but you don’t much trust me, huh?”

“Why should I be afraid of you?” I ask him. “Growls and barks have no effect on me. I can’t be controlled.”

“That’s very rare,” Shaw says, interested as he shifts on his feet. “You shouldn’t be afraid of me. Aisling and Wren have already made it clear that I’m to behave myself, though I typically do. Your father got into some trouble with Rock Dresmond, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” I say. “Rock had his sons kill him. I don’t know the details, nor how my father ran afoul of someone like him. Rock has decided that I’ll make the best form of revenge on my father, despite the fact that he’s dead. He scares the hell out of me.”

“You’re bonded to Damon Dresmond, aren’t you?” he asks softly.

“Mmhmm,” I mutter. “Got it in one.”

“There’s your pill, Adira. It should be strong enough to give you some space from the twisted bitch that biology is,” he says as I open the container, shaking it out into my palm.

There’s no way this is a trap. I trust Aisling, and by extension, I need to trust Shaw. Popping the pill into my mouth, I swallow it down with a sip of water, making a face.

It tastes like dirt.

“They never taste great,” Aisling says, wrinkling her nose.

“I need to tell you something,” Shaw says, watching me closely. “Jed has been working on gathering support with the other families in Missouri, so that he can take over. I expect he’s going to be casting a wide net, and will be approaching the Minnesota mafia packs next.”

“I didn’t think he was serious when he told me that,” I rasp. “Jed said he wanted to make things safe for me, but it’ll never be safe as long as Rock’s alive. Dammit, I don’t want to cry.”

“No one will be offended or wash away from a few tears,” Shaw says sagely. “Jed and his brothers have been Rock’s faithful guard dogs for years. They’ve caused a trail of destruction in their wake so big, we pretend Missouri doesn’t exist. Rock has been getting bolder.”

“I don’t want to get involved in this,” I tell him, tears streaming down my face.

“Adira, you’re fucking mafia royalty, you know that, right?” Shaw growls. “Your father fucked up, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t a major player. No one has ever seen you.”

“Dad didn’t let me go out,” I explain. “So I never did. Jed thinks he may have been grooming me for something, because he had me on hormone suppressants to stunt my ability to go into heat.”

“I wish I’d know that,” he sighs, glancing at the pill. “Those other suppressants are long out of your system, so it shouldn’t be an issue.”

“The nurse didn’t see any issues in your blood tests from them,” Aisling murmurs.

“Do you have any idea why he had you on them?” Shaw asks. “Was there a certain pack he wanted you to meet?”

“No,” I deny. “Dad continuously told me that the outside world was dangerous and that I needed to stay where it was safe. It would have been lonely if I knew any different. Jed said if my father wanted to marry me off well, he would have been circling me through the packs for courtship.”

“That’s how it works for people who live in the dark ages,” Shaw grumbles. “I met your father a few times, and he always looked as if he was planning something. I could never figure out what.”

“I don’t know,” I say. “There are no records that survived Kane’s explosives when he blew up my house.”

“Crazy fuckers,” Shaw growls. “Biology gave Damon to you for a reason, and his brothers are a package deal.”

I refuse to think about Morris, because my body locks up when I do. So, I don’t mention him to Shaw.

“My point is, while I don’t know what their fucked up reasoning is, sometimes alphas fuck up,” Shaw says. “I don’t know if they deserve your forgiveness or if cutting off their knots is the better option. What I do know is that it sounds as if they’re holding their promise to keep you safe.”

“Killing Rock gives him a shit ton of power though, doesn’t it?” I ask, unsure of Jed’s motives.

“It does, but Rock brags that his sons are so well trained that they’ll never backstab him,” Shaw says. “I’m unsure they’ve ever wanted to take over until now.”

Jed protects his pack with an iron fist, and I got in the middle of that. I don’t really understand more than that, despite their best efforts to explain it to me. I was shutting down the night they dropped me off at the shelter.

They could have told me that grass was green, and I would have said it was blue instead.

“Who knows what their motivations are,” I mumble. “It feels like too little too late, Shaw.”

“Maybe it is,” he agrees. “The bond isn’t going to understand that, Adira.”

“I can feel his emotions, hear his thoughts, sometimes when I’m feeling things really strongly, I can cause him pain,” I whisper. It feels like a really terrible secret to tell. I know it’s not something that happens to everyone.

“Another reason you’re special,” Shaw says easily. “Jeremiah was hiding you away because he knew something, though he took his secrets with him. You and Damon are closely tied to each other. It’s wishful thinking that you’ll be able to avoid each other for long.”

“Maybe not forever,” I say. “I’m not as numb as I used to be. I smiled for the first time in almost a month, and it was the oddest sensation. It’s as if the blockage and numbness is slowly wearing away.”

“That’s the way trauma works,” Aisling says. “The numbness is a lie. It makes you think you have things handled until something happens to blow it all up.”

“When did this smile happen?” Shaw asks gently. Anyone else would think it’s insane that a smile is anything to mark as important, but Shaw just rolls with it.

“At the bar,” I tell them. “I had some visitors. Callum and Duncan Kelly.”

“They’re good men, but how do you know them?” Shaw asks, confused.

I’m telling my story in a very piecemeal fashion, but it doesn’t seem to bother the alpha.

“They bought me at the auction,” I explain. “Jed had a plan, and the Kelly brothers were in on it. They just didn’t realize how far Ophelia and Rock would take things.”

“I’m waiting for someone to kill that bitch,” Shaw growls.

“Everyone wants to kill her,” Aisling sighs.

Looking around, I notice we're the only ones in the restaurant, and I wonder if that’s done on purpose.

“The Kelly brothers insist that they feel responsible for me in a way, and want to be my friends,” I say. “They’re easy to talk to. At one point they said something that made me smile for real. I even laughed a little, and it threw me. It was really embarrassing how quickly I went from laughing to crying.”

“Your emotions are stretching their muscles,” Aisling says with a small smile. “It makes sense to me.”

“The Kelly brothers probably feel like shit if things went sideways at the auction,” Shaw says.

I feel anger at his words, because it went so much worse than just sideways. The scent of burned cookies fills the air, the first time in a while that my scent has betrayed an emotion. It’s as if my entire being became muted.

“Sideways maybe wasn’t the right word,” Shaw amends, swallowing hard.

We’ve been left alone for most of this conversation. A waitress brought us water and then completely disappeared.

“The Kelly brothers sound as if they’re good for you,” he tries again.

“I think they are too,” I say, nodding. “It’s another tether keeping me firmly grounded in reality at least. I feel as if I need as many of those as possible.”

“I will say that I think I’d miss you if you drifted off, Adira. I don’t like many people, but I want to help you however I can,” he says. “Fight to stay, even when it gets hard. Can you do that?”

Lips trembling, I nod. “I’ll do my best,” I promise.

“What’s your go-to thing to eat lately?” Shaw asks, recognizing I’m going to have a hard time eating.

“I bet we can talk Mr. Lars into making smashed banana toast,” Aisling says with a smug smile.

“He has me addicted to them,” I sigh. “I make variations of it with different fruit when I’m not hungry but know I need to eat. The one he made me was the best, though.”

“Guess we’re going to the cafe,” Shaw says, tossing some money on the table. At my glance at it, he shrugs. “They closed the restaurant so we could talk.”

Crazy fucking alphas.