Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

MORRIS

“ W e have to give her time,” I remind my alphas hoarsely, as we sit at the kitchen table at the rental we found. It’s a little after six in the morning, and none of us are able to sleep for longer than a few hours it seems.

There are three bedrooms in the large apartment, but it still feels like close quarters. We’re nomads in many ways because we move from place to place depending on the job. We don’t have permanent quarters, and make a terrible pack for an omega like Adira.

She’s had too much change as it is already.

“Time sucks,” Jed mutters, drinking his coffee. “We have no way to contact her, and it feels wrong after having her around so much.”

“Unconscious you mean?” Kane snarls. “I’m all about weird kinks, big brother, but she was completely at our mercy. She’s up and pissed and has every reason to be.”

“Adira still isn’t safe,” Damon grunts. “All she needs is one fucking flashback, guys. The little omega is strong as fuck, but everyone has a breaking point.”

“I know,” I sigh. “ Omega’s Haven has resources to help her. We can’t do shit for her. I’m not saying that we should abandon her, because there’s no way I can do that, not now.”

“The little rabbit needs a fucking tracker,” Kane mutters. “Do we know anything about who runs that place?”

“When I was doing a little digging last night, before I went to bed, I found out that the omegas from Pack Mohan and Hayes are the co-founders. They’re going to be doing a charity event in mid February. It’s far enough away that we can plan to attend. Should I see about getting tickets?” I ask.

We’re kind of personas non-grata because of the work that we do for Rock. There are so many hits out on him it’s ridiculous. I’m glad he’s going back to Missouri.

“Might as well,” Jed says, draining his cup. “How are we supposed to get her to understand that we were trying to help in a fucked up way?”

“You don’t,” Damon sighs. “There’s no way she’s going to understand the situation from your point of view. Hell, I don’t understand how this was your best decision. What we can do is kill Dad. I can really get behind that.”

“Think she’ll want to help?” Kane grunts, biting his lip. “I bet the little rabbit would look beautiful covered in blood. Think she’d let me bury my knot in her afterward?”

Jed smacks him over the head before I can, making me smirk. I’m surprised we can still find any kind of common ground. My skin feels raw from the scalding hot shower I took when we got here.

I know it’s a traumatic trigger, because the only thing other than that pain would be to bury my knife deep inside of me and —

“Morris!” Jed yells getting in my face. “Stop. Give me your weapons. No intrusive goddamn thought is going to take you from me. Is that understood?”

Oops.

I forgot about the bond for a second. This is going to take some getting used to.

“Welcome to the club,” Kane says with a smirk. “He’ll know everything now.”

Even Damon rolls his eyes as he stretches.

“Give him your weapons and then tell us what more you know about this place, what security is like, what ties it has to the mafia. It’ll go a long way toward helping me feel settled in her decision,” he growls.

“I don’t have to understand why she’s there, but I do need to respect it. I can feel that she’s not sad, and that’s an improvement over the last three weeks.”

He’s got a point. Pulling my weapons, I push them over to Jed as I get up to find my computer. I can do some basic research and discovery. It’s part of what I do for the guys when we go on hunts, or work for Rock.

Okay, little omega. Take your space, I’ll handle the guys.

ADIRA

I’m up around seven in the morning, unable to stay asleep. I feel wired, but unsure as to why. Grabbing my toiletries in their little mesh carrying bag, clothes, and a towel after making my bed, I open the door to find people are starting to get up.

Others are chatting with each other with their doors open. There’s a feeling of camaraderie that fills the shelter with life.

I’m aware that when I don’t smile, I appear aloof. Some may even call it a resting bitch face, but smiles don’t feel as if they should exist on my face. Maybe one day soon.

I didn’t smile much before unless I was reading something humorous. My life has always been kind of lonely outside of the daily routine my father set for me.

A few of the omegas stop to glance at me as I begin to walk to the bathroom, but don’t say anything.

“Really?” a girl mutters with a cute toddler on her hip. “Hey, you’re new right?”

“I am,” I say warmly. Just because I don’t smile, doesn’t mean I’m a bitch. “I got in in the middle of the night.”

“What?” a girl says, stepping forward. She has a no nonsense braid over her shoulder, pretty flowered overalls and a long-sleeved mesh bodysuit underneath it. She looks like spring, and I’m here for it. “I didn’t think they took people that late.”

“Emergencies don’t only happen in the daylight,” I say without thinking.

The girl blinks before nodding. “No, you know what, you’re right,” she mutters. “I’m River. I’m glad you’re here and not wherever you were before. This place is amazing.”

“Thank you,” I say appreciatively. “I’m Adira, and I’m really glad she opened the door.”

“You didn’t call?” the girl with the baby asks. He is staring at my hair, that’s probably a curly mess, while I shake my head.

“No phone,” I answer her. “I was completely prepared to sleep outside.”

Swallowing hard, she glances at her son and I wonder what her story is for a moment.

“My name is Meaghan and this is Benji,” she says. “I, for one, am very glad you didn’t sleep outside. It’s been too cold for that.”

People move out of my way so I can get to the bathroom, and I nod. “Thanks,” I say softly.

Slipping into the bathroom, I find to my surprise that it’s a large communal space and I freeze, unable to breathe. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Maybe I don’t need to brush my teeth or do anything ever again.

Gasping in a sob, I close my eyes as I think about the auction house and the bathroom I was in before. While not exactly the same, it’s close enough to trigger me.

My back hits the wall and I slowly slide down until my face lays on my knee. Curled up, I struggle to get my breath under control. I’m safe, I’m not at the auction house, I will never be again.

I don’t know how much time passes by, but it couldn’t have been long, because no one comes in. I can hear people outside chatting, and I force myself to look up and glare at the bathroom.

Not the same , I tell myself before getting up shakily. The bathroom has a locker room type of set up, and it’s absolutely beautiful for a shelter. There is a long row of sinks, then another of toilets with doors that close, and on the other end there is a row of showers.

I find there is a solid door on each shower stall, as well as a little bench just inside of the doorway for me to change at and hold my clothing.

Stepping inside, I lock the door and put my things down, so I can undress. My face is still wet with tears and I sniffle as I turn on the water in the shower. Making sure the temperature is right, I slip inside to wash my hair and body.

I lose myself in my thoughts as I shower, worried about the way I reacted to the bathroom situation. I don’t know if it was the shock of it, or if things would have been different if I’d known.

Either way, the responsibility for my response sits firmly on my own shoulders.

I don’t know what is going to trigger a response or not. All I know as I shut off the water, is that it’s not going to be fun wading through it all.

Opening the shower curtain, I breathe a sigh of relief as I find my clothes are still there. Grabbing my towel, I dry off, shaking my head as I do. I don’t know why I suddenly had a worry that I wouldn’t.

I was homeschooled, so I had no experience whatsoever in a normal school environment. The only experience I have is through bullying in movies where they steal people’s clothing.

Stepping out of the shower, I quickly get dressed, thinking about how I need to find shoes soon. I may begin to feel a little more normal once I have them. Careful of any sort of wet spots, I gather up my toiletries after drying them thoroughly and put it all away.

Unlocking the door, I find there are people moving around now, and I find a place at the sink to brush my teeth before exiting the bathroom once I do.

“Adira?” a girl with long dark hair and pink streaks through it asks, pushing away from the wall. It looks as if she’s been waiting for me.

“Yes,” I say with a nod. “You’re looking for me?”

“I wanted to welcome you, show you around, and,” as she glances at my feet, she huffs out a breath, “find you some shoes.”

“I was just thinking about those,” I tease her. “I didn’t pay attention when I came in, I’ve gotten used to being barefoot.”

I realize how odd that sounds, but she simply nods.

“I’m Hazel by the way. I heard you came in late,” she says, starting to walk down the hall. Following her, I nod, still in her periphery so she can see me. “Go ahead and drop your things off, and I’ll start your tour. I want to make sure you eat before you talk to Aisling too.”

“Okay,” I murmur, thinking about how everyone is very concerned about me eating. I can feel how loose my clothes are, even if they are a smaller size than I’d usually wear. My curves have diminished in the last three weeks, and when I gaze at myself in the mirror, I can see how hollow my cheeks look now.

Opening my door, I put my things away the way that suits me, instead of tossing them, and then walk back out to stay by Hazel.

“You’ve probably noticed that everyone has their own room,” she says as she waves at my door. “It’s nice to have your own space when you’re in a transitional phase like this, and we thankfully have enough room to do it. The bathrooms are communal to help cut down on wait times.”

Hazel moves efficiently as she shows me around, and I’m amazed. She finds me a pair of slip-on tennis shoes from the closet where there are tons of shoes. There are also a lot of surprises at the shelter that I’d never have dreamed of.

There are study rooms for omega adults and their kids who are in school, as well as a large play area. The gym made my eyes widen, and I remember the way my father always made me walk a treadmill every day.

“It’s easy to feel cooped up here,” Hazel explains. “This helps with the pent up energy. You’re by no means forced to stay at the shelter all day, either. I’ll show you where the sign out list is, and how we leave and come back for safety purposes. The reason we have the sign out form is in case something happens and you don’t come back for some reason.”

“So safety reasons,” I muse, able to get behind that.

“Exactly. We want a general idea of where we can start looking,” she says with a nod. “Down that hallway, you’ll find the heat clinic. There are private rooms with soundproof walls, toys, high powered handheld shower heads, everything you can think of to get through a heat.”

Hazel blushing as she talks about shower heads is adorable. The co-founders have thought about almost everything.

“Over here, is a courtyard the original building had, but it was somewhere that squatters were using and it was open to the street,” Hazel explains. “It’s now surrounded on all sides by brick walls, the pavers that were once out here were torn out, and in the spring we’ll start working on a garden. We had some trouble with our grocer a few months ago, and are trying to be more self-sufficient. Gardening is something some people find fun or soothing too.”

“I’m in awe,” I admit. “This is all so beautiful.”

“We all work hard to keep this place safe,” she says with a smile. “We have a few rules, because we have to have them, the most important one is that we don’t tell people where this place is unless it’s clear they need our assistance. The outreach you came through is on flyers, but not many people understand the shelter is at the back of the warehouse. We have some chores we assign to make sure everyone does their part, and we do our own dishes. Otherwise, we all give each other space.”

It’s pretty standard for omegas living together, and they tend to need clean spaces, so I can see how this works so well.

“Completely understandable,” I agree.

“Alright, let’s head to the kitchen then, I’m sure Aisling is waiting,” Hazel says with a smile, walking me back through the halls.

People are chatting and eating, and there’s a large basket of muffins that look really good. There are other breakfast items, but my stomach isn’t in the mood.

“Can I grab a muffin?” I ask carefully.

“Anything in the kitchen is communal,” Hazel says sternly. “We have mini fridges in all of the rooms for anyone that wants to buy their own food.”

I don’t remember there being one in my room, but I still nod. Something crosses Hazel’s mind and she shakes her head, sighing.

“I’m going to make myself a note to put one in your room,” she says apologetically.

“It’s really not an issue,” I reassure her as I snag a blueberry muffin. “No money means no reason to have a fridge.”

It’s just the reality of my situation, and a really difficult one when I never had to worry about money. I think I’m so shell shocked, it hasn’t completely hit me yet. Fuck, I don’t have a single thing that belongs to me.

One of the girls turns toward me at the island with a raised brow. “Right now that’s the situation,” she says. “It won’t always be. We all pull ourselves up, girlie. Keep your head up.”

Nodding, I give her a tentative smile, finding it’s still difficult to pull off. I tried though. The girl doesn’t look put off at all and goes back to eating her breakfast.

Turning back to Hazel, I follow her out to the main outreach center as I nibble on my muffin. It’s really fluffy and delicious, with the top being the perfect texture.

Swallowing hard, I find myself really nervous. My hair is wet and my back is getting damp from it. I feel as much a mess inside as outside, and have no idea what to expect from the co-founder.

Is she going to kick me out when she finds out I have mafia ties, or that Rock Dresmond has a hard-on for my emotional and physical destruction?

He’s probably getting off on fantasies of what the Kelly brothers are doing to me. Dirty bastard.

As Hazel walks across the outreach center, she smiles at the two women sitting in the living area. It’s surprisingly empty, and one woman has dark brown hair and large hazel eyes, while the other woman has blonde hair with brilliant green eyes. They both stand as I approach them, while I feel really awkward.

“Welcome to Omega’s Haven , Adira,” the woman with the blonde hair says. “I’m Aisling and this is Wren. Good, you have something to eat. Do you drink coffee or tea?”

“Um, coffee,” I say softly. “Are you going to kick me out?”

I’d rather know now than get comfortable. Blinking rapidly, I feel like I’m in trouble, but I don’t know why. There’s a spark inside of me, running under my ribs, that feels worried and I whimper. I wish I was better at blocking him out, but it feels a little less lonely knowing he’s there.

“What? No,” Wren says, shaking her head. “Breathe, we really just wanted to chat. Promise.”

Hazel quietly leaves and I nod, my lips trembling. My panic attack from earlier is leaving me with a lot of unresolved emotions and anxiety, which is what I blame this on.

“Sit down and explain why you think you’d be kicked out,” Aisling says gently as Wren moves over to start coffee. I only have an idea that’s what she’s doing, because I can see the cute little blue coffee machine from here as I slowly do as Aisling suggests.

Taking a deep breath, I gaze down at my partially eaten muffin. I wish I was still hungry, because it was really good, and that makes me upset too. I’m a damn mess.

“I’m really complicated,” I mutter. I don’t even mean ‘it’s’ complicated, because my entire life is embroiled in a ridiculous amount of nonsense.

“Welcome to the club,” Wren says with a snort. “We’re going to get along fine.”