2. Ryder

2

RYDER

W hen I first started looking for Oria, never did I imagine finding the source. Or much less the source being a woman and that woman becoming my mate. The last few days had been exhausting and confusing.

Not to mention, the damn cat Oria always had around was a giant of a man and had been stuck in a grumpy cat's body all this time. I looked over at the man in question, wondering if he was a friend or foe. He had currently shifted into a wolf and we were running to our safe house to keep Oria safe.

I didn't know if it was the kinship I had felt with him, but I couldn't fathom him wanting to hurt Oria, not when he was so protective from the very beginning. But we don't trust anyone. We can't afford to trust anyone even though my gut was telling me that we could.

It didn't take us long to make it to the cabin, but I noticed Maxton getting slower and slower. I shifted to open the wards and barrier on the house, expecting to see him shift, but he laid down outside the door panting.

I opened the cabin door, letting Oria and Soren in, but Soren just stared at Maxton. His bond was telling him that he was the enemy; I could see the inner battle he was fighting. He clenched his jaw before going inside the cabin.

"Come on, we can eat some food and get some rest inside," I said, nodding to the door, but he just laid his head down. "I think it will be easier for all of us to be inside."

I tried to be amicable. He huffed, walking inside the house, staying in his wolf form. Once I locked the door, he laid against it, lying his head down and closing his eyes. I immediately walked to the kitchen and spotted Oria and Soren in the living room talking amongst themselves so low that I couldn't hear what they were saying.

It had been a while since we had all eaten, so I quickly grabbed things out of the freezer and a couple of canned beans. Maxton was a big guy, so I thought he would probably eat most of this. I got working on chicken burritos, defrosting and frying the chicken quickly.

"Can I help?" Oria's voice stilled me.

I looked over my shoulder. "Um… I'm almost done."

Very eloquent, Ryder.

"But if you want, you can cut up some lettuce," I said, and her entire face lit up.

"I can cut." She smiled coming into the kitchen.

I grabbed her a cutting board, knife and a head of lettuce. We worked in comfortable silence as we stole glances at each other. I laid out five big tortillas and made the burritos while she watched me. After I put the skillet down, we locked eyes and every nerve ending in my body felt like it was electrified.

Mine.

My wolf was on the edge of taking over so we could take her upstairs. My abdomen clenched in arousal as I thought of all the dirty ways I could make her say my name. Brand her so everyone knew who she belonged to.

A growl broke our spell. I looked over at Maxton who was backed up in the corner with Soren right in front of him. He was making Maxton feel uneasy and I suspected he stayed in animal form to keep from talking.

"Just shift because you owe us some fucking answers," Soren snarled.

Maxton growled.

"Fine, we will do it the hard way," Soren snapped, reaching for him when he shifted into an enormous lion that made me stop from going towards them.

"By shifting, you're only admitting your guilt," Soren growled.

I took a deep breath, wishing my friend didn't have to have such a big head that always got him in trouble.

"Soren, don't push it," I clipped.

"He owes us some fucking answers." Soren glanced back at us like I was an idiot for not demanding them.

"Sor." Oria's soft voice broke through the tension.

He looked at her with an annoyed expression, but it immediately went away.

"Look, I know you are worried about Loki, I mean, Maxton, but I don't think we have to worry," she said, walking up to him. "I trust him. He's looked out for me for a very long time and I have a feeling that he isn't here to harm me or any of us."

Soren looked at me and then back at his mate. "I don't trust him and the moment we let our guard down is the moment we could lose everything. I'm not taking any chances, Blondie."

He grabbed Oria and a burrito before he raced upstairs, leaving me with Maxton.

"Come on, let's eat and we can get some sleep before Gray gets back," I said, grabbing my food, but he didn't move.

He shifted into a wolf before laying back down, closing his eyes and I didn't have the energy to find out what the hell was wrong with him.

The sound of the fridge opening made me wake up abruptly.

"Gray?" I mumbled, looking around, but only found Maxton completely naked peering into the fridge.

"No, the other vampire hasn't returned," he said, glancing back at me.

Usually, nudity didn't bother me, but seeing this dude naked was going to give me a complex. I rolled off the sofa and headed into a room to look for some sweats for him. I was thinking we were the same size in the waist, but they might fit him a little short since I wasn't as tall as he was.

I grabbed the first pair in the drawer, throwing them at him as he took out the burritos. He caught them and put them on quickly. They did look a little short, but they would have to do.

"We can get you some clothes at the next city or town we go to," I said, sitting back on the couch.

He grunted as he took off the foil from the burrito and took a bite.

"We can heat that up for you," I said, knowing it wasn't as good unless it was hot.

He shook his head, taking a massive bite of it. He studied the burrito while he chewed. If he was two hundred years old, then I'm sure everything was just about as new for him as it was for Oria, but at least with her, she had gotten to experience some things as time changed.

"I'm sorry," I said, sympathizing with his situation.

He looked up at me with those piercing blue eyes. "For what?"

"I know all of this is new to you because she trapped you inside a cat for almost two hundred years," I said, leaning my elbows on my thighs. "And I can't imagine what a burden it's been for you to know the truth and sit back and watch her suffer."

He stared at me for a second. "I would never do anything to hurt her or put her in harm's way. I took an oath to protect her." He had a dreamy expression as he paused. "I care for her; we grew up together."

"You love her," I said, recognizing it.

He didn't look up at me. "With every fiber of my being and I always will. I watched her get engaged to?—"

A moan cut off Maxton. A look of devastation crossed his face before he grabbed his last piece of burrito, walking out of the cabin. I heard another moan when I went to the fridge to get some water and head outside with him.

I didn't see him at first, worried he had taken off, but when I saw him pacing in the trees, I felt for him. He looked distraught, completely wrecked and I wondered if it might be a good thing if he just got away.

"Here," I said, handing him a water bottle, thinking maybe he needed tequila instead of this.

"Thanks," he grumbled.

He looked at it for a second before I grabbed it out of his hand, opening it for him. He nodded, taking a drink out of it like he was afraid to spill it. I almost laughed at the thought of having to teach him how to drink.

"Don't," he growled.

"I forget that you have no experience in this world, that most of this is new to you and it's definitely going to be an adjustment for you," I said, walking to a rock, opening the water and taking a sip.

"I didn't think I would ever get a chance to experience anything as a human again," he said, looking up. "After the last hundred years, I had resigned myself to living forever as a cat."

"I'm still surprised you didn't lose yourself," I said, listening for anything out of the ordinary in the forest. "I think I would have gone crazy from not being able to communicate."

"It was awful. The first fifty years were the hardest because I tried to shift every day. I was so eager to save her, to help her, but I failed. She clung on to me so much, it eased the hardship of being just a cat," he said, sitting on the floor. "After that, I stopped trying to shift and I just lived, trying to ease her pain. Her loneliness was the hardest to watch because there wasn't anything I could do for her."

His knees were bent as his arms rested on top and his head hung down.

I opened and closed my mouth a few times trying to figure out what I wanted to say to him. Nothing felt right except, "I'm glad she had you."

His electric blue eyes looked up at me.

"I wish I could have been more. I'm jealous of you," he said, looking away.

"Jealous?"

There wasn't a lot to be jealous about.

"She is your mate," he said, with a longing that made me feel like shit.

"She is," I said, not knowing what else to say. "I…"

"You don't have to lie to me. I know where your heart lies, but I also know your wolf is giving you a hard time," he said, taking a deep breath. "I envy the bond you have with her."

I wanted to say I didn't want the bond, but I'd be lying. In the last forty-eight hours, she had burrowed her way into my soul. Her soft smiles, her ability to handle everything that had been thrown at her and the kindness she had shown me even though I had been a fucking asshole to her had won me over. My heart felt heavy thinking I was letting go of Serena too soon, leaving me confused and lost.

"I'm not good enough for her," I said, struggling with the internal battle I had with myself.

"You know that's a bad excuse," he said, giving me a pointed look. "You know the goddesses and gods don't give out mate bonds without some heavy consideration."

I scowled at his comment. This was supposed to be about him, not me.

"Don't give me that look. You know I'm right, but all I'm saying is some of us never get the chance to find our mate. We never find that person who completes us in every way." He looked solemn. "Don't pass it up because I know you'll regret it in the future."

"My brain and heart are on different pages," I said, finally saying the words out loud. "I want her, like I need her to survive, but I'm still…. hung up on my ex."

Saying I loved Serena felt wrong and it only made me feel even worse.

"Hung up?" He scowled at me.

I chuckled. "I still have feelings for Serena."

"I don't think you ever truly stop loving anyone, it might fade and lessen, but I think they will always be a part of you no matter what," he said, thoughtfully. "She will always be with you, Ryder. It sounds like she helped make you into the man you are today and knowing Oria, she will never make you forget her."

My heart felt like it was starting to constrict.

"Damn, Catzilla. I wanted to hate you, but you're making it really hard to."

Soren walked up to us.

Maxton looked at Soren with a bored expression, but I could feel some of his hostility.

"I also heard you love our girl," Soren said, stopping close to us, his hands in his pants pockets.

Maxton growled, getting up, turning away from us.

"Hey, I'm sorry," Soren said quickly, stopping Maxton in his tracks. "I'm not saying it to make you feel bad, but you gotta know where I'm coming from if you love her."

Maxton slowly looked over his shoulder. "I do. I would rather die than see her get hurt. There was once a time that I thought she was mine."

"I just want to keep my mate safe." The vulnerability in Soren's voice made me study him.

The bond had changed him and I never thought I would see the day my best friend was head over heels for a woman.

"I'll protect her, and once Laima has been taken care of, then I will leave," he said, glancing at me before leaving.

"He's right, she'd never make you choose," Soren said.

"I'm just not ready," I said.

I don't know if I ever will be.