1. Maxton

1

MAXTON

T he stunned silence was unnerving. A wolf and a vampire looked at me like they were ready to tear me apart. I fought the instinct to make myself look bigger and ooze dominance; I didn't want to make the situation worse. My old instincts came barreling back to protect the princess. My hand twitched, ready to grab my nonexistent sword.

For the first time in almost two hundred years, I was human again. My body felt foreign. It was amazing to be me again, not ideal that I was naked, but I couldn't complain. I was standing on two legs in front of the woman who I was supposed to protect and had failed. I took a deep breath, the ache inside of me easing a bit, now that I could finally communicate instead of meowing and hissing.

"P-princess?" Oria looked at me, confusion marred her beautiful face.

"Yes, my princess," I said, kneeling on instinct, trying not to topple over from only being on two legs now. "I am at your service once again."

I wanted to tell her everything, but I didn't know if she was ready for the truth. Everything was on the tip of my tongue, waiting to be let out, even though I knew this wasn't an ideal time.

"I… I don't understand, I can't be a princess and how the hell were you my guard?" She looked around at us, the panic in her voice making us all tense. "You were just my cat, Loki, not even a few hours ago."

I tried not to sneer at the stupid name Laima had given me.

"There's a lot to tell you. Like, my name isn't Loki," I said, eager to blurt out everything. "There's a reason you don't remember your life, before going into hiding with Laima."

Her breathing was labored; she looked lost and confused.

She grimaced in pain. "I just thought, the trauma…."

"No, princess, I don't want to overwhelm you, but you deserve the truth," I said, hating that I was the one who had to tell her everything.

"How do we know you're not some elaborate plan to keep tabs on her?" Soren stepped forward, pushing her behind him. "To feed her these lies and keep her pliant to whatever plan Laima has."

A growl threatened to escape. He wasn't my enemy and if I were in his position, I knew I would be wary too. We all should be wary of everything at this point. Laima was an extremely smart woman; she didn't want to do anything to lose her investment.

"You don't," I replied truthfully, standing up on shaky legs. "I made a promise to her and our king that I would lay my life on the line for hers. I was appointed her personal guard, and I don't plan to break that promise ever."

I tried to pour every ounce of honesty I had into those words. They looked at me with varying degrees of distrust and wariness. Oria's gaze was the most heart wrenching. There once was a time when she only looked at me with trust, and never once questioned my loyalty.

Now she looked at me with fear and wariness.

Memories came back to me of growing up and playing together. Our families were close and once I was old enough, I joined the royal guard. My father took care of the king, and it was only logical that I would protect the princess. She already trusted me, so it made protecting her easier.

Soren looked like he was ready to leave me, but Ryder's gaze told me he was on the fence. The wolf and I had unfortunately bonded through our shared feelings of hatred for the twins that were bonded with Oria. I think it was the shifter in us that recognized each other as allies. He was my ticket in, hopefully.

"It doesn't seem likely that he is a spy," Ryder said while studying me. "Hasn't he been with you since the beginning?"

"Yes, he has," she said, looking up at him. "It's always been Loki and I."

When I grimaced at the name, she looked at me sheepishly.

"I'm sorry. What is your name again?" Her melodic voice eased the tension in me.

"My name is Maxton."

"Maxton," she said, like she was testing out my name and I wondered if it might bring back some memories.

"I've been just as stuck in that tower and the house before that as you have been," I said, looking for a place to sit. "When I found out where she had taken you, I foolishly thought I could bring you home. I was an idiot for thinking I could do it alone."

Oria bit her bottom lip, looking at Soren and Ryder. She was curious, but I hated the wariness in her eyes. It made me want to be that cat that sat in her lap, offering her comfort and someone to ease her burden even though I couldn't speak to her. My legs felt shaky, not used to standing in my human form. I spotted a rock by me and when I moved to sit, all of them tensed.

"I know me being a man is hard to comprehend, but I'm still the same cat, who has been with you all these years. The cat who has seen you cry, stayed close when you were scared and the same cat who's tried to keep you safe from doing something stupid," I said, running my hands through my short hair.

"The same cat who has watched her get roughed up and seen the abuse without ever shifting," Soren snapped. "You didn't protect her."

"I was stuck as a cat," I growled. "I haven't been able to shift in almost two hundred years."

Oria covered her face, hiding behind Soren. My outburst wasn't necessary, but the situation was making me irritated. I craved her trust again, but I craved my friend too.

"How have you not gone crazy?" Ryder asked. "If I stay in my wolf form too long, I feel like I'm losing a piece of myself."

"I don't know, but I'm not the same type of shifter as you," I said, getting weary. "I don't have a separate consciousness like you do. Anytime I shift, it's just me."

My body felt heavy like lead, I wasn't used to gravity in my human form, but I was also tired from pushing myself. Shifting to the cheetah, fighting and then pushing myself to shift into a man had exhausted me.

"Loki, I mean Maxton," Oria whispered, and I hated that name in her mouth, but appreciated that she corrected herself.

"Shit, he's getting tired. We need to get going before he passes out," Ryder said, walking to me. "Come on big guy, we need to get somewhere safe, so you can rest and put some clothes on."

The authority in his voice helped my body move. Not that I doubted it, but I had assumed Ryder had some Alpha blood in him. It made sense that he ran his group of merry thieves.

"Yeah, you're going to poke someone's eye out," Soren mumbled, and Ryder laughed.

My coordination was awful as Ryder kept me upright. I looked over to see Oria smiling and even though I had no idea what was going on, I loved to see her smiling.

The field we transported to was empty and once we got into the forest, my worry subsided. We walked in silence as I got better control of my body, almost debating on shifting again because walking on two legs was hard and awkward. We hadn't walked far when I was out of breath.

"I have to shift," I groaned.

Ryder stiffened next to me.

"I don't think that is the best idea," he said, stopping.

My actions had never been questioned so much, I was used to having people trust me because I was a guard. It made me realize that I never had to earn it.

"We've been out here for too long and we need to get her safe," I said, speaking logically, I knew they would understand.

If I had learned anything about these guys, she was their priority, even if they denied their feelings. I glanced at Ryder, wishing I was in his position. What I wouldn't give to be her mate...

"You want to shift so you can go back?—"

"He's right, we have to hurry," Ryder interrupted Soren.

Soren glared at me with distrust in eyes.

"He won't betray us," Oria said, but didn't look at me.

Was she afraid of me? My heart hurt at the distance that had been created.

"I promise, I won't," I said, putting my hand over my heart.

"Blondie, you don't know anything about this guy," Soren objected. "You don't even remember him; he could be anyone."

I clenched my jaw in anger that he was so adamant about leaving me behind.

"Have faith, Soren," she said, cupping his face to look at her.

He pressed his forehead against hers. Jealousy reared its ugly head, making me want to lash out. I shifted into a wolf, thinking it would be easier to blend in with the background. My equilibrium felt better now that I was on all fours, but I was still exhausted.

The feeling of being watched washed over me as Ryder looked at me curiously. I grumbled, walking away, sitting down looking out into the forest trying to hear anything. Soren and Oria spoke in hushed tones, grating on my nerves that she had found her mates. I, unfortunately, wasn't one of them, even though my entire life I had believed her to be mine and I would have to see her love someone else from afar… again.

Ryder started walking and I stayed behind him, so they didn't think I was going to run away. The longer we walked, the more I thought that leaving might be the best course of action. Leaving her felt like I was ripping an appendage off; nerves gathered in my stomach like lead.

I would do my duty, and then I would leave; that would be it. I would make sure she was safe with her mates and then go back home, maybe find a nice woman. My stomach soured.

I can't love her. I can't force a bond. She will never be mine.

Maybe I just needed to stay in animal form, so I didn't have to talk to her, and I could just keep to myself. Less interaction was going to be good for us, it would be better for me.

"Where are we?" Oria asked.

"We are about a couple miles from the safe house," Ryder answered first. "It might be better if Loki, I mean, Maxton, and I run ahead to make sure we are safe."

Thank the goddess.

"Ryder," Soren growled.

"Trust me," Ryder said, taking his clothes off and I thought I could fucking kiss the man for his trust in me.

My muscles relaxed at the excitement of running, getting some distance from her and getting out of my own head.

Ryder shifted quickly before nodding his head in the direction he wanted us to go in. If we were related or a part of a pack, I wondered if we would have been able to communicate.

"I think it's going to be better for all of us to run together," Soren insisted.

I sat and looked away, waiting for Ryder to argue with him, but he just huffed and took off running. I followed Ryder, seeing Soren pick up Oria and we ran together. The feel of the ground underneath me, the fresh air and the freedom eased the turmoil I was feeling inside.

I just had to make sure she was safe from Laima and I could move on, even if it was the last thing I wanted to do.