The Fine Print （7）

Ryan tapped lightly against the hotel bathroom door. "Hayes? You OK?"

He'd been in there for over 40 minutes, and it was starting to freak Ryan out a bit.

Immediately after Sev left, Hayes had disappeared. Ryan figured maybe he needed to get his head on straight after what had just happened, so he let him have his space. But now he was concerned, considering he hadn't even turned on the shower.

"Fine," he responded for the fifth time.

"Do you think I can come in? Or maybe you can come out? You've been in there awhile and I'm starting to worry. And I need to brush my teeth."

A moment later, he heard the door lock click, so he turned the handle and pushed it open slowly. He found Hayes leaning over with both palms pressed against the vanity, an uncapped pill bottle and a small bottle of whisky right next to him.

Ryan reached over, picked up the bottle, and capped it. "How, um…many did you take?"

"A couple. It's my…"

"...shoulder," Ryan interrupted. "Right."

"Rook, don't fuckin' start," Hayes warned quietly, closing his eyes, as Ryan reached for his toothbrush.

"We can talk about it if you want," Ryan offered, as he squeezed some toothpaste out onto the brush head. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Hayes asked, not moving.

"What just happened."

"It happened. It's over. What's there to talk about?"

"Um…" Ryan wet his toothbrush and quickly stuck it in his mouth, buying himself some time, considering he really didn't wanna talk about the incredibly hot, downright filthy threesome they'd just had with a man they both hardly knew either.

Hayes went and turned the shower on, stepping inside and closing the sliding glass door behind him. Ryan watched him as he just stood there letting the water cascade around him, arms crossed in front of him, his head dipping forward.

As much as he didn't want to, Ryan knew there was something he needed to ask him. It was the second time it'd happened, and he knew Hayes wasn't OK.

After rinsing his toothbrush, he stood next to the shower door. "Mind if I join you?"

Hayes nodded. "Go for it, stud."

Ryan removed his clothing and stepped inside, standing behind him and wrapping his arms around his chest. Hayes immediately clutched his forearms and leaned his head back to rest on his boyfriend's shoulder.

He was shaking, and Ryan didn't know if it was because of the drugs or…something else, though the thought of it being either option terrified him.

"It happened again," Ryan finally said.

"Yeah," Hayes agreed softly. He really didn't wanna go there, but he knew Ryan well enough to know that he'd just keep pushing until he did.

Ryan was referring to the way Hayes had reacted when Sev called him a good boy. It'd happened once before when Hayes was going down on Ryan in the backseat of the truck. Caught up in the moment and desiring to try something new, Ryan told him he loved watching him suck his cock like a good boy. Hayes had immediately stopped, all the color drained from his face, and he was silent for the rest of the night, assuring Ryan that it must've been something he'd eaten.

"You can trust me, Ty," Ryan whispered, kissing the side of his face. "I'm your safe space, OK? Nothing you could tell me would ever change how I feel about you. Absolutely nothing. You know that, right?"

Hayes nodded again, squeezing his eyes shut even tighter. He said a silent prayer of thanks to whatever God there was for putting this man into his life, followed by a silent prayer of strength to please not ever let him fuck this up.

"I was 15, Rook."

Fuck.

He'd never told anyone.

But if he was going to tell someone, it was going to be Ryan.

"She was my junior A coach's wife."

Shit.

"The billet family that took me in? The dad got real sick after a few weeks and they couldn't commit any more. He actually ended up dyin' about a month later. The league tried, but there wasn't another family who could house me. So, the coach of the Blades agreed to take me in, even though they didn't normally do that and it was highly frowned upon. It was that or I went back home, and he said I was too talented for him to let that happen."

Ryan felt him tense up, so he squeezed him tighter.

"Beginning of the season, one of the assistant coaches had a pool party at his house for all the players. She came there with us, and I just remember her watchin' me the entire fuckin' day, man. Like, every time I looked at her, she was lookin' right back at me. And she was a fuckin' smokeshow, Rook. Had this tight little body with this tiny ass purple bikini on, barely covered shit. Massive fake cans. All us idiots were hard as fuck watchin' her strut around all day. She knew what she was doin'."

"How old was she?"

"Thirty-six. Anyway, her husband went somewhere, and so when it was time to leave, it was just me and her." He sighed, taking a deep breath.

Hayes felt crazy saying this out loud; he never had before and saying it out loud made it real. Hayes had often wondered if he'd imagined it, exaggerated it, maybe gotten fantasy confused with reality at some point.

But he hadn't.

It was real.

"She talked to me the whole ride home. It started with her askin' if I liked her bathin' suit, if I noticed her watchin' me, shit like that. Then it took a sharp turn, man. She told me she saw my dick was hard all day and that she liked it, asked if it was hard because of her. Then she asked if I'd ever had sex before. I'd never even kissed a girl at that point…nah, I lied. I'd tried to kiss this chick who lived two trailers down, but it was so goddamn awkward that I gave up. Our teeth kept bumpin' and shit. It was a disaster…I didn't know what I was doin' and neither did she."

Ryan noticed Hayes was rambling, but in a semi-calm way. He figured the oxy was kicking in, which, as much as Ryan hated it, might have been a good thing for him at this moment.

"When we got back to their house, she took me down to the basement and had her fuckin' way with me on their pool table. Jerked me off while I sucked on her tits, then blew me. She made me cum twice before we even had sex. Said I had to so I could last longer for her. I didn't know what the fuck was happenin'. She was ridin' me and started makin' all these noises like she was in pain. I got scared, man. I thought I was hurtin' her. I tried to stop, but she kept going. Then I realized she was comin'. She told me, ‘You're such a good boy for me, Tyler' while she came all over my dick, Rook. That's how I lost my virginity."

He stopped talking for a bit, sickened with himself for getting hard.

Ryan didn't know what to say, so he just held onto him.

Hayes continued. "Told me she couldn't help herself, that I'd clearly been given this big dick to please women, like it was my fault or somethin'."

He paused for a moment, giving a hat tip to irony as he stood wrapped naked and wet in the arms of the man with whom he was madly in love.

So much for that theory.

"How the fuck could she say that to a kid?" Ryan asked, anger rising within him. He thought back to his own experience losing his virginity, and while he'd technically been legal, that woman had absolutely no right doing what she'd done to him either.

"She fucked me a few times a week after that, Rook. Taught me everything. And I knew it was wrong, but she told me he cheated on her all the time, so I sorta justified it that way. I wanted to stop so bad, but I couldn't. We never got caught either. She even told me…" he snickered. "Fuckin' told me she didn't want me datin' any other girls because she loved me, that we'd be together for real someday.

"And I believed her like a dumbass, so I didn't. Then, when I got drafted by Barrie at the end of the season to play major juniors, that was it. Rook, she didn't even say goodbye to me when I left. I…never saw her again. Heard through the grapevine she got locked up for bangin' a 14-year-old a few months later."

"Hayes…" Ryan said softly. But he hadn't the first clue what to follow it up with.

"So, that's why I hate that praise shit, OK? I don't wanna be told I'm good. I'm the farthest…fuckin' thing from good there is. You ever wonder why I'm so obsessed with older chicks, why I went on to fuck around with two billet moms while playin' for the Colts until one of their coaches had to take me in or my hockey career would've been over? That's why. They don't tell you this shit when you sign up to leave home as a child, man. No one reads you the fine print.

"You're the only person I've ever told, and I think it's because you're one of the only people who's never…you've never treated me like an object, Rook. I'm not just some thing that exists for your enjoyment. You see me for me. All of me. And when you tell me you love me, I know you mean it. I've never…had that before. With anyone. She even made me hate my own fuckin' name, Rook. That bitch broke me."

"No, she didn't. You're so tough and far from broken. You're one of the strongest motherfuckers I know, baby."

Hayes scoffed, running his fingers along Ryan's forearms, which were still wrapped around him. Hayes may have been strong, but when you've had to be strong for as long as he'd had to be, there eventually came a breaking point.

And he knew, as did Ryan, that he'd reached it.

???

"Got everything?" Ryan asked, bags in hand, as they did a once-over on the suite before heading to the airport to catch their flight back to New York. Bridgeport had a home game the following day, so Ryan had to get back for today's afternoon practice. Hayes figured he'd fly home with him instead of with the team since they had a three-day break coming up for Thanksgiving.

"Think so," Hayes mumbled, feeling like he'd been hit by a train. He'd just popped a few more oxys and was waiting for them to kick in, but his body had already begun to experience withdrawal. This had been happening more and more lately, causing him to increase the amount of pills he took. As always, he made sure to take them out of Ryan's sight to avoid getting the third degree.

As they walked to the elevator and waited, Hayes pulled out his phone to check it, realizing he'd still had it on silent from the night before. When he unlocked his screen, he saw he had 43 text notifications and 13 missed calls.

"Fuck."

He scrolled through the messages, and 28 of them were from TK at various points throughout last night and early this morning, hence why his phone had been on silent. The last thing he needed was another fight with Ryan over his hot as fuck teammate.

TK's messages were mostly gibberish, the last one having come through at 2:36 AM. The calls and the rest of the texts were from several of his teammates and had started around 7:30 AM, about two hours prior.

You seen TK?

TK with you? We can't find him anywhere.

Is TK with you and Baylor?

TK didn't show up for the flight, man. Please tell me he's with you and Baylor.

If you hear from TK, can you please let me know? Missed his flight and we're hoping he's with you.

"Shit," Hayes muttered, as they stepped on. "Rook, I don't think I'm makin' this flight home."

"Why's that?"

"TK missed the team flight. No one's heard from him."

But Ryan already knew that, since several of the Islanders had texted him, too. There was no way he was letting Hayes know that though.

"So?" Ryan replied coldly. "He's a big boy. Probably got caught up with some chick."

"Nah, he's at the Santa Monica pier. At least his phone was early this morning."

"And why do you know that?"

Hayes's heart sank. "Because he shared his location with me before he stopped texting me."

"Yeah, that"s not weird or anything," Ryan remarked, as they stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby. "Whatever, I'm sure he'll turn up."

Or he's dead in a ditch somewhere and did us all a favor, Ryan thought, immediately hating himself for being so heinous.

He just really couldn't stand that son of a bitch.

"Rook, he might be in trouble. I shouldn't have had my phone on silent. Dammit! I…I gotta go look for him. Can you take me? We can always transfer our tickets to a different flight if we need to."

"No, Hayes, we can't. Because I have to get back for fucking practice today, remember?" Ryan snapped. "No, of course you don't."

"Then I guess I'll see you later," Hayes replied, pulling up the Uber app on his phone to arrange a ride.

"Seriously? You're not his babysitter, Ty."

"And you're not mine."

"No, I'm not. But I am your boyfriend and I'm getting real sick of this fucking shit!" Ryan yelled, turning a few heads as it echoed throughout the lobby. He lowered his voice, narrowing his eyes at Hayes. "He wants to be a junkie, fine. But I won't keep sitting back while he turns the man I love into one, too. You're falling the fuck apart, Tyler. You can't even get out of bed without popping pills, you look like a bag of hell, and your game is absolute garbage. You played like shit last night. I was embarrassed for you, not to mention pissed that I flew all the way out here just to watch you get sat in the second fucking period." He softened his tone when he saw the hurt that crept across Hayes's face. "I'm just worried about you…"

"And right now, I'm worried about my friend."

"Friend," Ryan scoffed. "Right."

"Fuck's that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just say I'm surprised it wasn't his dick up your ass last night."

There it was.

"Oh, really?" Hayes asked, staring him down.

"Yeah, really."

"You probably would've liked it if it was."

"Not as much as you would've."

Hayes, in true Hayes fashion, doubled down. "Want me to set it up? You can jerk off while I choke on his cock for you. You like that, right?"

"You're sick."

"And you're bein' a fuckin' asshole. My ride's almost here, I gotta go." Hayes shoved his phone into his back pocket and walked toward the front door.

"So, it's like that?" Ryan called, following him.

"Yeah. It's like that," Hayes responded without turning around. "I'm not fuckin' leavin' him here, Rook. He wouldn't leave me here."

Checking the time on his phone and knowing damn well he was going to miss his flight and his practice, he sighed, rolled his eyes and followed his boyfriend. "Wait up. I'll…fucking drive you."