Happily Ever After （35）

"Fuck, Rook. Just like…that," Hayes gasped.

Seated on the floor with Ryan bouncing in his lap, he leaned back, letting his head smack the wall behind him as Ryan, hands now wrapped around his throat, rode him through the pulses of his orgasm. Ryan had already shot off all over Hayes's stomach a few seconds before, and as Hayes finished coming, Ryan collapsed forward onto him, both of them completely spent, held up only by the wall behind them.

Following the ceremony, they'd taken all of their wedding guests out for an exquisite dinner, during which they'd shared their first, and probably only, dance as a married couple to "I'll Stand By You" by The Pretenders. The song had been Ryan's favorite on the "Tyler Misses Ryan" playlist.

Once everyone had said their goodbyes, the newlyweds headed over to the luxury king suite Hayes had booked for them at an inn and spa. He knew they wouldn't be able to enjoy it for long, as Ryan had to leave for Boston early tomorrow morning, but he wanted every moment he could spend with his new husband to be absolutely perfect.

They'd made it inside the door of the suite and had barely gotten it shut before throwing their bags to the ground and tearing each other out of their clothes, movie-style flying dress shirt buttons and all. They couldn't fuck each other fast enough, and though they'd taken the necessary extra few seconds to grab the lube, they'd ultimately committed a cardinal sex sin, having both ended up butt naked minus their socks.

"That felt amazing," Ryan whispered, tracing Hayes's chest tattoo with his index finger before lifting his head and planting a series of soft kisses along his jawline. "I'm so in love with you it hurts."

"I fuckin' hope so, Rook. ‘Cause you're for sure stuck with me now." He flashed his ring in Ryan's face. "No returns, bitch."

Ryan flashed his ring in Hayes's face in response. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Speakin' of," Hayes said, grabbing Ryan's left hand and pulling the ring off. "You didn't check out the inside." Ryan reached up and grabbed the ring, twisting it and squinting so he could make out the inscription, which read, "My Rook. My everything."

"It's beautiful."

"Just like you. Now, go get cleaned up so I can give you your Valentine's Day present."

"But wait, there's more!" Ryan joked, moving gingerly off Hayes's lap and making a face at the mess that ensued as things were removed that had been holding other things in place.

"Not gonna lie," Hayes offered, as he watched Ryan get up and make his way to the bathroom, his ass ultimately losing the battle against his husband's load. "That's kinda hot."

"Um, no. Just…no."

Once they'd showered and thrown on some sweatpants, Hayes presented Ryan with a shoebox-sized gift wrapped in red paper as he sat on the suite couch. "I'm having flashbacks to last Christmas. This isn't another jersey for me to wear while you give me back shots and cum as you stare at your own name, is it?"

"First of all, don't act like you don't fuckin' love that shit. And second, you think a jersey's gonna fit in that box?"

Ryan unwrapped the box and stared at it, confused, as it was solid black.

"Open it, dummy."

Peeling back the lid, he reached in and pulled out an item in bubble wrap that looked an awful lot like a dick. As he removed the bubble wrap, he stopped, burst out laughing, and looked over at his husband. "Stop it! No, you did not have a custom mold of your cock made into a dildo."

"Uh, you're damn right I did. Now you can take it with you wherever you go. And tell that blond bitch to fuck off while you're at it," he muttered.

"Hayes?" Ryan warned.

"Sorry."

Ryan twisted it around in his hands and examined it. "That's…yeah, that's your cock alright. Look at that."

"Fuckin' better be for what they charged."

"Well, listen. You're nothing if not thoughtful." Ryan leaned in and kissed him. "Thank you. But," he said, getting up from the couch and walking to one of his nearby bags. He pulled out a Dora the Explorer gift bag and walked it over to Hayes. "I have something for you, too. Don't mind the bag. It was a two-pack. Only thing I had." He sat down next to his husband. "Happy Valentine's Day, even though it's a bullshit, made-up, crap holiday that now just so happens to be our wedding day."

Hayes reached into the bag and removed a book.

Ryan's book

Breaking Ryan Baylor.

"Yo, you finished your memoir? Like, it's published now?"

"Almost. This is an author proof. That gray ‘Not For Resale' ribbon," he said, pointing to it, "won't be there on the final one. But, open to the dedication page."

Hayes flipped to it, then read aloud slowly.

"To Tyler Hayes.

My reason.

My truth.

My home."

Hayes nodded, wiping his eyes and clasping his hands on top of the book on his lap. "Wow, Rook. I'm gonna…actually have to read this now, eh?" He peeked over at Ryan, whose sour expression didn't disappoint. "I'm kiddin'. I can't wait. This is…awesome. And I'm so proud of you for puttin' it all out there. I know it wasn't easy for you."

"There's a lot that hasn't been easy for me. For both of us. And there's…I went into some pretty heavy detail in there," he offered, pointing to the book. "But it's because of those struggles that we're here today, Tyler. And I wouldn't change anything. Not one single thing about any of it."

"I gotta admit, Rook. When I was a kid, dreamin' about what my happily ever after might look like, it wasn't this."

Ryan placed a hand on his husband's thigh. "Me either. But this is only the beginning for us. We've…there's a lot we both have left to do in this life, Hayes. And there's no one I'd rather do any of it with but you."

"God, I love you." Hayes grabbed onto Ryan's shoulders and lay back on the couch, pulling his back down onto his chest and wrapping his legs around Ryan's waist. "But Rook?"

Ryan clutched his husband's forearms against his chest as he felt Hayes's heart rate increase. "Yeah?"

"What if I relapse? Or, like, what if the depression gets too bad or somethin'?"

"I don't understand the question."

"The rest of my life is gonna be an uphill battle, you know? And I'm not sayin' it'll happen. But, if it does, and you wanna leave? I won't blame you."

Ryan slid his left hand up to Hayes's, placing their rings right next to each other. "So, what if my anxiety gets too bad? Or I struggle with my sex addiction again? You out?"

"Never. You wanna get rid of me? Gonna have to murder my ass. And even then I'll probably come back and haunt you. Yo, remember that one show we watched where people believed they were bangin' ghosts? Shit was crazy."

Ryan laughed. "Yeah, that was wild." He moved his left hand slightly against his husband's, lining the two rings up. "Anyway, you see these?"

"Yeah."

"Those? Mean that this is forever, OK? I'm here, Hayes. I'm here for the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. Whatever you struggle with, I'll do what I can to help you through it. And if I can't, then I'll struggle right alongside you. But you don't ever have to do any of this alone again. You understand that, right?"

Hayes lifted Ryan's left hand to his face and kissed it. "I do. I just worry ‘cause I don't wanna lose you again."

"If there's one thing I can promise you, Tyler, it's that you won't. I'm in it."

They lay there together for a bit, silent except for the sound of their breathing and hearts beating, before Ryan finally sat up and stretched. "I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. And I have to get up early. Wanna move this party to the bedroom?"

After Hayes treated his husband to a quick hand job while they both brushed their teeth, and after Hayes completed his nightly moisturizing routine, which he was unable to talk Ryan into joining, they crawled into bed. Ryan slid behind Hayes, pressing his chest against his back, wrapping an arm around him, and swinging his leg on top of Hayes's. "Do you remember?" he asked quietly, as Hayes rested a hand on top of Ryan's leg.

"Of course. This is how we fell asleep together that first night on the road."

"Yeah, until you ditched me halfway through the night and blamed it on my snoring."

"I was fucked up about it, Rook. Everything happened so fast that night, and I didn't know what to feel. It freaked me out a little. And I don't wanna hear it. At least I fuckin' gave you some sloppy head. You wouldn't even touch my dick. I had to jerk off."

"I was fucked up about it, too."

"Funny how much has changed in just over a year, eh?"

Ryan didn't answer, and very soon after, Hayes heard him snoring lightly.

Smiling, Tyler Hayes closed his eyes and made a mental note of everything about this moment: the way Ryan's body felt against his, the way he smelled, the sound of his breathing. He knew that the road ahead of him was going to be a long one, full of twists, turns, and challenges of a magnitude he couldn't even imagine.

"The rest of your life? That's the challenge."

And that may have been true.

He would always be an addict.

He would always be in recovery.

He would always have to fight like hell against his demons.

But he'd never again have to do any of it alone.

The unstable environment in which he'd grown up. Not knowing who his father was. Having been sexually abused and developing an aversion to his own name. And having overcompensated for all of it until it caught up with him, resulting in him turning to drugs and alcohol to cope. Those things were real, yes, but he decided that he'd no longer allow them to define him or to have any power over him.

After having spent most of his life searching, he exhaled contentedly and closed his eyes, cautiously optimistic for the rest of his life, during which he'd finally get to know the real Tyler Hayes.

And maybe he'd even learn to love him, too.