Nothing Happened （12）

How the fuck did this even happen?

Grabbing the toilet seat with both hands, Hayes retched the contents of his stomach into the bowl, having barely made it there after fleeing from his bed. He lifted his left hand to flush, thinking he was finished. However, the sticky resistance of his teammate's cum between his palm and the seat quickly made him realize he had more in him.

A lot more.

So, he let that go, too.

He truly didn't understand how he'd gotten here and it was freaking him the fuck out.

He replayed the last thing he could remember over and over in his mind to the point of exhaustion: the warm, intense rush of euphoria that overtook his entire body when the needle had been emptied into his vein.

How that had turned into Travis Kadin coming all over his cock remained a mystery.

The dreams he'd had while riding his first heroin high were so vivid, so realistic, that the realization they'd been dreams at all fucked with Hayes on a level he almost couldn't handle.

In his mind, everything was perfect. Ryan hadn't left. They were still together, lying in his bed, with Ryan's arms wrapped around his chest from behind. He'd alternated between squeezing Hayes and running his fingers through his hair, lightly massaging his head.

"I'm here for you, baby," he'd remembered hearing Ryan say clear as day. "Anything you want, anything you need, Ty Hayes, I'm here for you."

It'd been…perfect. There was no other word for it.

There'd been no pain, no sadness, no sickness, and no anxiety. Just pure, uninterrupted serenity as he lay wrapped in his boyfriend's arms. He remembered trying to speak but being unable, attempting several times to ask Ryan to marry him. He wanted so badly to hear him say that he would, but for some reason Hayes couldn't get the words to come out. He remembered feeling OK about it, able to sense the deep connection they shared through their touch as they lay there wrapped up in each other.

Hayes knew that if they did get married, it wouldn't be anytime soon, but he also knew that any version of any future life he could possibly plan for himself included Ryan Baylor by his side.

Because if it didn't, there was no point.

At some point during his dream, they'd begun to mess around, despite Ryan attempting to stop it from happening several times when Hayes had first snaked his hand behind him and tried to fist his cock through his sweats.

"Hey. We don't have to do this," he'd told him, pushing his hand away and placing it back in front of him. "You don't wanna do this to him, baby."

To him?

Who's him?

Hayes remembered thinking that was odd; he was pretty sure Ryan Baylor's DNA was coded in such a way that he was physically unable to turn down a hand job. It'd always remained in the back of Hayes's thoughts that he was dating a recovering sex addict, and because of that, he made every effort to ensure he could always be enough for him, do whatever weird shit he was into in the hopes that Ryan wouldn't stray emotionally and end up breaking his fragile heart.

He'd gotten his boyfriend off everywhere, having turned it into somewhat of a game. The team bus. The locker room. Parking lots. Restaurants. Fitting rooms. Movie theaters. Airplanes. Bars. Strip clubs. Ubers. Public bathrooms.

He'd started keeping a list in his phone of all the places he'd jacked Ryan off, and the last time he'd checked it was up to, ironically enough, 47.

So, when Ryan had pushed him away, Hayes had viewed it as a challenge. His persistence finally paid off, as he felt him give in and push his own sweats down over his ass, allowing Hayes to take hold of his stiff cock.

"Mm. Fine, Ty Hayes. You win," Ryan had told him, having reached around and shoved his hand down the front of Hayes's boxers. "Shit, baby. You're so fuckin' big." Ryan began running his hand up and down his length slowly, more tentatively than the way he normally worked him. "That feel good? I wanna make you cum real good, baby."

The two of them lay there jerking each other off, Hayes facing away from him for a bit, until Ryan reached his hand up to Hayes's shoulder, turning him over so that they were face to face.

It had felt so real.

So real that Hayes was afraid to open his eyes for fear that it wouldn't be.

Ryan slid Hayes's boxers down over his thighs, reaching one hand to his boyfriend's cock and his other hand to his own. "I wanna try something with you. Come here," he told Hayes, as he pulled back his foreskin and lined their cocks up tip to tip.

Except that…Ryan didn't have his foreskin.

As that thought crossed his mind, he released his foreskin, pushing it over the tip of Hayes's cock, and began jerking them off together. The warmth of being inside his boyfriend this way, of being so close to him like this, combined with the incredible sensation of the smooth, silky skin that enveloped and massaged his tip, had Hayes seconds away from blowing his load.

And he knew it was gonna be Earth-shattering when he did.

Ryan had been so vocal, too. "Fuck. Oh shit. Oh yeah. Here, gimme your hand, help me. I'm gonna cum so fuckin' hard for you, Ty."

Hayes wrapped his hand around Ryan's as they rubbed their tips together with the slightest movement. Nothing more was needed, as the sensation was so novel and so fucking hot. But that all ended when Hayes finally snapped his eyes open and was met with the sobering reality that he hadn't been dreaming at all.

His cockhead was inside TK's foreskin and TK was coming all over it so violently that it blasted out from all sides of his hand, coating his fingers and palm with his sticky release as he whimpered, wide-eyed, onto Hayes's parted lips.

Tyler Hayes had just gotten high on heroin, passed out for God knows how long, and inadvertently cheated on his boyfriend with Travis Kadin.

The "rock bottom" he'd always heard people talk about?

He was pretty sure this was it.

Having just been seconds away from what would've probably been the most mind-blowing orgasm of his life, he instead found himself running to the bathroom to puke his guts up.

After a few minutes, he heard light tapping against the door frame. "Ty?"

Hayes lowered his forehead onto his arm and rested it against the seat at the sound of TK's voice. "Go away," he mumbled, silently trying to will away the massive boner he still had from being edged.

"I…I can do that. I, uh, just wanted to check on you, make sure you're feelin' OK. And…here," he said, nudging him lightly on the back with a bottle of water. "Make sure you drink lots of fluids."

Hayes didn't move.

"I'll leave. OK? I'm just gonna go get my shit and head out. You call me if you need anything."

As TK turned to leave, Hayes lifted his head. "Wait," he called quietly. "You don't…you don't have to go." He flipped so his back was leaning against the vanity, plunked his head onto it, and exhaled loudly, wiping his mouth with his arm.

TK sat on the floor next to him, careful to keep enough distance as he didn't know where his friend's head was at after what just happened. "OK. I'll stay then."

"I didn't…I didn't mean for that to happen," Hayes cried, tears streaming down his face from his closed eyes.

"I know. And just so you know, I didn't…I mean, you initiated it. I just don't want you to think, like, I…took advantage of you or some shit. I don't…I don't do that shit."

"I thought you were him. I fuckin' swear, man. In my head, it was me and him. We were together again. It was like he never left. And then, all of a sudden, it…wasn't. It wasn't him."

"Um, the dream state gets pretty wild. Like, you're aware of what's going on around you, but your mind interprets it however it wants. Were you trying to talk to Ryan, but couldn't?"

Hayes nodded.

"Yeah, you were babbling and making no sense. I kept trying to talk to you, keep you with me, but you were noddin' pretty hard. The dreams are wild, man, especially that first high."

"And you didn't think to maybe warn a brother?"

TK smirked. "Sorry, man. I didn't expect…all that to happen."

Hayes scoffed. "Yeah, tell me about it."

"I, uh, I definitely didn't hate it though," TK said quietly, picking at his fingers in his lap. "But I get it. You're with him and it can't happen again. It won't, OK?"

"Yeah, well. I doubt we'll be together much longer once he finds this bullshit out. Fuck, Trav. I'm not…I don't cheat. I'm not a cheater. I can't fuckin' believe this happened. I'd die before I hurt Rook. I'd literally choose death."

"Hey?" TK rested a hand tentatively on Hayes's shoulder. "There's nothing for him to find out. Nothing happened, OK? Nothing. Happened." He squeezed and patted him. "Ryan doesn't need to know anything. And I won't say shit. I promise."

"Teek, I have to tell him."

"Why? You think I'm actually worth losing him over?"

Maybe.

"Seriously, baby. You…I mean, you thought it was him. You were high as fuck. Hallucinating. You'd never have done that if you weren't. I know you, Ty Hayes. You love that pretty boy too much. And side note: he's really lucky because holy fuck, you've got a beautiful cock. Like, it should win an award. But seriously: nothing happened. OK?"

Hayes didn't look at him.

"Hey: let me know you understand. Nothing happened. There's nothing Ryan needs to know. It was one little fuck up. You're allowed that, man. You understand?"

Hayes looked up and nodded sadly. "My stomach is fuckin' killin' me."

TK shoved the water bottle toward him. "Drink. I told you, you need to drink, baby."

Uncapping the bottle, Hayes took a few small sips before capping it and setting it down on the floor next to him, fearing that anything he put in would come right back out again. "You, uh…I mean, you ever, like, done that? Before?"

"Done what?"

"You know, with…a guy. Like, what we…fuck, man. Don't make me say it."

"Oh. Right. So, yes and no. Yeah, I've been with a few guys, but it wasn't, uh, consensual. Let's just…leave it at that."

Hayes watched his friend's face drop and noticed him begin to fidget with his hands again. He wanted to know more, wanted to know what had happened to him, who'd hurt him and why, and he wanted to know whose ass he needed to kick.

But, sensing TK's unease, he left it alone.

Hayes was quickly learning that there were two common problems shared by many of the guys in this league: abuse and addiction.

And it didn't seem this league gave so much as half a shit about actually helping any of them fight either.