8. Jay

CHAPTER 8

JAY

Class had just finished for the night, and I was waiting behind the front desk for the students to leave. Ash was one of the first people to come out. He shot me a smile that was too damn dazzling to be throwing around casually like that, but he didn't come over. He made his way to the water fountain we'd installed to allow people to refill their bottles.

I watched as Ash did just that before taking a swig of his water. His Adam's apple bobbled with each gulp. And it was only now that I'd noticed his short hair was a bit damp, probably from the class we'd just had?

Tonight, we had kind of a mixed class that focused on strength and core while incorporating yoga as well. It meant that I had more chances of having my hands on him than previously since it was all new moves that he hadn't done before. It also meant that his warmth kept giving me flashbacks to the other night when he'd come over .

Once.

It was only supposed to be once. And sure, that might have turned into two, then three times, but it was all on the same night, so the same difference, right?

But now an entire day had passed, and sure he'd pulled me into a fucking burning kiss before he'd left yesterday morning, but that had only left me with a raging metaphorical hard-on that had persisted until now. And that wasn't a fun thing, not when visiting family yesterday.

Fucking Ash once was supposed to get him out of my system, and all it had actually accomplished was the fucking exact opposite. The man was addicting as hell. And maybe it was wrong, but I didn't know if I wanted to be cured of this addiction.

"What are you looking at?"

A weight landed on me. I cursed at the sudden surprise as I turned to find my best friend watching me curiously. His gaze flicked to the direction that I'd been staring at seconds earlier. He turned back to me with a sly smile, one that said that nothing escaped him.

"You totally fucked him."

"Hush!" I quickly covered his mouth and glanced over to make sure Ash hadn't heard. Thankfully, he was focused on his phone and looking none the wiser. "God, do you want the whole world to know?"

He mumbled something that I didn't catch. "What?" I asked, and he repeated what he'd said, but I still didn't understand. Finally, he rolled his eyes and pointed to my hand that was currently still covering his mouth. "Oh, right. Sorry." I was totally distracted that I'd completely forgotten about that. Though, it might be safer to just keep his mouth covered, because who knew what he'd blurt out?

He made a dramatic gasp for air when my hands dropped, and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at his exaggerated action. "I said, what happened to violating the bro code, huh? Hello, your little bro's best friend?"

I groaned, already regretting setting his mouth free. He was voicing the problems that had been swirling in my mind since Ash and I had slept together. I didn't have an answer for myself then, and now that Sam asked them out loud and was expecting an answer, I still didn't have one.

"Can we not talk about someone who's two feet away from us?" I gritted out.

"Fine," he replied a bit petulantly, but then shot me a large smile. "This calls for drinks tonight. Apparently, there's so much you're hiding from me—your bestest friend in this whole entire world—and I can complain about the horrible date I went on the other night."

"Shit, it was that bad? And you were so excited about it too," I said, my tone softening. Sam might act like this confident super human that never got hurt, but I knew he was more in touch with his emotions than most. He usually chose to hide his vulnerable side behind his mask, but I was proud to know I was one of the few people he trusted enough to share his struggles with.

"Ugh, I need a couple drinks in me before going down that rabbit hole. I know we have work tomorrow, but a few drinks won't hurt, right?" He made it sound like a joke, but I knew this date had gotten to him more than he wanted to let on.

I rubbed his shoulders to comfort him and said, "Hey, you can take the day off tomorrow if you want. I'll be okay for one day. Actually, you should take the day off. You've been working the same crazy hours as me without a break for so long. I think it's time I really buckled down and looked for another employee to help us out."

"You're not trying to get rid of me, are you?" he said with a frown, which only had me laughing as I pulled him into a tight hug.

"Get rid of you? Never. I'm afraid you're stuck with me for life." My words had him laughing too as he returned my hug. We clung to each other like that for a few minutes. It was nice. We used to give each other hugs all the time in college. With both of us being alone in Houston without any family, it was reassuring to know we had each other. But with how busy things had been recently, we hadn't hugged in a while. Maybe both of us needed this comfort more than we thought.

A throat cleared, which had us pulling apart. "Am I interrupting something?"

Sam looked all casual as he eyed Ash up and down, then hung an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. "Not at all," he said with a huge grin to the towering man. I was almost pulled down by the sheer force Sam used on me, nearly causing me to trip, but I hadn't missed the bulging vein that appeared on Ash's neck.

He looked—dare I assume—jealous. The idea that Ash would get jealous over my best friend should have been hilarious, but there was nothing funny about the sudden fluttering in my heart. Nor the way it started thumping harder against my chest when Ash bore his dark eyes on me. The jealousy in them was clearer now, as was the unbridled lust in the way he looked at me.

Ash let his eyes linger on me for another second before tearing them away and saying, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow night, then?"

I was still choked up. Sam still had me by the shoulder, and his smaller stature meant I was half-leaning down to meet his height. "Yeah, see you," I managed to get out. Ash shot me a smile and a quick glance at Sam before leaving.

"Holy hell?—"

The rest of the class suddenly shot out of the room together as if it had been coordinated, causing Sam to not finish his sentence. I knew he wouldn't keep his mouth shut for long, though. And as expected, an hour later when we'd finished closing the studio and found ourselves at Bathtubs and Blossoms—a queer-friendly local bar and restaurant—Sam finally finished his thought.

"Was I the only one who felt the heat in that room? I'm getting hot just remembering it," he said, fanning himself with his hand.

We sat by the bar, and a face Irecognized came over to deliver our drinks. Chester Monroe was the owner of this establishment. He was also dating Garrett Stevens, the Troopers' punter.

I hadn't been lying when I told Ash I'd been keeping tabs on his team. Football wasn't my thing—it had never been—but I knew how important it was to my brother and Ash. There had been countless nights in our living room where I'd overheard those two just imagining their future, living their dream of playing football. And while Howie never went pro, he was still clinging on to his love of football and had become the high school gym teacher and coach to his school's football team.

Ash had made it, though, and while I hadn't physically been there, I still supported him by watching his games and keeping up with the latest news regarding his team.

Chester told us to enjoy ourselves before turning around to take care of the other guests. Sam watched him go, licking his lips as he said, "Damn, now that's one fine man. I'd take him to bed any day."

I chuckled and gave him a nudge on the shoulder. "I guess you're not so heartbroken that you need a break from men," I commented, taking a sip of my white wine. I was happy Chester had distracted Sam from questioning me about Ash any further because I still didn't have any answers for him. Hell, I didn't even have answers for myself .

"Me? Heartbroken over that loser? Puh-lease," he said. The disgust was clear in his voice. He chugged down the Long Island Iced Tea he'd ordered, then slammed the glass back on the table. Sam had a high alcohol tolerance, but to chug down a mixed drink as strong as that one, I knew it was going to be one of those nights.

"Uh-oh, it was that bad, huh?" I asked. Sam waved down one of the bartenders and ordered another drink. I ordered some appetizers to get some food into him before the alcohol went straight to his head.

"He was married."

"What?"

"That fucker was married," Sam repeated, sounding angrier by the second. "He's married—to a woman, I might add—and was on a dating app to find a man. The poor lady somehow found out about the date and came to the restaurant to confront him."

"Shut up. No way!" I said with a gasp. I'd only heard of dramas like that on TV. I never thought things like this happened in real life.

"Yes, way," Sam confirmed with a nod. "AND the fucker had the nerve to lie and say we were having a business meeting and that I wasone-sidedly putting the moves on him !"

"Wow, what the fuck is wrong with people these days? I hope the wife leaves that bastard."

Sam hummed in agreement.

The bartender came back with his drink, which he immediately tried to chug again. "Whoa, let's slow down there. The night's still young," I said, quickly stopping him.

"I'm gonna die alone forever!" he suddenly grumbled. "And maybe that's not a bad thing, considering all these horrible dates I've been on recently."

"Hey, you're not going to be alone," I comforted him. "Plus, you'll always have me."

He grunted, which I took as his saying he'd heard me and acknowledged that he'd always have me on his side. He used the straw to stir at his drink and stared at it, lost in thought.

"So what happened after the wife caught the cheater?" I asked, nudging him in the shoulder to get his attention.

"You should have seen it. The wife pulled him out of the restaurant— by the ear! " Sam said, chuckling as if recalling the memory. "Can you imagine! A grown-ass man being pulled out of the restaurant by a woman half his size by the ear, no less. And with everyone in the restaurant watching as well." As soon as he finished his words, he slumped down into his seat again. "The restaurant staff saw how pathetic I was with my mouth hanging open during the entire ordeal and took pity on me by comping my drinks. They felt so sorry for me, they even gave me a free cake. It was a damn good cake, too!"

"You're not pathetic, Sam. You've just been unlucky recently. You're one of the best people I know, and you'll find someone deserving of you," I insisted, meaning every word I said. Sam gave his all to people he cared about—his decision to move to Austin just to help me, for example—and he deserved to find someone who would give him their all.

"All I want is someone who looks at me the way Ash looks at you. Is that too much to ask for?" he said with a huff. He rested his cheek on his hand, facing me.

My heart stopped for a second at his comment. I knew I shouldn't ask, not when Sam's attention had finally been directed away from Ash, but I needed to know how someone on the outside thought Ash looked at me.

"And how does he look at me?" I asked, bringing my drink to my mouth, trying to act like it was just a simple, casual question despite how hard I was straining my ears, anxiously waiting for an answer.

It didn't work, if the smirk Sam shot me was anything to go by. "How, indeed?" he said and grabbed a fry from the basket the bartender had just dropped off. He started munching on them, but his eyes stayed on me.

"Saaam," I whined. It was probably unbecoming of me to whine at twenty-eight, but this was Sam and what was a little whining between best friends?

"Jaaay." Sam copied my tone exactly, which only earned a glare from me.

"You're being such a prick. You can't just leave me hanging like that."

He picked up another fry and pointed it at me. "My lips are sealed until you tell me about all this tension between the two of you. No leaving out any details either!"

I grumbled and started chomping on the fries as well. "Well?" he prompted when I continued to stuff my face instead of answering him.

"Fine. We slept together. Are you happy now?" I blurted out. I was never going to keep that a secret from Sam, but it annoyed me how he was always right about these things. Sam laughed with glee and pulled me in by the shoulder.

"Finally! Now was that so hard?" he said with a laugh. I opened my mouth to spout curses at him, but like the little mind reader he was, he stuffed a fry into my mouth before I could. "Okay, tell me everything. How did it happen? When did it happen! Oh, I know! It was the other night when I left early for the date, wasn't it? You probably invited him over to your place to chat, and one thing led to another…"

"Why are you asking if you already know everything?" I grumbled and finished my wine. I waved the bartender over for some water for both of us. I drove us here, and by the way Sam had already finished his second Long Island Iced Tea and had ordered a third, getting more water into him wasn't a bad idea.

"So are you two an item now?"

"No, it was just a one-time thing," I insisted, but I couldn't look him in the eye, because even though I was the idiot who had laid those rules onto Ash, I wanted another taste of him.

Sam hummed, though I could still feel the thousand watt grin he was pointing my way. "Didn't you want to vent about your nightmare date? Let's go back to talking about that."

"I thought you wanted to know how your little football player looks at you?" That shut me up as fast as a train wreck. I shot him puppy-dog eyes, hoping he'd take pity on me and put me out of my misery already. He stared me down, then sighed dramatically. "Fine, even though you offered up nothing , being the bigger person that I am, I'll tell you."

Before I knew it, I found myself unconsciously leaning in closer to hear him. Sam saw my actions and let out the smuggest smirk I'd ever seen, but he didn't tease me as I thought he would. "He looks at you like you're the only person to exist. Hell, I doubt he even notices I'm there half the time, well, except for when he's getting jealous over me because we're stuck together like glue."

I had kind of expected some form of this answer, but I wasn't prepared for what hearing it said out loud would actually do to me. It was clear as day that he wanted me, but what if this was all just an obsession born from our youth? Was it worth breaking bonds for something that was never destined to last?

I didn't know. The only thing I did know was that, god, I wanted him. Maybe as much as he seemed to want me. And was it so wrong to indulge ourselves a bit as long as we didn't get too attached?