12. Ash

CHAPTER 12

ASH

I hadn't known how much to tell Jay. I didn't want to share the depth of my feelings for him and scare him away when he'd finally agreed to give this thing between us a real chance. Well, he hadn't said it in so many words, but he hadn't denied the connection that was so obviously there. I figured we'd iron everything out just as soon as I asked him out on a proper date, which I was going to do sooner rather than later—ideas of a potential date spot had already popped into my mind.

So I let the conversation end there and pulled Jay to start clearing out the boxes he said he had piled up. He was surprised when he realized I'd been serious about cleaning and had reluctantly shown me to one of the rooms I hadn't been in before.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said it was jam-packed with boxes," I said with a whistle of shock at the crowded space. Jay said this room was about the same size as the one we usually took our class in, but I couldn't currently tell, considering there was barely enough room for the both of us to stand inside of it.

I opened the box closest to me and found it filled with foam blocks, like the ones we'd used during class. "Don't tell me all the boxes are filled with blocks."

"Of course not. Most of the boxes are my personal stuff. It was just easier to move everything here with the moving truck. I was slowly gonna move it home, one box at a time, but I guess I had a lot more stuff than I realized," he said. He turned to open the box closest to him and pulled out a worn-out football.

"Is that…" I leaned in to take a closer look to verify that it was exactly what I thought it was. "Wow, you kept this?" He handed the football to me, and I flipped it around to find my name messily scrawled in sharpie on one side. Howie's signature was neatly printed on the other.

Howie and I signed it on high school graduation day, mostly as a joke, saying that we'd both get famous one day and needed to practice signing balls. Jay had been right beside us, laughing and teasing us about our antics, and he'd been the one to take the ball in the end. That was also the last time the three of us hung out together.

"There's no way I would've gotten rid of this. The last football you played with in high school? This is probably worth a fortune now, though Howie's writing might have lowered its value a bit," he said jokingly .

"What else do you have in there?" I asked and scooted beside him to take out the next find, placing it on an empty surface. It was more memorabilia, the souvenirs he had displayed back in his childhood room. It was no wonder I hadn't seen any of it when I visited his place last time: it was still all in boxes.

Jay shoved me aside and started putting back the items I took out. "I thought we were supposed to clean up, not make more of a mess," he grumbled, which only had me chuckling.

"So you never did tell me why you never traveled, even if it was just outside of Texas," I asked as I watched him fold the lid of the box over each other so it stayed closed.

"I don't know. I guess it just never worked out," Jay said with a shrug.

"Hey, that's not fair now," I said and lightly flicked his forehead. "You said we had to be honest with each other."

"You ever heard of ‘ do as I say not as I do? '" His huge grin made it seem like he was oblivious to the daggers I was currently shooting at him. Eventually, though, he sighed and took on a more serious attitude. "Honestly, I'm scared."

"Scared?" I asked, not expecting his answer.

"I guess I'm scared I hyped up other places so much that it'll all just be a disappointment once I actually visit, and then I'd wonder what the point was. So instead, I just hide here in the familiar," he said with another shrug, then added, "Maybe I'm just a coward. "

"Now that's the furthest thing from the truth. A coward wouldn't have all of this," I said and waved my hand in the air.

He smirked. "A room full of boxes?"

"No," I said with a hint of frustration. I should have seen the tease coming, considering I hadn't been specific. "I mean the studio. Someone who's afraid wouldn't have started their own business."

"I had help." He shrugged again, and this time I really had the urge to grab his shoulders so he couldn't do that anymore. Maybe shake him a little until my words reached him.

"You have so much confidence in me, so I hate that you're downplaying yourself like this. You have to know that it takes a little more than just a little help to get all of this going, and not only that, but succeeding . Your classes are always fully booked. All your students love you. That's all because of you and nobody else. It's normal to be afraid of disappointment, especially when it's something you've wanted for so long, but that does not mean you're a coward."

He'd talked me up when I was doubting everything that I'd known twice now—once when I'd started high school and again today—so it was only fair that I helped him see his strength when he couldn't. While Jay hadn't said anything profound to me that day on the bleachers, he'd reminded me of the reason I played the sport.

You look so free on that field, like you found your wings.

It was just one of the sentences he'd said amidst all the other praise that was probably nonsensical and it was clear he didn't even remember saying it, but it had struck a chord with me.

On that field, I'd found a sense of freedom I didn't know how to live without, and it was that reminder that gave me courage to shift through the sad memories I had of football and my dad to get deep into the love I had for the game. Talking with him today once again reminded me of that. I loved football. That was an undeniable fact. It fueled my soul, and I knew I could never remove myself from the game. Though, I was having second doubts about how the game fit into my life.

Jay watched me for what felt like a minute. It was obvious my words had surprised him, but the surprise was quickly replaced with a warmth that lit up his eyes. I swore my breath stopped there, and I probably would have kept staring at him, forgetting to breathe, if the touch of his lips hadn't shocked the air back into my lungs.

He kissed the breath back into me so gently that it only made the need for him grow. I drew him in for a deeper taste but was disappointed when he'd pulled back so that only our foreheads touched.

"Were you really serious about moving all these boxes tonight?" he breathed inches from my lips. His comment had me laughing and feeling so light as I took a step back from him.

"C'mon, when else are you gonna have a big, strong football player to help you lift all the heavy boxes?" I winked and raised my arms and flexed my muscles. He didn't look amused as he came in closer and poked at said muscles before closing the distance between us again to brush his finger against my ear.

"I much rather you put those muscles to use in a different way. In my bed, perhaps?" The way he purred out the words had me shivering in need, but I quickly shook it off. I knew what he was trying to do, but his seduction wouldn't get him out of this. There was plenty of time for that later.

"C'mon, get your cute little butt moving. Didn't you say you're looking into hiring another instructor? That means you're gonna need this room soon. Plus, if we move all the boxes to your place tonight, we can spend your day off tomorrow unpacking everything."

"Wait, wait. You didn't say anything about hijacking my day off to unpack ." The distaste at the action was clear in his tone. He glared at me and crossed his arms in defiance. "Besides, who says I'm free tomorrow, or that you're even welcome to come over, because like hell you're staying over after torturing me with physical labor."

I stayed silent and just feasted my eyes on the cute little pout he had going on to show how much he didn't want to do this. My staring must have fazed him because he suddenly threw his hands up in the air and grumbled, "Fine! You can stay the night, but only because you said I had a cute butt."

I laughed louder, watching as he bent over to pick up a box. With the sexy sight in front of me, I would have needed to be a saint to resist giving him a light smack.

He yelped and looked over his shoulder to glare at me. "It wasn't my bright idea to get all sweaty out of bed. If I had it my way, you would've gotten a piece of my ass already, but since you decided this was more fun, that means none of this "—he shook his butt—"for you."

Grinning, I placed my hands on his hips and shuffled closer until my cock was nestled between his butt cheeks. I knew he could feel the semi I was sporting by the way he shivered. I kissed up the back of his neck and nibbled on the tip of his ear. "Wouldn't it be satisfying to have a nice, hard reward after all this work? I promise to make it worthwhile."

Another shiver passed through his body, and I knew I had him.