19. Holden

19

HOLDEN

My teammates are passing the beers around that they brought. There’s a baseball game on the television, and everyone is talking at once. I’m smiling, nodding my head, and trying to act like I’m part of the conversation when in reality all I want is to kick them all out and go back to Cat.

Fuck, she’s everything, and I’m so consumed by the idea that I’m going to fuck this up that it has me stressed out. I’ve never been in this position before. I’m usually a fuck em’ and walk away kind of guy. Not that I mislead anyone because I always make sure the girl knows what’s up. But Cat is different. I want more with her, and she’s the one that is keeping her guard up.

A pillow from the couch comes careening toward my face, and I catch it at the last second. “Gray. Earth to Gray. You listening to us?”

I toss the pillow back at Foreman, our second baseman. “Yeah, I’m listening. What’s up?”

He is smiling, but the intensity in his face tells me that his question is serious. “You going to be back for the playoffs?”

A smirk is frozen on my face, not wanting to show any doubts or my insecurities. Instead of answering his question, I ask one of my own. “The question is are you guys going to get us to the playoffs?”

“Hell yeah!”

“Fuck yeah!”

“We got this in the bag!”

After the guys all chime in, they stare at me, waiting for my answer. I want to lay it all out for them and tell them everything I’m thinking about coming back and this being my retirement year, but these guys don’t want to hear it. They want to hear that I’m going to help them clinch the winning spot. “Yeah, I’ll be ready by then.”

Yates and Carter go back to watching the game, but Foreman’s eyes are glued on me. “We need you on the field, Gray. ”

I shrug. “I know, but Mitchell is doing a good job.”

I’ve watched the guy standing in for me to catch in the games, and he doesn’t have the same game as I do, but I’ve also been doing this a lot longer. He doesn’t frame it like me, and at times, I’ve thought he’s been a little lazy behind the plate, but he’s getting the job done.

“He’s getting by, but he’s not you. When you’re on the field, the whole dynamic changes. The team respects you. When you’re behind the plate, you call the game, and we need that.” He leans in and half-whispers, “I know you’ve been watching the games. We’re barely holding our shit together.”

He’s being completely serious, and worry is etched on his face. I’m nodding my head at him, wanting him to know the truth. “You’re right, Foreman, when I’m out there, I call the game but it’s not because I’m behind the plate. Yeah, of course it helps, but you can do it from second base too. Be a leader. Take control and communicate with your team. Let them know what’s expected of them and keep them accountable. That’s all I did, and maybe you all listened to me because I’ve been doing this so long but yeah, I’ve been watching the games, and you all just need someone to stand up and take charge… That’s it.”

He lifts his shoulder in a half-shrug. “It’s worth a shot. Something has to change.”

I give him an encouraging nod. “Do it. The team needs you to step up, Foreman.”

He leans back in his chair, and it’s obvious his mind is going a thousand miles a minute. I know exactly what he’s feeling. He has the weight of the team on him, and he takes that feeling seriously. I’m about to offer more encouragement when Cat walks in the room, and all eyes are on her.

Almost instantly, her eyes land on me, and she doesn’t look anywhere else. “Hey there, sorry to interrupt, I was just letting you know I’m going to go to Cole’s practice. I’ll be back soon.”

She’s freshly showered, and besides a gloss to her lips, she’s makeup free. She looks beautiful, and I’m not the only one that thinks so.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa… who is this?”

Carter stands up and with his hand held out, walks across the room toward Cat. I’m up in an instant and move to fit between them. Cat looks between me and Carter. “Uh, hi, I’m Catherine Maples, and I’m Holden’s physical therapist.”

I give her a look. Of course she’s going to introduce herself as my therapist. I’m not sure why I expected—or hoped—for anything else.

Carter shakes Cat’s hand and holds on to it a little too long. “Catherine Maples, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Josh Carter.”

I move next to Cat, forcing Carter to drop his hold on her. “Cat, this is Yates and Foreman.”

She gives them a little wave, and I put my hand at her waist. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

I’m rushing her out the door and don’t stop until we’re next to her car. She’s laughing, holding her hands up. “Okay, okay, we’re out. Geez, Holden, what’s up with you? Did you think I’d embarrass you or something?”

She says it lightheartedly, but the way she’s looking away from me instead of at me, I can see that she’s bothered by the whole idea of it. I put my hand on her chin and force her to look at me and tell her point blank, “No, I’m not worried about you embarrassing me. If you stayed in there another second, with Carter's hands on you, I was going to embarrass myself. I don’t like other men touching you… and just so you know, I would never have introduced you as my therapist.”

Her mouth drops, and her hand goes to her chest. “Oh my goodness, Holden. I wasn’t thinking. Maybe you don’t want people to know…”

I let my hand slide from her chin to the side of her neck, and I hold on to her as I move closer until our bodies are touching. “What? You think I don’t want people to know I’m going to physical therapy? Hell, the whole fuckin’ world knows that… no, I meant that I wouldn’t have introduced you as my therapist… I would have introduced you as mine.”

She lets out a small gasp. “Yours?”

I nod and lean down until my lips are almost touching hers. “Yep, mine. You may be fighting it, but you’re going to be mine, Cat.”

She takes in a shaky breath, and I can’t hold back any longer. I press my lips to hers, and it’s only when I feel her arms circle around me and her fingers dig into my skin that I let myself go and show her exactly how much I want to claim her.

There’s a car horn that goes off somewhere in the neighborhood, and I reluctantly pull back. “Don’t go. I’ll get rid of the guys and—”

She cuts me off. “I have to go… Cole’s practicing and—”

“I’ll tell them I have to leave and I’ll go with you.”

She shakes her head, smiling. “No, you need to spend some time with your teammates. I know you’re missing the game, Holden. Go in there and talk to them. I’m picking up dinner, can I bring something for everyone?”

I grumble, and it’s then I know I’m losing it. Even the thought of her doing something—even as little as bringing food home—for another man makes me crazy. “Nope, they’ll be gone by then. I’ll grab me, you, and Cole food. I want to hear about his practice anyway.”

“Holden… I can buy dinner.”

I run my finger across her now swollen lip. “Not when you’re with me, Cat.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fine. We’ll be home around seven. Now go and enjoy being with your teammates and tell them to get their game together. I can’t do another nine innings of sitting on the edge of my seat. They barely squeaked out that last win.”

“I’ll tell them.”

I kiss her again and stand in the driveway waving at her until she pulls out. I have a whole new fire under me. It’s only now, after hearing her talk, that makes me want to be on that field and her cheering for me. I want that… I want to look up into the stands and see her and Cole and know th ey’re there for me. As I make my way back inside, I’m determined to light a fire under my teammates because one way or another, they’re getting to the playoffs, and I’m going to make sure I’m there to play.