18. Catherine

18

CATHERINE

Already, this is affecting my job.

I’m not sure if it’s the sexual chemistry, the anticipation, or the way Holden is looking at me like he’s going to bend me over and take me, but I’m completely off kilter from all of it. I keep telling myself to keep it together and focus on the job, but that’s a little harder now knowing that in just a few hours, I can be making out with the sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on.

“All right, again.”

Holden has his hands on his head, sucking in deep breaths. “You’re fuckin’ killing me today, Cat.”

Damn it. Am I being harder on him now? Shit, see, I can’t do this. All this cooped-up physical energy is making me crazy. I’m overthinking things, questioning the whole workout now, and Holden puts his hands on his hips. “You’re thinking too hard, Cat. You’re not being too hard on me.”

“How did you—”

He comes over and puts his finger on my forehead and draws a line down it. “Because you’re all scrunched up here, and you do that when you’re worried about something.”

I cross my arms over my traitorous chest. Just being near Holden and him innocently touching me has my body reacting. “Get back to work, Gray.”

He holds his hands up and chuckles. “Got it. I’ll listen to what you tell me to do, honey, but just know in the bedroom, I like to be the one in charge.”

I suck in a breath, and it’s like I’ve been hit right in the stomach. The images that come to mind are too much, and I have to shake my head to clear it. “Come on, I’ll run it with you.”

I take off running, and he falls in step beside me. The rest of the workout is uneventful, and I’m thankful that he keeps it professional. I’m weak when it comes to Holden, and I could easily see myself giving in to him without a lot of pressure.

We get back to the house, eat, shower separately, and then we meet back in the therapy room and do more bands for recovery.

“How’s it feel?”

He rolls his shoulder to test it out. “It feels perfect.”

I take a deep breath. “Okay, let me massage it and then we’ll be done for the day.”

I wanted to make sure we don’t cut therapy time short and it looks like we’re going to actually go over a little bit. I put the ointment on my hands and then start on his shoulder. The way he groans has my stomach pulled tight, and I can’t help but wonder what he sounds like in bed.

I have to force my mind elsewhere or else he’s going to know exactly what I’m thinking. I work the muscles in his arm, and we’re both silent while I work. When I can’t stand the quiet a second more, I ask him, “What do you have planned for the rest of the day?”

Shit. That is the wrong question to ask when I’m trying to get my mind off of things. Instead of answering me, he asks his own question. “Are we done here, Cat?”

I grab a towel and wipe off his arm. “Yeah, we’re done. ”

I’m turning away from him when he wraps his hand around my arm. “Stay.”

I take a deep breath and turn around to look at him. I want this, but I didn’t expect it to happen quite like this.

“Lie down.”

I look at the therapy bed he’s getting up from and I point at it. “You want to do it here?”

He pulls me against him, and his hand goes to my waist. I’m not a small woman, but the way he touches me makes me feel almost dainty and protected. “Fuck, Cat. All I’ve thought about is getting inside you, but I’m not going to bend you over a table and fuck you—”

He stops talking, and his eyebrows raise as he takes in my reaction. My heart is racing and my breath is coming in little pants. Just the thought of him bending me over the table has me wet with arousal. He leans down and kisses my forehead as I try to suck a breath into my lungs. “You like that, don’t you? You want me to fuck you on this table, Cat?”

All I can do is blink up at him. My nipples are hard, and with every breath I take, I feel them graze against his chest. His voice is husky, and his hot breath hits my ear as he whispers, “My plan is to fuck you in every room of this house, Cat. But right now, I want to make you feel good. Get up there.”

He pats the therapy bed, and I look between it and him.

He laughs, puts his hands at my waist, and lifts me up on the bed. “Lie down on your stomach.”

I open my mouth to argue with him, and he shakes his head. “Lie down, Cat. Let me take care of you for once.”

I reluctantly move to lie down on my stomach. “But I don’t need—”

He puts his palm on the small of my back and pushes me until I’m lying flat on the bed. “You’re always taking care of me, let me make you feel good.”

As soon as his hands smooth across my back, I realize this is a bad idea. The satisfied groan leaves my mouth before I can stop it, and I bite my lip to hold back anything else that may come out. He pats me on the back. “Take your shirt off.”

I flip my head around to look at him. “What?”

The look in his eyes is a challenge if I’ve ever seen one. “Take your shirt—and your bra—off.”

“Holden, I don’t think—”

He cuts me off. “That’s exactly right. I don’t want you to think. Do it, Cat. Take your shirt off. I dare you.”

Now I’m usually level-headed and don’t succumb to dares and games, but right now, I don’t want to resist him. I don’t want to be level-headed and responsible. I roll to my back and pull my shirt up over my head and drop it to the floor. My eyes meet Holden’s, and his brown eyes are practically black as he stares back at me.

I give him a smirk and roll back to my stomach, unclasp my bra, take it off, and drop it on top of my shirt, the whole time concealing my breasts from him. He groans and swats me on the ass. “Fine, but it’s not like I won’t be seeing them later.”

Instantly, my lower belly pulls and anticipation builds as I think about what may happen later.

He warms the massage lotion in his hands, and as soon as he touches me, my whole body is tense. He rubs up and down my back in long, firm strokes. “That feels amazing,” I moan.

We’re both quiet as he glides his hands across me. I’m doing my best to just lie here when what I want to do is roll over and pull him on top of me. I groan and clench my eyes closed, trying to get myself under control.

“You okay? ”

I’m tight-lipped and mutter, “Yeah, it’s just hard lying here with your hands on me.”

He grunts. “Now you know how I feel.”

I open my eyes and stare at the floor. “What do you mean?”

His hands pause for a minute and then pick up again. “Do you have any idea how hard it has been for me to have your hands on me knowing I can’t do anything about it? You drive me crazy, Cat.”

“I didn’t know… I just thought…”

I let my voice trail off because I don’t want to admit to him that I thought I was the only one affected by it. I thought when he talked about it the one time, it was just a natural reaction to stimuli… not that it was because he wanted me. I’ve done my best to keep things professional even though I’ve been going crazy on the inside. But this whole time, I thought it was one-sided.

His hands feel so good on me, and when I'm pretty sure my body is going to burst into flames, he gruffly says, “Roll over, Cat.”

I lift my head with a jerk. “But…”

“I want to see you.”

I suck in a breath and roll over to my back. My plan is to avoid his gaze, but when he groans, my eyes fly to his. “Damn, Cat. You’re fucking breathtaking.”

His hand comes up, and he grazes the back of his hand along the side of my full breast. My nipples pucker, and I hold my breath and bite my lip to hold back my whimper.

Holden’s breath quickens. “I need to touch you.”

I give one simple nod, and he palms my breast, kneading my full flesh in his hands. It’s like a shock to my system, and my back arches off the table, pressing myself fully into his hands.

He groans, hovering over me. “Kiss me,” he demands.

I jut my chin at him with a challenge. “You kiss me.”

He wastes no time in pressing his lips to mine. He groans against my lips. “Let me in, Cat.”

As soon as my lips part, he takes full advantage. His tongue slides along mine, and I moan at the contact. It’s like I can feel him everywhere as he ravages my mouth and rolls my nipple between his fingers. My hands come up, and I wrap them around his neck, holding him to me. Now that he’s started, I don’t want him to stop. When he pulls away, he doesn’t go far. He kisses along my neck and collarbone, and when he suckles my nipple into his mouth, I throw my head back in ecstasy. “Yes.”

He palms one breast while suckling the other, and I rub my legs together to create the friction that I need. “Holden… please,” I beg of him.

“What do you need, baby? Tell me what you want.”

“You. I want you,” I tell him as I lift my hips up, needing to feel his touch at my core. His hands slide down my waist and across my belly, and he palms my pussy. My hips jerk, and I lift up, pressing into his touch.

He lifts his head to look into my eyes. “You’re wet, aren’t you, baby?”

I nod my head, and he brings the heel of his hand against my swollen clit. I grab on to his forearm because even through my clothes it feels so good. “Please…”

I start to plead with him, but the shrill of the doorbell chiming through the house slams me back to reality. I practically jump off the bed, grab my shirt, and pull it to my chest. “Oh my God,” I exclaim as I stare at Holden. What am I doing? What am I thinking? I can’t do this… it’s wrong on so many levels.

“I gotta go.” I turn on my heel, ready to escape to my room. I get up the stairs and to my bedroom door when I realize that Holden is right behind me. I turn to look at him, putting my hand on his chest. He’s put his shirt back on, but it doesn’t matter. His body is permanently etched into my mind by now.

“Cat, wait.”

I pull my hand back because even touching him is too much for my senses right now. “I can’t… we can’t….” I stutter.

He puts his hands to my hips. “I’ll get rid of whoever it is and we can—”

I shake my head side to side. “No…” The doorbell rings again, and I try to push him out of my room. “Go get the door, Holden.”

He’s not in any hurry. “If they want to see me, they’ll wait. We’re not done here.”

His phone rings, and he pulls it from the pocket of his shorts. “What?” he grunts.

There’s a pause. “Yeah, hang out. Give me five minutes.”

He ends the call and shakes his head. “That’s Jerry…” He runs his hands through his hair. “He’s pissed because I’ve been avoiding his call.”

I point toward the front of the house. “Well, go let him in. We can talk about this later.”

He doesn’t budge an inch. “No, I’m not moving from this spot until I know you’re not going to run from me.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “This was a mistake.”

He grips my waist and slams me against his body. His hard manhood prods against my belly, and my body reacts by curling into him. He pulls me in like a magnet, and even if I wanted to, I couldn’t walk away from him. “Listen to me, Cat. This is not a mistake. Everything between us is so right… don’t say it’s a mistake.”

The doorbell rings three more times in quick succession. “Holden.” I give him my stern voice, the same one I use on Cole when he’s not listening to something I say, but it doesn’t have the same effect on Holden.

He leans in and kisses me until I’m breathless. This is not like the other kisses. It’s like he has something to prove, and he doesn’t stop until I have my arms wrapped around him, holding on to him for dear life. The shirt that I’m still holding to my chest has fallen, and my erect nipples are scraping against the material of his shirt. When he pulls away, he’s smirking. “Fuck, everything about this is perfect, Cat. This is happening.”

As I search his eyes, I know there’s no way I can resist him. I give him another shove and pant, “Go answer the door.”

He’s watching me closely. “Not until you tell me that this is not a mistake.”

His lips are swollen, and I know mine look the same. “This is not a mistake.”

His smile is instant. He kisses me again, just a quick peck. “All right, I’m going to go talk to the guys. I’ll be back.”

He takes a step away and then looks back at me. It’s then I realize I’m still just standing here with my shirt at my feet. He looks me up and down like he could devour me. “Cover up, sweet Cat. If my friends see you like that, I’d have to gouge their eyes out.”

My hand tightens on the door as he looks at me with possession in his eyes. I should hate it, but if anything, it makes me want him more, and before I can stop myself, I lift my chin at him and drop my arms to my side. “You’re the only one I want looking—or touching—me, Holden.”

He groans, shaking his head. “I can make them go away and we can continue this.”

I step back into the room. “Nope, you go. We can do this later.”

He doesn’t budge, though, and I know I’m going to have to be the one to put an end to this. His phone starts to ring again, and I smile. “Go. We’ll talk about this later.”

I shut the door before he can respond, and as I lean my back against the hardwood, I try to act like this is not a big deal and that I can handle a little fun with Holden without getting too attached.