CHAPTER NINETEEN

IDON'TSLEEPWELL. Dain brings Lukas early in the morning for me to feed him, then takes him to change and dress. Now they're engrossed in one of their endless nonsensical conversations. Dain's chattier with his son than anyone and I can hardly bear to look at them. Lukas is the sweetest thing I've ever seen while Dain's the sexiest. My heart twists at the joy they've found in each other. I don't want anything to come between them or to damage the relationship now building between them. Especially not me.

I leave the room and go to shower, still processing what I witnessed last night. It was a revelation. I don't think I was any help—sometimes families suck—I wince at my tragic attempt at comfort. But it's true, right? And wouldn't it be good to pick your own? If I could choose, I'd keep both these guys so close.

But Dain doesn't want that and after last night I really understand why. Dinner with his parents was worse than he prepared me for. He diverted conversation. Distracted. Deflected. He worked so hard I was exhausted just watching him. They were sad, selfish people who complained and contradicted each other from the moment they arrived. Over who got to hold Lukas first even—over everything. The constant point-scoring shocked me. Ultimately they just want things from Dain—money most especially. He's never been valued for himself. No wonder he doesn't trust anyone.

He was still charming to them, but I saw glimpses of a child desperate to please, to placate, to make everything better and bring peace to his world. I get it, I'm the same. I'm only capable and efficient because I had to be. But Ava loves me, and Romy supported me, and Dain himself has been wonderful to me. But he didn't have that. No wonder his relationship with his family is fractured. No wonder he fiercely guards his privacy. No wonder he fights hard to retain control over everything in his life.

I realise now that he has walls that I can't breach. And even though I know they're awful people, their judgement of me was obvious. It doesn't just hurt. It makes me nervous. I know he and I have some things in common—lust for each other especially—but not enough of the right things.

I don't know that I can exist in his world. If I were on the staff, sure—but as his supposed equal?

‘Want to come on an adventure with me?' Dain asks the second I walk into the living room.

‘An adventure? Where?' Just like that I'm diverted.

He smiles at my immediate interest. ‘You and me, only for a couple of hours. Lukas will be better off here than where we're going.'

Of course I can't resist. I kiss Lukas and leave him with the nanny. Dain guides me to the garage on the edge of his property. I've not been in there yet, and in the doorway I stop and blink. There are several cars lined up neatly inside. All of them are very fancy.

‘You have a collection?' I tease.

‘Only a little one. Of only the best ones.' He flashes a smile. ‘Don't hold it against me.'

I don't. I chuckle. We have a very different attitude to things—I don't collect, he does. But now it's only things he truly appreciates. And I can appreciate that quirk of his today because the sleek two-seater convertible sports car he selects has heated leather seats and it's sheer luxurious fun to cruise with the top down and feel the wind in my hair.

It's so early there's surprisingly little traffic and we arrive at a marina in no time. An astonishing array of boats gleams on the pristine blue water.

Butterflies flutter in my belly. ‘How many are yours?' I cover it with a joke.

‘Only the one.'

‘The biggest?'

He laughs and then looks at me with gentle understanding. ‘You okay at the thought of going on the water? It's a beautiful morning. Calm, pristine conditions.'

‘You're saying I'm going to be safe.'

‘I wouldn't risk you,' he says softly.

I know. Because of Lukas.

‘You can hold my hand if you want.' He holds his palm towards me.

I take it.

We board a gleaming white catamaran. I feel as if I've stepped into a film set, only it's real. The crew are lined up to meet me. They're dressed immaculately and are so polite, so well drilled in their job he doesn't need to issue orders. Everything is beautiful and perfect, it's like magic. I know it's not just that they're paid a mint to do it. I get the feeling they want to do a good job for him—same with the discreet staff at his house. They're loyal because they actually like him.

He's not as entitled as I first thought. Yes, he was born into wealth, but he worked hard to turn the family company around when it foundered. He's worked hard to get what he has. And he's working hard to please me now.

‘Aren't you going to captain the ship?' I ask once the crew disappear to get ready to move.

‘Not this time,' he says lazily. ‘I'm going to breakfast with you.'

‘But you can, right? You have your boat licence and a whole other bunch of licences, right?'

‘Right now I'm hoping for a licence to eat,' he teases.

I follow him up to the large back deck and see the feast already set there.

‘When did you arrange this?' I ask.

He just smiles. I blink repeatedly at the beautiful view—and I don't mean the bay. I'm too blown away by him to nibble on the fresh fruit and pastries.

‘Nothing tempts?' He notices. ‘The chef will make you something fresh if you want?'

Laughing, I shake my head. ‘I'm too busy taking in the view. The water looks so inviting—'

‘You want to swim?' His eyebrows lift. ‘It's not too cold?'

‘This is warm for me.' I smile. Even though it's technically still winter, it's much hotter here in Brisbane than back in the South Island of New Zealand. ‘But no, I don't want to swim.'

‘But you want to strip?' He teases.

I just want to stare. At him. Which I don't. I make myself look beyond him. We glide over the blue waters passing beautiful bays with gleaming gold sand. It's invigorating and my heart soars.

‘I've never been sailing,' I chirrup thoughtlessly, turning to look at him again. I never imagined ever being on a boat like this.

Again he just smiles. He knows. Of course he knows that there are lots of things I've never done. I bow my head to hide the burn of embarrassment—I'm so gauche. But he lifts my chin, forcing me to meet his intense blue gaze again.

‘There's no shame in never having gone sailing before,' he says softly. ‘But now you can. With me.' He pulls me close. ‘We'll come back—scuba when it's warmer.'

‘I don't know how to scuba.'

‘I'll teach you.'

‘You're a qualified scuba coach as well?'

He chuckles.

My heart thunders. ‘Why did you arrange this?'

He waves a hand. ‘It's a beautiful morning.'

‘You don't have work to do?'

‘Maybe we both deserve a little break from work. You've been working your whole life too.'

My lips twist. ‘You've got bigger rewards, though.'

He gazes towards the bay. ‘I don't mind sharing with you.'

For a moment I'm speechless.

‘Thank you for helping me with Ava,' I eventually say. ‘Thank you for this. Thank you for everything.'

His expression closes. ‘You know I don't want your gratitude.'

‘Too bad.' I shrug. ‘You'll get used to it eventually.'

His mouth twists. ‘And maybe you'll eventually get used to getting what you actually deserve.'