Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

"Y ou did a great job throwing this ball, Your Grace." Another matron in the ton praised much to Victoria’s dismay.

She had been trying to escape the party which had taken a rowdier look as the wine had flowed freely but it seemed she would have to halt her plans for the time being.

"I thank you, my lady." She curtsied with a smile.

Her eyes roamed round the room trying to spot Anthony. She had watched him leave after the harried excuse he had made and wondered if perhaps he were trying to escape the crowd that filled their ballroom. She smiled as she watched him go, proud that he had survived as long as he had.

She had been hoping to steal some private moment with him in the library but he obviously hadn’t been having the same thoughts as her because he had had a frown on his face when he’d left.

She had spied him step out into the gardens and hoped to follow him but had been pulled away to attend to some minor catering issue which the serving staff could have attended to themselves.

"Simon, have you seen His Grace?" She asked a passing footman he identified as one of the ones who stood outside Anthony's study.

"I think he is in his study, Your Grace." He bowed.

She nodded and dismissed him, hurrying with a smile to his study. Perhaps she would be getting her tete a tete at all. She skipped all the way to the door and spying the light under the door, she smiled broadly, smoothing a hand over her dress.

Even if he had seen her in less than honorable positions, she was still conscious about her appearance before him.

She pushed the door open and peered through but not seeing him she frowned.

"Anthony?" She called into the room, stepping further into the space.

"Victoria?"

Theo had been reading a book he had pulled out of Anthony’s private collection. He smiled at her and returned the book to its place.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with a frown. "Where’s Anthony?"

"I came to escape for a while."

"You shouldn't be in Anthony's study." She told him sternly. "It isn't proper."

Her disappointment at not finding her husband dulled the usual excitement she had on seeing her friend. Her tone had been curt and she hoped it drove the message that he should leave.

It was improper for him to be in the host’s private study and even more so to be alone. If Anthony were to walk in on them now, she didn’t deign to imagine what he would think.

"I was hoping to see the duke." He told her.

Victoria frowned.

Theo who had staunchly pronounced his dislike of the duke would willingly seek him out?

It was entirely unbelievable.

"Why?" she asked surprised. "Have you finally come to like him?"

He chuckled darkly and turned to pour her a drink from her husband’s collection. She frowned but accepted nonetheless. The man really was stubborn. She would only hope Anthony would be in a good mood in the event he chose to walk into the room. And she hoped it would be soon.

"On the contrary." He told her, turning to place his cup down on Anthony’s desk. "I came to ask him to make a choice."

She frowned and dropped her drink. It had tasted sour and unlike the port Anthony usually poured her so it wasn’t a great loss. She would ask him to toss it out later when she saw him.

"What choice?"

"To let you go willingly."

Her face shot to him in shock and anger.

"Theo why…? What is this nonsense you spew?" she spat, rising from her seat. "Why would you think telling my husband to let me go is a good idea? What in the world is wrong with…"

"Because I’m in love with you, Victoria." He answered interrupting her. "Because I am in love with you and I don’t want to see you trapped in this farce you call a marriage."

Victoria’s mouth hung open as a new wave of emotions crossed her, her eyes blinking in rapid succession.

"You do not mean that, Theo." She laughed humorlessly, shaking her head. "You cannot mean that."

"Oh but I do, Victoria." He assented, rushing forward with a crazed look in his eye, taking her hands in his. "I truly do love you. I have loved you since we were children and I have known you harbor feelings for me. You only deny it because you are a loyal woman. That is one of the things I admire most about you. When we are married I…"

"Stop this!" She cried, pulling her hands from his and walking away from him. "How can you claim to love me after so many years? Why wait until I was happily married? What do you mean by when we’re married? I’m never leaving Anthony. Not for you. Not for anyone else. The sooner you accept that, the better for you."

"Victoria!" He said exasperated. "You do not mean that. You do not have to lie. Not to me." He grabbed her shoulders and shook her.

Her eyes widened in fear at the crazed look in his eye and the hurting grip he had on her shoulder.

"Theo, you’re hurting me." She complained.

He pulled away from her and looked at his hands, shaking his head and running a finger through his hair.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I just… God, Victoria. You have to stop lying to yourself. There’s no need to stay with him. He is a beast beneath those fine trappings he has woven around himself. He isn’t capable of love."

"You do not know him the way I do so you have absolutely no right to talk about him that way." She spat. "These past few weeks he has sat with me through tedious hours of joyless party planning. You say he is a beast but he has been gentle with me. You cannot say he isn’t capable of love when he treats me so well. Besides, its people like you in the ton who treat him so poorly that give him such an inaccurate perception of himself."

"I don’t know why I find that so hard to believe." He scoffs. "A man like the duke sitting with you to pick party decorations? He looks like a beast and must surely act like one. Perhaps he is just bidding his time till he has put a baby in you."

"How can you say something so terrible, Theo?" Victoria gasped in outrage, rising from her seat. "You know nothing about my husband. Nothing at all! To say something so horrible… God Theo I can’t believe you."

"I do not need to know him to know he cannot make you happy the way I can." He argued. "I’ve known you since we were children. I have watched you grow. I have watched you take on hobbies and drop them. I know all your favorite meals and flowers. I know you once harbored feelings for me and I know you were crushed when I wed but I can be free of her now. I do not love her."

"Yet you married her and she is carrying your child." She scoffed. "I cannot believe you, Theo."

"I only did that because my family need the dowry of a rich heiress to help clear our debts and yours wouldn’t have been able to do so. You must understand me, Victoria."

"Theo, please I am happy in my marriage."

"Victoria you must snap out of whatever spell he must have put on you. You can’t possibly think yourself in love with him after so short a time." He scoffed. "Or are you so desperate to escape spinsterhood that you would endure marriage to him? Come away with me, Victoria. Tonight. We could leave our spouses behind and start new lives together and we could be happy. I know you love me as I love you. I promise I can take care of you. I have enough put aside to do so."

Victoria’s hand itched to slap the words out of her old friend’s face but she refrained from doing so. If only because she didn’t want to bring herself to such a low degree in character.

His prejudice and adamant refusal to see the good in the man that made her happy wasn’t worth losing control over. She would still be with Anthony long after Theodore returned home and she intended to make sure she would save his gradually repairing reputation the affront of her hitting Theodore.

"I do not blame you for your prejudice Theo." She said. "You have always refused to have an optimistic view on anything and we’re far too old to continue such an argument. I love my husband and I will stay by his side irrespective of what terrible views you have of him. I only hope with time that you would come to…"

She stopped as her vision turned blurry and her head light. She tried to lift her hands to her head but she found it felt difficult as though her arms had suddenly become lead weights.

"What...?"

"I’m sorry I had to go through such extreme means, Vic." She heard Theo say, though his voice sounded distorted as though she were trapped under water. "But it was the only way I felt I could save you. You will thank me later."

"Theo I don’t feel well." She finally let out.

"It will pass in only a moment, darling." Theo said. His voice sounded far off and close all the same.

"Uh…"

She felt the world slip into nothing else as the vague sensation of being carried hit her. She was grateful because her legs had suddenly given way and she could barely feel her body. Only one thought came to mind.

Anthony would worry himself sick if she wasn’t found quickly. She only hoped he wouldn’t think she had left him.

Oh Anthony, please come find me.

* * *

Theodore grunts as he adjusts Victoria on his shoulder, peeping down a hallway to see if he could make his escape without anyone noticing him.

He hadn’t expected Victoria to be so hesitant to leave but no matter. He would make her see reason once she was far from whatever trappings he had on her.

He had watched her and bid his time since he had eavesdropped on their conversation and had watched their every move. He had been ready to give up when he had seen them dance four dances but when the bastard duke had left her to go speak to his former fiancée, he had seen it as the perfect time.

He had chosen to leave things to chance by waiting in the duke’s study and when she had come strolling in with that beautiful smile on her face, he knew even the universe was supporting his claims.

What he hadn’t expected was for her to spit in the face of all the reasons he had given her to show why he was a better fit for her than the duke.

He knew she wasn’t a moved by material possessions so her reasons for staying with the duke was nothing to do with his vast estates. She was the loyal sort, his darling Victoria. That was the only logical explanation for her choosing to stay with the duke.

She would thank him for freeing her from her prison once she awoke. He was sure of it. The powder he had poured in her drink was a contingency plan he had thought of last minute. Its effects would wear off within the hour so he needed to move quickly.

They would live happily together from this night on.

He had made sure of it.

The letter he had written and signed in her name made sure of it. He had felt no remorse using such terrible words to the duke because he needed to ensure the stubborn man didn’t come looking for her when he didn’t find her at the end of the ball.

Yes.

He would finally have Victoria, his first love and soon they would be man and wife.

* * *

"Have you seen Victoria?" Anthony asks Charity after a long minute of searching for his wife.

He had checked the possible places he thought he’d find her after his talk with Rose and hadn’t found her, including their shared chamber and the kitchens after a maid had told him she had seen her head down to the kitchens.

Her sister’s eye popped open in surprise and she shook her head. He was glad to see the fear that was once in her eyes when she looked at him had disappeared but he didn’t dwell on it considering he hadn’t still found Victoria.

"I haven’t seen her but have you checked the library?" she asked. "Victoria likes to escape public gatherings after a while. So you might find her up there with her nose in a book."

"I think you’re talking about yourself, darling." Her baron added with a sly smile.

He looked like he had over imbibed and was one drink away from making a complete fool of himself.

The young couple laughed at their inside joke and Anthony felt a slight pang as it reminded him slightly of what he had shared with Victoria over the passing weeks.

He wondered how he could have deceived himself so long that he was completely besotted with his wife. He missed her sorely already and had noticed her giving him hot looks out of the corner of her eyes before Rose had caught his eye.

Perhaps, they would be able to steal a short moment for themselves.

Their guests seemed quite content with how the night had turned out and were a rowdy mess as they danced, forgetting decorum.

He thanked her and made his way to the library and not finding her there, he thought to check his own study. She might have wanted somewhere more private considering libraries were common escape places for shy debutantes and gentlemen.

He stepped into his study and frowned at the glass littering his table and the other on the small side table near the chair facing the fireplace.

Who would have dared breach his private study?

His frown deepened when he found a sealed letter on his desk carrying his seal. He inspected it and turned it over, wondering what it could be.

Prying his letter opener from its place, he broke the seal and reading the contents, he let the letter fall to the floor.

My dear duke,

I should tell you this in person but I fear what you might do to me if I were to tell you the truth of my heart.

I am leaving you and if you are reading this now, I have already gone.

I cannot continue to pretend to be your wife when I have already fulfilled my end of the deal as you well know it.

I know you will understand me because I won’t be the first woman unable to stay with you. I wish you happiness nonetheless.

Yours,

Victoria.

He didn’t feel it at first but as he read over the words again, a sharp pain unlike any he had felt before struck him square in the chest and he gasped, placing a palm against his aching heart.

If she hadn’t mentioned his broken engagement and then the deal which they had made which were privy only to the two of them, he would have thought her kidnapped but Victoria had truly left him.

He placed the paper gingerly on his desk and turned to face the fire which burned in his grate, heaving out a huge sigh even though what he really wanted to do was shout and break things.

Why hadn’t she just told him?

And what had she meant by what he would do to her?

Did she really think him capable of hurting her?

He poured himself a drink and then another and then two glasses turned to five as he tried to numb the ache that felt even worse that the wounds that had scarred across his face and body.

Then he threw the glass and let out a shout that drew knocks to his door.

"Your Grace, are you well?"

He could recognize the voice of the footman that stood outside his door and stalked to it. As he opened the door, the music and cheers from the ballroom incensed him further.

The whole ball had been her idea and she had chosen to leave in the midst of it so he wouldn’t be able to stop her leaving. He storms into the ballroom, wincing at the noise of the celebration going on below.

"I want everyone out. Now!" he yelled not caring at the whispers and murmurs that arose.

A couple of matrons covered the lower half of their faces with their fans but their eyes spelled their disapproval of his behavior.

"Anthony, what are you doing?" His mother said sharply, rushing up the stairs. "You’re creating an unbecoming scene. What has gotten into you?"

"Is everything well?" His sister that had arrived sometime during the ball asked. "Your eyes are bloodshot. Did you drink?"

"I just need everyone to leave." He answered on a long breath. "Please make them leave."

His mother sent him a long look but said a speech he didn’t register but worked but the murmurs still floated back to him causing him to clench his teeth.

"So barbaric."

"I knew he hadn’t changed."

"He really is a beast."

"I pity that poor wife of his."

"She will probably leave him after this kind of behavior."

He stormed off at the last comment to his study and poured himself another glass.

He had very well ruined the reputation he had struggled to build over the past month with Victoria’s help but he didn’t care. Not one bit.

"What was that behavior, Anthony?" His mother scolded storming into his study. "Why would you just yell at everyone to leave? Is that how I raised you?"

Her yelling sent a wave of pain through his head and he knew if he didn’t attempt to postpone the conversation, he might transfer his pain to her and she didn’t deserve that.

"Mother." He sighed looking into her eyes from where he sat at his desk. "Please can we speak tomorrow?"

"Anthony..."

"Please, Mother." He begged.

She still looked ready to scold the hide off his back but nodded.

"I will be waiting to hear your justification for your behavior tomorrow but until then I do hope you realize the implications of what you have done."

"Mother." His sister, Mirana, chided. "Save your scolding until tomorrow."

He smiled thankfully at his sister and leaned back in his chair.

"I am sorry I am not a better host tonight, sister." He apologized. "We shall speak tomorrow."

She smiled and nodded and led their mother out of the room, leaving him in blessed silence and solitude.

The offending letter sat proudly on his desk, mocking him and as a man who had developed a sudden love for torture, he read over it again. This time, anger didn't rise in him but intense sadness as his demons mocked him for thinking someone could ever love him.

He had just been a means to keep her sister from his hands and even though she had seemed to care, it had all been a farce.

Memories of her loud, unpracticed laughs when he said anything remotely funny and her soft sultry smile when she imagine something naughty.

He groans at how he misses her despite how she had hurt him and chooses to drown his sorrows in alcohol. Hopefully by morning he would have completely forgotten her.