Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

"M y feet are so sore." Victoria groaned much to Anthony’s amusement after they had danced four dances simultaneously. "Help me."

He laughed and led her to a chair at the edge of the room which se sank into with a sigh.

"Do you want anything to drink?" He asked her.

"No." she answered shaking her head. "I’ve already had too much punch."

Her sister comes to join them, the young baron he had met earlier, in tow, looking as though he had won a prize.

He had wondered at the lad’s expression earlier when they had been introduced by Charity and seeing it again, he couldn’t help but wonder why the boy watched him so.

"Oh Victoria." Charity cried, settling into one of the seats. "This is the most wondrous ball’s I have attended. You thought of everything."

Anthony smiled proudly at that and shot Victoria a look. She had been so worried at the inception of her planning that he had had to help her but with time, she had come to trust in her abilities.

He had had to ask his mother to be much nicer to her and they had found many areas on which they agreed.

He knew his mother’s dislike of Victoria was due her reservations on how old she was and the fact that she had used scandal to force him into marriage with her but he had noticed her warm up to his wife quite quickly.

"Thank you, Charity." She smiled. "Soon, you too will be tasked with organizing your own ball."

The girl blushed and smiled at her beau who was also red in the face.

"You should also compliment the duke." Victoria added, surprising him. "He was a darling and has exquisite taste in curtain and flower designs."

He glared at her as the young lovers stared at him with an incredulous expression.

"Your Grace, I had no idea you would be adept at such… tasks." The baron stuttered which caused Victoria to laugh even louder.

He shook his head and was thinking of how he would punish her later when he spied a familiar face in blue out of the corner of his eye.

He turned hoping to see if it was who he thought and when he found her outright staring at him, he frowns.

She tilts her head, indicating that she would like to talk and he rises wondering what she could possibly want to discuss.

As he stepped out after her into the garden, he wondered why he was even giving her audience when he had nothing to say.

She turns to him and has a remorseful look on her face and he frowned harder wondering at the unnecessary emotion.

"What do you want, Lady Sutherford?" he asked, unable to keep the ire out of his voice.

They had been friends once but she had lost the privilege the moment she asked him to cancel their engagement.

"You surely cannot still be upset with me, Anthony?" she started but seeing his irritated look, she withers. "I... I wanted to apologize to you. I’m sorry, Anthony, for how I ended things. I should not have been so unfeeling. You deserved better than that, if anything for the friendship we’ve shared."

"Lady Sutherford, this is all in the past." He told her tonelessly. "why do you bring this up now?"

"Your mother informed me that it was my ending our engagement that influenced your decision to stay away from society."

He frowned and turned as though trying to find his mother.

She placed a hand on his arm which she removed at his glare.

"I know you don’t like her interfering, but she only meant well." She added hastily.

"And when did you two have this conversation?"

She sighed and looked away from him. "About a month ago." She answered.

He turned away from her, squeezing his hands into fists as he tried to suppress the storm of emotions her appearance set off in him.

"Why now, Lady Sutherford?" He asked angrily. "I am happily married and no longer hiding from society. Why did you choose to haunt me now? What do you want from me?"

"I don’t want you to think I only asked you to break off the marriage because of your scars." she answered. "She told me my words had made you hate yourself so much and I felt horrible for making you feel that way."

"What did you expect me to believe? You could barely look at me." He answered honestly, unable to hide the irritation in his voice. "You flinched when I sat next to you."

"I admit it was wrong of me to act as horribly as I did but I only used that as an excuse." She sighed. "Anthony… you and I both knew it was never going to work with us. What we would have had would have been a loveless, passionless, perfunctory marriage to satisfy our families and I wanted more than that. Deep down, I know you wanted that too. Else you would have married me before going off to war."

He frowned as he realized he wasn’t exactly wrong. He could have married her if he was really wanted to before leaving as was customary, but he had not.

But he had not thought that perhaps he had been holding out for a love match. That was a notion he had thought only fools held on to. At least he had thought so until he had experienced marriage to Victoria.

Theirs had started off loveless but at least there had been mutual attraction and passion between them and with time, they had begun to see areas where they were compatible.

He had not believed it was possible to enjoy marriage but each day he awoke next to Victoria, he found new things about her that he…loved.

Had he truly gone and fallen in love with Victoria?

"I see how you are with your duchess and I know it would never have been the same with me." She smiled softly. "I am almost jealous of how much you two love each other."

"We are not a love match." He argued.

"You must be blind if you don’t see how much that girl loves or foolish to think you’re not in love with her, Anthony." She scoffed. "When have you ever danced more than one dance with a woman? And for the fun of it? Anthony, you have been smiling and laughing with her and everyone has been saying the same thing. You are utterly besotted with your wife, and she obviously is besotted with you too."

"She is my wife," he argued. "I was only performing my duty by dancing with her."

"And you are under no obligation to," she retorted shaking her head. "How many husbands have you seen dancing with their wives?"

Only a few, if he chose to be honest.

"And you have barely been able to keep your eyes or hands off her." She smiled. "This is more than lust, Anthony. That darling girl has somehow won your heart. A feat that no one else had been able to do even though they'd tried."

She was smiling so brightly at the fact that he was reminded of their conversations when they had been younger. They had not made good lovers because there had been no attraction between them but she had been one of his best friends and closest confidantes.

He realized he had been hurt by her rejection more because he had lost a good friend than a partner.

"I have missed you, Roseline." He smiled knowing how much she hated when he used her full name.

"You know I hate when you do that." She groaned. "But I have missed you dearly too, Anthony. You must introduce me to your wife."

"I will but you will excuse me." He told her, looking around and trying to spot her. "I must find her and tell her that I love her."

He leaves her in the balcony but not before seeing the wide grin spread across her face.

Now that the realization had struck him, he wondered how he could have been so foolish to deny it all this time.

He had fallen in love with her from the moment she had looked him in the eye and told him not to marry her sister and he had fallen deeper when he saw her defend him even when she had not seen him and did not know enough about him.

It had grown with every time she laughed and every time she bit her lip when nervous and every time she looked at him like he was a puzzle she wanted to solve.

It was her gentle words and her willingness to care for a man so broken and scarred despite all the judgement she would have received from society.

He had gone and fallen in love with a woman so selfless, she put the saints to shame and it did not scare him any longer.

He found himself excited at the prospect that she possibly loved him too.

He rushed through the ballroom, looking to see if he could find her and tell her in many words just how much he loved her.