Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Will

M oving along the aisles of the supermarket, my head was definitely not on my weekly shopping list. It was split into three.

First there was my dad and whether I wanted to see him again. Whether I even wanted to think about him again. I had to admit I was curious about him, but was that enough to give him a chance when he didn't deserve one.

Second there was my daughter. She'd landed it on me that she wanted to go to London for the weekend. To go to a fucking party! With her boyfriend and their friends. I knew I should let her go. That I should encourage her, because if she enjoyed it, well then maybe she'd seriously consider going away to university. It still didn't mean I wasn't shit scared about her going partying with her boyfriend .

Third, there was Maya. No problems there, other than I didn't see her often enough. While two hours distance wasn't massive, it was still too far. It wasn't a nip around to see her for a quick coffee and chat, distance. Or even a stay overnight and then go to work after morning sex, distance. It was just too bloody far. Especially after having her stay over for a couple of nights. I'd got used to her being there. That had been all it had taken—two nights of her being in my arms and I was lost without her.

All that was why it was difficult to decide between fresh orange with bits or without bits. It was bloody confusing. As for cereal I thought my head might pop. Maddy was obsessed with the amber, green and red symbols on boxes and the cereal that I liked had more red symbols than anything else. The ones with green looked like they'd taste like cardboard.

Moving on to the bread aisle, I was surprised to see Ana, Maddy's friend pushing a trolley around. I knew that since they'd gone into the sixth form they had a lot of free periods, but Ana did the same subjects as Maddy, and she was at school all day. Looking at her, I could see that she didn't look well. Maybe that was why she wasn't at school. Shuffling around and leaning on the trolley, she lingered in front of the bagels, then after a few seconds grabbed some and threw them on top of the rest of her shopping. She hadn't even glanced at the packaging, so much for red, amber and green.

Manoeuvring my own trolley towards her, I moved up beside her. "Hi, Ana."

Her head whipped around, and sad grey eyes looked up at me. "Mr Newman."

"No school today?"

She shook her head, and I noticed how pale she was. Usually, she was made up with her thick eyeliner, mascara and blood red lips, but none of that was present. Instead, I could see her freckles and her youthful complexion. It reminded me how young my daughter and her friends were, trying to take tentative steps into adulthood.

"I-I should go," Ana said. "I need to finish this. Mum is waiting for it."

"How are your mum and dad?" I didn't know her parents well, but enough that we called each other about sleepovers and pick-ups from parties.

She tucked her hair behind her ears and gave me a tight smile. "They're fine."

"And the Martial Arts school, how's that doing? Busy?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, yep. It's busy."

It was obvious she didn't want to talk to me, and seeing as I was always tuned in to teenagers, I decided to call it quits, and patted her shoulder. "Well, good to see you. Say hello to your mum and dad for me."

She swallowed hard and, with another nod, she walked away and headed straight for the checkout. As I watched her, I wondered what was troubling her, because something definitely was. Following her, I watched her load her shopping onto the conveyor belt and noted the stoop of her shoulders. She barely acknowledged the till assistant, who was clearly chatting to her, which was unlike her. Ana was Maddy's most exuberant friend, the most confident one who had never been shy in front of me, so I knew that I needed to talk to Maddy when she got home.

I'd just put enchilada's into the oven when I heard the front door bang, a bag being flung to the floor, and then a pair of shoes skidding along the hallway as Maddy kicked them off.

"Cupboard," I yelled. A grumble was followed by the understairs cupboard being opened and then slammed shut after a few more seconds. "Thank you."

"I'm starving," said the voice at the kitchen doorway. "What's for tea?"

Turning to Maddy, I raised an eyebrow. "Hello to you, too."

"Hi, Dad." She grabbed her hair, took a scrunchie off her wrist, and then created what looked like a bird's nest on top of her head. "So? What is it?"

"Enchilada's and salad. Can you lay the table."

"Two or three?" she asked, opening up the cutlery drawer.

"Two. Maya is out with her friends tonight and has to work in the office the rest of the week."

"You know you can stay over there, don't you. I wouldn't mind."

With a half turn of my head, I watched how her lips twitched for a second before she schooled her face and narrowed her eyes on me.

"I'm old enough to look after myself."

"I know. And you also have a boyfriend."

She just about resisted an eye roll. "Dad, I am seventeen. Did you forget that?"

"Nope." I grabbed the salad tongues and stuck them in the bowl. "I also remember being seventeen, which means I know it's an opportunity for unofficial sleepovers and what happens at those sleepovers."

"I wouldn't if you said no," she snapped.

I wasn't so sure, but then I never stuck to the rules at that age either. "I'm not saying you can't have friends to stay with you but it's just a bit weird for me to think that friend might be male." I swallowed, preparing for the words I was about to say. "So, if you did ever find yourself home alone and had him stay just be sensible and safe."

Maddy flashed a grin, it was quick, but I saw it, before she protested, " Dad , how stupid do you think I am?"

I shrugged. "Not at all, but sometimes sensibility goes out of the window when you're in a moment."

She fake gagged. "I don't want you to ever say that again. I've just been sick in my mouth."

"Can't promise that, sorry, Madeline."

My daughter's emotions often showed on her face, and the by the look of her pinched lips and raised eyebrows, I'd say she was feeling nauseous. Probably time to change the subject.

"I saw Ana today," I said, placing the salad on the table. "Is she okay?"

Maddy's eyes went wide. Her expression changed from anger to worry. Something was going on; this wasn't the first time she'd heard about her friend not being okay.

"Why do you ask?" She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ears.

There was no question of where I'd seen her, or what was wrong. I might not know much, but I knew my daughter.

"Sit down," I said, pointing to one of the chairs at the table. "And tell me what's going on."

"Nothing is going on." She looked anywhere but at me, so I knew that was a lie.

"Now tell me the truth." I was ready to wait for as long as it took. Thankfully, Maddy's worry for her friend must have been foremost in her mind, because she confessed straight away.

"You know her mum messaged to ask if she'd been to school?" I nodded. "Well, the next day she came to school drunk off her face, Dad."

"What?" I leaned forward, unsure if I'd heard her properly. "Say that again."

As she bit on her bottom lip, I reached for her. "Take my hand, sweetheart, and tell me everything."

"She's been moody for a couple of weeks but seemed to have pulled out of it. Then yesterday, she turned up at school absolutely legless. And I mean literally legless, Dad. She couldn't stand up. Zak and Liam had to help her walk to Zak's mum's car."

"So, the boys took her home?"

"We all took her to Emma's house and stayed the day there with her."

"You all took the day off school?"

She winced. "I know, and I'm sorry, Dad, but she was in a real state, and we didn't want her to get in trouble with her parents. Please don't tell them. I've only told you in case we need your help."

The trepidation in her eyes was justified, but Ana was more import than Maddy missing a day of school. I was just glad she felt she could come to me for help.

"What happened at the house? Was she okay?"

"She puked a few times, and we put her to bed, checking on her. After a while, she got up, but then puked again." She sighed heavily. "So, we put her back to bed and then eventually took her home. We haven't seen or heard from her since."

I squeezed her hand. "I saw her in the supermarket, doing her mum's shopping."

"Did she look okay?" Maddy's bottom lip trembled slightly as big brown eyes almost pleaded with me.

"A bit pale, none of her usual makeup, which is understandable if she was hungover." As Maddy's fingers gripped mine, I scrubbed my other hand down my face. "Do you have any idea why she was drunk? Why she's been moody lately? Because I'm guessing the two are connected."

"We just thought she was in a bad mood," she replied with a shrug. "Then when she stayed here, when you went to the wedding, she was fine. She was laughing and joking and…" Her words trailed off and her shoulders dropped. "How did we not notice, Dad? We should have known something was wrong."

"Don't beat yourself up about it, Mads. The main thing is that you're there to help her."

"How do we do that? I know her, and she won't tell us what's wrong; I know she won't."

"Maybe speak to her parents?" I suggested.

Maddy gasped. "No way. She'd never speak to me again."

I shook my head, wishing my daughter had already had the benefit of experience and hindsight. "She might not speak to you for a while, but at least she'll have people— her parents —looking out for her."

"Dad," she groaned. "I can't speak to them. Honestly, she'll go mad, and what if she gets into trouble for drinking?"

"Then she gets into trouble for it, sweetheart. But you have to know her drinking at eight-thirty in the morning isn't a good thing. It's a bad thing, and she's clearly got something troubling her."

She nodded solemnly. "I know. Can I speak to her first, though. See if she'll tell me."

"I think that's reasonable, but if she won't tell you, then her mum and dad have to be told. Okay?"

With an inhalation, she nodded. "Okay."

Letting go of her hand, I slapped the table, leaned in to kiss her forehead, and then stood up. "Right, let's get something to eat."

Placing the plates on the table, I turned back to the oven when the front doorbell rang. "That better not be one of your mates," I said over my shoulder. "You've got revision to do."

"It won't be," Maddy argued. "It'll be for you."

The bell shrilled again. "You could answer it."

"I've told you it'll be for you. You go and I'll dish the food out."

When she pushed me out of the way with a hip bump, it was clear I had no choice, so I wandered off down the hall. When I pulled the door open, I took a step back.

"How the hell did you find me?" I asked.

The man in front of me smiled, not looking one bit embarrassed at turning up on my doorstep unannounced.

"I know you told me to fuck off, but—" He shrugged. "You're my son, so…"

As I stared at him, I felt a presence behind me and glanced over my shoulder at Maddy.

"Dad?"

"Maddy," I groaned, looking up at the ceiling. "This is your grandfather, Steven."

Her hand came to the small of my back, offering me support as she silently watched my father from by my side. When I looked back at him, his eyes were expectant and with one foot on my doorstep, it was clear he wasn't going to leave without a fight. When Maddy's hand pulled on my t-shirt, I was urged back to life.

"You'd better come in," I told him. "You have ten minutes and that's all."

He gave me a single nod of the head and stepped inside my house, as if he belonged there.