Chapter 13

Destiny

I can tell he means what he says. I've never spoken to anyone about what happened between me and Koda, not even my best friend Janice knows. I don't even know Taylan, that sounds fucking stupid considering the amount of times we've now fucked but you don't need feel or know someone to have their cock inside you. If my mother knew the way I thought about sex she would have a meltdown. My mom has always preached to me that your body is like a temple and you need to cherish it. Given what she went through, I understand why she needed me to know this stuff from a young age.

"You are the second person I have slept with," I admit. I feel Taylan tense but don't say anything more, giving him time to digest what I just said.

"I want to say thank you but I feel like you would dick punch me if I did." I can't stop the laughter from bursting out of me, he's not wrong, I would have done that. When he trails his fingers through my hair, I melt into him further enjoying the feeling. "If it helps, you're the first Russian-American I have ever slept with." We both laugh at his stupid declaration.

"I guess you're my first Canadian."

"I'll be the only Canadian you fuck, Slayer." His proclamation has us both going silent for a beat until I break it.

"Koda Novikov said all the right things, did everything that would make any girl fall for him and I did." It tastes bitter on my tongue admitting that shit out loud. "He was my TA and off limits. That didn't stop me and my friends from staring at him or picturing ourselves fucking him. One day, when I went to the gym early, he was there. It was just me and him. I remember being so nervous when he jumped on the treadmill beside me that I tried to not look at him, but I couldn't help it, he smiled and butterflies erupted inside me. We began talking, then got coffee. For the next two weeks I went to the gym early just so I could talk to him."

"He was vetting you," Taylan says softly.

I nod. "At the time I didn't realize that, I thought he just wanted to get to know me and hang out. After a month of meeting at the gym he asked me on a date. I agreed. We went to dinner, then he took me to a movie. I thought he would try to bust a move or something but he didn't, he took me back to my dorm, walked me to the door, kissed me on the cheek, then left."

"He hooked you then, didn't he?"

It burns to admit it but he's right. "Yeah. We started hanging out more often, on our fifth date I didn't want it to end so he took me back to his apartment. I thought for sure he would try something then but he didn't, he set me up in his room and took the couch. He never pushed me to sleep with him, we kissed and touched but never took it further until a few weeks later. I wanted to try things and he was eager to teach me, we fooled around but didn't fuck."

I can feel Taylan's breathing accelerate, knowing that he is about to hear my darkest secret soon.

"Your first time was taken from you, wasn't it?" he asks.

I ignore his question and continue on with my story. "One of my friends figured out that we were seeing each other. She threatened to tell and I told Koda about it but he didn't seem worried. Two days after she went missing. I went to his apartment to tell him about Molly being MIA. I let myself in with the key he gave me. I looked for him but didn't find any sign of him but I did see everything I needed to."

"What did you see?"

"Molly's purse was on the counter next to a bloody butcher's knife. I didn't want to jump to conclusions but I couldn't help it. I waited for him to get home, when he walked through the door and saw me sitting there he looked different. I got a glimpse at the man behind the mask. He was no longer the guy I had fallen for—he was a monster. The moment he closed the door and locked it behind himself, I knew I was in trouble." I didn't realize I was shaking until Tay's arm tightened around me.

"I'm right here, Slayer, he can't touch you," he assures me.

I take a deep breath and force myself to carry on. "The second he put his hands on me I froze, every ounce of training went out the window when he punched me." His hold on me turns punishing as his anger rises, but I don't let it deter me and force myself to carry on. "He beat me. Raped me and then chained me up in his bathroom for two days, trying to torture the information about my mom's business from me. I never broke, no matter what he did to me. I never fucking broke." Taylan releases me and stands. I watch as he begins to pace the living room, feeling belittled and ashamed. I shared my story with him only for him to pull away and not even look at me.

Finally telling someone my story I thought I would feel freed, but Taylan's reaction isn't what I was expecting.

"Am I that disgusting?" I grit out, trying to keep the bitterness out of my tone but failing. He stops pacing and turns to face me with an astonished look on his face.

"Of course not."

"Bullshit, you couldn't get away from me fast enough."

He shakes his head looking all types of out of sorts. "Destiny, your first time was stolen from you and here I am fucking you like a savage. I'm so fucking sorry." I stare at him in astonishment, he doesn't think I'm disgusting.

He's angry at himself.

"I gave you consent, remember?" He tugs on the strands of his hair as he stares down at me.

"You don't deserve the way I have been fucking you! Fuck, the things I've made you do…" He spins around and slams his fist through the wall, pulling a shocked gasp from me. I climb to my feet and slowly make my way toward him. I reach out and place my hand on his back. He jerks away from me, leaning his back against the wall—he looks like a caged animal.

"I wanted those things. I could have said no at any time and I know you would have stopped. I'm not a broken doll, Taylan. I never told anyone because I don't want them to look at me differently. My mom and some of my aunts have been through something similar and my whole family treats them like glass, I don't want that. I'm okay. I didn't break."

"Destiny, you changed your whole life because of him!" he shouts. I recoil.

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did! You picked up fighting full time to prove him wrong. The course of your life was altered by that cunt. I'll kill the fucker, I swear to God I will break that cunt's essence like he made you believe yours was tainted. I'm going to send the fucker to Ireland where Wave's men can punish him daily for being a rapist. The Irish's form of punishment is just and he will beg for death but they won't allow it."

I look at him in a different light. I hear the truth in his voice.

"Mama had herself a devilish child, didn't she?" His eyes begin to lose some of the darkness in them at my light-hearted joke.

"Get dressed." I reel back.

"What?"

"I need to blow off some steam and you need to train."

"I'm not going to the gym," I say firmly.

"Who said we were going to the gym?"

My interest piques. "Where are we going?"

"To the underground. I need to fight and so do you, we leave in ten minutes."

Butterflies take flight inside me and I shoot him a grin before dashing down the hallway to change.

Taylan drives my car around the city like he knows where he's going. I'm quite surprised since he needed directions to get to the safe house. We head toward the outskirts of the city, neither of us say much but the silence isn't uncomfortable. When he finally pulls the car over I frown as I look around at the deserted lot with a single street light as the form of lighting.

"Is this the part where you kill me and chop up my body?" He turns to me and pins me with a dry stare.

"Ha ha. Get out of the car and keep your mouth shut, do everything I say and you'll make it out of here without everyone finding out who you are." I frown but don't get a chance to question him as he climbs out of the car, I quickly follow after him. Before we can make it two feet from the car he grabs my arm and pulls me to a stop, he runs his gaze over and looks unimpressed as he pushes his lips to the side. Before I can call him out on being a judgmental asshole, he reaches back and yanks his hoodie over his head and tosses it to me. I catch it on instinct and stare from it to him with a raised brow. "Put it on, keep the hood up and keep your head down."

"Why?" I ask as I pull it on and fight not to moan in appreciation when his scent engulfs me, fuck he smells amazing.

"You are the splitting image of your parents." I gape at him.

"Am not."

He rolls his eyes and pulls a gun from his waistband and holds it out to me. "You are. Your family isn't exactly welcome here and if anyone were to look at you long enough they would know you are Gage Murdoch's kid. Take the gun, any fucker comes at you, shoot them and run."

I scrunch my face and shake my head. "I'm not killing another person."

"You either do as I say or you sit in the fucking car and wait, the choice is yours." I sneer at the fucker then snatch the gun from him checking the safety is on before stowing it in the back of my yoga pants. He nods his approval then grabs my hand interlocking his fingers with mine. He leads me through the trees that surround the abandoned area, the only source of light we have to guide our way is the moon. The only reason I'm not struggling or worried he is going to kill me is the fact he gave me his gun. The further we get through the trees I realize we're walking a worn path, I start to hear voices and unknowingly grip Taylan's hand tighter. "I got you, Slayer," he reassures me.

"How do you know about this place?" I ask just as the voices grow in volume. I see lights through the thick tree branches and sigh in relief.

"Can you keep a secret?" he asks as he peers back at me over his shoulder.

"Yeah?" He comes to a stop and faces me, keeping his hold on my hand as if he is afraid the truth will send me fleeing.

"Since your father stopped the underground fights, we noticed there was an opening in the market for it when we took over the RDS so…"

My jaw unhinges. " You run the underground fights!" It's not a question.

He nods. "If you decide to snitch, make sure your father knows that Knox has no idea about this. Him and Xan have their own thing going on so I decided to make something of my own."

"Why did you decide to do this in the US and not Canada?" I ask.

He shrugs. "More money to be made here than back home, a lot of the people that come here have deep pockets and settle scores with rivals. Technically I'm not breaking the laws of the treaty with the families, kind of."

I balk at him. "Yes you are, you're not supposed to enter the US without consent."

"Who said I entered the States?" I frown, not grasping his meaning. "I don't need to be here for this to run smoothly. Put it this way, the guy who runs it for me is someone who is trusted in your family." My face slackens as realization dawns on me, there is only one person my family trusts completely.

"Uncle Luka," I breathe out.

He nods. "Just to be clear, your Uncle Rook knows about this too and turns a blind eye to it because it keeps Luka from hanging out at his house every night." I shake my head, Uncle Rook hated Aunt Clare cooking dinner for her brother nightly, I think it made him jealous since Aunt Carlina never did that for him.

"Don't tell me anymore, the less I know the better." He smiles and nods, then continues leading me through the woods. When we break the tree line, I slam to a stop forcing him to halt from the grip I have on his hand. It's like a scene out of a movie, cars are parked in a large circle in the middle of this field with their lights on, people form a circle around the two in the center that are fighting. Their cheers are so loud I want to cover my ears, being an MMA fighter means if I am caught at an illegal fight ring like this I will be disqualified and never allowed to enter the octagon again.

"Say the word and we can leave now and act like this never happened," he says offering me an out but the truth is, excitement is thrumming through me at the prospect of fighting here tonight.

I turn to look up at him. "I want to fight."

His face morphs from calm to aggressive in a split second. "No," he snaps before pulling me along. I try to struggle but he just keeps yanking me behind.

"Why not?" I shout.

"Because I said so," he snarls.

"You are not the boss of me and you sure as fuck are not my father!" He whirls around so fast I crash into his chest. He grips my chin in his free hand and forces my gaze to his.

"It would be a bit fucking nasty if I was your daddy since you swallowed my cum." I gape up at him, feeling the heat in my cheeks. "I'm the boss here, not you or your daddy. Your last name means nothing in this place, this is the underground. You don't fight tonight, you watch and learn. This is training for you. They might not be paid fighters like you, but these people have no choice but to win. Learn from their determination and watch how they push the limits to win, they will sacrifice anything to win because their life depends on it. Yours doesn't, keep that shit in mind."

I'm sick, his manhandling and dominance has me getting hot and needy for him all over again.