Chapter 12

Taylan

From the time we walked through her front door we have been all over each other, fucking on the kitchen counter, sofa, against the large glass windows, shower, hallway, bed. We destroyed her apartment and only came up for air because we couldn't ignore our hunger any longer. Destiny being the smart mouth she is said she would order dinner for us as a thank you for my services.

We sit across from each other at the kitchen counter, eating our takeout like a couple of starved kids. The sight of her in my shirt has me frowning. Today started out like shit but she curbed my anger by letting me fuck her six ways to Sunday and it was fun, but that's all this is to me, fun . I keep that thought to myself for the moment, not wanting to piss her off.

"So did you get paid?"

I lift my gaze to hers and frown. "What?"

She rolls her eyes. "For the bet you made with that bitch?"

My face slackens. "How did you know about that?"

She shrugs her shoulders trying to act unaffected. "I have my ways."

I take a swig of my beer before answering. "No. It was a stupid thing to do?—"

"I'm not looking for a ring or kids or anything like that, if that's something you want then you're with the wrong girl, Tay Tay. I'm here for a good time, not a long time."

Her words are like music to my ears, I know girls tend to get attached if you fuck them more than once. Hearing her admit that she is just having fun as well is a huge fucking relief.

"I'm glad we agree."

"Yeah, well, one bad relationship was enough for me." Her tone is laced with bitterness, I have a hunch she is talking about Koda so I push on.

"Was it some jock?" I ask casually.

She shoots me a deadpan look. "Don't play coy, Tay Tay. You and I both know who I am talking about, so let me break it down for you. He trained at my gym, seduced me, stole my virginity, dated me. Turns out he's an undercover Russian snake. The end."

"How the fuck did he get that close to you? Do they not run background checks at the gym?"

"No, dumbass, I was talking about the gym at my college. He was a TA and I was a student. If you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you, seeing how my family reacted to London fucking her headmaster was enough for me to take that secret to my grave."

Not willing to let this conversation go, I press on. "How did you figure out who he was?"

She sits there studying me for a moment debating whether or not I'm worthy of this knowledge. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because me being glued to your side for the foreseeable future puts a target on my back as well. I need to know why he is coming after you now."

"So, this is about you wanting to stay alive and not get to know me better?" I open my mouth but she waves me off. "It was a joke, Tay Tay, you and I aren't going to become friends that braid each other's hair and paint our nails."

I shudder. "No, just no."

She laughs but it dies off quickly. "I want something in return for me telling you about Koda."

My hackles raise. "What?" I force out through clenched teeth.

"I want to know why you always need consent." Before I can say anything she presses on again. "Don't deny it, we've fucked on every surface of this apartment and every single time you asked me to say I wanted it and I want to know who hurt you."

I try to remain stoic and give nothing away but fail, her eyes soften slightly as she looks at me.

"Knowing the truth won't change anything, my past doesn't affect you," I say in a firm voice.

"Maybe not but if I'm going to give you leverage against me then I need the same thing from you, it's only fair." I drop my container on the counter and scrub my hands down my face, only Knox, Wave and Xan know the truth about what happened. Reliving that moment in my past is something I avoid at all costs. Fear begins to snake its way up my spine, I push back from the counter and stand turning away from her as I try to gather myself. I try to think of something else to offer up in exchange and keep drawing a blank except for one thing, but I don't know if I can trust her with that information either. With no other choice, I spin around to face her to find her staring at me with rapt interest.

"I can't tell you." This time when she opens her mouth I push on. "I'll tell you something that no one else aside from five people know and if you ever breathe a word about it to anyone, I will slit your throat." My threat seems to pique her interest.

She takes a minute to mull over my words before agreeing to my terms. "You go first."

All the air leaves me in a rush, I'm going to hell for betraying my friends but I can't let her into my past, I just fucking can't.

"I've fucked Knox's wife." Her eyes widen to the size of dinner plates, her mouth opens but no words come out. "Seriously? You have a mouth that could start a war and always have something to say but hearing that I fucked Lake silences you?"

She snaps her mouth closed and narrows her eyes. "You're a fucking pig!" She sneers.

"Girl with the big ass mouth say what now?"

"You are the worst kind of friend and that bitch is disgusting for cheating on her?—"

Anger surges inside me as I cut her off. "Don't ever fucking speak about her like that!" I roar, she scowls at me.

"Don't ever fucking raise your voice at me again asshole."

"Don't ever call Lake a bitch!"

"She is and so are you, how could you do that to your best friend?"

It dawns on me then. "Knox knows about me sleeping with Lake." Shock splays across her face.

"And he let you live?"

I snort and shake my head. "Knox is always present when it happens, I would never have touched Lakeland like that behind his back."

Curiosity spurs to life inside her eyes. "Do you still… fuck her?"

"Jealous?"

"Curious actually," she counters.

"No. After Lake got pregnant we stopped."

She studies me again and it's making me uncomfortable at how she is reading me. "Oh my God!" she squeaks out.

"What?" I hedge slightly worried when she grins like a psycho.

"She's the girl."

"What girl?"

"She's the only girl you have slept with more than once, you kept sleeping with her because you didn't need consent to be given." My face slackens. Knox and Lake never clicked onto that but somehow this she devil has.

"No—"

"Bullshit. You kept doing it because they invited you into their bedroom which gave you consent. Knox telling you to fuck his wife was all the consent you needed because you knew she wanted it, she even told you to fuck her so it would turn her husband on."

"Shut the fuck up!" I roar, rather than listening to me and taking the hint that my anger was getting out of control she keeps pushing and even comes toward me.

"You liked it because you didn't feel weak about having to have her consent. It makes you feel vulnerable when you ask for consent, doesn't it?" Before I can temper my rage I strike out and wrap my hand around her throat, it takes two seconds for us both to register what I have done before she comes at me fist flying. I block her hits and try to duck out of reach but the bitch is an MMA fighter and knows how to subdue her opponent. She leaps at me and the force of her weight sends me sailing backward, the coffee table behind me not standing a chance against my weight and breaks beneath me. I grunt in pain. She drops her forearm against my throat and presses her knee down hard against my cock, drawing a pained roar from me.

"Slayer!" I grit out in warning as I glare up at her.

"You ever fucking lay your hands on me again, Taylan, and I swear to Christ Almighty I will fucking kill you. Do you understand me?" she screams in my face, now it's my turn to read her.

"He hurt you… he was physical with you." Her jaw locks, she tries to keep her emotions from displaying themselves but I see it in her eyes. "You get off on me asking you for consent because…"

"Shut the fuck up!" Her tone has a pleading edge, making horror surge inside me. I reach up without thought and cup her face between my hands. Her eyes flutter for a second as tears fill them, telling me everything she refuses to say aloud.

"I'm so sorry, Slayer. I had no idea," I whisper. She slams her eyes closed and pushes off me to rest back against the sofa, tucking her legs against her chest and burying her face in the top. I take a deep breath and ignore the pain in my back as I crawl over beside her and draw one of my knees up and rest my arm on top of it. We sit here in silence for so long that nighttime has fallen and the moon is high in the sky, offering us a small amount of light through the windows.

"Koda knew getting his men to strip me down to my bra and panties when they kidnapped us would scare me…" She sounds broken and exhausted.

"Because he had done the same thing to you and wanted you scared and whimpering in a corner," I add.

"Yeah," she says quietly.

I wrap my arm around her shoulders and draw her into my side, offering her comfort. I don't have much experience with comforting a woman aside from Lake, Wave and Mom. River doesn't count because she was harder than me, Knox and Xan, I swear she was more of a guy than the three of us. She rests her head against my shoulder, trying to get closer so I lift her and cradle her in my lap like a child. When she sighs in contentment a surge of protectiveness burns inside me.

"I assume no one in your family knows about him?" She shakes her head against my chest. "Do you want to tell me about him?"

"Not really," she admits.

"Have you ever told anyone?"

"Not a single soul. How do you tell someone that another human being hurt you, my essence is tainted."

"No, your essence is far from tainted. You're strong, fierce and a fighter, Slayer. Don't give that cock sucking cunt any credit."

"I was going to be a lawyer like my mom always wanted. I still trained in the gym, my dad has always supported my dream of wanting to fight."

"I sense a but coming…"

"I also love law and want to be a lawyer."

"Why not do both?" I ask.

" He said I would never make it as a fighter because I was weak, too spoiled and sheltered. To be a fighter you have to be hungry, crave the fight and need to win. He said I didn't have those things."

The pieces fall into place. "You dropped out of law school to prove him wrong, winning against Tiana isn't about the title, it's about proving him wrong and showing him that you are strong and hungry, isn't it?"

She takes a shuddering breath and nods. "Pathetic, huh?"

"Don't do that," I scold gently.

"What, say the truth?"

"No, don't brush off what you're feeling and put on that tough girl act."

"It's not an act," she defends. "I am actually a sour bitch and I'm good with that."

"No. You're not a sour bitch, you're just hardened by the events of your past."

I know exactly how that feels.