4. Karin

KARIN

"What do you two think? Could you see yourselves living here?" I ask my clients as we walk away from the beautiful three-bedroom single family home I just showed them. Outside, it's ridiculously hot; the relentless summer sun is beating down from the sky and the air is thick with humidity. I'm dying in my blazer, but I'm doing my best not to show it.

The couple exchanges a smile, and then the wife says to me, "The house is gorgeous. I could absolutely see us living here. I'm guessing it's probably going to go fast, isn't it?"

I nod. "With the way the market is right now, yes. But don't let that pressure you. Take a little time to think about it and let me know if you want to move forward with an offer. If you do, I'll take it from there and do everything I can to get you the property."

"Thanks, Karin. We really appreciate you."

"Of course! It's my pleasure."

I wave to my clients as they climb into their car. As soon as they drive away, I rush over to my car, tear off my blazer, and let out a sigh of relief as the air conditioning blasts through the vents. God, that feels incredible.

I check my watch and feel another rush of relief when I see that I have plenty of time to make it to Amelia's play. Today is the last day of her camp, and the kids are putting on a performance for all the parents. Amelia has refused to tell me anything about the play, but Ryan, who has been helping her rehearse her lines, has told me that it's going to be great.

As I drive over to the day camp, I reflect about the sweet bond that Amelia and Ryan have formed over the past few weeks. Ryan is so good with my daughter, and she adores him to no end. I don't know how Amelia is going to deal with it when the summer eventually comes to an end and Ryan has to leave.

Come on, Karin. Be honest with yourself. You're going to struggle when he goes, too. And not just because he's been making your life easier.

Fine. That's true. I've developed a real fondness for him. But can you blame me? He's just so…pleasant to be around. He's easy to talk to, he makes me laugh, and he's always so attentive…

Okay. So I have a little crush on him. Or, fine. A big crush. Is that such a terrible thing? It's not like I've done anything about it. I've kept my swooning to myself.

I turn up the air conditioning and focus on the road. When I arrive at the day camp, I spot Ryan's car and pull into the spot next to it. I make my way across the park to an area that's been set up with a curtained stage and a bunch of folding chairs.

"Karin!"

I see Ryan waving at me from the front row. I smile and make my way over to him. My heart thumps harder the closer I get to him. The t-shirt he's wearing today makes his muscular arms look incredibly good. Then again, everything Ryan wears makes him look incredibly good. The man is unbelievably chiseled.

"Thanks for grabbing these seats," I say.

"Sure thing. How's your day been?"

"Hot."

Ryan laughs, his gorgeous eyes shining. "Not a fan of the heat?"

"Not this kind of heat. Are you?"

"I kind of like it, actually. It's like being in a sauna."

"Now that is a much nicer way of thinking about it."

We continue to talk as the seats around us fill up. Soon the camp director is calling for everyone's attention and introducing the play we're about to see. My chest fills with anticipation as the curtain rises and the kids appear, all in handmade costumes.

The play that they put on for us is delightfully entertaining. It's full of drama, suspense, and heartfelt moments—and I'm incredibly proud of Amelia's performance. When it's over and all the kids take a bow, Ryan cups his hands around his mouth and cheers loudly, and my daughter beams at both of us from up on the stage.

Afterward, as everyone is mingling on the grass, one of the other moms comes up to us and introduces herself, telling us her name is Nina.

"We're having a barbecue at our place, if you'd like to come," Nina says. "Everyone's invited."

"That sounds great," Ryan says.

"We'll be there," I say.

"Wonderful!" says Nina, and gives us her address. As she walks away, I look over at Ryan, suddenly self-conscious about accepting the invitation on his behalf.

"Sorry, I should have checked with you first," I say. "Please don't feel like you have to go with us."

"Are you kidding?" he says. "Of course I'm going to go."

The way he smiles at me makes my heart beat way harder than it should. And despite my best efforts, I once again find myself secretly fantasizing about a make-believe future with him.

"Which one is yours?" asks one of the other moms.

I'm standing in Nina and John's crowded backyard, sipping on a refreshingly cold wine cooler while barbecue smoke rises into the sky and all the kids play in the impressively grand treehouse in the corner of the yard. I smile and gesture toward Amelia.

"The one dangling from the tree like a monkey," I say.

The other mother laughs. "Impressive. Does she do gymnastics?"

"Not currently, but that's a great suggestion. I'll have to ask her if she's interested."

"Oh, do. My daughter does it, and she loves it. I'll give you the name of the gym we go to. I'm Jennifer, by the way."

"My name is Karin. It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," she says. "I'm sorry we haven't gotten a chance to meet until now. I've seen your husband drop off your daughter, though."

"Oh, he's not my husband," I say in a rush, feeling heat come into my cheeks.

She looks at me curiously. "My mistake. I just assumed."

"No, it's fine. He's my daughter's nanny. That's all. I'm a single mom, and it's been a really busy summer," I add, even though I know I don't need to explain myself.

Jennifer smiles. "I see."

The summer heat is suddenly feeling even more oppressive than before. "Will you excuse me? I need to use the restroom."

It's a relief to get out of the heat again. I search inside the house for a bathroom and find one down a hallway. It's a cute powder room, with bright geometric wallpaper making a statement on one wall. Sunlight is streaming in through a window up high on the wall.

I rise up on my tiptoes to peer through the glass at the backyard scene that I just fled from like an awkward teenage girl. The last time I saw Ryan, he was talking to some of the other men. But I don't see him now. Amelia is still playing with the other kids, though. That's good.

I pull myself away from the window and walk over to the sink to look in the mirror. My cheeks aren't noticeably red, but I still feel flustered from my conversation with Jennifer.

She didn't actually think Ryan was my husband, did she? I frown at my reflection, all kinds of critical thoughts clouding my mind. Ryan is way too attractive to be with an average-looking woman like me. He could have anyone he wants. Why would he choose me?

I shake my head, annoyed that I'm being so hard on myself. I wash my hands and pull open the bathroom door.

"Oh!" I say, surprised to see Ryan standing there.

Ryan tilts his head a little as he studies me, his tousled hair falling to the side. "Are you okay, Karin? I saw you rush into the house and I was worried something was wrong."

He noticed that?"I'm fine. Thanks for checking."

"Are you sure you aren't feeling sick or anything?" He frowns. "Heatstroke is serious."

I smile, touched that he's so concerned about me. "I'm fine. Really."

We start to walk back up the hallway together. I'm not in any rush to go back outside, and it doesn't seem like Ryan is, either. Surely that's only because of the heat, though.

He glances over at me a few more times, like he's still worried about me. I know he's just being thoughtful and there's nothing to read into, but it's nice. I'm so used to being the one who's taking care of another person that being on the receiving end feels like a luxury.

"This is a beautiful home," I say, glancing around us. "It looks like they remodeled it about ten years ago."

"How can you tell?" Ryan asks.

"The style of the fixtures and finishes." Our feet slow, and I point some out and start to talk about the design choices, and how I can tell that whoever did the remodel didn't cut corners. I don't mean to keep talking on and on about it, but once I start, it's hard to stop.

I smile sheepishly at Ryan. "I'm sure that was way more than you care to know."

"No, I love hearing about it. You really know your stuff."

"I've always loved houses," I say, shrugging. "It's basically the only thing I know a lot about."

"That's not true," he says. "What about being a mom?"

"What about it?"

"You know a lot about that, too." His eyes gleam as he looks at me. "I don't think you give yourself enough credit sometimes, Karin. You're an amazing woman."

His words stun me. No one has ever said that to me. Emotion rises in my throat as I absorb the moment.

"I'm just doing what I can," I say, my voice wavering a little.

"No. I see how much you do. I see how much you care." The corner of his lips gently lifts. "The world needs more people like you."

Before I can stop myself, I'm leaning in. I'm tilting up my chin. I'm pressing my lips to his. I kiss him like there's no other option, like free will doesn't exist. Desire and gratitude are both surging inside me, blotting out all common sense.

His lips are incredible. They're strong and smooth and masculine. I could die happy, kissing this man.

And then I remember that he's not just any man, and I jolt away from him, mortified at what I've just done.

"I'm sorry," I blurt out, stepping away, giving him back his personal space.

Ryan shakes his head and steps forward, closing the space between us again. "I'm not."

It feels like time slows down as he dips his head down to bring our lips together again. I draw in a surprised breath, a delightful shiver running up my back as we share our second kiss. This time it lasts longer. It…glows. The way Ryan is kissing me is hot and needy and—oh God, his tongue?—

A pair of approaching footsteps interrupts us, and I quickly pull away. But not quickly enough to avoid being seen.

It's Jennifer. Shit.

She takes one look at us, raises her eyebrows, and then smiles at me. "Is the bathroom down here?"

"Yep," I say, clearing my throat. "Right down that hallway."

I can tell she's trying to hide a smile as she walks past us. Why oh why did I have to tell her that Ryan is my nanny?

I look at Ryan, who isn't paying any attention to Jennifer. He's solely focused on me. In fact, he looks like he wants to kiss me again.

I want him to kiss me again. Desperately. Because that kiss we just shared was magical beyond belief. I want it over and over again. I want to give myself to him completely.

But I'm scared. I'm worried about the repercussions of getting involved with the man I'm paying to look after my daughter. I'm worried it will make everything complicated and confusing, especially for Amelia.

Most of all, I'm scared that Ryan will ultimately decide he doesn't want me.

"I'm sorry," I say, swallowing as I look Ryan in the eye. "I can't do this. Not here—or anywhere."

Ryan is quiet for several seconds. Then he gently shifts away from me. "Okay. I understand."

"I'm sorry," I say again.

"There's nothing to apologize for."

"No, there is. I shouldn't have kissed you. I got caught up in the moment."

He looks like he wants to say something else, but just nods. "We should probably go back outside."

Neither of us say anything as we start walking again. As we step out of the house, the thick humid air hits me all at once.

It's the heat, I tell myself, desperate for a reason to explain my behavior. That's all it is. It made us do something we wouldn't have normally done.

But even as I tell myself that, I know it isn't true.