Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

K iera waited nervously at the Jam Pot. Seymour wasn’t there this time, which was disappointing. Her subtle support had been invaluable last time. The young man with the closely-shaved head behind the till was, presumably, Seymour’s boyfriend, Jack. He was friendly enough, and gave her a warm smile when she ordered her cortado, but she didn’t feel comfortable telling him she was awaiting a date.

Natasha worked in a local independent bookshop that had opened only a few months before on the High Street. She had thick red hair and a shy smile in her profile, her freckles endearing her to Kiera. They had chatted about the books they were reading in their messages, and she had quickly suggested to Keira that they meet. She knew the Jam Pot already, so it was an obvious choice.

After Natasha arrived, it seemed to Kiera that the awkwardness of the introductions faded quicker than it had with Hannah. She wasn’t sure if that was because she was feeling more confident, or because Natasha might be a better match.

Once they were both settled with fresh coffees and toast, they fell into easy conversation. “Have you read the Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo?” asked Natasha, delicately spreading blackcurrant jam on her toast.

“Oh, yes. I loved it. It was out for ages before I read it,” said Kiera, happy to have some common ground to discuss. “Taylor Jenkins Reid is such a brilliant storyteller.”

“She really is,” said Natasha.

“I read all her others after that one,” said Kiera.

“I just love that narrative about a true love, through all those years, in such a challenging time.”

“Yeah, although it is rather tortured, though,” said Kiera. “We’re lucky now to be able to be open about who we are, and not have to hide behind beards.”

“I love that phrase,” said Natasha, with a laugh. “Where does it come from? I mean, I know what it means, but what’s its origin?”

“Good question,” said Kiera. “It’s part of that whole history of ‘lavender marriages’, right? When gay people married people of the opposite gender in a mutual agreement. Thank heavens we don’t have to do that anymore.”

“God, I know. But it’s still around, in places. I have an ex who does something like that. She’s part of a really old-fashioned religious family. Maya, that’s her name, has a guy she went to school with who stands in as her boyfriend at family events and weddings.”

“Wow,” said Kiera, “you’re kidding. That must have made your relationship tricky.”

“Yeah,” replied Natasha, with a grimace. “It all started when we were at uni, years ago. We had an on-off relationship during termtime, and then during the vacations, she’d break off contact completely. It was a bit of a nightmare.”

“Sounds it. It must have been so hard for you.”

“It was,” Natasha continued. “We lived together for a bit, a few years ago. It was all going smoothly, but then her mother was seriously ill and she was seeing more of her family. I had to pretend to be her lodger.”

“Wow. No wonder you broke up.”

“We got back together for a bit last year,” said Natasha, her gaze fading into the distance, and tears beginning to form in her eyes. Kiera swallowed and looked away. “God, it was torture. Never have I had my heart broken so badly. In truth, I’m still a bit broken.”

“I guess,” said Kiera, searching for the right words, “I guess we’re all beholden to our baggage, in one way or another.”

Natasha looked up at Keira, her eyes large and red. “Thank you, yes, we are. You’re so kind.”

“Um, well, thank you,” said Kiera, putting out her hand and gently placing it on top of Natasha’s. This was rapidly turning into something that resembled a counselling session rather than a date.

“God, I’m sorry. You don’t need to hear this stuff,” said Natasha.

“It’s ok,” said Kiera, more to make Natasha feel comfortable than anything else.

“Whoever let you go was a fool,” said Natasha, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. Kiera smiled, uncertainly. “Let’s talk about something else,” she said, taking a deep breath, trying to press some kind of reset button.

“Let’s. Have you travelled? Where’s the most interesting place you’ve ever been?”

“Ooh, that’s a great question,” replied Natasha, smiling. “ I haven’t travelled as much as I would like, but I loved Berlin when I went there. It is such a vibrant and diverse city. Visiting the places where parts of the wall can still be seen was really interesting.”

“I’ve not been,” said Kiera, relieved to be talking about something else, “but I’d love to know. The city – and obviously the country itself – has such a complex history.”

“Totally. Maya and I loved it. There’s so much to see, and so much has happened and changed there since the end of the Second World War. We always planned to go back. But we never got the chance.” Natasha’s eyes filled once more, and she looked away.